Tired of Being Sympathetic (Venting)

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Men can be so stubborn sometimes, especially when it comes to their health. Other than staying on him about taking his meds and doing the rinse daily, there's probably not a whole lot you can do. Let him keep calling in "sick," and when he runs out of sick time when he really DOES get ill, he'll be screwed, and maybe get his butt in gear. I think he just needs to learn the lesson himself.

Given that his allergies are so bad all year round, do you think that when you move out of state he will be free and clear? Maybe it could be an allergy issue in the house that could be taken care of..either way, good luck. I know it's frustrating.

Oh gee J....

I have allergies and Asthma.
I also get the Flu shot EVERY year, because of that.
Has your Husband, gotten the Flu shot?
People with Asthma... if they get sick, the Asthma can really complicate things... and their mortality.

I take Claritin. I don't like Zyrtec. It affects everyone differently.
There is also Allegra.

I also take my inhaler when needed. It is preventative as well as it is called a "rescue inhaler." For when Asthma is more pronounced.
It is NEEDED.

You know that.
Your Husband is being, very immature about it.
And taking his sick days willy-nilly... when it can be prevented as you said.
So you are moving out of state next year. That is a long time, if/when he gets sick... or has a bad Asthma attack.
Days off or sick days... are not infinite. It runs out.

You can't make anyone take their meds.
So that is the pathetic part... reflecting upon HIS, maladjustment to it and his responsibility as a Dad and Husband. He is thinking about himself.
Which is very selfish.

And his Mom... is really not helping. He is not a baby. She treats him like one.
Your daughter replicates this behavior. That is sad. A vicious cycle has begun.

Asthma... is very dangerous. People die from it.
Doesn't he know that?

Many things, can trigger the Asthma.... and make it worse. Attacks can come on suddenly.

Does his Doctor, know he is NOT following orders?
A Doctor cannot do anything, when the patient FAILS to follow, their health treatments.

Another thing is: you are all moving out of State next year. DOES your Husband have a job lined up, already? If not, you all will NOT have medical insurance... THUS... he CANNOT get his Asthma meds... or he will not have a Doctor... either. AND this can be very costly.
That would, worry me, personally.

Put it this way: My Husband's company is downsizing. Thus, IF my Husband is laid-off, we will NOT have medical coverage either and will have to pay for it ourselves. That is expensive. THUS, I have, already visited my Doc, and gotten my refills of my Asthma inhalers. JUST in case. (just in case we at some time, do not have medical insureance until my Husband gets another job, for example). And because, I am thinking, ahead. AND... winter time is usually a time in which the Flu and MANY illnesses and colds, are hitting people. And thus, with Asthma... you GOTTA think about that, already. AND be prepared.

.

Well for sure never discuss this with your MIL again. When he calls in, does he get paid? If he is getting paid and your finances aren't being affected, then I say let it go and let him deal with his own health. Nothing more irritating to anyone than someone nagging them about their health, even though you may be totally right. If this is hurting the family income, then I do think you have every right to address that and ask him to do whatever is needed to be at work. I know that a lot of absences hurt job stability but if he has a job and is getting paid, I say lay off it. If he were to lose his job over all this, then of course you would be right to address these health issues again. This is a chronic problem for him it seems and if you back off of it, except where it directly affects the family, I think it will help. It's just like any problem a person has, being overweight, smoking, too much computer time etc, until the person wants to change it won't happen and no amount of nagging will help. Good luck!!

Men! This is why I go with my husband to the doctor.. He's totally clueless when it comes to all that stuff and I stay on top of him and make sure he takes his meds if he has any (he's normally really good about it so it's not often I have to nag).. So basically the whole of his doctors appointments is the doctor asking ME what's been going on lol he forgets symptoms or is embarassed/ doesn't want to sound like he's whining.. so that's what I'm there for :) If I were you I'd call the doc's office and let them know what's going on that he's not using equipment he should be and he's not taking meds or rinsing, whatever he's skipping and tell them it's making him "sick", send him in for an appointment and see how that goes. If HE doesn't want to take charge of his healthcare you should at least try and see how that goes.

sounds typical - hear similar from my mom on my dad a lot (tho both are retired) - it's gotten so that she goes w/him to any dr appt cause he rarely comes back w/the correct info - kinda hears only what he wants to hear! it may well take him landing himself in the hospital before he "gets" it! ((hugs))

Sounds like your hubby is suffering from depression. can you get him to consider talking to a dr about that? course then he wont' take those meds.
It's hard when you feel you are in the position of babysitting the one that you thought was going to be your support system while you raised children. Been there, but left. Eventually you have to think about the influence he is on your child.