TMI - Getting Intimacy in 40'S to Be More like the 30'S

Dear P.-

I cannot speak to the 'earlyforties' per se...I was divorcing at that time...and sex had been a very very distant memory for me for some time then...

BUT I can give you 'hope' for the late 40's and early fifties...post menapausal...
Iin MY case, a caring, loving, gentle, experienced man in my life now. I do NOT know if all the planets just aligned...or if I am particularly deserving at this point in my life...or that the kids are older...or I am just more comfortable in my own (albiet wrinkled) skin...BUT WOW!!!!

I would have to say a 'ratio' (to put it delicately...LOL) of at least 3 to 1...

I do think...for me...knowing that I was no longer able to become pregnant freed me greatly. Or maybe I have been making up for lost time!!

Who knows...who cares??? LOL

Take heart...for ME the fifties have been the BEST ever!

Enjoy..
Merry merry!
Cat/michele

It's time to spread your wings! Most women are more comfortable with their bodies, and more open to experimentation than when they were younger. Sex is an act of love and bonding, surely, but it's also about pleasure. Once you're in a stable relationship, it can shift from one to the other, depending on mood. The more time you spend thinking, talking, planning, setting the stage, and trying new things, the more you'll enjoy it. It really is 90% between the ears, 10% between the thighs. Your energy has been spent on your baby the last few years, which is normal. First priority, get your babe to sleep all night. Then, do a little research on ways to give your hubby spine-tingling orgasms. Look at it from that direction, and see if you don't have more interest. Then, he'll want to do the same for you. If you look at sex as free fun instead of the "glue that holds a marriage together", it becomes less of an "obligation." (And tell your husband that the reason you "don't make as much noise" as you used to is sleeping in the next room!) Good luck---you're in your prime now! Make the most of it, and HAVE FUN! N. B. Pure Romance consultant for over 10 years

I feel the same way.
I think having a child changes everything.
Never mind just life stress and aging.
I've been told to just go ahead and have sex and a few mins it....you're glad you're doing it and it feels good.
So my best advice? Don't have any preconceived notions, just do it.
Have sex w/hubby. It will end up feeling good and I think it goes a long way towards keeping your marriage healthy. Trust me....I know this b/c my hubby checked out and now it's over. Good luck, hang in there and try to do it.
Also, would reading some sexy literature (like Hustler) possibly get you in the mood? I know....TMI.

you are bored. Funny I just heard something on the radio this am. You need to mix it up now. You and your husband need to go on vacation without the kids, or spend a weekend alone. Buy some special lingerie to make yourself feel sexy. Glass of wine. Tell you hubby you want to try something new.
The radio show said women need at least 30 minutes to warm up.
Merry Christmas!

Hopefully you have a family member that your daughter could maybe spend the night with once in a while, Go out to dinner. good bottle of wine and just be grownups for the night. I had the same issues it was like okay just get this over with because I have a ton to do or I need sleep. Let your husband know you are going to need a little more than - do you wanna go upstairs- it takes a few dinners a few nights our as grown ups but then you finally remember how fun it can be

I know exactly what you mean! I've talked to my ob and my psychiatrist about it, got the best advice from the psych doc....when your husband asks you for sex, compare it to any time you ask him to go see your parents...he doesn't really like the idea of visiting your parents, he's too tired..it'll take too much time..etc. But, after the visit, he's always glad he came (pun intended). Just don't get so far removed from the routine that it becomes an uncomfortable subject.

Good luck :)

LUBE LUBE LUBE.
Possibly flavored lube.
Also, get started ahead of time . . .
as in get your mind into where your body will be . . . .
mental images and/or music and/or anticipa . . . . tion.
See if you can arrange some child care occasionally
so you can spend some special time w/your DH
in situations where you won't be concerned about making noise.
========================
If you want to read some erotic literature,
there are books (and magazines) specifically for women.
More soft, delicate than men's magazines.

I know you are tired and getting more sleep would be optimal. Make sure you are taking a good vitamin. You might also get a vitamin b12 for the daytime to give you more energy.

As women we have to concentrate more to think about sex during the day when men think about it at least once every 30 minutes. Start thinking about sex early in the day. Try to mentally 'feel' the arousal in yourself and picture what you would like to be doing with your husband or what you liked before. Think of times when when it was really good and what makes you feel sexy.

As for the actual act, I'm going to suggest a BOB (battery operated boyfriend). You can learn more about what gets you into it and you can use it while intimate to increase your 'results'. Also, try lubricants with sensation enhancement.

Good luck! It is worth is to make sure your man gets taken care of too.

Taking Soy isoflavones helped me. My friend uses Omega 3-6-9 works for her. There are in the vitamin section at Wal-Mart. It doesn't cost much and it works. It takes about a month to get in your system, but after that you good to go!!! I'm 43 and my firend is 48. Enjoy your fabulous 40's.

http://www.thelongevitynowconference.com/wolfe-video-1.html

I just discovered this guy - - David Wolfe. His information about hormones and keeping your body young is stuff that I've never heard before. I'm considering ordering the archives of his last conference.