To Circ or Not to Circ?

We did not circ out son. He's 14 years old and doing fine. We just did not think it made any sense to do it. We are glad we did not. I think we were asked 3 times if we wanted. Once was when he was still in the ICU.
Have a wonderful baby boy!
I have been home full time with my son since he was 2 doing a home business.
Blessings,
S.

I have two boys. We chose not to circ either of them. My husband was born in Norway and was not circ'ed - it was not standard practice there in the 70s. So mainly we decided not to because he wasn't. There doesn't seem to be any evidence that this is necessary in any way.

We didn't and it has been fine. They don't wonder why they aren't like daddy or anything. I scanned through the responses and didn't see that anyone had shared this so...you can find more info at nocirc.org

We did not do this. It seemed so antiquated and out of date. The males on my husband's side are all not circ. It has never been a problem for my husband and we've had no problems to date (2 years and counting) with our son. If we lived in a culture where I felt my son was a risk because of being uncircucised, we would have done it. But in a modern, industrialized country, I see absolutley no reason to circumcise boys. A side note, when our OB heard we weren't goign to circumcise she said "Now I like you even more." So as a professional, she is against it too.

You have gotten so many responses and I read most but did not see the fact that it removes about 80% of the nerve endings. Our son is NOT circumcised, I could not imagine telling him I chose to have this done for no real medical reason, does not make sense to me. I also read research that said boys who have had it done have a greater sensitivity to pain from this early experience. I agree with trusting your heart about what feels right for your little boy. Blessings!

Hi A.! This is a loaded question and I am so glad to see that most people are minding their manners on the subject!
This is TOTALLY a personal decision! We had our son circ'd because my hubby was really passionate about it. Guess what? Our little guy slept through it! And no, they didn't knock him out :)

One thing I will mention, only because it was brought up, that FEMALE circumcision and Male circumcision are NOT THE SAME THING! Female circumcision is torture, makes it almost impossible to urinate, makes sex excruciatingly painful and is SOLELY done to please men. Even though both are cultural, male circ is NOT torture and does not cause daily physical and emotional pain. Again, they are not the same.

I never even considered circumsizing my son, and luckily more and more people are choosing not to, so he will not feel out of place compared to other kids these days. (Which is why some people still do it) Also reading about the procedure and how awful it is and how different some peoples son's were after the procedure (seemed like they had been tortured) Its an easy enough decision. Lots of parents get guilted into doing it by older members of the family, but new research shows that it is more clean and healthy to NOT circumsize him. Good luck with your decision.

I know you're getting LOTS of opinions on this subject, but I just wanted to ad my two cents. :)
When we talked to our doctor about it (we were against) she told us that in the US it's anywhere from 60%-40% or even 50%-50% people who do circ and people who don't. So either way, don't think he'll be the "only one".
I also asked my brother, who is NOT circ'd, if anyone ever made fun of him in the locker room or whatever. He's 28, and we grew up in VERY rural Wisconsin. He said to me "who the heck was looking???" very seriously. lol.
Also, most insurance no longer covers it. Money may not be a factor for you, but I was surprised how much it would have cost at our hospital -- around $650.
Remember to go with your gut so you don't regret it. Whatever you choose, you don't want your son to come to you when he's a grown-up and say "why?" and not have a good answer.
Good luck with your baby!

(We've got an intact two year old, and another boy on the way... he was also be intact.)

These are the types of questions that usually start debates. :( I'll just say I curcumcised my first boy and not my second. They are 8 years apart. If you do research on it, watch videos of the circumcision i'm pretty sure your choice will be NOT to do it. IT is not something that needs to be done. They don't get infections or have problems from not having it done and he wont' get teased later in life because it's getting more and more common NOT to have it done. Good luck with your decision. Just do some research please!

My husband is and our son is NOT. (My dad isn't either and he said it is no big deal keeping clean.)

I personally haven't given my son's any extra attention for washing or anything. He plays in the tub and I just figure it comes clean enough that way. He has had NO PROBLEMS.

I just couldn't put him through that pain for no reason. Especially since fewer and fewer babies are getting it done. I figured pretty soon the boys who have it done will start getting teased....... Just a thought.

As for the whole AIDS and STD aspect....What ever happened to ABSTINENCE??? Maybe that is what we should be teaching our children instead of cutting off pieces of their body to "protect" them from premarital sex...

I agree with the post that says GOD MADE BABIES PERFECT!!! There is no reason to alter the way God designed us. In Galations (maybe chaper 10?? I can't remember for sure...) it even says that circ is NOT a requirement! It no longer seperates God's people from others. Jesus died for our sins so we no longer have these "rules" that must be followed. We only need to except Jesus as our savior to get to heaven.

Congrats!

My two boys, 13yrs and 3 yrs, are not circ'd. My 13 year old has noticed, in the locker room at school, that three quarters of the boys are circ'd. He feels sorry for them and is so thankful that we didn't do it to him. He says it would be like cutting off your eyelid - your eye would be all dried out and not work the same. My husband IS circ'd, and I think he has had to deal with his own long-buried grief over not being given the choice to remain intact. I give him a lot of credit for facing that and allowing his son to be whole. In the old days, you could get teased for not being circ'd, you could also get teased for being Polish or African American, or for having a high IQ... Whatever you decide, don't do it to avoid teasing - that reason would sound pretty lame when you try to explain it when he's older. Anyway, there are more people now who don't do it, so your son wouldn't be the only one. I couldn't stand to hurt my baby for vanity - I was there when they circ'd my nephew, it was awful to see him strapped on that board. I think we are so callous to our babies sometimes.

Hello A.,
I'll start out by saying that I have 1 son and he is circumcised. I am also a nurse who used to work in a nursing home and now works in labor and delivery.

I would say that almost every caucasian newborn baby at this time are being circumcised ( at least where I work, in a major metro hospital) . Many/most immigrant families do not circumcise, truely it appears to be more of a cultural related thing.

I have worked in nursing homes where the little old men have had to have circ's as they can't tend to themselves as well as they should and end up with bad infections because of lack of hygiene attention. (very common)

When my son was very little it was discovered he had a bladder problem that would put him at risk for bladder infections and the ped urology speacialist said to us before even examining our son... " I don't know if your son is circumcised or not, but he should be. I recommend that as a primary source of infection defense to all of my patients with this problem or any other." On that same note... I know that in Africa they are recommending circumcision for helping decrease the transmission rates of HIV. It has been shown that uncircumcised men had a higher rate of HIV infection than uncircumised. (I know this is getting a little far out there)

These are the reasons we circ'ed our son. 1)To "look" the same as everyone else in his class. 2) To decrease chance of urinary infections and more serious infections. 3) To avoid the possibility of having it done later in life (more painful, embarressing and hospital stay), 4) To decrease chance if STD transmission later on in life. 5) Basic hygiene is easier. 6) They say it is a cosmetic procedure but it does have health benefits for it.

Hope that helps give you a little more info to help make up your own mind. Some people can get a little crazy when you bring up the topic, but what matters is that you feel good about what you decide for your own child in the end.
Good luck

We decided not to circ. We made the decision based on what research we did. It's not medically necessary and if you don't get it done at birth it is considered cosmetic surg. There are lots of opinions on both sides so we tried to look at it another way. We wouldn't gauge our baby's ears out with out him making that decision. We see it as a form of body modification that should be left up to our son when he is older and if he so chooses.

Hope this gives you a different point of view to help make your decision!

Congratulations on your baby! I would NEVER circ a son. It is not medically necessary and if it were so important to have that little piece of skin removed, why would he be born with it? Babies are born perfect, why does the medical community think that they need any alteration? Many people will say we want him to look like other boys or his dad. When do boys compare parts and how important is this? Most of Europe does not circ their boys, there is no reason. There is a movement for no circ and the reasoning and information is quite helpful. Try googling a site about no circ.
God is giving you this wonderful perfect baby, leave him alone, the way he was made.
Congratulations, good luck and enjoy your kids!
J.

Congratulations on your son! Reading these posts have made me feel better. We did not have our son circ. Sometimes I am wondering if we did the right thing, but now I feel better. It is definatly a personal choice. We decided not to do it because of the risk of infection and pain (i was a nervous first time mom with my son) I figured if it was something that bothered him later in life that he could make the choice to get it done (although I imagine it would be pretty painful) The hardest part of not having it for us was him being different. I know that one of my friends had her son circ. and they had to do it again when he was 3 because they did not take enough skin off--which I guess is pretty common.

My father-in-law had to get his circ done at age 55 and a friend of ours had it done in his 20s. They found the experience at this age to be unpleasant.

Whatever you decide will not have enormous physical or emotional impact on your son. You will either not do it and never think about it again or you will do it and never think about it again. But you know who might have a good opinion? Your husband or brother. Ask them.

I agree with another poster that this question will start heated debate and you may find some of it hurtful; especially if, in your heart of hearts, you have already made a decision.

If you decide to have it done just by choice and not for medical reasons, be prepared, several years from now, with the answer when he asks 'why did you do it?'

My son was born 47 years ago overseas and it was done as a matter of course at the time. I was never able to give a satisfactory reason, that he could understand, when he first asked.

I also kinda left the decision up to my husband. He got circ'd when he was 13-- still not by choice, so he knew truly how it felt and what it was like to have and not have =) Anyways, he did decide from his own experience to circ our son and to do it young. It truly is a personal choice of hot debate =) Congrats and good luck!!

We never thought of not circumsizing our sons. We have two and both are circumsized. Their dad is also. It is a matter of family choice, but we wanted our sons to look like their dad, as well as their friends in the locker room in high school. The boys were not traumatized by the procedure, they don't have any memories of the event and the care required after the procedure was vaseline around the tip every diaper change until it healed, and it healed by their two week old dr. visit.
If you have any questions about the procedure itself, talk to your doctor, don't use the info on the internet. Sometimes I think that causes more anxiousness than help.
Talk to your ob at your next appt. He or she can put your mind at ease.
And, just remember, either way is right, you and your husband need to make the decision that's right for you and your family.
Congrats on the new bundle of joy and best of luck with your decision.
P.

We chose not to circumcise our son. My husband is European, not circumcised, and didn't understand why I would even consider it. I do daycare and I've noticed that the boys are almost 50-50 nowadays, so there isn't the issue of being different from the other boys. Hygiene isn't really an issue if you talk to doctors. There is a slightly higher risk of cancer and getting and transmitting STDs, but using condoms is effective. I finally decided that it was a deed that couldn't be undone, but that could easily wait until later. If we had a problem with hygiene, which we haven't, or if he decides that it is something he wants to have done later it could be done at that time with pain killers.

Congrats on your little guy.
My 2 year old son in not circumcised. He was born at a major Metro (St. Paul) hospital. My Husband was the one that was against it, he is circumcised. Our agreement was that if the Ped could give us a good reason, medically, then we would have it done, if he could not then we would not. The Ped. actually told us there is not medical reasona to do it. If the child is taught proper hygiene then there are no medical issues involved and actaully there tend to be fewer bladder infections and problems with uncircumcised boys. There are also sexual implications for later in life. There are million of nerves and it actually produces fluids, it is a gland of sorts. He also told us that he circumcises only about half of the boys he doctors so there really isn't the stigma of "you are different than everyone else" anymore. The last point he made was that if he has trouble or feels that he wants to be circumsized, they can do it later in life. It is not an easy surgery, but it would be his choice.

Good luck!
R.

We did circ our son whose four now. I know it helps with health issues and being clean down there. I guess my hubby and I never gave it a second thought. I hope this helps.

B. F.

Circumcision is a painful and permanent thing--there's no going back once you've done that to him. I guess you have to ask yourself if you yourself would like to be circumcised and if the answer is no, then I guess you've got your answer.

I think the easiest way to make this decision is to do whatever Dad has. Then there will be no issues of comparison and feeling "different". I chose to circ both my sons. Dad is, but also for hygenic and religious reasons. In the Bible it is a sign of a covenant with God. but also much easier to keep clean. Also I would add that I am actually really glad we did,especially with my older son who is 11 and we still have to fight him about taking showers and stuff, so I could only imagine how bad it would be if we had that to deal with on top of everything else.

My son is not circumcized..In nursing school I saw it done to a baby and I just could not bring myself to have my child have it done.....It just looked like a bad situation. But everyone has there own opinion. If you do decide to have it done to you son, please do not watch! I have had parents go into the exam room with the doctors to watch and the moms have become very emotional (hormones at a high!)

We were told by the pediatrician at the hospital where we delivered (Fairview Riverside, Minneapolis) that there is no medical or health reason to circumsize, that it is a personal/religious/cultural choice. This is consistent with the literature I had read. My husband was the holdout. So I said, OK I'll agree to the circumcision if you are with him when it's performed. Well that settled that. Our 16 month old is not circumsized and we do not have plans to do so.

I agree that it is an individual decision. Either choice is a good one, depending on your intentions for doing it. I have 3 boys and chose not to circ. for many of the reasons mentioned below. But one that has not been mentioned is what removing the skin can change for the child in the future. This part of their body is highly sensitive, therefor allowing for more sexual pleasure. My Husband is circ'd, and says he couldn't imagine getting more pleasure ;) . However, I couldn't justify making that type of huge decision for my children without their consent. I felt the decision should really come from them.
One more thing, I was in the room w/my nephew when he was circ'd, and it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated it would be for him. But I have heard many times that a child has to go in for a 're-do' due to complications from the first attempt.
Make the decision that is right for you and your child. Not the decision that is right for others.
Good luck!
J.

I had both my boys done because my husband told me the horror stories of what it was like for the boys growing up who didn't have it done. First off, it's much harder to keep them clean "down there" when it's not done and more prone to infection. Then, I think we all know how cruel kids are to each other and my husband was telling me about changing for gym in the locker rooms or having to take showers after gym class and how there was a boy who wasn't circumcized and the other boys just relentlessly teased him every day. I think it was just because it made him different from the other boys and they took it and ran with it. Plus, I guess I didn't see any reason not to. Good luck with your decision.

Congrats on the new little guy soon to be coming. We chose to circ for a few different reasons but the main reason was so when he was standing after gym showering we didn't want other kids to pick on him. My husband is not circ and he said he always hate gym class cause he would get picked on while they were showering. Crazy but that is why we chose too. Good luck

I think most familys base their decision on whether dad is or not. Socially and hygienically I think it's better if they are.

I actually left this decision up to my husband because I thought he'd be more knowledgable about it! :) We did end up doing a circ. and haven't had any issues with either of our boys. You just need to keep the area clean and use a bit a vaseline so there are no issues with the diaper... After a couple days, the baby and parents don't know the difference. Whatever you decide will be fine!

A friend of mine had it done for her son on the basis that her relatives STILL have to threaten their older child with circumcision because he will not keep himself clean! I would say you need to hear from some men on this subject. Are they glad or not that they were circumcised? I believe most say that they are glad they WERE. If you do decide to go with it, like I did, ask around for the best person to do it. a couple minutes makes a huge difference when your little guy is crying. I found a doctor that was known to have it done in less than two minutes. The extra money I paid was worth it. (too bad that wasn't in Des Moines). anyways, make the decision based on what you feel is best for your child, not what everyone's opinions are. Me? I'm glad we did it. we did it at 3 or 4 days old... the earlier the better!

A.,

We went back and forth on this one for a long time. There are plenty of good arguements out there for both sides. The best advice we got was to make the son look like the father. It was good advice and we are glad we did.

Good luck,
S.

You're probably going to get a lot of strong opinions on this one, but I think it's just a personal, family choice. After doing a ton of research, we decided not to circ our son. My husband is not circ'd, and he's had no issues. Also, I didn't see the point in putting our son thru an unneccesary medical/seemingly painful procedure. I'm really glad that we didn't do it, and if we have another son, we won't circ him either. I can see both sides of the coin though, and I'm sure whatever decision you and your spouse make will be the best one. Congrats on your impending arrival!

My husband and I both felt it was not our place to do a "cosmetic" surgery. We read the research and concluded it was not medically necessary, and that we would support our son later on in life if he decided he wanted it done, but that we were not going to make that decision for him.

P.S. My husband (my son's father) is circumcised. We didn't feel we had to have him "follow in daddy's footprints" with this.

hm.
good question girl.
now, ive learned quite a bit in the past few years since having my son.
one of those is that its no longer a religious requirement to circumsise our kids. God doesnt require we be circumcised anymore. if you have questions, please ask me and i can help you with that.
however, even learning that, i think we would have still circumcised our son (we did) - just so that it is easier to clean and so that he looks like dad. it may be an unneccesary pain for your child (though my son never screamed or cried, but he did pee on the doctor LOL) sometimes you make the choice for other reasons.
good luck with this choice.
a couple resources;
mothering magazine (search for it - they have a website)
www.askdrsears.com

i have 4 boys and i also left it up to thier dads (married twice). they both said to have it done. he said kids can be mean and pick on one another if things are different. i have not had any problems with it, the cleaning, getting infection, having to have it redone. after it was done the dr said that they had no problems and they boys weren't in any pain when i got them back to the room. two of them even slept threw getting the numbing shots. they said the younger they are the easier it is to do it. two of them had the "ring" the other two did not. there is no differnce in looks to either way. but what ever choice you make is your choice. talk to your ped dr and they can give you the plus and down side of either choice and go from there. good luck and congrats on the little one!

We have two sons who are both circumsized. We decided to do it for several reasons. First of all dad is. Second, easier to keep clean. I worked in a nursing home, and a few of the older guys that were not always had issues with keeping it clean and preventing infection. I have also heard that sometimes they have to be circumsized later due to infections. Also increased issues when sexually active with spreading and getting a STD, so I hear. Plus it is so much easier to do when they are newborn. Yes it does cause a little discomfort, but they do not remember it and then it is done, less traumatic.

I know that the trend is now moving the other way on this one. But I guess you should weigh how your son might feel down the road. This is a hard one, there isn't really a right or wrong answer, just personal preference.

A.,
First of all Congrats on the upcoming addition to your family!

On your question: It is certainly a personal family choice whether to have your child circ'ed or not.

I have assisted with many circ procedures. I am a Nursing Assistant on an OB floor. The dr's at my hospital are required to use a nerve block anestetic and are required to use sugar water as a pain control. Some also give tylenol before the procedure gets underway. My sister is an RN on an OB floor in a different hospital from me, and her dr.'s are required to do tylenol, nerve block and sugar water for all circumcision's performed.

I just wanted to warn you that the research websites seem to be either very for circumcision or very against it. Those against it may be going for the shock and amaze type of approach with their video's. I checked out some of the video's online about circ procedure's. In most of these video's the dr is not using any anestetic. Which is the way circ's used to be done, and some may still be. In my experience assiting with many circ's (with nerve block and sugar water), I have NEVER had a baby boy cry like the baby's in these video's during a circumcision. (The procedure is the same, but with anestetic.)

My advice would be to talk to your dr. or pediatrician that would be performing a circ. procedure on your child to find out what their standard of care is. I did have my own son circ'ed, but I am rather neutral on the subject. I just wanted to give you a bit of my experience knowledge of the procedure. Whatever you choose, I hope this info helps.

V.

It's really a very personal decision. My husband is; our son is not. After reading a couple articles my brother & sis-in-law had forwarded to me, we decided it really didn't matter if he "looked like dad" or not. We've had no troubles and would make the same decision if we have another son some day. Good luck on your decision.