To Quit My Job?

Updated on April 28, 2009
S.V. asks from Denver, CO
6 answers

I have been a paralegal for the past 6 years. Once I had my little one I didn't go back to work full time. I chose to only work two days per week and I watch a great little guy the other three days per week.

I chose to only work part time so that I can spend more time with my kids which would also allow me to keep my foot in the door in the legal community. This was a hard field for me to get into and I didn’t want to give up all of my hard work. Not to mention this still allowed me to have some sort of adult conversations once in a while. My plan was to return to work full time when my youngest started school. I only have a couple more years left and they go by so fast.

However, I have been pretty unhappy since I came back to work – even thought it is only two days per week. Attorneys are not the easiest people to work for. I work in a small office and I had all of the attorneys “trained” so to speak. They knew what I expected of them and I knew what they expected of me. All of that hard work went down the drain because the girl that replaced me really tried to cater to them – and I warned her not too. Now it is so bad that if she doesn’t wash their coffee cups then they will come in and throw a tantrum because they had to do it. One of the attorneys here will literally scream at her because, he believes, his stuff is top priority and should always be prepared before anyone else. He speaks to her in a very degrading way; implying that she is stupid and so on. One day I actually came into my office and it had been ransacked. It was so bad that I took pictures of it in case something was missing.

I, on the other hand, have started to stand up for myself. I will not tolerate getting yelled at. So I have, on occasion, screamed and yelled back. I have flat out told him to quit being rude and grow some manners. There have been times when I have been so upset that he did apologize. I have had meetings with the boss/owner of the law firm but to no avail. He is just one of those people who doesn’t like to deal with conflict and will look the other way. Yes, he is an attorney too. Nothing ever gets said or fixed about the problems.

There is another paralegal in the office who prepares payroll. She prepares the checks on a different day every pay period. So there is no set day that my time needs to be sent to her. She will usually send an email to everyone to turn in their time so that she can prepare payroll. Then one day she decides that she is no longer going to send me an email but only send an email to the main office email. So, needless to say, I didn’t get the email that day and she refused to mail me my check. But it gets better…Instead of telling me that she missed my time, she went to the boss/owner so that he could write me a nasty note on a copy of my paystub and once my time was received she would mail my check.

I have had other issues from vacation time discrepancies to no raises for the past 3 ½ years and on and on. When I was pregnant I made a point to schedule my appts early so that I didn’t miss work and I don’t take much of my VA time because I use that when my kids are sick. Then at the end of the year, I asked to take Christmas Eve off because everyone else in the office was out of town except me. He told me that I didn’t have any VA time left because he and the other paralegal decided that I used all of that and my sick time on my maternity leave. (Unused sick time is to be paid out as your bonus at the end of the year.) They failed to tell me this when the decision was made and I didn’t find out until I asked about it for that day at the end of the year.

So here is my question. I am seriously considering quitting my job. I am to the point where I am not sure if working for attorneys for the rest of my life is what I want to do. Do you think that it is really hard to get back into the workforce once you have been out for a couple of years being a mommy? Should I just suck it up and keep on trucking along like I have been doing? Financially, after daycare, I am making about $225 extra per month. So the money isn’t that big of a deal. This is really a hard decision so what are your thoughts?

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Sounds like a crappy place to work. Maybe find a new law firm to work for where it is bigger and easier for you?
With your experience I would think you could find another place that is more "you".
Nobody should deal with the stress like that! That is abusive and wrong.

I think it is awesome you are doing this part time! Kudos.
I quit my job when I had my daughter, then had my son. Now I am divorced and after being out of the workforce getting a lot of cold shoulders for being at home for seven years. It is heart wrenching as I know what I have to offer but right now with the economy as it is, me being the end of the potential list for sure. I HAVE to go back to work in the fall, which is great as my kids both will be in school fulltime and have not regretted being here for them at all, I have been blessed being home with them and love it. I just know once you get out, the world is really prejudice about going back in vs someone that never left the working world.

You need to decide if you are doing it for money or for just some adult interaction and keeping yourself in the working loop. You can be a contract paralegal and work from your home, you could do legal transcription from home, all sorts of things in your field without going into the "corporate" b.s.
I am not going to say quit, because that has to be on you and you have to really think hard.

I think it is important for kids to see parents happy and if you aren't happy doing this then it isn't for you.
If you are happy having a little piece of life that is yours that you worked hard for then apply at a different legal firm and try something else in the same field.
But to answer your question, it is extremely hard to get back into corporate america after being out as a SAHM. There is some taboo I think...like I having been here without a brain and doing nothing. I have managed a home, organized schedules and ran my own child care business out of my home, but still I have sent in 10 resumes in three weeks without one response back....I am on month six of actively looking, nothing...
Good luck, just think what will make you happiest as ultimately that is the most important thing for the whole family.
Keeping your foot in the door speaks volumes later though!

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

Paralegal training is something you don't want to lose and it sounds as though if conditions were right you'd enjoy your job a lot more. I vote for staying with the paralegal gig and find a new company that still needs part time help. They are out there.

As you said in a couple short years the kids will be in school and you'll be ready for a full time position. However, two years away from the legal field is a looooong time. Every month away is less compensation and more work to find a new job. It's commendable to stay home with your kids; I'm a firm believer that you have kids to raise them and not hand them off to someone else. However you have to look down the road to take care of yourself too. GL with your decision!!!!

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

OMG!! Leave!!! You are putting up with all of that for $225 a month?? Trust me - I left the legal profession 10 years ago, for many of the same problems - I did not need that while trying to be a new mom. Now my kids are finally old enough that I can consider returning to the work force. I would probably have trouble getting a job if I just tried to return to where I was ten years ago. But I have learned so much more about myself, and my skills, and my interests. I am pursuing entrepreneurship ideas, and I am really excited about the opportunities that I can create for myself (even if it is sometimes a bit daunting).

Life is too short to put up with that kind of behavior and negativity. You don't want to be in that kind of space while raising your kids if you don't absolutely have to be. PLEASE beleive me that you will find opportunities for fulfillment (financially and socially) as the years go on, but none of those opportunities can present themselves to you while you are consumed by this current situation. I am just so glad you said that the money isn't a reason to stay, so that I can really encourage you to leave that B.S. behind!! Good luck, and keep us posted!!

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M.G.

answers from Denver on

$225 extra a month is not worth the headache or time away from the kids. Just quit. You can look around and find something that you love.

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C.H.

answers from Denver on

Quit!! For sure, you will never regret that but you will regret being upset all the time, even when you are with your kids becasue of the headaches.
You will be able to get back into the workforce later and can deal with any new training needed later. Plus you may find another part time gig that you like even more in the meantime.
Quit and enjoy your kids!!

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N.J.

answers from Denver on

S.,
You sound really unhappy at your job. I say quit and stay home to run a daycare so you can be home with your youngest. I have 3 kids and that is what I am doing. I am on the last leg to getting my daycare license. You will get more money staying home doing daycare and you will be happier.
When you are home, hone down on your skills so that when you go back to work you aren't out of the loop. Good luck.

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