Too Clingy!

My kids become clingy when they don't feel good. He may be getting his back teeth.
Give it time it will pass.

Good morning K., I would guess that your son learned while he was ill that the whinning got your attention. If it worked then maybe it will keep on working. Just ignor him, or you will inforce the negative behavior. When he stops whinning and is playing my himself give him your attention. Talk to him and praise him. If he responds with the bad behavior walk away and ignor him again. He will learn fast how to get your attention. This is what all kids want and need from their parents. It will set up a healthy foundation for his future. Good luck.

My son (who is 2 now) was the exact same way at 14 months. I would work out for a half hour and have a babysitter watch him and he'd cry the whole time I was gone. I was really scared that he'd be that way for a long time, but he grew out of it within a couple of months. I think they have a little separation anxiety at that age, but don't worry, it'll end. One thing I started doing is having him help me with things, like putting away dishes from the dishwasher, cleaning the counters (with baby wipes or a washcloth), vacuuming with a toy vaccum, doing the laundry (putting it in the machine with me)...and he loved it. We stressed what a "helper" he was and now he still likes helping. He also got into "cooking" at that age...I'd give him a pot and a spoon and he'd stir it around. Now, he's downstairs at his kitchen set cooking on his own. That's not to say he doesn't still go through periods of neediness, but I just try to cherish those moments and know that I'll miss his snuggles at some point when he doesn't want to offer them anymore. Best of luck to you. :)

this is "separation anxiety" which kicks in about 15 months. Your child does not understand that you still exist.... they are totally"out of sight, out of mind." and panic. They will be clingy till they understand that you can exist when they can't see you. Peek-a -boo and where's the toy hidden under the blanket games will help.But this is a normal stage... and it lasts a few months. Hang in there.L.

K.,

It sounds like the ordeal of his tubes being done has shaken his secruity that you or dad will be there when he needs you. He might just need some reassurance (lots of it right now to start) If he was awake when you were separated or if he woke up before you were there it might take a bit longer. I think that both were true with my daughter. They brought her right out to us, but she woke up to strangers around her. It was troubling to her and took a little bit for her to realize that mom and dad were still there when she needed us. For a day or two, I did lots of cuddling and playing with her when she needed, then I started 'weaning' it down to a hug and told her to play with something close to me as I worked on getting something done. Those hugs were real frequent at first because she thought I'd start holding and cuddling again, but we eventually got to where I could alternate between playing by me to playing with a sister (she has 3 of them) As she was playing by me, I would occasionally comment on what she was doing or reach down to touch her or one of the toys to show her that I was paying some attention and was involved.
With Kristen I think that it was a combination of the strange place, people being around her when she went to sleep and different people being around her when she woke up, and not knowing what heppened in between that disturbed her. She didn't seem horrified by ant single part of the process, but in the end, she was insecure again. I think that part of it was being afraid that it would happen again. Getting her back into familiar places and familiar routines helped a lot! But it took a few days for each step to help.

Good luck!! Great news on the success of the tubes! and mu house is praying for yours.

M.
mom to 4 girls ages 5 to 10 and their daddy.

K.-

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Let dad spends some "buddy" time with him. I think this will help all of you. Take care.

It's a phase.. sep. anxiety got much worse for my son at this age. I'd suggest Dr. Sears books about Attachment parenting.. try getting a backpack.. like an ERGO or BECCO carrier and you can carry him while you still get things done.

K.,
My 16 month old son is all of a sudden very clingy too and turns out he is just now getting his one year molars. Poor guy just doesn't feel good! Could your son be teething?

I'd tend to his emotional needs and hope it doesn't last too long. Try to give him enough positive attention before he starts falling apart. He may be tired, teething, adjusting to the tubes or your being home full time now, or it may just be a developmental phase. I definitely wouldn't ignore it but I'd try to make his days as positive as I could so you don't get into a negative pattern where he cries & you resentfully pick him up over and over all day. He can't verbalize what's wrong and is frustrated. Change his routine so you're both feeling better. This will pass, especially if you can keep your sense of humor and help him feel that you are there for him and care about his feelings. Something is causing this and negative attention is very tempting to kids when they feel they're failing to get their needs met, even if it's not really true but only their perception. He's growing and changing every day so I doubt it will last long. Hang in there, Mom! One day he'll be graduating from high school and this will be a dim memory!

I'm thinking, it may simply be that because you are home with him more, that he is seeking your attention since it's something he's not used to. ?I could be wrong but maybe try taking regular "play-time" breaks with him during the day. Even set up a schedule of things to do each day with play time in between the larger tasks, that way time with your son is an important item on your agenda and he can see that it is.
Hope this helps some,

its a phase and it will pass :)

In her book "You Are Your Child's First Teacher," early childhood educator Rahima Baldwin Dancy talks about phases where a child may become "clingy" or "needy" and it is just a sign that they are about to have a new burst of independence or accomplish something new. Be patient, be there for your son, comfort him because you are his world. It is a very short time in the larger scheme.
I think you would really benefit from the book, also, as you are a teacher. It is thorough, and easy to read by the manner in which the chapters are organized. I highly recommend it, and it gives you a lot of great references and ideas.
Enjoy your time at home with your baby - how special it is!

(and possibly the tubes ARE bothering him. how would you feel with them in YOUR ears?)

this is a phase.

my daughter went through this too.

she would hang on my leg and cry while I tried to cook dinner.

you can pick him up or ignore him

but most likely it will go away in time and he will be back to his old self.

he could be getting a tooth -- check his mouth.. often when my kid are whiny they are teething.

It's funny that you posted this. I was just going to post the same thing today. My daughter will be 1 year this week and she is doing the same thing. We had her birthday party on Saturday and it was embarrasing because everytime she saw me (if someone else was holding her), she would wine to come to me. Then, of course I get blamed for it, because I pick her up. I don't know what to do either. I can't move in the house without her following me and whining to be picked up. So please, if you get any good advice, let me know!

My 14 month old daughter recently just got very clingy to me as well. I have found that if she wants to be held a lot I will hold her and then she gets too interested in something new. Attention span is very short right now. I would just be there for your son and do what you think is right. Try letting him be by you and get him interested in something else. My daughter often wants me to hold her when I am making dinner and have found that giving her a pan and spoon on the floor keeps her interest for a little while cause she thinks she is helping. Just love that baby up while he still wants to hug you :-) - J.

Hi K. -

My son (now 18 months) goes through phases with this. But, I remember vividly a very rough 2 week period about 2 months ago. He would stand at my legs and whine...especially in the kitchen. He is very sensitive, so he does this more than some other kids do.

I am a full-time SAHM who always sets aside multiple times through out the day to dedicate my full attention to him. Playing inside or outside and not doing anything else. So he has plenty of time with me, but I think sometimes they just go through phases where they need more for whatever reason...teeth, not feeling well, maybe being a little overtired..who knows! What worked for us was that I would stop what I was doing and bend down and acknowledge that he was upset about something. Ignoring him just made it worse and continue longer and logically it kind of makes sense. If you were talking to your husband and he wasn't responding at all, you would talk louder and get angry and assume he was just ignorning what you had to say (LOL). On the same note, I do understand that sometimes if you give them the attention they seek while whining, it reinforces the behavior - like all situations...catch 22! Then I would try to redirect his attention to something else near me (like someone else said pots and pans etc.). If that didn't work I would acknowledge him and then tell him I would pick him up once he was calm. Sometimes it helped for me to count with my fingers and the movement of my fingers would distract him enough to be quiet for a few moments. I would only pick him up once he was calm no longer whining. And I always remain very calm while going through the process (although sometimes inside you feel like you might explode!).

Every child/parent is different, but those are some of the techniques that worked best for us. It took a little while, but it has gotten MUCH better. We still have our days, but I think that is just the nature of kids!

Good luck. I am sure it will pass soon.

I've found with my sometimes clingy son that it usually lasts a few days and as long as I appease him (pick him up when he wants to be held, cuddle him, talk to him, play with him) during that time, it usually passes much more quickly. I think they get a little insecure with the idea of independence and need reassurance that you are still going to be there, no matter what. Ignoring him will send the message that his needs are not important, and I'm sure you don't want him to feel that way. Yes, it's a phase, and it will come and go. You just gotta roll with it! I know, easier said than done! But, you'll find some peace in those moments that he 'needs' you and you let yourself give in a little.