Transitioning from 2 to 3 Kids!!!

Updated on December 26, 2010
L.C. asks from Downers Grove, IL
8 answers

Im having my 3rd baby in a month or so and im wondering how other moms handled this. Was it overwhelming? Was it smooth? When i had my second child, it went pretty well. I didnt feel too overwhelmed, or if i did it was only for a short time. I try to stay as organized as possible, but that gets difficult with 2 kids. They are 2.5 and 5 years. Is the 3rd easier or is it total chaos? Im a little nervous. Any tips?

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So What Happened?

I agree the first baby was the hardest adjustment. What a wake up call. I guess im nervous because im just so so exhausted being pregnant and taking care of the 2 i already have, and my husband works long hours and travels. So he is not here to help. I hope to have some more energy when the baby is born, and sleeping through the night. Maybe i wont be so anxious about everything getting done, laundry, dinners, cleaning, etc. Thanks for your replies.

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

I never had too much trouble transitioning when we had more kids. I just had my 4th a few months ago. After the first is born you learn to multitask pretty quickly, and for me the adjustment was quicker each time. I probably had the hardest time adjusting to my first because I was simply not aware how much my time would no longer be my own. Just try to anticipate needs as much as possible before feedings and include the older ones as much as possible. When the baby naps spend a little alone time with the older ones. Even "ask" the baby to wait while you help or play with either of your older ones, so they understand that everyone has to wait sometimes, not just them, but the baby too.
I think my biggest stress with 3 was getting in and out of the car in parking lots and such. You can't hold their hands and carry the baby too. Parking next to a cart corral became way more important to me than being close to the store itself. That way I could grab a cart and put the car seat in it and have a better handle on the older ones. Also when leaving the store it is easier to load up and get rid of the cart if you are right next to the corral.
Good luck and congrats on the new baby.

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W.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Your 5yo is not a toddler anymore. My sis had her 3rd (spacing was 15 m then 18 m apart) and it was definitely a challenge when she was loading the kids into the car or etc by herself, she took baby out of the car first (since it can't run!) then the older kids. Trained them as hard as she could not to run!

It should be just fine. Your 5yo, and even your 2.5 yo is even old enough to help, for example go get the wipes if you need it, stuff like that. Give them a special responsibility for being your 'big helper' ie, stay by the grocery cart and make sure it doesn't roll away (or whatever else you can think of, I'm sure you'll think of something better!)

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I just had my 3rd baby 6 months ago-A baby girl. I have a 7yr old son & 3yr old daughter as well. My 7yr old was not affected at all, so he didn't really have an affect on anything. My 3yr old, however, was a different story. She is a very demanding little girl. She is independent with playtime, however she does have her "look at me", "play with me", etc moments. And for her it was hard when I had to tell her to wait a few minutes if I was nursing, bathing, diapering, etc. I have been home with my 3yr old since the day she was born, though, so she has always received that kind of attention from me, and the fact of having another girl I think also made it a little more difficult for her. But, then at times, all she would want to do is help with her, so it can really go any direction with her.
I definitely wouldn't say it's overwhelming or difficult! My only suggestion would be to let the kids be as involved as they want to! Let them feel as though they are helping out!
Good luck & congrats on baby #3!

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

I'm pregnant with my 4th so I understand your concerns. I believe all mothers have this thought about how well we will adjust to one more added to the bunch. Honestly, I didn't notice a monumental difference with going from two to three...and this 4th one was completely unplanned.

Is it chaos? YES. It's busy...but you do what you have to do and you handle it. I think the age difference will make a difference for you because the 5 year old is school age, right? So, while the older one is in school, you'll still have 2 at home to care for. Not so bad. You'll do fine. We all do.

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K.E.

answers from Buffalo on

oh my dear, deep breathes, it all works out. Your kids are the same ages mine were, now 7,4, 17months. Your 5 yr old will be great help. Your 2.5 yr old will want to help too, my middle surprised my by changing a diaper unassisted, who knew he could do that. Just antisipate needs of the older kids before the baby needs feeding or a long length of your time. Put snacks and drinks easly reachable for the 5 yr old to grab for you if needed. Potty everyone before feedings so "Mommy I need to go potty" is not an issue, if you bottlefeed then the older kids will be of great help, et them take a feeding or 2.

It really flows nicely.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Our 3rd baby is 10 weeks old and I am really surprised how easy the transition was. I am already (almost :)) ready for the 4th:)

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

We have 3 and a 4th on the way. Go ahead, laugh out loud, I do everyday. ;)

In all seriousness...the initial transition was hard for us and everyone would tell me it was easy. Looking back, I would tell you it was easy as well. Just like ANY change, you have to find a new balance.

Our kids are just recently 8, 4.5 and 2.5. We homeschool and I own a local business, so I work four 1/2-3/4 days. My husband runs my office, so we are gone together and home together.

The biggest thing is to get help in the initial weeks to allow you some space. AND even bigger? Time alone. A facial every 2-3 weeks and a massage every other week does WONDERS for being a patient mom and a loving wife. 1 hour nearly every week alone keeps me sane. 1 hour - that's it. Most moms don't take that much time and they need to.

Get the kids involved with helping with the baby. Our kids have chores...always have, so helping change diapers at 5 years old was just another thing to teach them. The younger one would help grab dipaer wipes and pick out clothes....even if they didn't match. LOL

You'll be fine. Take some time now to get life organized, because you're not going to get any more time later. ;)

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

I had my 3rd 7 months ago, and it isn't THAT bad, but it is harder than I thought it would be! My older 2 are older, 8 and 5, so they have alot of activities and sports to be taken to, besides school. So I am constantly on the go, and it is a little more difficult and time consuming with the baby in tow. Some days it is harder, some easier. My husbands help is HUGE, so that helps. I am figuring it out more and more as time goes by, and you will too! But after the first few weeks, I was definitely saying to myself that I thought it would be easier! lol You'll get the hang of it! Best wishes!

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