Trust Fund/ Only in Husbands Name and I Need to Sign off on House

I would not agree to anything that had my name being removed from my home or put me in the position of having to ask relatives for an allowance.

Wow, this sounds like a lot bigger problem than $. I would make an appointment with an therapist, pastor, someone trained to help couples having a hard time. Don't sign anything until you two sit down with a third party and sort this out, along with the control issues. Also, I would ask for the document and take it to a separate attorney and get some legal advice. Please get help as a couple and for you. You guys have a lot of kids depending on you.

If this is real you should know that seeing as you've already spoken with an attorney and you are not comfortable with the terms of this fund then why go through with it? Common sense should prevail in this case.

Because the attorney has already alerted you to the dangers of signing over the house, listen to him. If he can't represent you in this issue look into hiring your own. At the very least consult an attorney. Do not sign away your interest in the house.

If my husband were to suggest such a thing and would threaten to cancel his life insurance if I don't sign, I'd tell him that I'd file for divorce. Then I'd get an attorney to help me protect my shares of the matrimonial assets so that I could take care of the children.

Is your husband this controlling in other aspects of your life? He sounds like a petulant child who is not concerned at all with your or your children's well being. He wants to set up a trust fund to protect the money and he then threatens to close his life insurance which does the opposite. He's not making sense.

Soooo...he wants to control you when he's alive and he wants his *brothers* to control you when he's dead?

Sounds like you'd be setting yourself up for getting screwed here. There's got to be another way.

Sounds like your husband is planning something else. Especially since he said if you won't do it, he's going to cancel his insurance and "retire". Why does he want you to sign off on the house? Why do his brothers need to control your money?

Something weird is going on here. Get an attorney. Especially since I've only heard of trusts being for children or adults with mental illness.

I hope this is a joke post... because if not, this is an awful idea for you! First of all, there's no reason to set up a trust fund for an adult. Trust funds protect assets for minors or people who can't make their own decisions until they come of age. If you and your husband are serious about your financial future if he dies, you need a trust (not a trust fund). All of your assets should be put into the trust -- your house, life insurance, everything. And you should both be trustees. That way if either of you dies, the other inherits everything.

In Michigan, you don't have community property. That means if you sign away your house to this "trust fund", you would have no rights to it if you divorce. And if your brothers in law are the trustees, they could take all of the money legally and you'd be left with nothing. Please talk to an attorney who specializes in this. It would be just a few hundred dollars for a consult.

Why on earth would he require you to sign away your rights to the house? Is he hoping to cut your children out of any inheritance rights? Is he trying to set himself up for a new life without you?

Something smells rotten.

Don't sign a thing.

Get your own lawyer to review it all, then have a heart to heart with your husband and try to get inside his head. Does he have a pattern of trying to control you? Has he been stingy in the past? Does he have a warm and loving relationship with your children? Does he otherwise treat you with love and respect? I can't imagine that this strange request is coming out of no where, so I strongly urge you to reflect on the nature of your husband and of your marriage.

Well, I appreciate that the attorney called you. He doesn't want to get sued later on for malpractice. (Yes, there are lawyers who sue other lawyers - they do it for a living.)

If I were you, I'd get your own lawyer, show him or her this stuff, and ask him/her to help come up with a different scenario of a trust that protects you and is MORE FAIR. If your husband cares about you and if he isn't trying to screw you over, he should appreciate this.

Dawn

Hmmm, he wants to set up a "trust" that will be managed by other people after he dies, people you will have to ask for money to pay your bills and support yourself once his meager monthly allotment to you is expended.

Hmmmm, he wants you sign over your home to him. So you have no legal recourse in the disbursement of that asset - which means he can sell it out from under while you are both still alive. Which means after he dies, you will not have the right to live there, depending on who he leaves the house to in his will, as they could tell you to move.

Hmmm, something fishy exists here.

Two things come to mind - (1) he is planning on doing an end run around you and leaving the marriage, taking all liquid assets with him. (2) you are understating your fiscal acuity and he is concerned that you will splurge away every asset quickly and be left destitute after his death. But that doesn't explain the house.

See, the house is my sticking point in your post. A trust, or better yet a life annuity, dispersing his death benefits to you in even monthly sums makes sense...my Uncle did this for my Aunt, but she was also able to contact the annuity manager for payment of unexpected expenses - medical, etc. So she had free use of the assets left to her.

You need your own attorney to review all these "trust" documents. You need to, I think quickly, protect yourself. Something fishy is going on here.

Yea it sounds like his attorney thought he could screw you over at any given time too.

Advice...get your own attorney and run!

All I could even think when reading about the trust fund and signing over everything is "Oh, hell no."

You are not a child nor are you a mentally incapacitated adult. Please do not allow yourself to be treated as if you were.

Dear S., the fact that attorney called you to make sure you understand means he wanted to be sure you are OK with this crazy plan. Do not sign off the house at any circumstances. If your husband threatens you that he will cancel insurance tell him you do not care, by the sound of him, he will not do it, he counts every penny, he only looking for ways to bully you into doing what he wants. Do not get into any trusts, by law, if he dies, you are entitled to everything he owns even if he leaves a will that states otherwise. That is why he is trying to get around that with the trust. You can challenge the will in the court and sue and win from his brothers. Sounds like a heck of the controlling SOB -stay strong girl! The law is on your side now, just say, no, say you are not comfortable with the idea. What does he care what you do with the money after he is dead? He will not be there!
Do what Dawn said, I absolutely agree with her suggestion.

wow, he's both horribly controlling and really contemptuous of you!
i'm so sorry.
the premise is bad enough, but threatening tot cancel his life insurance if you don't toe the line and submit to his demands?
absolutely not. keep working with him to find a middle ground, one that recognizes you as a sentient, competent human being.
khairete
S.

Seems fishy to me. He has a lawyer, you get one to explain this to you. Have your husband with you. Plus, if my hubby said that to me I would question why is he setting this up so I would have nothing. mmmmmm

That is very odd. I have my trust which legally distributes our home to my husband and then my kids. It runs through the trust because it was an asset that I owned before I was married and although the trust makes it clear that he owns the home if something happens to me it can only go to the kids when he dies. Both our names are also on the title, well and the trust. Trusts are like corporations, they have people status for legal issues so it can be on the deed just like we are.

I guess I am saying you need a more creative attorney to draw up your trust. I my attorney can pull this off surely there is one in your area that can as well. Real property is covered by federal laws so there should be no difference in this area regardless of state you live in.

No. You are a grown woman, this is 2013, not 1813. You don't need a man to tell you how to spend your own money.

WOW!! Red flags are all over this!!! Sounds to me like he's already got someone on the side and you're going to end up penniless and homeless!

I would definitely not sign anything AND I would get a lawyer to look over any paperwork before signing anything in the future!!

Good luck!!!

Dear S.,

Please consider making your own plans. Take some money now, and open an account in just your name - make sure you have something. Get a credit card in just your name if you don't already have one. Is your car titled jointly? Or in your husband's name? I always recommend that each spouse title their car in their own name and not jointly.

I agree, do not agree to this. Perhaps you could meet with your husband's financial advisor and attorney so that he feels that you have some financial allys on your side. I am a financial advisor and work with many women who are not as financially well educated as they should be...Would your huband be more comfortable if you educated yourself?

There are so many reasons to not do this...first, it is totally ridiculous for you to sign the house over to him - he is DEFINATELY trying to take advantage of you. Second, if he sets a monthly amount and we enter a period of high inflation (think 15-20% per year) than it is very likely that your monthly allowance from the grave will NOT cover your expenses. Third, if you should wish to remarry after you have enjoyed widowhood, I am certain this would cut you off.

Please, please do not get taken advantage of...your husband sounds like a control freak and a sexist. Get some financial education and get it fast. Get your own lawyer if need be. You may need a divorce!

C.

Lots of red flags...and the ultimatum? Something is not right!

S., you're right to be concerned. Your husband is trying to emotionally blackmail you into doing something foolish. His motives are highly suspect. Thank goodness that his attorney seems to be a good person. I suggest you get your own lawyer to comb over these documents and possibly to have a look into your husband's other dealings.

If your husband hasn't always been this way, there may be a medical issue going on that is impacting his mental capabilities. You need to explore that as well. In any case, don't sign.

Heck to the NO...don't sign!!! Talk to your own legal representative. Heck...your husband's attorney knows this is not financially sound for YOU. DO NOT SIGN!! DO NOT SIGN!!

Your husband does not sound like he trusts you. But in turn I would not trust him if he talks to you this way. If he really loves you..and cares about you and your life if he were to die then he would continue that life insurance and keep working...and have both of your names on the house. He is bullying you and threatening you if you don't sign....red flag..red flag!!

I am sorry you are feeling bullied by your husband. Yes..marriage is a loving commitment between you,your spouse and God...BUT it is also a civil, business binding contract to take care of everyone's physical temporal needs (housing,clothing,food) as well as to protect personal assets.

Don't sign. This is not a smart choice for YOU and your dozen kids....don't let him make you feel insecure about your financial choices. Don't let him make you feel inferior due to having a big,charitable heart. Don't sign S.!! Trust your gut....your heart...and the attorney.

What the? NO WAY would I ever agree to this. We have a trust and both of our names are on it. Yeah, he could 'screw you over at any time' and perhaps that is his intent! He's pulling some major funny business on this one.

Definitely do not agree to this in any way, shape or form.

Absolutely not, seek independent legal counsel to form an approriate trust, perhaps one that limits either party from excessive withdrawls in a year. Ownership of property spelled in trust to be legally divided equally in the event of disolution of marriage and in the event of spousal death a the entire control goes to surviving spouse with a poa statement and distribution to children on death with percentages. Signing over my life and being akept woman...no way.

I'm in agreement with others that say get your own legal representation to guide you through this process as well as have a plan for what you are going to do if your husband dies before you.

His intention doesn't sound loving or caring. Besides when people die those in charge of the money sometimes do what they want to do especially if you have no financial resources to fight their inappropriate decisions.

You may also want to let your husband know that his brother may not outlive him or you then what?

Essentially I don't like him trying to control your inheritance from the grave. I would lean towards telling him thank you but no thank you. I will fend for myself and make the needed plans to do that.

I might not have had a problem, since you have 12 kids, you might need protection. But when he did the threat of not working hard and canceling insurance, it makes me understand that YOUR well being is not his main concern, control is his main concern. That would be the point I drive home with him. Don't do it. You have a number of years to make plans. There is no pressing rush to make this move.
Say, I am not comfortable making that decision right now. Let's revisit this in a year. And stick to it. Talk to your most responsible, yet loving child.

I think you have some good advice already given. Just in reading your post, the first thing that crossed my mind was "He has a girlfriend or is thinking of leaving for another reason and he is setting things up so he has everything in his name so that when he leaves it is easier on him".

You also need to know that I am going through a divorce and that may be coloring my opinion. I am not terribly fond of men right now, and feel that almost all of the men I know are always watching out for themselves first. I don't trust any of them!

BIG RED FLAGS! Please listen to the advice to get your own legal representation- find a lawyer to represent YOU and your interests. His plan could be very bad for you!

I don't know how you "sign off on your house" if you are both on the mortgage. But in any case, I would NOT sign away my ownership interest in the home. That is absolutely crazy and I don't see any need for you to do that. The attorney called you because he is concerned and probably also doesn't think it's a good idea, but probably can't really come right out and say that because he doesn't want to make your hubby mad. If he does, hubby can simply use another attorney.

I don't know what your hubby's motivation is, but if I were you, I would seek my own legal advice. I'm not sure that your best interests are being looked after.

BTW, if you take your name off the house, YOUR children will have no right to inherit any portion of it upon your death.

Get good solid legal advice from a lawyer of your choosing without hubby being present. It's the ONLY way you can be sure that what you do or don't do is in your best interests.

Something doesn't sound quite loving and logical, as most have pointed out.

However, to be fair to your husband's concerns, he is right. Many widows lose touch with their finances and squander their savings. I have seen it happen countless times. Ask any investment planner or realtor and they will tell you that many women go into extreme depression after the loss of a spouse, and do not ever become good stewards of their money.

Less than 10 years ago, my sister's MIL and FIL divorced. He set her up in Newport Beach, CA in a $3 million home over looking the beach with a beautiful Mercdes, and another $3 million in savings. She suffered a brain aneurysm, did not recover her faculties very well, became very secretive about her $$ and squandered ALL of it in stupid tele-marketing schemes, and those ridiculous bank emails from Nigeria. It is beyond sad and she now has nothing. Nothing. She is working PT, minimum wage, at a bath store and they totally take advantage of her lack of common sense, and no one in the family has any influence over her decisions.

What is bothersome in your story, is that your husband is actually threatening you with canceling life insurance. Wow...that does seem low and uber controlling. But is that his way of retaining what he thinks is absolutely essential and important for your financial future?

I think you should both consider a compromise, and at a minimum, there should be a fair and generous monthly distribution to you without having to gain approval from his brothers. You could agree to their input on financial decisions in excess of $______( fill in the blank).

Get your own attorney...because you are right it does sound like he can "screw" you over...

DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING!!! Until you read all the papers and take them to be reviewed by your own independent attorney.

When my mother died her estate went into trust for me and my siblings until my father died...he can use the money/income from property, etc any way he sees fit...BUT cannot sell our assets.

It does not sound like it is a good thing...

This sounds very wrong. If the money we are discussing is that which you as a couple acquired during the marriage (no prenup and no family inheritance), than it all belongs to both of you. You might set up a trust for a minor child (we have) but your own money should NOT be in trust for you with someone else as the executor. You both need to sit down together with an attorney who can answer all your questions. But do NOT sign away your house.

I would do research on the benefits and ins/outs of it. Years ago we did put our house in a trust fund. My current dwelling is in a trust fund. I think there are tax benefits to doing it. Again, research and make sure. I don't think there's anything that puts power of attorney in your inlaws' names that you're beholden to them.
Personally what your husband is telling you sounds like half a** information and he's uninformed. Or at worse he's trying to pull one over on you. His remark about his life insurance doesn't sound real cushy either. Protect yourself. If your gut instinct is sending you warning bells, listen and get some legal advice. Cancelling his life ins. if you don't do what he says sounds like blackmail to me. I think he has ulterior motives. Sorry to say that but this appears bogus. Trust funds have their benefits. But I think you're getting a convoluted song and dance.
And what's with his brothers???? I mean if you have grandkids, aren't any of your kids able to be your power of attorney? And maybe help you in the event that dad kicks off?
I would 't sign. If he's this condescending and controlling, I don't think you'd be suffering from depression in the event of his death. Therefore I don't believe you'd be so mentally 'off' that you'd squander every last dime. I think you already are aware he's got hidden agendas and to realize that, you're mentally sound and your instincts are working just fine. Cover your own butt, get good legal advice, start making your own nest egg with assets. If there's something sleezy going on on his part, I would by all means, after good legal advice, do what he wants either to a certain point or make him think he's getting his way but when push comes to shove, he's not. A legal counsel could advise you how to turn the tables and I have a feeling that's exactly what it would come down to. WILL come down to.

When married the two become one. You are not married to his brothers your married to him. Everything in the marriage should be owned jointly. It is yours together. It all sounds fishy to me and If he wants to retire, then tell him to retire. Then you can spend even more time together. I would rather have time with my husband than money anyway.

After 18 years do you really truly believe that your husband would screw you over?

The best thing for you to do is talk this over with your attorney. We are not professionals and can not begin to unravel your personal finances and what would be best for you by just what you posted.

I trust my husband and put my whole heart and trust in him for proving for me in the event of his death!