TTC With Problems...

Be patient. 6 months of trying is not an abnormal amount of time. Most doctors won't even consider the possibility of a problem unless you have been trying for a year or longer.

Chances are outstanding that there is nothing wrong. (You don't mention how old you are, though. If you're over 35 it can take longer to get pregnant.) Six months of trying is not a very long time - especially considering that your body endured a miscarriage. One year of trying - maybe. But six months? That's a blink of an eye. (Plus, you say you are "REALLY" trying - so I'm guessing that means you and your hubby are very, very active . . . this does not necessarily increase your chances to conceive because he will be more "potent" if he has time to recharge between efforts. If you're still not pregnant after a year, then you should mention to your doctor that you are concerned about your fertility. Then you can have all of the uncomfortable and invasive tests to check all of this.

Fertility drugs are expensive and not much fun - TRUST ME. You don't want to go down this route unless there's no other option.

You mentioned in your profile that you currently work full time but "hope to be able to stay home with my kids one day." Perhaps the delay in your second pregnancy is really an opportunity for you to get everything in order so you can stay home with the new baby?

I'm sure babies #2 and #3 are in your future! Just hang in there!

Hi M.,

It sounds like you have a lot going on while trying to concieve. I feel for you there. I can say this, the more impatient you are, the longer things take. You have probably learned this. :) Our bodies were designed to be reactive to emotion, both positive and negative. So, do what you can to be patient. That can be challenging I know. :)

I am not sure how old you are, but many times it can take more time than you think for your body to recover from a pregnancy as well as a miscarriage. We started trying a while back, had a couple miscarriages and decided to stop for a while. We are eager to grow our family as well. :)Hope to have 4 or 5 kids. :) We have been using acupuncture and herbal treatments to heal the uterus. But have tried no fertility drugs at this point due to the side effects for us. Most people I have talked to say that the drugs actually can cause more long term problems than not using them can.

Also, don't know if you are spiritual, but giving it to God can assist with feeling impatient. We have done that, and gotten clues that we need to wait until our daughter is at least 2 and a half or three to try again. All things happen in God's timing and if we try to push things to happen, we can get in the way of His plan. Those are my thoughts. I struggle with patience too. So, believe me, you are not alone. :)Just do what you can to find peace within and I bet you have a child in no time. :)

Blessings,

K. S.

I didn't read all the other responses, so please forgive me if I'm redundant.

Pick up a copy of the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. I've recommended it to several freinds who were having trouble conceiving, and every one of them is either pregnant or a new mother. Assuming there are no physical problems, if you follow the charting advice in this book, you're almost sure to get pg.

About your Dr...most docs won't even start to look into fertility drugs for someone your age until they have been actively trying (ie: charting) for at least a year. Fertility drugs have a lot of side effects and it would be bad medicine for your Dr. to give them to you just for convenience. It has nothing to do with her being old fashioned. Lots of people these days just want to pop a pill to fix their problems, without doing any acutal work. Unfortunately, in this case you'll have to suck it up and do some work.

Good luck to you, and I hope the next time we hear from you it'll be with news of another positive pg test!

Generally speaking I believe that most doctors want you to try a year before doing the testing and drugs. Your body may not be ready due to the recent miscarriage. Personally I would wait it out for at least a year of trying. However, if you really feel that you need to be checked out and perhaps need some help, ask your Dr. If he/she doesn't seem to want to oblige then find another one and get a second opinion. The worst case scenario is that they both will tell you to wait it out.

I too have a two year old and am due with a second on the 2nd of Feb. both are a result of years of fertility treatment and donor insemination. I can tell you from experience that going to get tested and getting the fertility drugs is very costly, not to mention time consuming and stressful, so keep that in mind when you are looking at your options. The first time I got pregnant it took a full year of testing and taking drugs before I even reached the point of insemination. We lucked out and got pregnant with the first insemination. The second time I had to be inseminated about 6 times to conceive while on fertility drugs and it took about a year and half to get through the whole process. So fertility drugs and treatment can take time too.

This can be very stressful and if it is for you that may be the very thing that is working against you. Try your best to stay relaxed. Many couples who give up on trying get pregnant shortly after because they allow themselves a break from the pressure and the stress.

Best wishes!

M., you and your partner call the shots on this one. If you are ready to try fertility meds to push along your efforts with baby #2, then by all means go for it. I absolutely do not think you are selfish for wanting another kiddo sooner than later. If your Dr. balks at your inquiries abouts fertility meds maybe (unfortunately) that means you need to work with another Dr. But it is your family plan and by all means go for it!

It can be helpful to go to a fertility specialist. Please, attempt to find the best possible one in your travel range. A friend of mine, about your age, had several miscarriages between her 1st and 2nd child. I told her if you are really serious about conceiving go to a specialist. She was tested, she was found to have hypo-thyroid problems - those were easily solved with medication and she conceived immediately thereafter. I conceived my first child, 10 years ago, at the age of 41 through in-vitro. Do not ever think that you will never have a child. There is so much that modern medicine can do today.

Hi there --
It took us awhile to get pregnant. Looking back, a lot of it had to do with schedules,stress, and timing I think.

Both myself and a friend of mine were struggling around the same time and our doctor's both suggested trying the over the counter ovulation kits. I had read that they were expensive and didn't work so I was leary until my doctor suggested trying that as a first step. My friend was successful the first try, we were the second time. My humble opinion is that well worth the $30 for them opposed to fertility treatments which can get expensive.

I also understand the fear of talking to your doctor that there might be something wrong, I was too and I am not getting any younger, but that is what they are there for. My doctor was very sympathetic and understanding to my fears and concerns about it once I finally talked to her about it -- and two months later I was pregnant!!

Hope that helps! TC

Hi - I would think about finding a new doctor maybe..I am surprised that she would not be suggesting starting to check to see what might be wrong. For me, I had a blocked tube the first time we were trying to get pregnant, and I am so glad we found out. The second time we tried for almost a year with fertility treatments and finally got pregnant. I dont think you are being selfish at all! It could take a while to get pregnant, you just never know. I would bring it up to your doctor and if she is not supportive, then I would think about going elsewhere. My doctor was the one that told me that if after trying for 3 months and nothing happened, then we would go to the next step...she was very supportive.You need to have that support there! I went through fertility treatments and finally got pregnant through insemination the second time. But again, it took almost a year. Try and relax though because stress can really mess things up. Pray as well!

Hey there - It sounds like to me that you want it so bad and your body is responding to it. Your mind and body is stressed out and not wanting to conceive. You conceived Kyler naturally - so, I don't think that you would have any problems conceiving. Again, I don't know what is your age either. I'd say just relax and let nature take its course. I have had friends that tried and tried and tried and then when they were about to give up or go into a fertility clinic - bam they were pregnant. I don't know if you guys drink - but hey - have a wild or romantic night together and throw everything out the door and see what happens. Best thing I can is - Relax. Good luck - you guys are fine.

First off, I want to let you know that I am sorry for your loss. Hubby and I TTC for 2 years before we got pregnant (I have PCOS), but unfortunately, I miscarried. I feel your pain and fears and frustration of loosing your 2nd child. Only you know just what you're going through, and those of us who have lost can somewhat identify. A year later to the date of my miscarriage, our beautiful daughter was born. I love her so much, but I still wonder what and who the other baby would have been had I carried it to full term. I wasn't expecting to be preggo so soon after my miscarriage, but I know it was meant to happen. Good luck to you and your hubby and I wish you good fertility and healing for your loss.

Hi M., my brother and sister-in-law had the same problem. She went to acupunture, a more natural way of bettering the odds without using any fertility drugs. She had to regulate her diet a little. She did it for almost a year and they just gave birth to there 8lb. baby boy 2 days ago. If you are not comfortable with your doctor, I suggest finding a new one. It is very important your doctor is non judgemental, you need all the positive support you can get during this time...

My advise is not to give up, but to be grateful for the child you have. I have been trying to get pregnant for over 3 years now. I havent had any miscarriages. I have taken all the tests and so has my husband. We are healthy and normal the doctors say. They can not find any reason why we cant get pregnant. I took clomid and we did 4 sessions of in-utero insemination. Still nothing. I am 33 years old. I have always know for sure I want to have kids. It's extremely frustrating and depressing. I havent given up but I am trying to except reality that it may never happen for me.

Hi M.,

One of the things you can try is the Clearblue Ovulation Test kit. This kit runs from 27.00 to 16.00 depending on where you buy it. Wal*Mart seems to carry it the cheapest. It's very easy to use, kind of like a pregnancy test. This test can help you pinpoint your two most fertile days during the month.
Good luck and happy trying!

I'm a little late to the replies here, but I wanted to suggest getting a copy of the book "Take Charge of Your Fertility", reading the information about ovulation and conception, and consider recording 1 or 2 months of cycle data. You can learn tons about your body and your cycling by charting your fertility signs, including whether or not you actually ovulated (ovulation predictor kits can only tell you when your body is trying to ovulate, not whether or not it suceeded) and whether the luteal phase of your cycle is long enough for a fertilized egg to actually implant. Even if you don't turn up any problems, the data you record can help if you need to see an RE. The website ovusoft.com provides a help forum and software that matches the book.

FWIW we didn't have any trouble getting pregnant, but charting was really helpful to me in learning things like that I don't typically ovulate until the 17th day of my cycle, so we knew when to concentrate our "efforts".