Twins Not Napping/sleeping Well

Updated on November 13, 2008
S.M. asks from Milwaukee, WI
7 answers

I have 8 month old twin boys who are not napping well. They each nap only 30-45 minutes twice a day. They will go to sleep, but one will wake up, then it's all over. One sleeps all through the night, while the other gets up 1-2 times at night. They both wake around 5:00 a.m. and we have gotten in the bad habit of bringing them into our bed until about 6:30. I have read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", but honestly am having a hard time with applying the concepts to twins. I'm feeling like I am failing them by not giving them the tools they need to sleep well. Any suggestions are appreciated!

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A.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I used the Babywise book approach with M. twins. I think I started it around 3 months. It took about a week before they were in the routine, but it worked WONDERS!!!!

I should add that mine are 18 months old now. They sleep through the night (8pm-7:30am) and take two naps (1.5-2hrs each), but are about to transition to one nap. They've been sleeping through the night since probably around 4 months (11pm-6am)

I did have a setback from rocking one to sleep when she was sick. For a few nights after that she would wake up during the night & cry out (usually they would just put themself back to sleep). I had to have M. husband go up & lay her back down, because if I went she would break down until I took her out to the glider.

Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Omaha on

kids go through phases and there is only so much you can do. I'm sure it's especially hard trying to do it with two, one is hard enough.. Don't stress out about it, if they are tired they will fall asleep no matter where they are. maybe, if you have the time, you can take them on a car ride, make sure you take a book with you and after they fall asleep sit in your car and read a book. Even if you've never been a reader and can become one. This will give you time for yourself, maybe not ideal like being in your house but you'll still get a break and you should take them when you can get them.

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E.I.

answers from Duluth on

they might be teething, so try your methods to soothe their teething pains.... make sure that they arent too hot or too cold... use white noise if you can (this and a night light are a MUST for my son, not to mention my husband!)

my son didnt sleep 'through the night' until he was between 15-17 months and even then it wasnt consistent. it might take a long time, but you wont regret doing what you have to to get your boys to sleep. my son is such a good sleeper, he has recently been having a cold, so its been a little tougher again, but he usually can be laid down in his crib, and he either just snuggles in and goes to sleep, or he looks at some of his night night books for a while, then falls asleep. this is at bedtime and nap time. so just do what you can, follow your instincts, listen to their needs. :D
you dont need to give 'tools' you just need to give love and tenderness to their ever constant needs. its a big job, but like my son (hes almost 2 and bedtime fights are never an issue) you will feel so proud when you can just lay your boys down and they will feel safe, calm, and sleepy when they are put to bed.
any questions just send me a note!

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M.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi - I am in a similar boat - I have 8 month old twin boys who also have had sleep issues, made worse by the DST change. For naps, I've heard that other twin mommies separate them into different rooms so that they waking up the other child is minimized. What helps me is to have a consistent nap time and stick to it. I put them in their cribs and if they have to cry it out, then so be it. My issue is that we are unavoidably on the go at times during their nap times. Also, are you putting them to sleep early enough? If they are overly tired that will impact their sleeping.

Some twin moms have had success with using sleep sacks - the sleep sacks help the babies recognize it's time to sleep.

Re: the sleeping through the night, honestly the thing that helped me the most was letting them cry it out. I waited until a few weeks ago to try it. It was hard, esp because the crying also woke up my older daughter, but it helped them to learn to soothe themselves.

I have Healthy Habits book but haven't read it. Many twin (and singleton) moms have sworn by the 12 hours by 12 weeks book. The author is a mother of twins herself.

Hang in there. Sleep issues are so hard :(

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R.E.

answers from Madison on

Hi, S..
I have twin girls who will be 18 months on Monday. We have struggled to get them to sleep through the night and am finally at a place where I feel ready to have them cry if needed.
When my girls were younger, I used a hair dryer to help them sleep & stay asleep for longer periods of time. I even went to target to buy one of their own (with a cool setting) so I didnt have to use my own. I found that helped them very well with taking naps and even falling asleep at night.
We eventually separated the girls at night to prevent them from waking each other up. One daughter sleeps in a pack and play in our bedroom and my other daughter sleeps in her crib. My daughter in the crib was already a great sleeper in her crib, so I left her there. Once they start sleeping through the night, I will move my other daugher out of the pack and play and into her crib.

Don't feel bad for what you are doing or aren't doing. What you will realize if you haven't already is that you just need sleep and will do what you need to do to get sleep. My personal feeling is that my girls are better off with a semi-rested mommy than a sleep-deprived one! So do what works for you and your family and cross the bridge when you get to it later. =) Hang in there and best of luck!

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

Congratulations on listening to your instincts and deciding to cosleep. I don't know who told you cosleeping is bad, because is not a "bad" habit to bring your babies into bed with you--it is a "good" habit which actually is a wonderful transition method for your babies from the crib to the toddler bed (unless of course in 12 months you want two 2 year-olds who drive you nuts by climbing out of their cribs all the time--or won't stay in their beds at night).

I think many people feel comfortable for the ten months they are pregnant with their babies, enjoying the closeness...and then once the babies are born, social pressures convince them to insist on seeking distance so as to make the babies independent--but really the more closeness you give your babies, the faster they will gain independence. You've got to listen to your instincts. Your babies still need you.

After a few months of letting your babies sleep in your bed with you whenever they ask, get a couple of "big boy beds" (toddler beds that look like race cars or care bears or something) and set them up in their bedroom. If you are worried about your boys falling out of bed, put just the mattresses on the floor and assemble the rest of the bed once they are a bit older. Make a BIG deal about it as though it's the most exciting thing in the world (i.e., model the behavior of loving a big boy bed). Let your children sleep with you at night and once they are asleep, make sure the baby monitor is on and place each one in their beds with the blankets on them nice and cozy. Closeness with mommy and daddy and the warmth of your bed is truly a wonderful way to ease them into loving their own beds.

By the way, if you read Elaine B.'s request today for advice on her 11 month-old, you can see that babies really do just want to be close physically to their parents while sleeping...and a bed is more comfortable than a crib, and easier for a growing toddler to stretch out in. In other words, it is inevitable that your babies will soon be entering their separation anxiety phase and you can bet they'll get what they need...either now, or a year from now. The good thing is, you can choose to work through this phase now and get it over with so they can get on with growing. Responding to your babies' needs for nighttime closeness now will assure your time with your children when they are 11 months old (and older) will be a lot more satisfying to you and to them. And as for naps, well..I recommend using two baby slings. I've worn two babies at once and it works just fine for naps. Then again, I've been blessed with a strong back so this may not be for everybody. Good luck with everything. I also want to say you are not failing your twins, you are doing a good job with them. Keep up the good work! All we parents can do is try our best!!

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J.A.

answers from Omaha on

Ask Dr. Sears is a wonderful Web site and his Night Time Parenting book saved my life! Can you do the family bed? It is wonderful and the bottom line is we ALL got more sleep. There is no sense in using the cry it out method. Your boys are so young and are not trying to manipulate you, they are trying to tell you what they need.
Try the book Three in a bed too (in your case it is four in a bed!) Another good book about the family bed. In cultures where the family bed is the norm, SIDS is almost unheard of. That says a lot about it.
Good luck and know this too shall pass.
The days are long but the years are short. Enjoy this fleeting time in your kids lives.
J.

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