Tying Your Tubes - San Marcos,TX

Had my tubes tied after the third kid, was 30. One of my biggest regrets in life now I'm 43, life changes but tied tubes are tied tubes, sigh.

I am the opposite of you. I have always wanted to be a mother and now have three little ones. I love them very much and look forward to having more. That being said, I think that just as I have always had that "I want to have lots of babies feeling" it's conceivable that there are people that have that "I don't want any babies feeling." Everyone is different that's what makes the world go 'round. If you know for sure that you don't want to have any more children, you should tie your tubes or something similar. I say this because if you know you don't want any more children, it would be best not to take the risk of getting pregnant again and have to face a more difficult decision or have a baby that you don't want. I don't believe in abortion, but I think if more people were like you and took more responsibility in preventing unwanted pregnancy there would be much less unwanted children in the world! As for your family, I try not to let my family make decisions for me. I may listen to their advice, but ultimately the decision is your and you would be the one to have to raise another child. I wish you all the best. You know what is best for you and your son!

You sound really clear, reasonable, and honest. Except for the fact that my one daughter was by choice and was eight years old, I was in a similar situation when I was 31, and got my tubes tied. I have never had a moment of regret or second-guessing, perhaps in part because I fully committed to a future with one child.

You know yourself, your needs, and your capacities better than anyone. What you are considering is sane, not selfish, if that's what you're worried about. I say go for it.

Totally agree with you...... you have a child so you know the routine, joys and resposibilities and if not wanting another child that would possibly be turning 21 when your in your fifties,,,, then why not get your tubes tied..... i had mine tied after 2 kids...... as for meeting someone.... well.... .... a man can live without a biological child- after all he would have a stepchild.... so if you love and desire children ...... why does a step child not fulfill ones needs......unless you believe that a child without your bloodline just does not cut it,,,,,, that is my response to the stay fertile for a "potential " spouse syndrome... sorry-- but the idea of marrying someone who could not be complete with your child and has to have his own ---is not the type of man i would want to marry...so you decide what relevance this scenario has in your life....so for the side effects .....for me tube tying was a piece of cake..... now menopause and it effects were a different story...so check with your doctor for further clarification on possible symptoms ( decide if you can live with them---for instance-- i suffer from severe migraines episodes--- so i could live with the possibility of headaches as a side effect).... next ---- what if you lost this child or fell in love with a person who insisted that a stepchild is not the same as a biological child or there is family flack or any other reasons for not tying your tubes that are relevant to you--- examine them,,, if you can honestly tells yourself that you can handle the consequences of having your tube tied .... then do it...C. v

Honestly... I think at 27, you're too young to permanently sterilize yourself.

I think being in a committed relationship, being in love with someone changes a person's view on parenthood. I myself wasn't sure whether I definitely wanted children until I met my husband... In 5 years, you'll be in your early thirties (plenty of time!) and you could meet a wonderful guy. Point blank, you simply don't know whether you would want to have any children with a future someone...

I think it sounds like you've thought about this a lot, and I completely support your decision for tying your tubes.
Yes it's a big decision and one that lasts forever, but if you KNOW you're 100% sure and you're completely happy with just your son (which it sounds like you are!), then I think you shouldn't listen to your family or anyone else who says not to do it, and listen to YOUR HEART. :)
Good job being a good momma. :)

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I realize that this is not a politically correct thing to say...but the best way to avoid having more children is to avoid doing things that produce children until you marry a good person. If you want your son to have strong moral values, then be a great example to him and focus on being the best example you can be, spending time with him, doing well in your job, having a good, healthy social life. This option has only positive side effects, is cheap, and never has to be reversed!

When i was your age i already had two children. I made the dumb decision of burning my tubes, i was extremely positive i did not want anymore children, EVER! I had my daughter and my son, happy!! Then my husband and i Divorced! it was very hard even though i had child support. oh! my mom did tell me so many times not to do that with my tubes. Then i met my now husband...he didn't have kids, he really really wanted kids, my son said he wanted a brother, my daughter said she wanted a sister. Well, to make a very long story short...we married after dating 7yrs, we tried reversing what i had done, didn't work! Couldn't get pregnant. My son was already in high school, my daughter in College, i thought it was good, was not, my husband wants kids! So end of 2007 we decide in IVF, im like 44 yo!! He's 43. We do IVF, i get pregnant, we have boy/girl twins! My husband, my daughter, and my son are extremely happy!! So am i of course. It cost lots! but they are so precious and brought so much happiness to us! I suggest you 'TIE' your tubs rather than do something permanent, i have a strong feeling you'll regret it as i did. Back then i think i swore i did not want kids anymore but here i am with twins!! i really felt deep in my heart that i was not going to meet anyone ever! and look? i'm married again and we have twins. You are too young!! at least tie them, ask the doctor of something that CAN be reversed! You don't want you child to grow alone!

I think as a single person raising a child alone it would be a great option. You are not "what if'ing" this enough. What if you meet a wonderful man and want to add one more, what if your sister needs an egg and a uterus to borrow, what if your son needs stem cells from his sibling to live? I now regret it and I raised my Mother's children, my ex-husband's kid, and now my own. I met the most wonderful man who doesn't have kids. I cannot give him one. I regret having my tubes tied and I am too old to have more babies. But there is something about them. Each one brings pieces of you into the future. Please don't be rash. You have alot of time to decide. Your uterus is not going anywhere.

You know what you want. You should go for it. These surgeries can be reversed if you ever find someone you want to be with and want children.

Go for it.

NO, you are not selfish in any way, shape, or form. I think you are smart, mature, and comfortable with yourself to decide your future. I know people married and unmarried who opt not to have children or anymore children. You are so right, it is the quality of life, not the quantity.
Even if 5 - 10 years you change your mind or meet somebody you want to raise a child with, you can adopt. I consider adoption as also "having Children".
As far as what to do to prevent, another idea is an ablasion (sp). It is the burning of the lining in the uterus. I had it done for medical reasons, but knew I did not want anymore children. Recovery time was a few days. I went back to work the next day but I had it worked out where I did not move around much. You may want to discuss that option with your doctor.
Whatever you decide, don't feel bad. Other peoples opinions are just that, their opinions. Consider them, but do WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU because you have to live with yourself the most. Many Blessings for you and your son.

I think every woman has their right to want or not want children. Please don't ever let someone make you feel bad, even your family. There are many women who feel the way you do. I believe its better that you don't have any more children if you don't want them.

As for getting your tubes tied, are you wanting it for medical reasons or just to do it? I think you need to weigh your benefits each way and figured out what is medically reasonable for you. I don't quite know what the side effects are to having them tied, but I'm sure there are drawbacks either way. Also consider that you may meet the man of your dreams at some point and he may want children. Even though you don't, he may make it to where you do. You never know how love will change your heart about a lot of things. Good Luck and just make sure you think out your decision before you do anything.

We have 2 kids and we are DONE! I didnt' want to go the tube tying route because of surgery, however, I recently jumped over to Mirena birth control. Its an IUD and it lasts for 5 years. They also have a 10 year Mirena. The procedure is done at the office and only takes a few minutes. There was some cramping for the afternoon, but after that, nothing. And even better, now, NO period! Spotting the first couple of months, but after that, nothing!
Don't worry about what anyone thinks about your decision. You know what you want and what is best for you and your son. Just do a little research, talk to your doctor and find out what solution your doc can help you come up with! Best of luck!

Oh Honey! It is not my place to tell you what to do, so ignore this if you choose. I just know from my friends in their 30s that you have a whole lot more of your life to live. You don't know what will happen. What if you meet a fabulous man who loves you and your little guy with all his heart. The two of you could marry and somewhere down the road decide that you want a baby of your own. I suggest getting a birth control implant that can last up to 5 years. They're pretty reliable and very low maintenance, and they can be removed when you're ready. God bless you and your son! One child is a blessing, and may be enough for you forever... but you never know!

This is totally a personal decision and your reasons are and will always be the good and right for you.

That said, I personally think you are too young to have something that definite done. You may change our mind in maybe 5 years (you never know) and if you had your tubes tide you can not take it back.

I did not have the longing for a baby until past thirty two but was single and with no financial means to have babies by myself. Then I was lucky enough to marry someone that wanted babies and understood that I couldn't wait a lot of time to get pregnant. Had my boy when I was 34 and then my girl at 37.

When my girl was born I had my tubes tied. My family is complete. I see myself with my husband hopefully for the rest of my life and, for my way of thinking I am too old for another pregnancy and my body took quite a bit with my girl. I had an extremely difficult pregnancy the last time so I knew and totally completely sure I did not want more kids.

The only consideration I would ask you to take is BE TOTALLY, COMPLETELY SURE that you want it and that you will never change your mind because you will not be able to change it.

Good luck!

I had two daughters with my ex before we got married. With each of them I contemplated abortion but decided against it. I was young and unprepared but continued with my pregnancies. When I met my second husband I initially didn't want to have more kids but we did eventually decide to have one. I got the little boy that I wanted and as soon as we found out it was a boy ( about 6 or 7 months along) I started contemplating getting my tubes tied.

My husband supported my decision and I had already been thinking about it since I had my daughters. From the time I had my girls to when I had my son I knew the difference in what I was feeling. From thinking that I wanted to get my tubes tied to KNOWING that I wanted to get it done.

You probably know that feeling from before having your son to after, you probably thought you wanted your tubes tied before and now you KNOW you want them tied. When you talk to your doctor about it, I believe most of them will make you wait a month or so to make sure and think about it more. In that time that I had, it made me want to get the procedure even more than I did before. Take that 30 or so days to think about what you really want and if this is it. If you're like me you will be ecstatic about your decision to get your tubes tied. It's been 3 1/2 years for me and I haven't regretted it for one second. There have been times where I have seen babies and thought for a split second "what if..." but I still realize even more that I DON'T want more kids and I am happy that I had my tubes tied. Good luck in your decision. I hope you are as happy as I am.

I totally agree you should have your tubes tied. That is not selfish at all - on the contrary. What a loving decision, to not bring a child into the world that is not the most desired gift of his/her parent.

I think you are a smart woman that knows what she wants. I applaud your decision to get your tubes tied. I think you need to do something permanent, since you are sure about not wanting anymore children. Taking birth control pills or shots for long periods of time is not healthy. I was 29 when I had mine tied and have never regretted it!! I don't believe in accidents, and prevention is always better than an unwanted pregnancy.
Good Luck and God Bless.

I am right there with you--so much is to be said about how life turns out--who knows your son maybe the next doctor that comes up with the cure for cancer...I have a 4 yr old and I was never the type to want children..All my friends were having kids and so at 27 I had my son with my now husband...soon to be ex-husband. Now at 31, I am loving the relationship with my son, but know that it will be a rough life for him not having that male figure in his own house..Really hurts me, but sooo glad I am done with my soon to be ex---It is always your choice and you have done your part to add your special something to the world..he will have friends and people in his life that will be great playmates....thats what I get from family, but I have also thought about it....So glad to see a good one on here..Good luck and just know that there are many of us out here that support you and also want you to be happy.

I respect and applaud your approach to this issue. I just want to weigh in and say that we change so much as we mature. You still have a good 10-12 years of fertility and I would hate for you to regret this decision. There are so many good birth control options, as you know, that you could prevent pregnancy without making such a final commitiment. I am 39 and am very different from the person I was at 32 who was incredibly different from the person I was at 25. This has nothing to do with men, marriage, etc.; it's about you and what you might want in the future. Although you are sure now, your 30 or 35 year-old-self may disagree and be quite sad about it. Good luck with this important decision.

It is so nice to hear about your willingness to sacrifice your desires for your son. Not everyone wants to be a mommy but you did not abort your son because of it. You must be a very strong woman.

I would not worry about having your tubes tied and go through the recovery, etc. until you have found someone who will commit to you in marriage. I can't imagine that you would want to be treated so cheaply by someone who just wants to have sex with you and no commitment. We as women need to demand more and protect our emotional health. I would keep looking until I found someone who really understands what love is. Then the two of you could make the decision together.

My friend and I are about 4 months pregnant with our second children and she told me she was going to have her tubes tied right after her second. I was thinking that sounds perfect for me as I really don't want to have another or go through the pregnancy in my late thirties. Her reason is that she just doesn't want anymore - really wasn't expecting the second one but definitely knows she doesn't want to take the chance to have another. I've never been the kind of woman who "felt the clock ticking" or "burning need to have a baby." I figured if I ever met "the right man" then I might consider having children but it was never wanting children and finding a man to have them with. If I never met the right one then I would have been happy babysitting for my friends children or frankly being on my own =) I don't think many woman feel that so if you are one of those then I completely understand how you feel and that having children was never a priority for you therefore the decision is pretty easy.

Now that I have one and a second on the way, my reasons for tying the tubes are - I'm in my late thirties; I don't want to be "too old" to enjoy my children and possibly my grandchildren; I feel old physically; financially it's not the best choice; and most important - I have the most perfect daughter I could ever hope for and who knows about the next one but I'm sure he/she will be just as perfect and I can't see myself having more than two perfect children =) I'm lucky that my partner feels like two is just the right number and I definitely don't want to be put in a situation to have an unplanned pregnancy. I love my family and know that I will never regret the decision.

A copper IUD (Paraguard) lasts for 10 years and has a better failure rate than a tubal (you can still get pregnant with either a tubal or copper IUD, but you have less of a chance with the IUD). The only way to surgically sterilize yourself 100% is to have a hysterectomy or have your ovaries removed (which creates menopause).

I reeeeeeeally wouldn't recommend a tubal. The women's clinic I worked in... oy. The all female medical staff HATES them, and their treatment of thousands of women lines right up with all the women in my family who have had them. MASSIVE side effects (usually mood / personality related), oftentimes perm weight gain, frequently a smell issue. You still have your period, and your ovaries are still there, but there is ongoing research into these really common side effects (as in how they're possible when the parts are all there)... but those studies won't be out for a good 5-10 years minimum.

go online and read about the sideeffects of tubal. my doc told me there were none. he lied. super heavy periods ( i was rarely on bc pills, doc said the ppl that complained were most likely on bc pills and had a lighter period) i also have headaches every month. :( read up on it before you do it. i dont regret it but i wish my hubby would have been snipped. * i see that you added the what happened. i chose not to have any other thing than tubes tied because of my views. if the egg is fertile and is not allowed to attach because of something i view that as abortion. if it prevents the egg from being fertile in the first place. i think that is ok. good luck. i am thirty btw.