Unbelievable!!

I have an nephew, who is 8, and is a very picky eater. What I do is I have him cook with me in the kitchen a healthy meal and 9 times out of 10 he will eat it and will want to make it at home.

Good luck!

I'm speechless. Which actually says a lot. If my brain stops twitching at some point, I'll update.

My only Q: Is he autistic? That's the only thing I can think of which makes this in any way anything other than the laziest parenting I've come across in a long time. "Not worth the fight????"

Again, my brain is twitching. Possibly from the sugar overload just from reading.

I cannot even imagine that this child is 9 and been allowed to eat like this.. It makes me so mad that he has been allowed to get away with this.. I am really speechless and horrified.

The only thing I can imagine would maybe entice him would be to make a deal with him, that if he will try a bite of each of the foods you offer per day, you will give him $5.00. Money talks for kids this age, but I do not usually believe in ever bribing children.

I feel so sorry for him, that he has not been told he is a strong and brave person that should not be afraid of at least trying SOME new foods..

Honestly, you sound like you can't stand this kid.....and his mom. You need to understand the ONLY person to blame and put judgement on is the MOTHER, not the child. Kids are going to eat what they're served and at this age, don't understand healthy from junk. However, you can't judge him or change his eating habits. Like you said, he's not your kid so if you have that much of an issue with how he eats, I suggest you don't watch him anymore. You sound a little immature with the remark that your child has him beat by miles.......what is this, a who's child eats healthier contest??
Lay off on the poor kid and if you're that concerned about his eating habits, respectfully approach the mother with some suggestions you might have on what works for your own kids to eat healthier. I've seen my own family members kids eat worse but I learn to keep my mouth shut and know that everyone feeds their kids differently and again, if it disturbs you this much, don't keep the child anymore. His mother didn't ask for your nurtritional advice for her child, she asked you to watch him and provided you with the food he eats. She wasn't asking you to go out and but these peticular items, she simply asked you to feed it to him. You have to make sacrifices with ANY child you may watch and do things diffently for that peticular child. But seriously, lay off the criticism and enjoy the child's company rather than try to change who he is. You have no right to make him go hungry if he doesn't eat your foods, that will only cause major family problems and be very upsetting and stressful on the child. Feed the kid what he eats and provide him with a safe, nurturing and caring environment.

EXACTLY I don't know YOU or your FAMILY but I go by what your post says and how you came off with your post, I think what was the most disturbing WAS the "my kid has you beat by miles" I mean, come on, grow up lady! He's 9 yrs old, they say ridiculous stuff .I didn't bother to read anyone else's response so don't really care if anyone else agrees or doesn't. My point was, don't try and change a child that you have for a week! The mom didn't bring him to you for nutrition camp, she asked you to keep him and asked you to feed him what he eats. I'm sure she doens't mind you offering new foods to him but to try and "change" his entire routine is wrong.
Sorry it offended you so much by my words, I didn't think it was that wrong to see things from a different point of view, you asked for advice here, sorry not EVERYONE here agrees with YOU and how you feel. You obviously just want support in backing you up on your opinions for this child's eating habits, which are not his fault, it's the parents but you sound as if you're attacking the innocent child here.....even though you may not "show" him negative thoughts it's obvious you feel them so don't keep him anymore if it's that hard to accept how he eats. Like another post said, adults and children have their own eating habits, would you enjoy being forced to stay somewhere with a family that might be all organic and completely disagree with how you eat so they decide to make you eat what they eat or you go hungry?? No I don't think you'd be too happy with that.....kids go through phases as well which maybe yours are too young for you to see that but they do and maybe next week he'll be on an all fruits and veggies diet. And the whole he has "man boobies" remark was very immature so yes I don't know YOU but I don't know the MOM either or where she's coming from but she obviously doesn't want her child going hungry and cares enough to provide you what she knows he eats and no that doesn't qualify her to get her child taken away, Your meal choices don't sound too much healthier then what she feeds her son, Pancakes (high in sugar and fat) spaghetti and tacos....also both high in fat. So anyways, I don't really care if you agree or not but if you don't want to hear different views or can't handle advice you don't agree with then "seriously" find another forum!

OMG....
good grief...
I am... rendered speechless.

If that were me, yes, I would offer him other foods... NORMAL foods.
It is almost abusive.. what this boy is eating... being that he already has man-boobs and his Mom is Diabetic... and he WILL be too.
It is consciously... making him... sick. Medically. Emotionally. Psychologically.
And he is ONLY 9 years old.

I'm sure you know this... but Diabetes KILLS people.
My Dad was Diabetic... Type II. He died from it and the MANY complications from it, even though he was under Doctor's care and at home too as his family caring for him and he taking care of himself too.

That woman.. .is KILLING her son. Not now... but later. The legacy of this... is unbelievable.
He needs intervention... CPS anything.

all the best,
Susan

Hmmm, I'm not a complete freak about the food I feed my child, but I do limit food with absolutely no nutritional value and I'm afraid that's pretty much the definition of the entire bag your nephew's mother packed. I'm not convinced he'd be any worse off if he didn't eat a single bite of food while at your house than he would eating pop tarts, pizza rolls and chicken nuggets. I would suggest you feed him what you feed the rest of your family and allow a tiny bit of chocolate syrup in his milk just so he'll at least drink something, if he won't eat.

The real issue is that no matter what short term changes you're able to make in the little time you have him it seems pretty reasonable he'll revert back to his old habits when back with his mother. A week of veggies will not make a kid who only regularly eats sodium and sugar healthy and you're likely in for a pretty grumpy kid since weaning yourself off foods like this is somewhat akin to an addict getting clean.

I feel so sad about how many overweight kids I see now. I do think it's tantamount to child neglect to be so careless with your kids diets that you've got elementary school aged kids struggling with obesity and health problems related to it.

Could you maybe talk to your brother and share your concerns for the long term health of his son? I'm guessing this kind of diet doesn't help any aspect of his life including sports, school and friends.

I'm still trying to digest his diet after reading what's on that junk food menu. Bless his heart, literally!

A lot of times kids will eat things for other people that they never would eat at home. I'd just offer him what your family eats -- and I think he'll probably eat it if it's not totally weird. My older daughter was always picky with us at home, but she would eat anything her friends' parents put on the table.

Your house, your rules...however, you could slightly alter them for him. Maybe let him make his own plates (but he must take at least a bit of everything, even if its only 1 green bean, lol), if he finishes everything on the plate he may have a snack of his choosing. One bite of each thing you have prepared is not too much to ask, and he may like something and want more, but if he doesn't (and has finished his plate) he can fill up on his 'mom approved' junk.

I would cook as usual for my family (with one extra serving), choosing food that I know ALL my family members love and would eat and take second time. I would just propose some to him. Then ask him to at least try 3 small bites of each food (one to discover, one to decide if he likes it, one to be sure)
At 9, he can understand that your house have your rules and that he may be a bad example for your children, undermining your authority by breaking the house rules and teaching them that junk food is somehow OK .
Seeing everyone enjoying this food may be an incentive enough to have him try. If not, I would have tried enough to not feel bad and little enough so neither him or his mom can complain.
But, even if you get him to eat fruits, whole grains, greens and veggies at each meal this week, chances are he will be back on his regular diet with his mom.
And, keep in mind that if you try too hard (and even more if you succeed), his mom may resent you for that. Whether she has been trying and fighting for a healthier diet and failed or just being lazy with easy and fast food, she may not appreciate that you succeed where she fails and tries when she specifically told you and wrote you not to fight over it.

I'm right there with you...horrified that this poor kid will be both fat and diabetic!

However, Mom is right, he's going to put up a fight and you're not going to change him in a week. Even if you do get him to eat other things, he'll just go back to what he was eating before.

Since he's nine, I'd go the "education" route. It's the only thing that works with my almost-9-year old. When she goes to her mom's I can't control what she does. She used to only eat McDonalds, Burger King, Ramen Noodles and Doritoes at her mom's. I educated her on sodium and MSG for starters. We talked about getting fat, about sugar etc. We even did the sugar test. We had her hold her arm out straight to the side. Then we pushed her arm down while she tried to hold it up. Then we had her eat a candy bar. We had her hold her arm out again. This time we were able to push it down easily. Sugar makes you that weak THAT FAST! That test made it really real to her the effects of sugar.

The only way you can get the kid to change is if he makes the decision. Education is the only way. Now my stepdaughter refuses to eat Ramen noodles or McDonalds.

Good luck! And if you can't change him, it's not worth the fight so let him eat his disgusting food at your house. Unfortunately it's not your job, but you can do what you can.

Let him starve. I'd throw that food out and make him eat what you're eating. He's nine, he needs guidance. Tell him a mouse got into his food and there's none left, you had to throw it out because of germs.

Someone needs to stop this cycle, he'll die very young otherwise. If you don't want to deal with it, just print out all these responses for his mom to read. I've never heard of anything so disgusting in my life. And my parents fed us lots of junk food....we just had to eat our veggies too. Prayers to you.
N.

I feel so sad for this child. Nutrionally speaking it is a disaster but what is more offensive is that the child has all of these adults under his 'control'.

I know he isn't your child but I wouldn't feed him unless he ate what I was cooking. We actually have a similiar situation. My son has a friend who sometimes spends the night and only will eat dessert. Soooo, he doesn't eat anything because now when he comes over we purposely do not serve dessert. The mother knows that her sons is picky but also realizes that he won't die because he missed one or two meals.

His parents really need to address this issue. This child is 'crying' for control over his life and by demanding only these foods, it gives him that feeling of control.

Good luck, but dump the bag of food...he'll eat when he is hungry even if that is several days later.

My response is a little late, he's probably gone by now, but I completely agree with your attempts to get him to eat healthy food. It was the correct thing to do. And if you had him longer, you probably would succeed.

Since you've been giving him his food from home I'd continue doing that. I might add the idea of having him eat 1-3 bits of each of the foods the rest of you are eating first. Talk with him about what is healthy and why his food isn't.

Many of the posts seemed to be saying that the mother allows him to eat this junk because she's too lazy to make him eat anything else. I suggest that he only eats this junk because that is the only food his mother has in the house. I suggest that she doesn't know how to eat better and is almost certainly very depressed.

She has recently been diagnosed with diabetes 2. I'd play on the fear that she must be feeling and work on quietly educating both her and your nephew. Ask her how she feels about being diabetic and listen to her for as long as she wants to talk. Ask her if she'd like some help in learning how to get healthier.

The doctor will be giving her information about going to a class to learn how to eat and exercise. Encourage her to go. If she talks with you and wants your help, go to the class with her. Or encourage her to take a support person, one of her friends, to go. Another person who understands what is needed is a good support person. She needs lots of support.

Do whatever you can to support her getting help for depression as well as for the diabetes. If she isn't interested in talking with you,. let it go. It is not your responsibility. All you can do is offer.

I would not "lose" the food she brought and would continue to give it to your nephew because you want to remain on good terms with her so that she might accept your support. When she returns I would perhaps use this food as a way of starting a conversation with her. Tell her how difficult it was for you to give this junk food to your nephew because you know he too will become diabetic. Suggest that he needs healthy food so that he can do well in school and in being a happy kid. If you know what is important for her to have for her son emphasize that.

I would also talk with your brother and your mom and encourage them to not to go along with this eating plan. I suggest all of you tell her that from now on when he's at your house he will eat what the family is eating. No more junk food!

First of all...glad you've had mostly positive answers. There are always one or two moms on here that feel their parenting methods are the only correct ones. While I may cringe when I hear something I disagree with, I always keep the thoughts to myself or offer helpful advice and not criticism. I wish the other moms would do that also. As moms, we all have so much on our plates already and we judge ourselves as it is. Oh well....whatever!!!

I just wanted to say I understand what you are (or were going through) with your nephew. I have a cousin that eats the same way because his parents do. When I house sit for them I always end up spending all the money they give me on food even though she says I can help my self to the food in the house. All of it if frozen meals or "kid friendly" meals. When they visit at my grandma's house they bring frozen chicken nuggets because that is one of the only things their son will eat. When I make the salad my cousin requests a separate salad for herself because she doesn't like all the things I put in it....you know like tomatoes and cucumbers? But the best part is.....my cousin complains about how picky her son is and how she wishes he would eat more variety. Cracks me up since that's how they are, too.

He may have a food sensitivity and/or sensory issues with food.

My child used to eat 4 things: pizza, mac & cheese, chicken nuggets, and pancakes. That was IT! He was also sick constantly. Despite our efforts to serve other foods - forget it. It was an exercise in frustration.

We found out our son is severely gluten intolerant. Within two days of coming off gluten, I saw him eat broccoli (floored me!).

We have been gluten free (and a whole bunch of other allergies that we later found out) for three years now. I constantly hear what a healthy "eater" my son is. Moms actually ask me how I get him to eat certain things!

My point is - especially with obesity in the family - that there very well could be food reactions at the root of it all. When the body cannot absorb the nutrients from food (because it can't be digested properly) it makes you crave more of that food!

If his stomach is hurting that spells "bowel issues" to me (we've also had plenty of that around here). My son had the opposite problem than your nephew - he couldn't gain weight. Now he's finally gaining and getting muscular (going for his black belt in karate).

Good luck to you - this could be a wake-up call for this child's family. You could impact his life in a positive way! Be careful how you handle it though; people are highly sensitive about their eating habits (I know I was). Changing the way your family eats is a tremendous amount of work - but can be worth it!

I wouldn't try to get him to eat regular food, he is already trained by mom/dad to know that he won't like it. I would continue to serve what you normally do, ask him if he'd like some and if he says "No thank you" (and any other negative response - as in without manners - gets a reprimand) then don't press the issue. He will see what's available and what your kid (or kids) eat and maybe get adventurous. Or not. If he went there being told that he could have his usual food, I don't believe it's fair for him to suddenly be told that he has to eat your food instead. I'm not saying that I approve of his diet because I surely don't, but I wouldn't make him unhappy when an expectation was set.
What I find unbelievable is that they'd leave this kid with his poptarts and pizza rolls and not consider that it's unfair to your son (or other kids if you have them) to see him getting to eat junk in YOUR house while they are still expected to have plain milk and vegetables. Not to mention that it's very inconsiderate to expect you to cook a separate meal, even if it's just chicken nuggests or pizza rolls
I would say that if you are ever going to watch him again, to make the stipulation that he must eat what is served at your house and can't bring his special garbage food with him.

Yeah. This is a big problem not just with your nephew's family but in the whole country. Obesity is a more deadly problem than the war. A former surgeon general (can't remember which one) wanted to the president to address that problem because it was causing more problems for this country than the war but he was shut down.
If your nephew's mom packed a pound of sugar, a stick of shortening and a 1/2 pound of salt and said that's all he lived on, what would you do? Essentially, that's what it was. Chocolate milk has more sugar than soda.
It's a tough call but you never know. A nine year old may try new things in a new environment. It takes a kid 17 tries to start eating something new but most parents stop way before that. Limited diets should only be for kids with severe allergies or health problems.
That boy is not going to starve if he doesn't eat your food. At the same token, one week of trying "new" foods at your house may convince him to ask his mom to provide him with better food.
I wouldn't try too hard to please him or go out of your way to prepare his food too. Maybe his mom thought she was being helpful by giving you easy to prepare foods for him?
Take it one meal at a time and see what happens. Then decide what is most convenient for you. After all, his mom is the one that created this situation.

I can't say much, because I used to be that kid. I was as skinny as could be because if I didn't like something, I just wouldn't eat.

Maybe you can ask him to taste a little of everything and then he can have his garbage his mom left him.

I totally agree with your suggestion of having him try new foods.... he is eating very unhealthy and if diabetes runs in his family and he's eating this way then he is sure to get it... Natalie is a fool.... Good job D... This is what a caring aunt does!!!!

It's a tragedy the adults in his life are teaching him how to dig his own grave with a knife and a fork. This is hard. You only have him for a week and you are not going to be able to change deep seated habits in that amount of time. Not feeding him his usual foods might cause a hunger strike (so what?), but I don't think it'll go on for very long. No child ever starved himself to death from not eating supper for one evening. What you might try is feeding him smaller amounts of his usual food and tell him he has to try 'no-thank-you' helpings of things the rest of your family is eating. Just 1 spoonful each of vegetables, rice, chicken, etc and he has to try them BEFORE he gets his usual stuff. (The usual stuff doesn't even make it to the table until he's swallowed his 1 spoonful servings.) There's a non flavored fiber powder you can add to his milk and he'll never know it's there. You might have some success in widening some of his food choices. Do not expect the child or his parents to thank you for your efforts.

This is definitely tricky. Since you're babysitting I'd just offer him the food you've prepared and if he refuses to try it use his diet. It is seriously sad to see him eat this way, and to contribute. However you are offering to babysit and give him what he parents want him to eat so you'd better comply. Just think of it as doing to him what you'd want his mom to do with your kids (should they be babysitting...). This is an issue you might need to address with your brother at a later time, and see how he feels about the diet. I've heard of parents loosing their custody of kids if they endanger their health with bad foods (among other things - and I'd assume if she's that irresponsible in this area its not the only one) and obesity.

Best wishes!

Hi D.,

I'd go "oops" and it would fall right into the trash, lol! I couldn't bring myself to give it to him. I think he would be healthier if he didn't eat for a week....

There's no stress going on. His parents are just out of town. He's nine, not three. Talk to him. Let him earn a treat. I can't imagine Mom being upset if he got a little healthier while he was there! He's not your kid, but he is the "guest" in your home and should not be demanding or put you to any trouble preparing two different meal plans at every meal time!

God bless you! :)

M.

I have known kids who "wouldn't" eat new foods, and I think in most cases it is largely a control issue between the parents and kids (meaning the kids won't do it for their parents because the kids want to get more control in the home and don't like being told what to do by their parents all day, etc---like with toilet training a toddler, they just irrationally decide not to give in to their parents).
But in my experience, most kids will do things for other people that they won't do for their parents...I think it is great that you gave him some new options and that he tried at least one new thing.
Honestly, I think the Mom was just frustrated from her child's stubborn streak, and she was trying to save you the struggles she had gone through. She probably gave up years ago and it didn't occur to her that her son's mind might change somewhere along the way...it just became a habit for her as well as for him.

He's in your care when he's staying with you, so technically, this week...he's yours! Make him eat what you all are eating, period. I'm not too strict on my kids diet, but if my boy was overweight at a young age(which there's no excuse for!), he sure wouldn't be having any junk food! It sounds to me, like he has lazy parents! Sure it's much easier to cave into the whining, than to make your kid eat healthy foods. I bet he's never even tried many different healthy foods. She obviously isn't eating healthy, since she's so overweight and type two diabetic. You may be his first time trying healthier options and just may surprise himself, at how good he feels by the end of the week. Now's your chance to make a difference!

My take on this is a bit different from the answers I've read...skip the parents, they are enablers...talk to the nine year old. Be honest. Tell him you love him and it makes you sad to see how he's hurting himself. Show him the nutrition panel of the Ramen noodles then google some of the ingredients. Find a picture of a diabetic with an amputated limb and explain it happens from consuming too much sugar. When my son was five he wouldn't eat any veggies so one day at dinner as my husband was making his "broccoil face" we told him flat out "Daddy doesn't like broccoli either, he eats it because he knows it's really healthy and he wants to live and be with us for a long time". My son at broccoli that night and does a great job eatting them every night now. Even if he doesn't enjoy them, he at least chokes them down with minimal grief.

u can try but don'y be disappointed if he doesn't take to it. but i would try especially if hes an over weight kid

I really don't understand this mindset. The boy won't eat, you say? For how long? How long have Mom and Dad let him go without eating? Has he ever gone more than a meal or two without eating what is in front of him? I doubt it. This child is not a toddler anymore, he's 9, and he is old enough for Mom to lay down the law. My parents had a rule that if I didn't eat what was on my plate for dinner, then when I was hungry later, that was what I was offered. It taught me to try everything. I didn't have to clean my plate, but I had to eat things I didn't like, so that my taste buds would expand. If this kid won't eat at school, he should get the same foods at home until he's hungry enough to eat them.

But this isn't your child. Whether you choose to fight with him - that's up to you. How hard do you want to work this week? ^_~ No matter what you decide, make sure you have a serious talk with your little brother about his son.

Absolutely feed him what you feed the rest of the family. You could make some really "good for you" kid food and make it FUN for him. Otherwise you will have a very tense week. He IS a guest in your home...most guests don't bring their own food unless it's for healthy reasons. They eat what is served and are thankful for it! Does he know his mom brought "food" for him? Maybe you could just conveniently lose that bag???...the dog got the bag? Anything to get rid of it. LOL! Poor little guy is getting fed a slow death diet. He must feel terrible too. :( I think it's hedging on neglect myself. I am not a milk fan, but at least he is getting SOME nourishment from the milk. OMG! She might as well be starving him. Who does he live with? Mom/Dad? Could you express your concerns to your brother? You could be saving his life! You have a tough one here...good luck!

D.,

Your sister-in-law is leading herself and her child to an early grave. This is a situation that could be considered child endangerment. Pick up some literature on childhood diabetes and obesity for your brother, he should take the lead on this one.

I’m sure you don’t want to start a war with your family, but if the parents won’t listen, maybe you could quietly get the school evolved next term.

Blessings.....

If it were me, I'd try. When I take care of my niece and nephew, my brother says that they won't eat anything either. If he or his girlfriend are cooking, they will get out sugar cereal, ramen, chicken nuggets because they claim that the kids won't eat anything else.

I put regular food in front of the kids and they will say, "I don't like chicken" or "I don't like spaghetti". I don't care if their dad is there or not. I say, "Well, that's too bad because this is what we are eating tonight. You can eat it or go to bed hungry." Sometimes they might sit there a while not eating. I just go on as normal and wait it out. Every time, they finally pick up their fork and taste it. "Mmmm, Aunt C., this is really good."

My brother is amazed every time.

I think it comes down to setting the expectation about what will happen in your house or when you are in charge. I'm betting your nephew will rise to the occasion.

hey just a thought -- since he's 9 years old, why not trying to have a conversation with him about his diet. maybe noone ever sat down with him to talk about nutrition and he just has no clue what he is doing to his body. i remember when i was 9 and nutrition is a concept that you can grasp at that age. no need to go into all the gory details but maybe you can bring up sports heroes he looks up to or something to make it more relevant to him of why he should eat better. geez. feel so sorry for thsi kid. he just doesn't know any better!

Oh girl I feel ya! We know of children who don't eat well either or who just eat the same thing over and over without any encouragement to try something new. It makes me sad for them because it's so unhealthy!
I would say, if you have the boy for a week, you should go for it. Your not gonna starve the kid, but at least explain to him that you want him to be a part of the family for a week and serve him with your family. You would be doing him an extrodinary benefit for his future if you were successful in getting him to eat better.
Then I would suggest talking to him mother about a better variety in his diet. He's totally lacking in important vitamins and nutrients that he would get from fruit and veggies, not to mention roughage for his bowels, and that he could be diabetic in the future. I too would be very concerned and wouldn't hesitate to talk to the mom and dad.!

Maybe he is using this food and his eating habits as a "power issue". It is something he seems to have control over. Maybe you could suggest that the family see a counselor. There may be other issues besides just food. You have been very accommodating by letting your nephew stay with you, but as he starts to get older, he will limit his social contacts with this type of behavior. The other kids will start to make fun of him and no one is going to want to invite him over to eat or spend the night. Since he is only there for the week and you can not correct all his eating habits, I think i would just try to let him eat his food and try to entice him to try some other things. Maybe if your kids are enjoying something, he might want to try it. It is very nice you are trying to help prevent his future health problems.

I would try!!, while he is at your house, he follows your rules, you never know you could break him of some habits, there are lots of yummy healthy foods

Grr! This makes me angry! I don't think you can call someone a picky eater if they haven't ever tried other things - even kids who are picky will have a few fruits and vegetables that they like.

I think if he's in your house, you can decide what to feed him. It's not like he has to be on a special diet because of food allergies or like you're trying to feed him sprouts and sushi for dinner. I guess you'll have to see how he reacts and if you want him telling his mom that you won't let him eat what he wants! But I don't think it's reasonable to expect you to cook two meals every night either. I say you should definitely try to get him to eat some other things. I can't believe people do this to their kids - it's one thing to have a picky eater who might only eat one item out of three that you make for dinner but it's another thing to let your kid live on poptarts and pizza rolls. No wonder his stomach hurts - he's probably constipated all the time!

Limited diet only eats certain foods? That comment is for kids with allergies, glutin issues real food intolerance. It's because the parents aren't interested in trying new. How does a kid first taste a pop tart, Ramen noodles etc? The parents. He won't eat if he doesn't get this sugary garbage? Really? The mom should tell him if you don't eat a peice of chicken, a fruit or a veggie, you don't eat. He will not starve, he will give her a hard time and slowly he will try maybe one thing new. It is the parents job, period. You have him for a week. You can keep offering different things but it's not your fight. I would definitly talk to your bro and SIL. This is childhood obesity, possibility for diabtetes (already in family) and a very difficult childhood if the weight gain continues and he gets to his teens. Wow this is just incredible.

This is just plain sad. Your nephew is destined for a life of misery health wise. Just look at his mother. Unfortunately, it seems to be a 'family' problem.

I agree that education is the key. Sometimes knowing why helps. Unfortunately, the medical community tells us to lose weight, exercise, etc for type 2 diabetes, but they really don't explain, in gory detail, what happens if type 2 is only managed. It is reversable and it really doesn't take too much effort to do so.

A heartfelt talk with your nephew's mom might be a good idea, if she is open to it. I am a wellness educator and I refer my diabetes clients to a book and work by Dr. Neal Barnard, who reverses diabetes with his patients. He has a book describing how to do that along with fabulous recipes. I recommend you explore the website www.pcrm.org. Within that you will see a link to his work on diabetes. I also strongly suggest you look at the vegetarian starters kit within that. It shares how to move more to a plant based diet.

Plants have the nutrients needed to keep our bodies healthy and able to prevent disease. Plants have lots of fiber (and protein) which helps us to maintain a healthy weight...and healthy cholesterol and hormone levels.

The foods this boy eats have no nutrients whatsoever. Therefore, he is overweight, likely to be hungry and eating all of the time because his body is telling him he needs NUTRIENTS.

I have a great DVD that was recorded by Dr. Bill Sears, author of many books on kids health. He also has a new one out called Prime Time Health. I would recommend his Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood and The Family Nutrition book as well. Let me know and I can get you that DVD. Probably not in time to watch it with your nephew, but I suggest you watch it and then have your brother watch it. Maybe try some sort of intervention, as was suggested in another post.

Start by asking mom if she is happy with having type 2. Ask if she would like to learn how to eat and live better. Ask if she can live with the fact that she is shortening both of their lives with the way that they eat. Ask her if she would like to see the both of them eat healthier and no longer need medications to temporarily keep them functioning (notice I didn't say alive, because I can't imagine that she 'feels' very good herself and these drugs only work in the short term, and then start their own issues over time).

I could go on and on and on, but I'm pretty sure I'm preaching to the choir. But do feel free to contact me and I can send you bunches of info to share with your brother and former SIL. I would also like to invite you to a health talk that will be at the Troy communtiy center on July 12. A nurse friend of mine, who is an expert in free-radicals (we need veggies and nutrients to fight free radicals) and the damage they cause to the body. I can send the flyer if you are interested.

Good luck. I applaud your efforts to help this boy. But it may come down to having to turn your head and not watch the slow decline of your nephew's health. He probably already has metabolic syndrome, if not insulin sensitivities and the beginning of type 2 himself. Can you imagine the money that your brother will be spending 'managing' his son's preventable disease. Anyway, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

I look forward to helping in any way that I can....I will say my prayers for you and your family. In health, D.

I forgot to mention that to offer hope to your SIL, if she is concerned at all, that, yes, it will be a fight at first to get her son's habits changed, but with perserverance, and a desire to change, FOR BOTH OF THEM, they can change. Dr. Sears tells that it can take up to and at least 10 attempts to get a child to try a new food. Granted, an older child who has been allowed to dictate his diet make take longer, but it can be done. Mom has to be given permission to be the mom and call the shots. They can make it a family thing...that they both are going to eat better and then WELL so that they can live a long and disease free life. Aren't their lives worth the effort?

Oh my goodness...he sounds worse than me when I was a kid...and i was pretty bad ...as you remember i'm sure, lol..
I totally like your idea of making your kids eat what you make or nothing...I need to actually start doing that with Emily and Sammy! They're starting to get more and more picky! Sammy is just rotten..lol
I think you should try that gently with your nephew too! Just see how it goes.. Hell bribe him if you have to, hahaha...

OH...and why on earth would she send Ramen noodles that have to have the veggies removed for him.. They make regular ramen noodles with NO veggies in them at all!
good luck

My sister has a site called superkidsnutriontion.com. It helps people make heatlhy eating decsions.
Are you close with his mom your ex sister in law. Could you tell her you setting up a lifetime of bad eating habits.

If it was my son I would give him veggies for a snack. He would have to eat what everyone was eating ..if he gets hungry from not liking the food eventually he would come around.
I am not sure what I would do if it was my nephew visiting..ugh. The parents just give instead of doing the right thing..at times we all want to give in just to have some peace. Giving in is a short term solution..the long run we end up paying. Good luck.

gosh i knew a mom who would feet her child 2 things. that was breakfast, lunch and dinner. and when i would ask she'd say that is all he will eat. really? so a 4 year old child decided what to eat?
not in my house. but you can't change it unless the move is permanent and he will be in your care from now on, otherwise just give him what he eats. it's heartbreaking but better than stepping on mom's rules. but so sad isn't it?
i laughed at your 'cup-o-noodles'

Boy does this make me angry. I'm so sorry that you're in this spot. I have to agree that he should eat when you're eating and keep the bag of stuff hidden. A quote from my pediatrician, if he's really hungry, he will eat and he will certainly not starve.

Maybe have him contribute to the family dinner a night or two with his foods that he likes, but get him involved in the kitchen, making homemade nuggets, making pizza rolls with wontons or pizza crust, I'm sure there's a recipe somewhere on the net.

Hope this helps.

Wow. LOL, when I read the beginning of your post I thought you were going to say he had allergies or something. ha. Well I see you are already feeding him the junk. But...I don't know. I would think after a couple days of refusing to eat he would eat what you are cooking. That is just ridiculous. I can't believe his parents. It's really sad. That kid's going to have diabetes just like his mom if he's not already deveopling it now.

It's not worth fighting with him for one week. It's disgusting and I really believe he should be taken from her and put in foster care until someone straightens them all out. But I know the system won't do it over food.

I had a daycare boy a few years ago that was spoiled like this. He would make himself throw up if I made him eat anything else. It was really traumatic for the rest of us to watch him sit there and gag himself at the table and throw up on his plate! His mom was nice but because of the food thing he started clinging to her like a baby when she left him. He was 8 years old! He absolutely hated coming to my home because I serve good healthy food! His mom ended up pulling him out without saying a word. It wasn't hard to know why. We had him all summer until just the last week or so and I still shudder when I think about getting another daycare child like that.

I have so many thoughts going through my head right now I'm not sure where to begin or what's appropriate to write. The only thing I really agree with is the chocolate milk thing. HOWEVER, I would use regular chocolate milk and not add syrup to milk. It's really not much more in calories and at least the kid is getting his dairy.

For the rest... are you serious?!? Personally I would prepare meals and snacks the same as I've always done. I'm with you - this is what we are having and that's that. I do make some exceptions when my nieces and nephews visit (one definately doesn't like fish so I make sure that's not on the menu). But I think this goes WAY beyond.

It might sound harsh but I think you'll feel better if you don't feed him all that junk day in and day out. He might too!

Wowzers. I mean I like the foods he eats but not everyday. I would have tummy pains too! The chocolate milk everyday alone would be enough to make my tummy hurt! I am a picky eater, ok I admit it. At first my parents tried the whole "if your not going to eat it for dinner, it will be here for breakfast thing." To this day I still can see those disguisting little brussel sprouts starring me in the face. YUCK. Well it didn't work, and finially they got tossed in the garbage. I also went to bed hungry some nights as well. I did and still do go through phases of eating certain things for weeks at a time. I remember when I was pregnant I wanted nothing but bagels and cream cheese for a month. That was my breakfast and dinner. The other week I ate a tuna sandwhich every day for lunch (and I even had it for dinner some nights). Its just a weird thing I do. Maybe your nephew is going through a phase? Another side note is my boyfriend is even pickier then I am. His grandma (who watched him everyday when he was little) never, ever made him eat anything he didn't want to. The result is a very picky 36 year old. LOL. I know kids that eat way better them him. I will ask him if he likes something, and he will of course say no. So then I reply "have you ever had it", and he will usually say "no", or "its been so long I can't remember". If he has never had it, or its been so long he cant even remember what it tastes like I make him try it. If he doesnt like it then that can be his last bite, but he has to atleast try it. I would try to get him to eat different foods while you have him. If your mom, brother and his mom arent even trying to introduce new foods he will be just like my boyfriend when he gets older. Eating the same things everyday, never trying anything other then what he is used to. Good Luck, hope his tummy starts to feel better!

Wow, insane! But common :( I would absolutely try to get him to eat other things, whats the harm? Is there a tactful way to talk about how UNHEALTHY the food is he's eating?lol. Poor kid is on a path to disaster! Obesity and poor health. Bad complexion, etc.

I would try to have serious talk with your brother. Im sure they all have a 100 excuses, but it boils down to being LAZY!! If he'd like an example, my nephew who is now 15 has been treated for high blood pressure, is borderline diabetic, obese, in horrible physical shape, gets made fun of all the time, rejected by girls, the list goes on. And his parents made the same excuses "He won't eat anything else" B.S.!!!!!!! They know after putting up a fight, you will give in and they get their way!! He also has chronic stomach problems, is sick ALL THE TIME. And just failed his first year of high school! Let your brother know this is the path he is sending his child down. SAD!!!!!

I do agree that the food he is eating is horrible. On the parents defense though, I have a 32 month old with an extremely limited diet. I'm hopeing he outgrows it but there isn't much we can do other than offer him new foods (which he rejects). My son's main food is Yobaby yogurt...has to be yobaby. He will eat a few other foods like cheese, crackers, noodles, cheerios, cracklin oat bran. My pedi says it is ok and normal. I really hope it is just a phase but it has been like this for 1 1/2 years. It's not a texture issues since he won't try the food.

Maybe the parents really are trying but to save you grief brought what he mainly eats. Since he is at your house maybe peer pressure will help when he sees your kids eating other foods.

I had my niece for a week and I do not get to see her very often. I can honestly say when it came to meals it was a bit tricky. Our daughter is a picky eater and my niece is also. My sister and I both take the same approach when we have each others child. We let each other know what our girls eat and how they like it but also encourage them to try something new. It sounds like you are doing the same. I do not think it is hurting your nephew, if anything it is helping him by letting him eat something he has never had before or thought he did not like. I can tell you that our daughter eats more now then she did before. We like to go to Sam's on the weekends when they have samples. This actually helps with our daughter since she is able to taste a small portion and we buy it if she likes it.

Unbelievable is right but....You can't save the world and it is only for a short time, try letting him try real food but as above just feed the poor kid what his parents have given and be done with it. I am sorry for the child... as you if it was mine he'd starve probably /// This could have been prevented but not by you by his own parents...maybe speak to a doctor and find out more info and pass it on to daddy although don't be surprised if nothing else is done alot of parents give in to their children because it is easier ... Suffer the children...good luck. I had a similar situation years ago with a child on ritalin drug... he was fine with proper dicipline but as soon as he was with mom it was stuffed down his throat and he was a zombie,.. poor kid..... Can't hurt to try tho..... P.

Holy HELL Nattalie! Sorry I'm a little late on this post, but I was looking through your posts and saw this popular one. I totally hate that when people get defensive about being yelled at for their opinion and say go to a different forum. Umm hello! Your stating you own opinion!! Just like what Nattalie is doing. I'm soooo glad you stood up for your self and if I would have seen this sooner I would have said something too.
And good for you for trying to have your nephew to try new things. I unfortunately have to do this with my niece and nephews. She is a single mom like me and just makes them chicken nuggets all the stinking time! She doesn't have a lot of time, but seriously all they eat was nuggets or pb&j. She is trying to lose weight and will make her healthy meals but wont make them eat it.

This is unbelievable, hopefully this is their only child! I would try to get him to try to eat other stuff but he has been getting away with this for so long that he probably won't change, ever.

EDIT: Wow Nattalie was really "upset" by your post for some reason. Your post did not sound as if you hated this child or his mom (your SIL), that was a ridiculous statement. Don't let her post upset you (easier said than done). In my eyes you sounded concerned & amazed rather than hateful. Parenting is hard WORK, & to many parents just give in, very sad.

Hi, I know you have a lot of answers here, but I thought I'd put in my 2 cents. First of all it sounds like you are doing well with him. From my personal experience it sounds like he may be dealing with a sensory issue with foods. I have this problem myself and many, many foods make me gag. My parents responded to this (back in the 70's) by punishment but eventually they figured that it was easier letting me eat what I wanted. I resorted to a lot of processed foods which are not nutritious and fattening too. But the best thing to do- even though it is a struggle- is to slowly introduce new foods without pressure. I think that if my parents understood that some food textures and flavors actually made me gag and I wasn't being an overly dramatic brat I would have dealt with it when I was 7 and not 37. Another thing that I find useful is the addition of the sneaky chef techniques in foods that I do tolerate well. Add a protein powder here- powdered greens there. Go to a health food store, there are tons of powders and supplements that can be blended in to chocolate milk. It isn't as good as eating a balanced diet, I understand. At least while he is slowly adding new foods he will have proper nutrition. And talk to him about it. Tell him that that he needs proper nutrition to be healthy and to feel good and that you understand that he isn't eating a limited diet to be difficult. Dont pressure him, but be consistent. That is what I wish my parents did. Not that I am blaming them, back then people hadn't really looked into these issues. Good luck.

I think that if you are truly concerned about your sister and your nephew, you should have a heart to heart with her, and let her know how much she means to you and that you really want to see her make some changes so that you can enjoy many years ahead of sistership.
No, you should not feed her child whatever you want without her consent cause every parent has a right to feed their child what they want. Like it or not.
Try taking a loving sister approach, "not a nagging better than her at parenting attitude."