So I've been with my cellphone company for quite a few years, and I used to have a crappy old phone, that I just never upgraded, because I couldn't even think about standing in the suuuper long lines at the cellphone store. So I got a letter in the mail saying that I qualified for a phone upgrade, and got a great deal about it, and was actually thinking about it, when the universe gave me a sign and I dropped my phone and the screen cracked, like really cracked. So I went to the store got the iphone (which I really like) and got a promotion for adding a line and getting an iphone 4s for a reasonable price. I decided that I would get it for my 18 year old sister, who is a straight A student, has more than one scholarship and is usually very mature.
I came home with the fabulous phones and the first thing she says when I give her is... (not thank you) Why didn't you get me the iphone 5?, Didn't it occur to you that I need to keep my number because all of my friends already have it? (hands in her waist)And yes, I didn think about it, and the guy at the store said they just needed her to call and she'd get her old nubmer on her new phone. I went ballistic, I took the phone of her hands, and I called her and ungrateful spoiled brat and left.
My sister called a couple times, but I didn't take her call. About an hour ago my mom called to tell me that my sister is really very sorry, that she completely lost ground, but that she really wants the phone and wants to make it up to me. I feel I might have overreacted a little bit too.
What do y'all think? What do I do?
Thanks Ladies for your Advice.
Nikki G: I understand your point, however, she very rarely acts her age, she is usually very mature and her acting like that really was surprising, even my mom was shocked.
Dawn: Yes *giggles I do the hands on the waist a lot. hadn't realized it, until you said it. ;)
My sister is gonna get the phone. However she is gonna give me half the cost of the phone (This is a consequence my dad decided on) she put it on sale on craigslist, which I was OK with it, since she paid for it, and got an iphone 5 too.
You guys were right, I over reacted, she's usually really cool, she was sincerely sorry and she learned a nice lesson. Thank you again.
Actually, no, I don't think you overreacted. She WAS being an ungrateful, spoiled brat. But now that she's sorry and sees how wrong she was, the graceful thing to do would be to accept her apology and let her make it up to you. She's lucky to have a big sister like you...hopefully she knows it.
Yeah, on both accounts. She was bratty, you probably over reacted a bit. But I totally understand.
I would accept her apology and maybe something good will come out of this. Like she will be more grateful for the things she gets or someone will blow up at her. :)
My nieces would have said the same thing. Good for you taking the phone back and leaving! I would be mad too.
Sorry, but if my child or niece or nephews acted like that, i would have reacted exactly as you did. I would have been appalled and shocked.
I am sorry, but I do not agree she acted like any 18 year old.
I cannot think of one person in our lives that is 18 or older that would act like this.
We need to have higher standard in behaviors, to ever think this is some sort of normal behavior. Unacceptable.
If you give her the phone, she better have a sincere apology.
I think you are awesome to have even considered giving her the phone.
i don't think you over-reacted at all. your sister WAS an ungrateful spoiled brat.
but if she's usually mature and a great student, it was a cool thing you did.
forgive her and give her the phone, but with a cocked eyebrow and cool warning that you'd better not get treated that way again.
khairete
S.
She acted like a brat.
You reacted.
OVER reacted? Maybe.
But it's done.
She apologized.
What more can she do?
Kneel on uncooked rice for an hour?
Flog herself every morning for 3 weeks?
This is the part where you accept her apology and consider yourself a wee bit wiser about 18 year olds and their perspective on the world!
I think I'd accept her apology, but let her pay for her own IPhone & service herself. What does the type of phone have to do with porting a phone #? I don't even understand her excuse. She may be 18 and a great student that follows the rules, but that does't automatically mean that she's a grateful person.
This attitude of being entitled to things is so common in young people (and even adults) nowadays. It has nothing to do with being 18 & getting a pass because of it. It has to do with how our kids are being raised. I have met 6 year olds, 10 year olds, 17 year olds, 25 year olds and 30 year olds that are ungrateful. It's a character flaw, not an excuse. It's sad & disappointing.
I agree with the other ladies, don't hold a grudge but don't feel bad for taking the phone away; Your sister most likely learned her lesson now it's time to make up and move on.
If she apologizes and is sincerely sorry then give it to her, I really doubt she will make that mistake again. And don't dwell too much about her attitude, she is 18 after all, I shudder when I think back to my 18 year-old self...I was such a douche LOL your sister sounds much more mature than I ever was at 18.
Yeah, ya did overreact. But, I will just bet you taught your sister a very big lesson.
The hands on the waist thing is kind of funny. Did you put your hands on your waist too? (Giggle!)
What I would do if I were you is meet with your sister and say to her "Did you think that I acted mature when I grabbed the phone out of your hand and went ballistic and called you names?" She should say no. Then tell her "I wanted you to see what "immature" looks like. You acted extremely immature and ungrateful, and you need to understand that. I hope you realize what other people will think of you and hold your tongue the next time someone is gracious and giving, except to say thank you."
It's kind of like making lemonade out of lemons. You don't tell her you lost your cool. You tell her that you were showing her what bad behavior looks like so that she can understand what HER bad behavior looks like.
How does that sound?
(By the way, everyone has a bad day and sometimes a hissy fit works out in the long run. Don't feel too bad. And enjoy your phone! I'm learning how to work my new one!)
Dawn
Tell your mom to stay out of it nicely of course and to wait and see what your sister does. Does she really mean it? How will she make it up to you? Is she sorry because she got caught being mean or ??? Wait and see if she really wants it, she will find you and ask you what she can do to make it up to you. Then you can decide. Don't contact her though. Make her come to you....
It always amazes me when people are surprised that someone acted their age.
Like a while back when someone posted, shocked and appalled, that her 12-year-old had the nerve to lose $100 wandering around the mall by herself.
She's 18. My little brother is 20 and he's still snotty as hell. I remember being that way when I was that age. What did you expect?
Doesn't make her right. She should have been grateful. But you did overreact. You could have said to her, "Sister, that's so not the way you should be acting when someone does something nice for you." She probably would have realized her error right then.
She's sorry,, she's apologizing, let this go, give her the phone. No reason to drag it out.
I would have done the exact same thing as you. And I think that reaction was exactly what she needed to show her how ungrateful and, yes bratty, she was being and that she really didn't deserve your generosity. However, now that she's seen the error of her way, wants to recognize that her behavior was totally unacceptable and apologize, I think you should accept her apology and give her the phone. You can always take it away again if she's a brat ;)
I think your sister was acting her age and probably honestly was wondering why not an iphone 5 (without hearing her tone) and that you also over reacted because you felt let down by her reaction.
Call her and talk, sounds kinda dumb to hold resentment over a phone.
I'd say to my mom she's sorry I took the phone back, but not sorry about her attitude and that I returned the phone. I'd give it a couple of weeks and see how she treats you before deciding whether or not to give her back the phone. BUT I wouldn't tell her that. Just keep quiet and watch.
Yep, you both kind of overreacted. You go over there and hug and get over it. She blurted out some teenage feelings without thinking. (raising teenagers is so much fun) Your feelings were hurt and to some extent, rightly so..but you held a grudge and didn't answer her repeated phone calls. As long as we are females our feelings will be the good part and our bad part of us. In this case just remember the relationship is more important than momentary feelings.
I think you did a really nice thing for your sister and she should have been grateful, period!! I think I would have responded the same way you did.
I respectfully disagree that an 18 year old should act that way or be expected to act that way, as another poster stated. IF that was the case, 18 year olds shouldn't be allowed to vote! They are adults and should act as such!
Now that she is apologetic, accept her apology! She probably feels like a big brat for acting that way toward you, but she recognized her words and actions were wrong and she's sorry. You had good intentions and obviously a big heart...forgive!
Yep, you overreacted. You accept the apology and ask her if she still wants it. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a chance to fix it.
Sound like she learned a lesson. You were correct acting the way you did.
I guess as long as she is apologizing, I would let her have the phone. Sounds like she is a good kid. Also sounds like there was a misunderstanding about the phone number.
Your sister did sound like a spoiled brat.... However, she has now apologized.. so maybe give her the phone. Although, sounds like it was a good lesson for her in the attitude of gratitude.. as for you, well.. you sound like a thoughtful , giving person... But as someone who has done a lot of giving in their day, I have had to find a balance.... it's been hard, because I do like to give... but there is such a thing as over-doing it.... just think before you strike.. also, try to not have an attachment to the outcome... I can't tell you how many times I have given a cousin or two or three money and barely got a thanks.. in fact, in some cases in my family, it's come to be expected that I give.... so instead of feeling taken for granted. I now am careful as to who and how much I give..
You most certainly DID NOT overreact. I think you just taught your sister a valuable lesson. I think you need to tell mom nicely to stay out, then you and your sister go out to lunch and discuss the situation. If she genuinely shows remorse, then give her a second chance, if not, don't.
Gosh it sounds like she's just a teenager. I imagine things come out of her mouth before they get processed too much. I would make sure she understood it hurt your feelings when she said the things she did. Go visit with her and let her know you still love her.
I dont think you over reacted. I read your "what happened". If you had not reacted and just gave her the phoe she would not have known that her behavior was inapperoperiate toward you and she should not act ungreatful toward anyone. i woas going to suggest you donate the phone to a womanes battered shelter. but i think your dads solution was fine. the selling of the phone i wwould think was still being ungrateful and mighthave considered making her keep it for a yr. slight punishment or grlesson in gratitude. sorry about my tpying my computer is doing sometihng weird. ?? Sorry Tried to post this when you only had like fifteen comments!!! weird computer this morning
Can she accept the new program that 'YOU" selected? If not I would say,
"YOUNG ADULT"....you are NOW on your own. Mama ...step out of it!
