So ladies have you had or been a witness to any lately
we all know of my past camel toe experience
-the lacey thong that was static clung to my back the other week that my coworker found while in the hall with my bosses and a lot of other people
-and then we have the skirt that disappeared as I walked to my car until I was J. thigh highs and nothing else (in the spring) since i had wings in my hands
and now today I have another
I have a stretchy black skirt on. It does not have a zipper or buttons (this is a crucial piece of evidence in why I’m not a complete idiot). It is J. fitted and stretchy, the kind i thought would make my butt look awesome and take the attention away from the fact I haven’t exercised and toned up=) I danced in it this morning and bent over in front of the mirror to make sure it worked right. I was checking my butt out, not making sure it was too short like I should’ve. I did not have to check for camel toe since it’s not stripper tight. I checked to make sure I didn’t have lingeree stuck to M. and I thought I as good.
I made out fine all morning
Then after lunch I made a trip to the bathroom and someone who works in a department over followed M. in and decided to talk to M. while we were in the stall next to each other. By the way I find that odd. As I was getting ready to come out of the stall for some reason i thought to check and see if my skirt was on right. Well it wasn’t. It was upside down!!! So now I have a coworker talking to M. and asking which type of sled I used this weekend with Emmy while I'm stripping in the bathroom and flipping my skirt around. I come out and feel a need to explain why I was taking so long and also why she may have seen a skirt come off if she glanced under the stall. I think she asked if the snow was good to sled in and I said it was dry in certain areas…meaning that it was melted and wet and not dry. Hopefully after my explanation she realizes I was stripping while talking and distracted.
So anyone else witness any malfunctions or have any lately?
Jo i couldve swore i checked the label earlier. now that its fixed the skirt feels too loose and i feel i might have another malfunction when walking to get tea
gosh nikki i forgot about that. we were at the bar last week and sitting with about 5 guys and POP the band to my bra popped out and i yelled MY bra came off. naturally because i had a few beers and the truth juist comes out when i drink,. its one of those you can put on a few ways so it wasnt broke i J. had to rehook it...but yup that was another malfunction.
I need new bras. The other day my bra J. popped off while I was standing there. Luckily I wasn't at work, because my boobs are big & heavy, and people would notice that.
Love your brave and humorous self-disclosure.
Many years ago, when they were first putting adhesive strips on menstrual pads, I used one and went out dancing. During some energetic dancing, the adhesive worked loose and the pad disappeared. I didn't notice until I went to the ladies' room.
Fortunately for M., it was a dark, crowded dance floor.
Unfortunately for somebody else, it was a dark, crowded dance floor.
I spent about 20 minutes talking to a police officer that works with M.. After he leaves my office, I look down and realize that my underwire has somehow crept its way out of my bra and become a sort of boob bracelet on the outside of my shirt. Um, he is a detective, I'm sure he didn't miss that one.... Couldn't look him in the eye for a week!
Lol! (Sorry - funny!)
But flipping a knit skirt over in a stall isn't SO bad, right?
Nothing to add that could compare to your lust of malfunctions, but:
I wore 2 different shoes to work once and my husband pulled a knee high out of his shirt at work once (darn static!)
I'm lucky I work at home and my only witnesses to my wardrobe malfunctions are the daycare kids (occasionally my assistants).
I bent over one day to tuck a child in for nap and kiss them goodnight when I heard "rrrriiiiiiiiippppp"! I reached back and felt bare butt and thong, no pants. My soft, well-worn plaid shorts chose that moment to give up the ghost and I basically blew out the entire back seam. The blow to my ego was actually worse than any embarrassment, even though my unlucky assistant was standing directly behind M. and of course turned at the sound.
Last week, my daughter asked why the words were on the outside of my pants and not the inside, like hers. This was 8+ hours into my work day. Apparently, getting dressed in a semi-dark room, I failed to notice that my yoga pants were on inside out, so my daughter noticed the tag-free label. I went into the bathroom to fix item before parents started arriving to pick-up and noticed my underwear were also inside out. At that point, I gave up, and left everything as it was.
I have also gone on a day trip and been 6 hours from home when I realized I had one black Birkenstock sandal on and one brown.
ETA: I forgot about the day I met with a lawyer, only to discover after our meeting that I had 3 hair bows and a barrette randomly shoved into the top of my ponytail. I had gathered them from the kids before laying them down for nap and had stuck them in my own hair J. to get them out of my hand for a second...or a few hours as it turned out.
Here I thought only my kids do that. Then again I am OCD about finding the label cause I have some crazy clothes that would go on all effed up if I didn't.
So no wardrobe malfunctions....because I use the label trick.
I have no idea what I do to jeans and the zipper. Two out of my four pairs of jeans have zipper issues! Of course the two are my favorites! I am constantly having them fixed or or wondering if I've lost my safety pin!
Well, hope you don't mind if I mention that this was an entertaining post!
If you don't have any, go to the grocery store or to Target and buy a can of Static Guard. It's a blue can with an orange top. Target also has small travel cans.
Years ago I took a test that lasted all day. It was being given in a hotel. I got up that morning early and dressed up, thinking that if I looked good, I'd feel good, and maybe I'd test better. The morning test lasted 3 hours, then lunch. The afternoon test lasted another 3 hours, and then I went to the bar to have a drink and decompress before heading home. Sitting at the bar, I looked down and saw that I had two different shoes on, JM. One burgandy shoe and one gray shoe. They were the exact same except for the color, which is why I didn't "feel" it.
The funny thing is that I will J. bet that no one else taking that test noticed I was wearing different colored shoes either!
Dawn
I recently had a Scouting picnic to attend. It started right after work, which left M. rushing to get home to put on some shorts and then race DS to the picnic. After getting him settled, I relaxed on a picnic bench. Oddly, NO ONE came to talk to M.. I know all these people quite well. I kept wondering what I could have possibly done to offend the entire pack. Know that feeling you get when people are actively ignoring you??
Picnic finished, left, and stopped at my mom's house on the way home. After talking with her for about 10 minutes, she asked M. if I'd had a hard time deciding what shoes to wear that day. Yup, I had one bright silver sandle on, the other was a brown leather birkenstock style. HOW DH DID NOT NOTICE THIS WHILE WE WERE AT THE PICNIC is beyond M.. I was soooooo embarassed. I mean, HOW does that happen???
Well, no malfunctions for M., but the other day I was waiting at the school bus stop with my kindergartener and as he stepped away to get on the bus a pair of underwear (his thankfully) slipped outof the bottm of his pant leg. I would have died if that had happened at school. At least I was there to swoop them off the ground and into my coat pocket. Now I check his pants every morning before he puts them on.
LOL very funny post!
Nothing to report here . . . that's my story and I'm sticking to it. :P
