"Weaning" Young Son to Fall Asleep by Himself

I taught my daughter very gradually to fall asleep on her own. And she did by the time she was 10, when it was her choice ;-) They grow up so fast, and you will (I do) miss the snuggle time. You aren't spoiling him, you are mothering him.

If you are ready to transition, I think you are doing it the right way, slowly. Sit at the other end of the bed for a number of nights, then move to a chair in the room. Then outside the room. Then he will be fine on his own.

Our grandson is 6 and he still needs someone with him to fall asleep. There will be a time in the not too distant future when he'll fall asleep on his own and we'll miss the snuggle time. I appreciate it while we still have it. Tell hubby it's not that big of a deal.

I transitioned my oldest out of this when she was 3. You have waited until your child is six...I'm not sure why...but I imagine the same things will work. As you suggest, it's a weaning process.

Tell him you will lay with him and read him 1 book (or whatever) and then you will get up and leave. Let him have a nightlight, or music, or something of that nature.

Nothing wrong with walking him back to bed if he's sleepwalking.

My son was like this. I was very worried about it and was always trying to teach him to go to sleep on his own with much frustration. He outgrew it around age 7.5. He is 9 now and he goes to bed on his own just fine. It took a while. I didn't really do anything...just talked to him about how he is a big kid now and I'll tuck him in but he needs to go to bed on his own. He is allowed to read for a while if he is not sleepy. My husband goes in to check on him to make sure he does not stay up too late. I think having a 2nd child made it so I cannot put him to bed most nights...Dad does it. I am putting the little one to bed. When my husband is on travel (he travels once a month). I tell him he can read in bed till I get his sister to sleep. Then I go in and tuck him in and say good night. It's much easier now. I'm sure your son will outgrow this too.

This is just so normal, really. It's completely natural for kids to want the comfort of Mommy or Daddy as their falling asleep.

My youngest was born when my oldest was about 2 1/2, so I was working with him on this when he was younger. When I was pregnant I was rubbing his back and singing to him. I used to sit on the floor next to the bed. When baby brother was born, this was just not realistic. I really did a slow, gradual ween. I would sit next to hiim and rub his back for a few minutes but then stop when he was still awake. He didn't like it at first, but he got used to it. I starting sitting further away from the bed. Once he got used to that I started making up excuses to leave the room (laundry, dishes, needing to use the restroom, etc) with the promise that I'd be right back. I always came back, but I increased the time I was away. After doing this a few times, he would fall asleep while I was gone. That's when I started waiting quite awhile to come back, but I would still check on him. It really wasn't too long (couple of weeks?) before I was able to give kisses and say goodnight and leave.

My youngest just turned 4, and we are starting to do this with him. Yep, I babied him longer. On the nights it takes longer to get him to sleep I think to myself, "Why did I wait so long?" But really, I don't regret it at all. That time with him was one of my favorite times of day. He and I would snuggle on the couch together and watch one of my shows. He would get all comfy in my arms and slowly drift to sleep. I usually sat there with him for at least 20 minutes before carrying him into bed. He and I are both ready for this transition, but I will miss those times with him.

Good luck with your transition! But don't ever regret that special time you had with him. He is your baby, after all.

My daughter preferred me to lay with her and I would try to leave before she fell asleep. Now with putting her sister to sleep in the same room in the rocker she would wait till I got the little one to sleep or I would put the little one down to give her a five minute snuggle time so she could fall asleep. She is turning five next month and just this week has begun to fall asleep before I get in bed with her. What you are doing sounds about right--gradual steps toward helping him be more independent. I think lots of kids still night wake and come looking for mommy though;) Don't stress about it. I stressed about trying to get my oldest to sleep when she was younger than one and put some much stress on myself and on her I fear in hindsight. It wasn't worth it and I've been much less stressed about the second one's sleep (21 months old and just now sleeping thru the night mostly) Good luck!

No worries, and no rush! I still lay down with my 6 year old daughter (youngest of 3) at bedtime until she falls asleep. She rarely wakes in the night but if she does I usually let her lay in bed with us, which usually results in either her sleeping in our bed for the rest of the night, or if she falls back to sleep quickly I usually just carry her back to her bed. Sometimes she'll lay with us for a while and then I suggest we go back to her bed and I lay with her a few minutes and she falls back to sleep and I go back to my bed. But again, her nighttime wake-ups are rare.

As for the bedtime ritual, sometimes I think it's time to wean her from it, but honestly I've made little to no effort to do so. She is my youngest, so this is the last time I get to enjoy these little moments. I have no doubt that at some point in the not-too-distant future she will outgrow it on her own, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can!

My DD will sometimes get up in the night and come find me. Since DH cannot sleep with her in our bed, I will get up with her and decide if it's a nightmare, something hurts/sick, or what. I will often snuggle with her on the couch. She is 4. While she will go to bed by herself the first time, there's something about this middle of the night wakings (not every night) that needs some TLC. DH suggested this AM that I walk her back to bed and the end result was nobody got more sleep. So while I think you are on the right track with encouraging him to sleep by himself (maybe get him a lovie or satin pillow case), the middle of the night may be different. I would have a consistent bedtime routine that is in itself comforting without you having to BE there every night. I started out patting DD's back and then I sat in her doorway and then I left the door open but was gone....it was gradual over a month or two. She was younger, but that may still work for you.