Wedding Gift ??? - Pompano Beach,FL

I'd just give them a nice card and don't say anything about the donation. They'll just assume you did it. Or you could even say something more vague like, "We thought it was such a neat thing to have guests give a donation to the American Cancer Society." That's what I would do. No need to bother them with "when" you gave the donation. The important thing is that you know you're doing it.

I don't see why you cannot give them a wedding card with a little note stating exactly what you stated: a donation in the amount of XYZ will be made to such-and-such. When you make the donation is not important. Just as long as you follow through the donation. Enjoy the wedding. : )

I agree with Jessica B. They don't need to know your financial woes. If they are asking people to give donations to a charity, it's the honor system whether or not people actually do it, and if they are asking this of their guests then they truely do not want or expect gifts-- they just want to share their special day with friends and family. I am not saying anything "negative", but I also wanted to just add one more thing for you to think about... if they had not asked you to make a charitable donation, would you have given them a check on their actual wedding day, or "as soon as you have some spare cashola"? If you think you probably would have given them a check now anyway, go ahead and send that amount (or even HALF of that amount) now because good intentions aside, if you don't do it now it may never happen... and then you'll just go around feeling bad about it.

I think Tammi F. nailed it. That was exactly what I was going to say. :)

Buy a nice card and insert a note stating just that. Let them know that while you are very happy to donate that you are unable to do so right now but you would be happy to do it as soon as you have the means. I am sure that they will understand as times are tough on everyone. Good luck. When I got married for the second time I inserted a note into my invitations letting everyone know that it wasn't necessary to buy a gift and that should they feel obligated that a card would be just fine. I knew that money was tight with several of the guests and I was just happy to have them there to celebrate the happy day with me. Hope this helps.

S.

does it matter how much you donate? even if you could spare $10. i know that i always feel bad at b-days w/ one of my nieces bc her mother always goes above and beyond at b-days, but since i'm a SAHM we can only afford $10 on these things (plus i have another side of the family to by for). but you don't have to tell them how much you donated. if you're going to feel bad maybe a little right now is better than nothing? or just wait until you are able to afford what you really want to give. like the other post said, just don't say anything about it.

I think Tammi also has some excellent points. Another thing to remember, is that you have up to a year (I think) to give a wedding present and I think that would also hold as far as a donation like this goes. If you simply cannot give something at this point, take a nice card. Hopefully, you'll have some money soon and can then give to the charity. Try not to feel guilty and help them enjoy their day. I seriously doubt, if they're asking you to give to a charity, that they would be offended if you gave at a slightly later date.

I would simply give a nice congratulatary (sp) card signed by the both of you.
We renewed our vows @ 15yrs. married and asked that in lieu of gifts that donations be made to the 'Make a Wish' foundation. We STILL recv'd some gifts and several nice cards and a few cards stating that a donation had been made in our honor. We appreciated each & every thoughtful gesture made for us from those we love.
Don't stress...your card will be sincerely appreciated...I promise!

A.

Hi
The key word is "donation" Also you should give what you can afford and that will make it easier for you because then it will come fromt he heart with love and not just to inpress. Just give from the heart.

God bless and have fun.

Here is what I would do: I would make a donation of a small amount like $10 and give them a card with such in it. Then if you feel the need to, you can make a donation later on when you have more cash. This way you have something to give them in honor of their wedding and can always do more later. Everyone is strapped for cash, so don't feel like you have to give a big amount just because it is a wedding. We were given checks for $10 at our wedding and we just understood that these people were strapped for cash. If they don't understand, they aren't much of friends.

NO, NO, NO!
Don't put the amount that you're GOING to probably donate on a note in the card. Don't give $10 now so you can get a slip (which you won't get by the way) in the card.

Seriously, HERE is the appropriate thing to do. Buy them a beautiful card for their wedding. Sign it with heartfelt congratulations. Take it to the reception and place in the provided box for cards.

Do not SPEAK of the donation or your intention to donate to ANYONE. Poor taste.

When you make a donation in someone's name, at some point, in THIS calendar year, they will be notified that you made a donation in the mother's name.

This is the procedure that anyone with a clue follows in this type of situation. The donation does not have to be made before the wedding and the amount of the donation should be exactly what you & your hubby decide it should be.

Have fun!

Just give them a card...A lot of people go to weddings and do not take gifts and just give a card. Later when you make the donation you can then send them something showing a donation has been made. No one should feel bad about not buying a present. Most people just want you to share their joy..It's not the present that counts.It's what is in your heart..Go to the wedding take a card and put on a big smile.

I usually go with a very unique gift. I like to take a photo with a digital camera at the wedding and then in between the wedding and reception I take my camera to the store and get the picture printed. It takes about 15 minutes total and bring it back in a frame. I put it at the head table for them and so that everyone can see it during the reception. Sometimes you can put it in a big frame with a big border and have people sign it. It only costs about $8.00 with the frame and it is very appreciated. Just an idea. good luck!

Just donate what you can, even if it's a little bit. Everyone understands that money is tight. I'm sure they wouldn't care or mind, just you showing up is all they want.

I co hosted a 50th Birthday for my father in law 2 weeks ago. My father in law wants for nothing. We wanted to give him the party as a gift so that people would come and celebrate with him. We did not want him to get things he did not need or wants. We knew that the economy was very hard on a lot of people and we wrote in the invitation no gifts please, in leau of gifts donate to a charity that feeds children in third world countrys. We did not expect receipts that said we gave this much. i would guess that this couple feels the same way. They do not need anything, they just want to have a party and celbrate there love with the people close to them. I would say that if you can afford to make a donation then you can do so. If you can't then don't. I would however encourage you to get a heart felt card and write in there your best wishes. I think that is fantastic.

Well, I say the honor system is in play here. I'm sure the couple is not going to check up on their guests to ensure that everyone has in fact made a donation. In fact, because they are older, I'm sure they would understand that you are still in a phase of your life where extra income isn't common (as a SAHM of 2). So, cut yourself some slack - if you can make the donation, do, but do it for you (in the name of the brides mother) not for them. You know? Also, I wouldn't show up to the wedding or reception with anything in hand to give them and this holds true even if I had been able to make a huge donation in advance. It would be my assumption that by asking you to donate directly to a charity they are asking for no gifts. When my husband and I got married, we asked for NO gifts. We made this clear to everyone who was invited. We had already established our household and didn't need anything (as is the case for your couple, I'm sure). But we had a few who just thought we were being gracious, I guess, because they ignored our wishes and brought gifts. Well, they ended up feeling awkward because we had not set up a table or any designated area for gifts. Nor did we make time in our planning of the big day to give/recieve gifts. So, those who did have gifts just held onto them awkwardly at their tables until the end. By the time they were able to give them, it was just all very awkward and I have a feeling they wish they had listened. So, listen to the couple in your life. They said no gifts. They have asked that anyone wanting to get a gift anyway, donate and you plan to do that. So, when you can, do. I see it as simple as that, but I've probably just informed you to make half a dozen wedding faux pas! ;)

Have fun at the wedding, okay? (No scanning the room for cards from other guests!) :D

I would state a donation WILL be made. Etiquette wise you have up to a year to give the gift.