What a Woman Needs

Yah, I agree with Bug, humor and playfulness are really important for me.

Also necessary for me: Autonomy, respect, love, willingness, growth, and *honesty*.

It's crazy. I'd been doing the push/pull-drag/whip-punish/coddle with my husband and I didn't realize until recently how much I was hiding behind him. I've got me some big intimacy issues (probably obvious to everyone BUT me, ha!). It was easy for me to choose emotionally unavailable individuals for relationship because I never had to get real and present in relationship AND I could blame it all on them. Now that my husband is showing up...and asking for me to do the same...well, it's uncomfortable. Funny.

So I guess I'll add patience to the list. 'Cause right now I need a lot of gentle patience.

The only thing else he could give me is more time. :( And just a random hug every now and then.

We both work hard.

I am perfectly content with that hug. Ya know, when they pull you in and it feels like nothing in the world could actually touch you.

The rest is gravy.

actual eye contact & full "listening" ears on! Oh, wait....that's kids, right?

hmmm, my answer is still the same: please give me the respect I deserve, regardless of my race/creed/beliefs, & please listen to what I am saying. Please do not ASSume that you know what I am going to say.

& as for sexually, it's all in the kiss......

What I need?

Playfulness and affection. I think so many marriages struggle, because there is no laughter and play. When my husband and I were getting married, we promised each other we would laugh and joke every single day, no matter how crappy the day was, or how mad we might be. 6 years later, and we have kept our promise. Love needs humor. I HAVE to have humor, or I would not be happy in my marriage. Everything else after that comes more easily.

I want to be loved and touched without the prospect of sex coming after.

It is great if sex does come next but being loved and hugged or kissed for no other reason is the best!

To be half of our team, working toward the same goals.
And, of course, unconditional love!
:)

What a girl wants, what a girl needs, whatever makes me happy sets you free...

(Sorry, that song popped into my head when I read your post.)

Answer to your question: Be my friend. And be a vibrant person.

Theresa:

Peter/Call me Mr. Mom asked this question. He got a lot of good answers!!!

I want honesty. Deep loving kisses. And hugs. I am a sucker for hugs...

I don't want wine and roses. I don't want fur. I'm easy to please I guess!! Oh yeah - a man to fix the things I break!! Bob is good at that!!

Jo W said just what I was thinking...........

After 42 years of being married I would just love it if my husband treated me the way he did BEFORE we were married! Just once! Don't get me wrong, we have been happily married all these years and are still deeply in love with each other and I can't imagine life without him, but......it would be so nice to get flowers for no reason. Or have him come up behind me while I'm cooking and give me a little kiss on the back of my neck like he used to. Or even something as simple as having him open a door for me. Or cook dinner for me once in a while.

I need to be touched (hugs, kisses, squeezes, wrestling, tickling and sex!!).

I don't need him to tell me he loves me every time we get off the phone, or every night before bed. I know by the way he touches me that he loves me and that I am his forever. His touch can also calm me, comfort me, reassure me and makes me feel safe. He can do a lot with his touch :)

A man who works hard, will stand up for me, will be a good daddy and father...and be mutually generous in bed.

And I can't tolerate jealousy.

I need to be able to TRUST him...and I do...100%.

I had a husband that lost my trust and after that, nothing else mattered.

To me, everything else is just a bonus. =)

SIMPLICITY----Just companionship and stability.

HUMOR--- TO BE SPOILED--For him to pay for a housekeeper, a new leased car every 3 yrs, a gardener and unlimited use of the charge card. (None of which takes place in my home)!

Leave me the hell alone

My husband gives it all to me already...

A best friend, someone I can depend on, a great provider and protector, a great lover, a sense of humor, conversation, fun, excitement, sexiness, cuddles, hugs, kisses, back rubs, smiles... just TRUE LOVE.

I want him to be a perfect match for me, and he is.

...and he does all these things without needing to ask what I want. He's NEVER been clueless about me at all. It just works.

Cant go wrong by being touched right, being worship and love, treated right and to be appreciated for being his, Etc... ;-)

Hmmmm....

To do what he says he will do.
To not lie to me - not even small lies - unless there are presents or parties involved.
To be passionate about ME - to express that physically and emotionally. Physically by things like....touching my face, kissing my neck, initiating intimacy at appropriate times (I'm not on my way out the door for a big meeting, the kids aren't around)
Emotionally by getting excited when I am excited about something - even if he could not care less about the "thing" itself.

I have told my husband all of this. He has some things he needs to work through and...he tries.

I just want him to know without me saying . . . :P

Security......knowing that he loves me enough to commit to me and that he'll be around thru the good and the bad.
Unselfishness- Knowing that he makes his choices based upon what is best for us as a family, not just him.
Time to enjoy each other (non-sexual & sexual)
Words of Encouragment - good words that build me up not tear me down
Touch....holding hands, hugs, kisses
Good provider. Someone that knows, even if he hates his job, he can't quit unless he's got something else lined up that will take it's place.

I am blessed with this type of man. God brought us together. But we are human and only by His grace are we able to stay together. Marriage is hard work, but it's worth it! I wish less people gave up on it and took the easy way out. Okay, I'll get off my soapbox, but I am thankful for my hubby!

J.

Wow. Um....let me think....usually I know what I want from my guy....:)
1. I like the little things that don't even cost anything like...sneaking up on me while I do dishes to give me a hug...carrying things for me; even though, I can do it myself...
2. Patience and lots of it. Some days I just don't feel like moving fast or my brain is on vacation.
3. Respect. That is the most important. I don't like being put down or treated as if I can't do stuff. I also don't like being told what I like or won't like.
4. A soft voice. Absolutely can't stand yelling. I don't even like to yell myself.
5. Appreciate me. I may not be like your mom or Mrs. Perfect, but I do try hard to please my family.
6. Realize I am human and do make mistakes.
7. Love of animals. If you can't love/accept pets/nature, how can you love me?
8. Able to do things by yourself like get your own water, paint, etc. I'm not a servant/maid/slave.

Accept and love me unconditionally. Show respect for yourself and me. Be a good father and a role model for the man we would like our daughter to marry. Love God and be the kind of husband He calls you to be - that means being protecting your family and keeping our house in order. Help me accomplish things in the house so we can spend family time together. Make me feel safe and that you're on my side. Do what you say you're going to do. Look into my eyes and really listen to what I have to say. Make me laugh and help to make our house a happy one for all who enter. Enjoy sex with me on a regular basis. Remind me that life shouldn't be taken so seriously sometimes.

My husband and I will be married 20 years this year. I've never put it down on paper, but I realize that my husband gives me not just what I need, but also what I want. I sometimes fall short and I know I don't deserve him. I don't know if I give my husband everything he needs and wants, but I think I'm going to start a conversation and ask him just that. Great question!

I need my man to make me feel completely safe no matter what the current situation is.

Meeting in the middle with house chores and responsibilities. We both work and I feel like my plate is always over flowing. Sleeping in here and there on the weekend and a nice dinner for two with out me having to ask if he wants to go out.
Just the basics after that...sealed with a hug and a kiss :)

Mutual Respect between a man and a woman are what I think is #1 for a healthy relationship.

My hubby has asked this and I tell him that I have everything that I need already.
Now when he asks what I want that is a whole other story, lol.

What I really want... hmmm... I want the long kisses the. random dance in the rain. the candle light dinners. the kids to listen. the bf to stop that annoying noise... ok good feeling gone

-That he accepts me exactly how I am and finds me valuable. I feel free to be me, that is the thing I appreciate more and makes me feel loved.

-I need more time with him =*(

- What made me feel in love with him, and I am not talking about the first lust feeling but the real "love", was his sense of humor, that he is responsible, he tries so hard to spoil me, and he has tell me he loves me every single day since we married.