What are the pros and cons of having 3 kids?

Updated on June 14, 2008
M.D. asks from Chicago, IL
8 answers

My husband and I are debating on whether or not to have a third child. We see many plusses and a few minuses to having 3 kids. Just wondering if anyone has any more plusses or minusses to add to our lists. Are there any situations that came up after having a third child, where you said, oh, I didn't know that was going to be an issue now that we have three?

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Summary

Most parents are happy with what they have, 2 kids or 3 kids, it doesn't make much difference. A parent of 4 said that the only minus to face is the cost, as most things come grouped in fours and you have to purchase 2. It is hard to go on vacation because more costly. Also, you are now outnumbered by kids and one parent will always have 2 kids with them.

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F.J.

answers from Chicago on

I have 3, seriously i don't htink it matters too much. The older one helps with the younger ones. now the only issues is this I have 2 boys and the 2yr ld is a girl. So no more hand me downs with clothes and girl stuff is super cute and pricey. Today was crazy at the store as she ran off and the boys in other directions I screamed and said find your sister which they did. They do all tend to stay close to each other (not the parent of course).

Car seats are bulky we needed a van until the oldest can be without. Now 2 are in boosters that helps but when all 3 had the big car seats they could not fit in the back! Big issue!

I am glad we have 3 its a fun number. Who knows if there will be anymore... I am not planning it.. of course we did not "plan" the first 3 either! :0)

Good Luck!

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

I only have one child and sometimes wish the Lord would have blessed us with another one. I think in this day and age you need to look at how stable is your husbands job. So many people are loosing there jobs it is scary but I believe the Lord will not give you more than you can handle.

So there you go, on one hand can you afford it and the other hand you can put it in the hands of the Lord and if he blesses you again it was ment to be.

Good Luck,
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

M.,
What a good question. I love hearing people's responses and I hope you get more! I always imagined a bunch of kids - at least 4. But I didn't get married until I was 30 and we waited until I finished grad school and owned our own place before we had our first baby. Now I'm almost 35 - was pregnant twice after first baby(had two miscarriages), and felt like I've run out of time. I'll be real happy if we can have one more healthy baby and then later down the line I may convince my husband to adopt or do foster care. Having said all that... (sorry if that's too much info) - the plus side of two is environmental responsibility. You have enough children to replace you rather than contribute to overpopulation of the planet. (Not sure I totally buy that - b/c truthfully, if I got married at 21, I would have six kids by now!!! :) )

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S.

answers from Chicago on

I have 4 kids and the jump from 2 to 3 wasn't that big of a deal. The only minus that we have faced is the cost. Most things come grouped in fours and you have to purchase 2. It is hard to go on vacation because of cost. Also, you are now outnumbered by kids and one parent will always have 2 kids with them. When they get older, if they are in sports or other activities you sometimes have to miss things or tag team the activities.

It wasn't really a big decision for us and it hasn't been hard - just more laundry ! LOL!!!

S.

Mom of 4 (11,10,9,5)

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Going from 1 to 2 was harder than 2 to 3 for me. Our younger daughters are 19 months apart. There are 3 years between our first and second. Our girls are 10, 7 & 5 1/2 now.

Yes, we have the mini-van and the younger two share a room. Having two under two was stressful, but I find babies and toddlers to be stressful anyway.

We were going to stop after 2, but my husband didn't get the vasectomy he said he would. My cycle was so messed up from pregnancy/birth #2, that when we found out I was pregnant with #3, we were shocked and pleasantly surprised.

I wouldn't change a thing. #3 is such a joy (when she isn't being a little devil). I really feel like our family is complete. Husband got the vasectomy after #3 was born, and I had no problems signing off on it.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have a 3 y/o and a 10m old. We didn't want any kids, then we decided to have one. I loved being pregnant and being a Mom SO much that I wanted another. I was supposed to get my tubes tied right after delivery, but I couldn't (medical reasons). When I called weeks later to make the appointment, I couldn't do it (emotional reasons!). I can imagine being pregnant again (I LOVE being pregnant). I can imagine another baby (some times), but when I really think about it, I'm happy with two. My husband is absolutely done with two.

- We have man to man defense. One parent for each child. Makes it easier.

- Easier to have a baby sitter with two. I can't imagine my 16 y/o sister juggling three! Lol.

- If I'm out with both boys, I can scoop both up in my arms if needed.

- The one thing that my husband brought up about a 3rd (when I was actually able to get him to talk about it) was that he was worried that Ryan (our 10M old) would get lost. We'd have Jacob (our first) doing all the milestones first then we'd have the youngest to be looking after. He'd worry that Ryan's accomplishments wouldn't be as big of a deal - unintentionally, of course. [NOTE: I'm not saying that all parents with more than two do this, so please don't take it that way. It's just one of our worries.]

- We can keep our SUV's and not get a mini-van.

- No one has to share a bedroom and we can still have an office or play room for the kids. Both of us shared bedrooms with our younger siblings and hated it. I swore I wouldn't make my kids do it - if at all possible.

- Day Care and COLLEGE TUITION! Lol.

Don't get me wrong, I know that you can overcome anything if you work hard enough at it and if I were to get pregnant, we would make it all work and be happy about it.

My heart wouldn't mind one more pregnancy and maybe a little girl (I have two boys). But, when I lay it all out there - two is what works for us.

Good luck and really, when it comes down to it, as long as both you and hubby agree - then it will work out.

T.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I am also debating whether or not to have 3, I am currently pg with #2. I am curious to hear what others have to say. The few things I have heard, and these are not deal breakers by no means, that going out for meals is harder since you have 5 and not 4 people. Also that you will more than likely need a mini van or SUV since 5 can't comfortably fit in a standard/sedan type car.

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

I really wanted three and, physically, it didn't happen. I have two. Yes I have regrets but I appreciate what I have. I think, in life, you know when you are done. Sometimes, physically, that choice is different than what you wanted. If you are contemplating it - go for it! Why not? The regrets are greater than making the choice of not trying. Three years apart is a great age difference. Best of luck! (edit) I am the youngest of three girls and have loved having my two older sisters in my life!

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