After reading the post of the mom and make me thing how some of us are better parents to our second kids, I also remember that my first kid got away with many things that my second one didn't....some for my ignorance (lol) others just because different circumstances.
The first one that come to my mind is that when my husband and I got married, he sold his motorcycle to buy her a bed, it was a COOL bed, the kind that the bed is high and you can put stuff under.
It had a attach canopy in shape of a castle, with flags and windows, underneath it also was cover like a casttle and she had her toys in there, on top of that, it had a slide!
Super cool, right.
NOOOOOOO, it was very nice and all but it was a nightmare for me to change the sheets, and at that point I was a size 0, I can picture myself going up the bed under the canopy to change the sheets, there for my younger probably will never have one of those until she can change her own sheets. She also later had her kid bed, since the tall bed wasn't good after she grow, and when she is 15 she will have her last bed as she has a small bed now(at least that we buy).
My toddler got one of those cribs that becomes a full bed so chances are that it may her only bed.
She also slept with me until I got married, the little one never did.
So even if things were different I think that for many things the older one got away with many things that the little one wish, lol.
Do you gave or did things for your older that your second (or third) didn't have?
First child: big shabang birthdays (as mentioned below) -- I hired a pirate, had a huge party for his second b-day, took tons of photos, bought cute toys all the time, etc. etc.
BUT, my expectations were too high and I was on his case a lot more (before I wised up).
Overall, I don't think being the first kid is usually the best. The first kid is the guinea pig, or the "first pancake" as my son's gf puts it.
Aww this one breaks my heart, but my first got to meet my dad and have him as a grandpa. He was called papa. The second won't because he passed away in 2006. But everytime my first gets a balloon from a restaurant or b-day or something, she writes 'I love you and miss you papa' on it and sends it up to 'heaven'. So tonite the little one got a balloon from a restaurant and the older one explained to her what they were gonna do with it once we were home and they both watched it fly up to heaven together. I'm sure he gets the message every time:)
My first born had the opportunity to experience all the good cartoon movies. Pocahontes, the Lion King, Toy Story, Aristicats, Mulan, just to name a few. Now a days, everything is either in 3D or a remake of another movie.
Just my undivided attention. The first didn't have too much stuff, and the second one doesn't either, but for a variety of reasons, life has gotten way more hectic these past couple of years (my husband lost his job, I had to go back to work full time, and my husband was recently diagnosed with cancer) so even more than the regular "second child" stuff, my second isn't getting the same amount of focused attention that my first got at the same age. Thankfully he is a wonderful kid who seems to be rolling with it all very well. I'm lucky in that way.
My first one's baby book is complete. My second one's baby book is about half done. My last child's baby book is...well...I haven't bought it yet (she's 8yrs old). First two were 6 and 3 when we went to DisneyWorld and have vivid memories. My last child was 18 months and remembers nothing.
Our oldest "gets away" with a lot more than his sisters (because he's got special needs). I suppose the younger two find it "unfair" that I help him more with his homework or look the other way when he blurts out a swear word (he has Tourettes and sometimes can't control what comes out of his mouth). Unfortunately for them, I don't care if they feel it's unfair, they still need to do their own homework and I won't tolerate swear words out of THEIR mouths. I hold my son to the highest standard I think he can handle and I hold my daughters to the highest standard THEY can handle. Their highest standard is MUCH HIGHER than their brothers. So I guess a "lower standard" is something my oldest has that his younger sisters don't get...
In my case, it's kinda the opposite. I'm the oldest, my brother is 8yrs younger than me. Yes, I had a wonderful and privileged childhood, so I'm in no way complaining. When I was born and through out my early childhood, my parents were less well off (we've jokingly said my grandfather *owned* me until I was two because my parents couldn't afford to pay for ANYTHING). By the time my brother came along, my parents were doing quite well financially. When I went off to college (never to live at home again), my brother was still in elementary school. He spent the next few years flying first class and eating at fancy, expensive restaurants - same loving parents, totally different childhood experience. Not *better* than mine, just different.
I expect my kids will feel the same way when they're older. Three different people, three different childhood experiences. As long as they remember how loved and cared for they were, it doesn't matter if they felt it was totally "equal".
Hubby and me to herself for 4 years, not having to share our time, attention, etc. Of course, younger will get that same 4 years of us in two years when oldest leaves for college.
Time with grandparents - those first 5 years, the grandparents lived less than an hour away, then they moved to NC so my son only knows them as yearly visitors.
Family bday parties all to yourself in the younger years - those first few years of family parties, my daughter was the sole focus of attention. Then her brother came along, and their bdays are six days apart so the family parties we had when they were young were then joint. (Friend parties were always a separate affair however.)
My second kid has taken back ride with alot of things...same as my third. My first had a big shaa bang bang 1st birthday...my two after, we didnt even really bother. My hubby and ours family are so different. and his parents are divorced and wont get along even for the grandkids sake. my mother in law wouldnt even recognize my thirds exsistance, well until about two months ago, she bought him two pairs of shoes.
So i guess it can go either way.
My husband expects way too much out of my first. so, there are trapped doors to stuff. He thinks he should be more mature. I put this on the fact, my hubby is an only child, so he never got to watch siblings grow up. He cant remember what it is like to be 5 and awkward and learning how to be a boy and a kid. I tend to still cut my first more slack because i am making up for where i feel dad is being to tough. He babies the younger two too death, i am tougher on my littler two. They are watching and learning brother and i probably expect to much out of them. My middle one is lazy. we are working on this! He is four and is just now putting on his clothes, by himself. I had to threaten to take him to school naked or in his pajamas.
