You are wise to focus on those things you appreciate about your daughter: her free, independent spirit, etc. You are also so smart to focus on the big picture of what you want for your daughter: strength, independence, happiness, kindness. Stay focused on these things and on your intentions for what you want daily life to look like at your house as you weigh the advice you receive and the various discipline philosophies/methods. I think you'll find the conventional advice to "win" battles, establish who's "boss" just won't match up.
Some believe peace is a prize that has to be "won" as they "battle" for power over their children. I believe real, lasting peace is a choice you make in every moment, in every interaction you have with your children, not something that can be won by force.
In our home, it is not my intention to be boss or dictator. It is my intention to live in joy, peace, connection and harmony with my husband and children. I tried it the other way with punishments, forced obedience, even spanking I'm ashamed to say. Believe me, happiness and kindness were not the result. Now I create an orderly home where people are respected and I trust shoes will be put away- mine, theirs, my husband's- sometimes by me, sometimes by them, as we all navigate our various preferences and priorities. Without power struggles and forced compliance, my children are happy and kind toward me and one another, they listen to me, and see me as a loving guide and partner. They make choices that are considerate and internally-motivated, not from fear of punishment.
I'll also add you really need to think about why you are asking her to do things. Most parents think they need to "teach/train" their children how to follow directions by asking them to do lots of things. Don't set up these potential power struggles. Nobody likes being bossed around and/or tested. Just model helpfulness and she will follow your lead.
If you're interested in learning more about peaceful parenting you can read "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn, "Living Joyfully with Children" by Win & Bill Sweet and/or "The Natural Child" by Jan Hunt.