What Do You Do When??????....

Cher, you rock! If we choose to see the negative in people, we will see the negative. If we choose to see the positive, that is what we will see. The only thing missing in any relationship is what you're not bringing to it. Be willing to see things differently. Patience, tolerance, and love. We can change the world.

Suzi,
I think you responded to my post about bedtimes, so I'll give you some of my advice. Well, it's not really advice more like agreement. People seem ruder and ruder today. I work in a hospital and I see it so often. People in stores stand in the middle of the aisle completely oblivious that they are blocking the entire path. I felt like it was just me! I tend to just ignore people's rudeness, but sometimes when someone clearing cuts me off in the store with their cart or doesn't say thankyou when I hold the door, I will simply say "excuse me" or "you're welcome". The problem is, then you come off as the rude one. I experience several no shows when trying to sell things on craigslist, so I finally quit. I also on my response to "what happened" on my post mentioned some of the ways other moms respond. Sometimes the responses are judgemental, or even rude. Aren't we all just trying to do the best we can and raise good families? Good luck to you and maybe these posts will make people think twice about their behavior!

I ran into that years ago when I had a homeday care. I took care of that problem by letting each and every parent know that if they did not show at time they had given me I would charge them until either they showed or a phone call back stating they were not going to make it. As far as people being rude why stoop to their level and be rude back just smile and tell them have a nice day.

Suzie, I am not so sure that I would have responded the way you did, in fact I know that I would not.

I think I will begin with the fact that you run a business. You do and you run it from your home. As a business owner myself I have been stood up many times. It is a part of running a business, it happens. The burden of letting it change your schedule falls on you, not on the person that stood you up. It is a part of doing business, like it or not. So when soemone calls me to make an appointment at 6, my comment goes something like this. I would love to meet with you at 6 but I have very busy schedule. I will be getting dinner ready for my family, if you are not here at 6 I will assume that you are not going to make and feed my family. That allows them to understand how important your time is to you, while showing them that if your family is eating when they arrive it is because they are late.

Running a business is hard work, but it is rewarding as well. A part of running a business is not allowing your cusomers to control your scheudle. You know what has to be done when, so let them know you will be doing it. They should be meeting you half way on the schedule. Being stood up is no fun, but when you have planned ahead and move forward with the item that would be next on the schedule, it allows for a feeling freedom. I usually give peopel 10 to 15 minutes and if they are not there I move on, even if it means leaving the palce of meeting.

The next thing, the lady at the cash register. yes, she was rude, some people are. If you allow yourself the ability to recognize that some people are rude, then you give yourself the freedom to not let it bother you. She was standing on her feet all day. Her feet hurt, and she was thinking about what she had to do when she got home and here you came. You had meals in cans and boxes, you were not going to have to cook in her oppinion. So maybe she felt a little tired, a little jealous and it got the better of her. Smile and say, I love it when I dont have to cook, dont you. maybe a smile thrown her way would lighten her day a little bit.

You are not the only busy person out there, and life happens to us all. First of all, to send an email to soemone who missed an appointment, calling them rude, that was rude. I missed an appointment, the day my father went to the ER. I actually missed 3 apoointments that day. I didnt call anyone and tell them i wasnt coming. I had more important matters to deal with. The next day I had 2 rude messages on my machine. I never did business with them again. The third person, I called her and explained. She listened and told me she understood. We are still working together today.

The point I am trying ot mske is this. Your customer may not feel like telling you she missed the appointment because her and her husband had a huge arguement and she couldnt stop crying. Or maybe she fell down the stairs and could not get to the phone. Maybe she was dealing with a child in crisis. Some times other things take priority in our lives, and soem times stopping for just a minute to make that call, would seem rude to the person we are dealing with at the time.

cut peopel some slack, your business will be much better for it and you will be a happier person.

Smiling and shrugging it off, feels so much better than getting upset about it.

I have not read the other messages, I am not sure if this follows the thoughts of others or not. I just know it works for me.

Hi Suzy,

If I've learned anything in this life it is that it is a waste of my life to spend my thoughts and emotions on the thoughtlessness and disregard of others. I spent years feeling beat up by it because I felt I had done nothing to deserve it. We have developed a culture of ultra freedoms for the individual and we do not commonly teach our children how to be respectful and considerate.

When I realized this was a cultural immaturity, I began to realize that I should take responsibility to draw my own clear boundaries if others seem incapable of recognizing them on their own. I also found it never helps to criticize anyone.

So, for example, if I find people tend to stand me up, I start setting appointments with more clarity. If someone is supposed to meet me at 6:00, I might tell them that I want to respect both their precious time and my own, so I have policies for setting appointments. If for any reason either of us cannot make the appointment we would agree to call the other in advance, and, if they are more than 15 minutes late, I will be having dinner with my family and we would need to reschedule. You can just develop the habit of voicing these agreements rather than assuming them and being disappointed. It is as easy as saying, "Okay, I'll plan to see you here at 6:00 and assume we will call in advance if either of us needs to change the time. Since that is dinner time, I will put off my family's dinner for (?) minutes in order to accomodate your schedule. If you cannot be on time, we will need to reschedule. Does that sound reasonable to you?" It really is helpful to get the other person to actual voice their agreement. Then, if they disappoint you, you can email them with something like, "I'm so sorry you were unable to keep our appointment. I hope you were not detained by some emergency. As agreed, I waited (?) minutes. It is my policy to only offer 1 (or 2 if you wish) free initial interviews. I trust we will be able to reschedule and keep our next appointment." This is just one example of ways that you can handle these issues professionally and fairly.

In the case of the woman in the grocery store, when someone crosses into my personal life judgmentally, I like to thank them for taking such a special interest in my life and then let them know that they might want to gather more information before voicing assumptions. But, I try to keep it sincere and avoid the temptation to be sarcastic. Sometimes I might even be so forward as to say something like, "If you are going to make assumptions about me, I would prefer not to hear them. It might tempt me to make assumptions about you and I'd like to assume you're a kind and respectful person."

I just believe that people are not generally trying to go out of their way to insult me. They are just clumsy and I'd like to remain encouraging under those conditions. That doesn't mean I allow others to take unfair advantage and continue to treat me without respect. I do try to draw clear boundaries, but I also do my best to do so with courtesy and some amount of gracefulness.

Much of this I learned from the book I commonly recommend to my clients and on Mamasource, The Family Virtues Guide, by Linda K. Popov. It explains how to use these strategies to raise children, but I find it works in all aspects of life.

Good Morning Suzi, Life is a wild roller coaster ride at times so just hang on dear heart. Yes I do see the rudeness & insensitivity of some people. Do I put it back on them or tell them about it. Nope wouldn't do any good, they would only get more defensive, or start telling you all their problems that caused them to be in a Pissy mood.

I don't think I would of told the lady she was rude, in a email. I might of called or emailed her and asked if she was needing to reschedule. Yes I know Suzi some people just have no concern for other peoples time frames or schedules either. They think we or you can just drop everything to wait on them. I wouldn't of waited to feed the kid-o's, I would of carried on with what you were doing and if she showed up, OK she See's how you follow your own schedule.

Should see us when we get to go to Sam's to stock up. Plus my hubby takes Banquet frozen lunches to work every day, when I buy those I get about 20 or more as they are like 1.00 each. sometimes 88 cents. Who really cares what others think of our eating habits. I would love NOT ever to cook, but I kind of like doing it. We have hot wings and fries alot when I'M not in the mood to cook. One lady asked me about the Dinners at check out like they did you. I said Ya know I couldn't get Paula Dean to come to my house this week, so I called Emeril to make hubby lunches, He is booked too, so I am making do. LOL We both laughed.

I guess Suzi what I am saying is to try to never let someone else's bad attitude affect you. Put a smile on that gorgeous face and keep going, no matter if they smile back or not. Their faces will be wrinkled not yours.

FYI Suzi, My mom passed of Alzheimer's last August, I keep my mind constantly busy, doing puzzles, reading, crafts with the kids, I even learned sign language and I am teaching my gr kids. I also took Brailling classes to translate. All of our minds wonder at times, it doesn't mean we will develop this ugly terrible disease.
There is always something in our thoughts telling us this will happen or this will. I will Never give rent to the devil in my mind to admit I have a fear of illness.
Fear can have no place if there is hope and love in our hearts.

Be Blessed Suzi, keep smiling hon. Will make people wonder what you are thinking about!!! ;) *Wink* *Wink*

K. Nana of 5

Suzi, you are not alone. I agree with you 100% that people are incredibly rude and inconsiderate and it's only getting worse. I have no good advice to offer you except that you must try not to take it personally. You cannot control other peoples bahavior only your own. Sometimes when people are rude I point it out to them, but most of the time, I just smile at them and let it go. I used to work as a waitress and frequently a person would come into the restaurant "mad at the world" and would want to take it out on me. I would say, "Excuse me sir/maam, have I done something to offend you? 9 times out of 10 that simple question would cause a complete change in attitude of the customer. Usually they would apologize and tell me what horrible thing had caused their sour mood. One guy answered resoundling "Yes, you have!" Then he proceded into a litany of offenses ranging from his crappy mother, to his cheating girlfriend, to global warming. Of course, I had no control over any of his issues so I just passed him off to the restaurant manager. By the way, the 9 out 10 that apologized almost always left a fat tip. I think it was because I bothered to ask what was wrong then actaully listened and offered reassurances if warrented. The cashier at the grocery store was way out of line. You should have asked her if she worked for the "cooking police." Or you could have said, "Oh, you work in a grocery store. Stripping didn't work out for you?" Or you could have just smiled and asked sweetly, "Oh, do you cook? What's your specialty?" Life is what you make of it. Dissapointment is unavoidable, but misery is optional. Try not to let the thoughtlessness of others get you down. Just keep loving your life!

You asked what do you do when people are rude, I think you should smile, walk away, and be thankful that you are a polite person with manners. Rude people are everywhere and telling them they are rude will not change their behavior. I am currently pregnant and you would not believe the rude things people say to me, even teachers that I work with can't seem to keep their mouth shut...when is it ever okay to tell anyone that their pants are looking tight? or to ask how much weight they've gained? However, I live with the motto that I am not going to let anyone "take my day". If I get bothered by rude people, I am letting them ruin my day. If I spend my time recounting the rude things people say, I am letting them rob me of my time. I just spend a few seconds (or minutes) when I would be frustrated repeating my mantra, "Don't let this take your day." It always gets me smiling, and as I said, grateful that I was blessed with manners, or at least had parents that taught me!
Take Care!

Suzi, I am so in the same boat with you...I really do not know what to say. The other day in walmart I had a jaw drop moment and I swear I thought maybe I was on one of those tv comedy shows way back from when I was little. The woman ahead of me was buying some kind of spandex/lycra clothing ( presumably to exercise in? ) and the Cashier made the comment that she didn't know they made that in "that size" I couldn't believe that a person would say that...I mean I was half the woman ahead of mes size in line and I think she needs props for making an effort to lose weight and if someone had said that to me? I probably would have burst in tears. If I had not had my daughter right beside me and had I Not been in such shock I think I might have said something. I know that when I am getting service and I find it lacking or rude I usually say something...I have also gone and talked to management. Honestly I do not think it helps much, I just think people don't think of others often enough. I think the best you can do is strive to be a kind caring person, yes it sucks when others do not appreciate it, or reciprocate it...but it certainly beats adding to the other half of it...and hopefully sometimes when you are going out of your way to be kind and polite it may touch someone else or set a good example for someone else.
When you set up appointments though I would go ahead and add that it would be nice if they are going to be late or need to re schedule if they could call or email you...that you set aside personal time and it impacts your family time...maybe that will help "some"
I know that on almost a daily basis I hear a story from my sister on the way people talk about her daughter ( my niece is autistic) or they talk about how she is raising her daughter...when I would love for these ignorant, cruel, non compassionate people to spend One hour in my sisters shoes...yes, there are many days when I feel like all of humanity is on a horrible downward spiral...But I pray for these people who make my blood boil...I pray for more patience.
Always try and look at the positive things...and when you can't see any positives, ask yourself...what must their lives be like?
((hugs)) have a great day
B.

I'm just now seeing your original post, and I realize you've already posted your "What Happened." I had to chime in, however, with advice I read about 100 years ago (lol!) in an Ann Landers column. A writer was seeking advice on how to answer the continual question, "So, when are you and your husband going to start a family?" Ann's advice applied to so, so many questions. With a straight face, say, "Why do you ask?" Then, no matter what the response, simly stay, "Oh" and go on about your business. I love this, and have used it a million times. Some people are rude, but others are just plain thoughtless. This covers all the possibilities!

AMEN, SUZI!!! You know what - I totally agree, you gotta tell these people how awful they are. Except of course when it takes more of your energy away than it's going to do any good. But hey, you gotta try to knock some sense into them! I think we're all so busy that we forget about others, so we need to remind them and sometimes be reminded ourselves. Keep up the good work! I'll do what I can to help you too!!

Ya know what You should get kindness in return! I used to work for Life Skills Foundation caring for the challenged & now I'm back @ Sears Portrait Studio working as a photographer & teaching kick Boxing on the side. I definitely feel your pain. People make an appointment, they should keep it, plain & simple! If someone thinks you're a jerk for alerting them to their rudeness in not maintaining their appointment then I say FORGET THEM! If they act like that do you really want to find out how they raised their kids? I'm thinkin' their kids aren't much different. I know you've got a business to run but you also need to think about YOUR family & YOUR schedule. & on a side note, I wouldn't worry about developing Alzheimer's just because you have random thoughts. It just makes life more interesting LOL. Try calling the person that is supposed to be meeting you & 'remind them' of the meeting . What we do @ the studio so we don't get behind in our appointments is to call anyone who is more than 10 to 15 minutes late to see if they would like to reschedule. This also encourages people to make it on time or to call to alert us that they will be late. Stuff like that might help a little also. It makes you seem as firm as you need to be and it's a little more indirect than outright calling someone rude (although I thought you were entirely justified). Good luck!

I completely understand your frustration. When you have had several instances in a short period of time, it does seem like it is everywhere. For the most part, I feel that people are good and kind and I come across great random acts of kindness all the time. However, with that said, I do agree that there are too many people who feel like this world was made to cater for them and that they don't have to work for things or make an effort for anything. I was a 2nd grade teacher before staying home with my son. I can't tell you how many families I came across that did not take the time to teach their children common courtesy, manners, and general moral lessons. Unfortunately much of this falls on the school and the teachers (especially in the type of schools that I taught in - very low income, parents most often without higher education). I wish I knew the answer to how it can change. I just believe that so much of it starts at home - by the time children are in school and have no respect for themselves or others, it is a hard thing to change. These children end up becoming adults who treat others in less than respectful ways. As hard as it is - I think that having a positive outlook and trying to shake off the people that are not kind, will pull you to seeing the kindness in other people and appreciating that. Good Luck!!

My advice would be to do the Godly thing and fill them with love. No matter how hard it might be the best thing you can do is turn the other cheek. In the end it will only hurt you if you focus on these negative things. Because I can guarantee these people didn't think twice about the comments they've said. So think, "what would Jesus do?"

You are not the only one that feels this way. We have had this same disscussion at work many times! It seems tnat so many people are out for themselves now that they never take anyone elses feelings into account. How hard is it to pick up the phone and say, sorry something came up and I can't meet you at 6? If I'm going to even be a few minutes late for an appointment I try to call and let the person or office know. I always think do unto others, and teach my kids that. But I don't think as many people do anymore. Not sure what to tell you about what to do in those times. I think you were right in telling the lady that a call would have been nice. But at the same time, I've been in a simular situation with a collection call. When we first moved to our "new" house 4 years ago my youngest daughter was a baby. We'd only been there a couple of months and my baby was sick. I'd finally gotten her to sleep in the afternoon and the phone rings. It's a collection agency looking for someone I had never heard of. Wakes the baby. I'm tried, stressed, have a crying baby and someone on the phone that I don't know. I tell the lady that she has the wrong number. She asked me if I was sure that I didn't know the person she was looking for. Yes I was sure. And I hate to just hang up on people, so I kept trying to get the lady off the phone. So finally I tell her, I had to go. My sick baby who she just woke up by calling me is crying. She told me that she had never spoken so someone as rude as me. I thought she was the rude one. After I told her that I didn't know the person she was looking for she kept questioning me. And her tone was just nasty through the whole call. But in gerneral I just always try to be nice and respectful of people. I think most of the time it is apprecaiated.

I have rental property and get stood up all the time. Be sure you have their cell number, and tell them you will wait 15 min. After that time, if they show up, tell them they have to make another appt. I call them on the cell and if they answer, I ask them where they are and why didn't they call me. Also, be sure you call to reconfirm about an hour before the appt. I know it's frustrating, but this is part of the life you accept as being a business owner. My husband is a dentist, and we charge people for being no-shows. It's a sad reality of modern life.

I'm with you on this!!! I try my best to be nice to others & considerite of thier feelings, but it seems like some people just don't get it. It's hard dealing with people that are rude. This world lives for rude people & even develops them by saying 'no freedom of speach'/'you can't tell people they are rude or inconsiderite' & I can't stand that! I don't tend to tell people they are rude, but I want to! Good for you for not fearing these people & telling them how they are acting! Personally I'm too shy to tell others what they need to hear - that they are being rude or inconsiderite.
Keep it up!

God bless!

I have no idea what the answer is. I work for a National Chain pharmacy. People are always Rude. I agree with you, they are rude in not returning emails, I freecycle and craigslist alot and you will sent an email asking about something, then no one will even return your email to let you know it is no longer available. They are rude in Grocery stores, rude on the freeway, Rude in public, rude on the phone. I do love it when I wait on a rude customer and someone behind them calls them on it.

As far as potential clients standing you up, maybe let them know that due to previous experience that all appointments must be kept. You have rules for other aspects of your Daycare, you need to have rules in this area too. You need to have a life beyond the day care.

On the upside, the nicest, kindest place we have ever been was the Magic Kingdom two weeks ago. It was like stepping into a different world...

I agree, Friday night a child called us to ask if he could spend the night, we said yes, his parents said they would bring him over in 30 minutes after they ate, but they never showed up, how rude! My child called 2 hours later and asked when they were coming and the mom said the child was outside doing something with his dad and she would tell him we called but still they never showed or called to say they werent coming. I mean we didnt ask him, he called us so why not let us know you arent coming for whatever reason. Although I am kind of glad he didnt since we were busy the next day. My husband said to call and tell them it was rude but I dont really expect to see them again and you arent suppose to care what anyone thinks about you, just focus on what God thinks about you, and pray for those that think of only themselves.

Suzi I totally agree with you...people now a days are so rude and don't think twice about. People tend not to RSVP on invites either. I was raised in the south and was taught to RSVP and write thank you cards. I've instilled that into my own children too.

Next time you have someone call to make an appointment to meet with you, get their number and if they are 30 minutes late then you can call them to see what is going on. Don't be ugly to them when you do call, but the call will make them think about their actions of not calling to cancel or reschedule. People now a days think of themselves and don't consider that other people have lives they need to live. When you call just say something like "hey I was wondering if you will be here soon, I need to get dinner on the table and didn't want to eat in front of you" and if they ask why you need their number when they schedule a meeting time, tell them it is in case you need to reschedule with them.

Do remember that people can hear your fustration on the phone so smile when you make "the call" and it will help your tone of voice on the phone and maybe end up with a new charge at your daycare.
I hope this helps somewhat. Good luck and God Bless.

This post is so dead on...good for you Suzi for making a good point! People are so rude now and I think it is because we have all become so self involved (and fast paced). It's a "ME" society. I have called people on it before (as I see fit). For example, about a month ago I was in the grocery store where my son (who is 3 1/2 yrs old - such a wonderful age) just loves to be a huge STINKER! lol It never fails, the grocery store just brings out the worst in him. Anyways, this woman, her husband and a (very well behaved) child around 18 months were in a check out line next to me. Well, the mother and father were discussing (loud enough for me to hear them) how terrible my child was being (and yes I was disciplining him). So, I decided that I was not going to tolerate their rudeness and I told the couple to just wait their day was coming because no matter how great a child is they do act up. Then I told them shame on them for being so rude and that I hope they were treated with far more kindness than they had shown to me when it happens to them. As moms we all have days when our children, normally well behaved, turn to little devils in public and make us look like the worst parents on the planet (or at least feel that way)! lol My very long point is that I think you need to pick your rudeness battles, otherwise, you will be arguing with someone everyday - not healthy for you. :)

I have been thinking the same thing. I babysit in my home and some of the parents have no common courteousy. One parent didn't call or bring her son for a whole month so I filled his position only for her to call 2 days later letting me know what days she needed me. Trying to be nice I worked out an arrangement with her but now it seems she is once again back to the inconsistence. She doesn't pay by the deadline, doesn't let me know what days she needs me. AHHHHH!!! It seems to be everywhere though. I am kinda outspoken at times and actually say when something is extremely rude. That doesn't always go over well in this world of everyone thinking that everybody owes them something. I have gotten to the point where I just do my best to be respectful to others and if they don't choose to do the same then that is just a reflexion of their character. I have actually myself had to kick children out of my care because the parents. That is very sad. Just hang in there and don't let rude people steal your joy.

I'm in agreement with you, although I've had years of experience with people commenting on what you're buying at the store. Like you my mom did daycare, therefore we always had at least 8 gallons of milk & people always wanted to know who was drinking that much milk...fortunately my mom always found it funny. I always stock up when things are on an extreme sale & may go into the store & buy only several of that one item & I've had checkers roll their eyes at me. So whqat if you don't cook...it's none of her business! I've always been one to strike up conversations with strangers or ask their opinion about a product & more & more I get the look of "Why are you talking to me". With email you just end up with a back & forth battle so that's losing situation,(although I would be tempted to let her know I didn't want to babysit for someone who is not going to have the courtesy to call me when they aren't showing up) but in person I would politely let them know you would not question someone buying several of an item as you wouldn't feel it's your concern. I'm not real good at reacting to people when they're rude(I was a fast food restaurant manager for too many years), but I like to find a way that let's them know I didn't appreciate what they had to say in way that makes them think on what I said. Overall, just don't let them turn you into one of them - ITS CONTAGIOUS!!, but politeness cna be too!

I haven't read all the responses, but I agree with those who said to respond back politely (be a good example), and to be clearer about expectations in the future. I can't force others to change, but I can be responsible for my own schedule.

Nearly everyone has had emergencies pop up and has been unable to call or email about being late or missing an appointment; nearly everyone has even mistakenly forgotten an appointment at one time or another. It's not always a sign of disrespect or rudeness.

Everyone has had a bad day at some point or other, and maybe we don't always treat people with our best manners. Sometimes we might not even realize it. Sometimes we just are tired, or distracted, or whatever, and don't think about how a particular action might affect someone else.

Some people simply don't think before they speak, or don't realize that their statement sounds rude (4 pregnancies... yeah, I've BTDT with the weight comments, lol).

But wow, I'm a little surprised by some of the other responses. Apparently, there are a few people out there who think the best response is to be rude right back. But to respond to rudeness with more rudeness doesn't help anyone. All you've done is shown that the other person's rudeness is completely normal and common. Has it not occurred to you that this just keeps the cycle going?

BTW, I've seen people in new cars, old cars, expensive ones, and cheap ones do the same thing with the shopping carts. Just because you have a better car doesn't necessarily mean you have better manners. :-\

There also is no need to lie, as someone else suggested, just to make others feel guilty about their comments. Why make yourself out to be some kind of saint, when the truth would do ("I'm just stocking up.")? That kind of revenge is unnecessary and is an insult to REAL volunteers. If you're going to claim you are donating those meals to an elderly neighbor, maybe you should do so.

I think in our culture, we've forgotten that we should be polite and show respect to others simply because it's the RIGHT THING TO DO... any other reason is secondary.

--A.

I agree I think people have became in so much of a rush, and in so much stress that they forget to use their manners. I have also found it is rubbing off on the children. They do not see their parents having to appologize for their rude behavior and feel it is okay. I do daycare too and trying to correct the children in my home only works so long. It is not an option, but they have to know it was wrong and sometimes hurtful. Dont take everything to heart, it isnt just you, I think they have a new group or gang for rude, unconsiderate people. LOL I just choose not to join..... GOOD LUCK

You remind me so much of myself - although I dont have sleeping troubles. You are so right on when talking about people being rude...it is just un-called for. Sorry that you have had two instances back to back...but you sound like a great person! My favorite saying that my mother instilled in me since I was little is - "Do unto others as you would have done to you" It is a great saying - and maybe we should make bumper-stickers and hand them out!!! Or when someone is rude - just look at them square in the eye and repeat that saying...I bet the person would think for a minute (or so we would hope)

Suzi,
I hear you !!!! I feel this way almost daily. I do not have an answer to your question, just wanted to let you know you are not the only one who feels this way!
B.

Suzi, I just want to let you know that I agree with you 100% all the way. People are just plain rude and think it's ok and it's not!!

sometimes it is hard to find people that are considerate to others but there are some still out there. Just think how this next generation will be when parents of these kids aren't reliable and committed. I try to teach my kids by mainly my example that if I make a committment that I will be there unless I am in bed sick. I have pushed myself even when I didn't feel like going but mainly because that is the person that I am. If I have it on my calendar I am usually there. When my kids sign up for sports and complain that they want to quit those last few weeks I push them to go and let them know that you made a committment and the team needs you so you have to stick it out and then next time you can decide whether you want to play or not before you sign up but once those papers are signed you are in it until the end.
There have been a few times where I had planned to go to something that was going on but with the overwhelming fast paced life/schedule we have there are some things that I don't get to do because I can't be 2 places at once but those are usually extra events and wasn't something I really committed myself to where someone would be affected or hurt if I didn't show up.

I think a lot of it is people are running from one thing to the next and if it's not written down and living daily by the calendar then they forget which is why doctors offices call to remind you about an appointment the day before. Maybe you could call them the morning of the appointment to remind them about it that evening and leave a message if they don't answer. When you set up appointments let them know that they need to call you if something comes up that they can't make it and set your appointments after dinner time so you don't feel like you have to wait. That way you can do other things until the person shows up but you have dinner out of the way. If you eat at 6 then have your appointments at 6:30 or 7:00. If they insist that 6 is the only time they can make it then either make dinner earlier and eat at 5:30 or invite them along for dinner and make something simple or order pizza in.
And stocking up on food, I have had that before too but not ususally from a worker, it is usually someone in line. I just simply tell them I have 3 kids-2 of them teenagers and that explains it all. With a family of 5 buying 30 items of the same thing isn't going to last even a week but just looks like a lot in the cart. I buy those dinners too and stock up when they are on sale. My husband eats most of them because he works 2nd shift and is never home for dinner so he likes a variety of foods and isn't going to eat a sandwich for dinner every night. I always cook extra and freeze the extra foods so he can pick what he wants to eat everyday and just grab his food and go. It also helps on extra busy nights and everyone can pick what they want to eat.

I so agree with you the society has turned to IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.
First of all no matter what you buy no one has the right to make such a rude and uncalled comments. I sure would have called her out on it by saying nicely I am so offended by that remark and please continue your job with out the comments.
On the baby sitting, you are doing a service and can you imagine what the people who fail to show up on time for that interview can put you through if you were sitting for them, ( divine intervention perhaps). The one who remarked after your email I take that not only is she rude and you called her out on it GOOD FOR YOU, but she may end up taken advantage of you or try to anyway had you began sitting.
Sometimes we need to remind people of their rudeness and to some it does not matter, so sad.
I have noticed peoples kindness dwindle because of people like that, So my advice to continue being kind and it may spread back somehow.

In not showing up for appointments those people are showing you that they wouldn't respect your rules at the daycare and you would constantly be odds with these people and are lucky that they showed this before you had their kids in your day care.
As for the checkout person, it was probably a failed attempt to be funny, some people think they're funny, but have no idea how to pull it off. I say a checkout person should be polite and not comment on purchases at all!
Maybe by giving the day care applicant so much leeway in when you can meet it gives out the impression that the meeting time is not important to you. Keep dinner time sacred, just because your at home with your day care doesn't mean that your time is less important than theirs. Maybe have set hours that you do new interviews so they feel your time is important too, a good point to get across in the beginning!

I have to agree with you on peoples rudeness. I drove my NEW car to the local Wal-mart the other day. I parked next to the cart rack. Bad mistake. Granted it was sprinkling outside but it still was not a reason to do what she did. I did my shopping and I was walking out of the store to leave and seen this woman put her bags into her older car that was parked on the other side of the road from the cart rack that was next to my car . The cart rack was pretty well empty..she pushes the cart next to the cart rack. She didnt even push it over the little metal bar that is on the ground to make sure they dont roll out. The cart procedes to roll down as she is walking away. The cart and stops like a hair away from my car. I was so mad I walked up to her car and knocked on the window . her window was broke . she gets out of the car and I told her. Next time she needs to put the car in the rack because it almost hit my NEW car. She said she was sorry. I just stormed off. I thought do people have any manners at all. This woman was in her 30s or 40s. Not sure which.

I agree that we live in a different age than even 20 years ago. I am a property manager. I get calls to show houses/apts and 80% of them stand me up. I drive all the way over to the unit and wait 20 minutes past scheduled appt and seldom do people show up. I even take cell phone #'s with me or call to confirm 20-30 minutes ahead of time and most still stand me up. Also it used to be if people did not pay there rent you would tell them pay or move and they would do one or the other. Now you put an eviction on the door and they wait until after you go to court and the sheriff is ready to come move them out before they leave thus sucking another month or more free rent from you. There are some good people it just seems like it is harder and harder to find them.

Dear Suzi,
You are absolutely right! Unfortunately, it seems people treat their home daycare providers the worst. I don't understand it either. But, thank God, you're there teaching their kids how to behave properly! Just think of that as your mission - to make sure the kids you provide for don't turn out that way! Keep up the good work!

All I have to say is...I understand, can relate, and I agree with a lot of what you are frustrated about. I usually fume inside, and then let it go. I know I am the better person...that's how I deal with rude people. There are soooo many times I wait around for people who never show. And then never call to apologize. And when I ask them what happened, they act like it was no big deal. It hurts my feelings more than anything. But I learn to cope. I tend to be a pretty optimistic person. It is frustrating, though, to see common courtesy disappearing throughout the world. And the young generation is full of selfish "me-me"s. I am trying very hard to raise my son to have respect, responsibility, and general politeness. So far, it's going good...but he's only 4, so I have a long way to go! Anyway, my point is, you are not the only one out there with those views. Always try to keep a smile no matter what! Good day to you.

I just waned to tell you you're great. I think the same things sometimes and wonder why I try so hard to make strangers happy. I'm not gonna let the rude people stop me. Every smile you give makes someone a little happier. Maybe its your kids this time.