My mother in law got my 10 year old son a bow and arrow for Christmas. I wasn't to excited about this gift, but she has 3 acres, so it's something he can do at her house. Yesterday we were visiting and she suggested he go out an play with his bow and arrow. I said No he can't play with that unsupervised. She was surprised and seem to not understand why he can't play with this unsupervised.
Am I being unreasonable stating my son should be supervised with a bow and arrow? After all to me it's not a toy and he is not real coordinated, so I can see him accidently hitting something he shouldn't very easily. What do you moms think?
Just to add, it is a real bow and arrow set, not a toy! Also he is new to archery, has had little experience so he definitely needs some instruction! (And no way is he getting near a gun! we do not hunt!)
Thank you for all the responses, they definitely made me feel better and that I wasn't over reacting. My mother in law actually said that "how could he hurt himself, it's impossible to shoot yourself". Which to me really wasn't the point. I'm sure there are ways to hurt yourself, and not to mention anyone or animal that is in the vicinity.
My husband also agrees with me, so I think we are going to look into archery classes!
Thanks again for all the responses!
I agree with you. I think he needs to learn how to shoot it properly (i.e. be taught by someone who knows) before he touches it again. I don't think there is anything wrong with shooting one (even at 10) as long as he learns how to handle it, understands that it isn't a toy, and is supervised at all times. Good luck!
If he is new to the sport, than yes, he needs to be supervised and instructed. Once he has more experience and know how he could be left on his own, with special instructions if you would prefer he not shoot at rabbits and the like.
I think you have a right to impose whatever rules make you comfortable. One of my sons got a bow and arrow when he was about that age, and it could have killed somebody if shot properly.
Toy - no big deal. Real - no way in Heck. If it's real, he needs lessons; he shoudn't be playing with it. It's a tool, not a toy.
NO! He needs an adult there with him! Thats just common sense.
Personally I think you need to do what is right for your kid. My daughter went shooting guns at the range with daddy at 2 years old (yes she shot the gun, while daddy was holding it in her hand). We lived in Kansas and most kids (14 to 18) have a gun rack in the truck they drive. Not a big deal or illegal, and since it was very rural it was expected that they would know how to use a gun. As you say that your child is not to be trusted with the proper use of a bow and arrow, well, you DO know your kid best so what you says goes. Some kids are ready for stuff like that at 10 years old while others are not ready until 18 or older. Each kid is different. Some kids are almost born with street smarts and others would never learn street smarts even if they got hit with them in the face. So what you did was right.
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I did archery as a kid/teen. I would say he needs to be supervised until he is very comfortable with it. It's not just to aim and shoot at anything. Try getting him targets (ours were set up on hay bales), and have someone in the family who is accustomed to a bow teach him.
It's a really great sport/hobby, and no one says you have to be on top of him, you just have to be outside and watch him, so I don't see why your MIL thinks its a big deal to watch him with it. I would stick to your guns. =)
Hell NO! That is a lethal WEAPON. He needs an archery class or at the very least some instruction from dad, pap, mom or grandma--whoever knows how to "arch"! LOL
If he had been around hunting equipment his whole life and has been taught how to use these things, then yes I could understand. but it doesnt sound like that is the case. I would not allow it.
First of all, your MIL should've asked you and your husband if a weapon was an acceptable gift for your son before she bought it for him.
Second, if you think he should be supervised, then that's all that matters. You're his mother. Your opinion trumps hers. It's not hurting the kid to have an extra set of eyeballs on him while he plays with the bow and arrow. Even after he takes some archery lessons, I'm still not sure I'd leave a 10-year-old unsupervised with a bow and arrow. I may put too much weight on the "What-if's", but then, my motto is ALWAYS "I'm not going to end up on the news!"
YIKES! You need to get him lessons w/ someone who can instill in him the need for safety. I wouldn't be concerned about him hitting something... but rather hurting himself!
I wouldn't leave him unsupervised w/ that for at least a year or two.
She's lucky she isn't my mother-in-law. What was she thinking when she bought such an inappropriate gift for a 10 year old? What did your husband say when this gift was opened? Under no conditions should he be allowed to even handle the set without adult supervision. Might I suggest enrolling him in an archery course to learn how to respect the inappropriate gift given to a 10 year old. I know I sound harsh and will probably hear about it but I am appauled with this gift. Good luck.
L.
No you are not unreasonable at all. A bow and arrow is a weapon and if something should happen YOU are responsible (at least for another 8 years) and needless to say he could hurt himself or someone else. I think it very disrespectful that she would question you at all let alone give him a gift like that without asking you first. You are so so so in the right here - in my opinion at least. Good luck and I agree I would try to get him some lessons of some kind.
Mixed feelings. I think I was about his age when I started (shooting the arrows into a hay bale in our backyard). We DID do archery at school back then, and my Mom could probably see me out the kitchen window.
BUT - you're the Mom so it's yourcall. No one knows better than you what your son can handle.
Teach him how to use it then let him have at it! Give him some ground rules (where to shoot, where not to shoot) but then you really need to let him alone.
He's 10, he can handle it. Try not to worry. Before you know it it will be guns. :-)
You know your son best. Sometimes the in laws give children gifts that are way out of their league.
I would have supervised my son, but I think she might have forgotten how it was to have little children? Safety first! I have a 10 year and there's no way he would play with that alone. I'd hide it ..if I could. :)Until he was a little older of course.
But she gave him REAL bow and arrow? 10 year old?
Well, Grandma got the bow and arrow, did she consider getting archery lessons so the child could know how to use them properly?
If you can't or won't spring for them, and neither will she, then the bow and arrow need to be at your house so you can make sure they aren't used without supervision.
After he knows what he's doing and there is a good target for him to practice on withing sight, that might be one thing.
I'm not super overly protective, but who needs to take a kid to the emergency room because he shot an arrow into his own foot?
Contact your local sporting goods store and ask them if they have someone who can help teach your son about safety, if not how to be really great at archery.
Nothing wrong with archery.
He needs to know how to care for and store his bow and arrows, etc.
It's all part of it.
Best wishes.
I love shooting bows. You say she's got 3 acres. If he's had someone show him what to do and tell him what NOT to do and you trust him then he should be okay. But if you dont trust your sons maturity level then it would be best for him to have someone outside watching him.
You are correct, and your MIL should not interfere with your judgement. I wouldn't let my kids play unsupervised. With that being said, I played with a bow and arrow set unsupervised at that same age. We moved into a new home where the previous owners left their set behind. Close to the house was a large open field with a target attatched to bales of hay. I was not allowed to do this, but obviously didn't listen very well! I had great fun shooting at the target with a neighbor boy who was my same age. No one ever got hurt even though there was no supervision or lessons involved. But like I said, I wouldn't let my kids do that today!
Nope -- Definitely an only-when-supervised-by-a-responsible-adult sort of activity.
If it is the real thing then yes he needs to have supervison if it isn't & just a toy then no.
My boys loved archery.
But yes, I guess I went out and did it with them when they were that age.
Least til he knows how anyway.
Sounds like fun!
:)
I know I'm a little late, but if it's a real bow and arrow set, then YES he needs supervision! An adult shouldn't just buy a set and go target shooting without some instruction first!
Definitely instruction first!
You could buy him a toy version that he could play with by himself to start while waiting for instruction.
If your son has been taught how to use the bow and arrow correctly and he understands what can happen then let him go. Look through the window if you want. My dad taught my daughter how to shoot a BB gun and she's only 8. We set up a target that she shoots at and she knows how to use the gun so she's fine. If you want him to take some lessons on how to properly shoot a bow and arrow maybe that would make you feel better. I'm sure you have reinforced that it's not a toy.
In Girl Scouts, we had Archery Lessons at Camp when I was 8. I do suggest he get some instructions. Also remind him to never point it towards any living being.
Once we had been trained, I was never afraid to use the bow and arrows. I again took Archery in College..
