when is it a good time to talk to my 8 yr old about sex?
Now. Keep it light and easy - open lines of communication. The 'talk' should last years with the little one feeling comfortable coming to you with questions or thoughts.
My feeling is you give them as much factual information as they are ready for and keep the conversation an open ended one so they always feel like they can ask you anything. I also beleive if they are olde enough to ask a question they are old enough to hear an age appriote answer
NOW. I would have hoped you would have mentioned some of the basic facts, especially about her period by now (many girls start at age 9). She's already hearing things at school. It's best that she knows that she can come to you with questions.
It is an ongoing conversation that should be started casually when the child begins to express curiosity about sex. 8 is the beginning of the tween years and the start of puberty and that alone opens up a conversation about the physical and emotional changes that will begin happening.
With my son, it was at first, casual, short conversations, as he aged the conversations became longer and, well, more detailed. He is 16 now and we still talk about sex and relationships and their inherent responsibilities. Because as he matured and aged the sex talk changed - the one we had when he had his first girlfriend was different from the one we had when he was ten, etc.
Please don't just sit down with your child once and have "the talk".
Take is slowly and casually and open a line of communication that will continue for years.
I'm thinking around 10 - 11. The communication on sex has opened up with my GD. She's 10 and her class is having lessons on sex and health so we talk about what she's learning. She is really creeped out and finds the conversations embarassing - I've never seen her face so red for so long!
When they ask. Well unless you put up walls and then I have no idea. My kids started asking when they were six.
NOW....
For me, we started lines of communication when my daughter was a toddler. I kept those lines wide open and have.... daughter is now 17.5.
I think it should start very early at age appropriate levels. By 8, believe me, your 8 yr old has heard more than you think.
Bottom line.. do you want info coming from you or peers? It will happen either way... the best way is to make sure you have good communication and keep those lines open for any and every topic.
If you have issues with talking with your child then do it when you are driving or walking in a park, mall, etc.. Just communicate. I believe you would prefer your child understanding facts from you vs hearsay from school children.
Do it now and keep up the communication, on an age-appropriate basis, regularly. It makes it easier for when they are preteens/teens and you need to talk about EVERYTHING in detail whether you want to or not, lol!
Now. Driving around is a good time, like while running errands.
You may want to start out talking about the changes in the child's body and then soon start explaining why these changes are needed and how everything works, and thn the sex info. These can be added on to. Allow your child to feel free to ask any questions.
I also reminded our daughter to not share this info with friends, but toilet their parents tell them. Our daughter said not to worry, she never wanted to talk about it again! Here, here..
Well, my son has known terminology for anatomical parts since he learned "eyes" "nose" "ears" etc.
He has also known how a baby grows in the uterus and is born through a vagina.
This year (9) I connected the last dot for him.
Last year....lol. They are seriously already talking about it on the playground and know a lot of stuff that is real and not real. They have books at your local library that you can go and preview. Check the ones out that you feel is what you want her to know. I think there is a lot more knowledge out there since our movie ratings and what is allowed on our own TV's or what they see when they go to a friends house is way more than we ever saw by the time we were teens.
There is a reason why early teen pregnancy is such a growing social issue. It's even a TV show or two.
They need to be aware and be able to tell someone when they are propositioned or sexually assaulted even if it is on the playground by a person who touches them while playing games inappropriately.
now, actually talking should have started years ago
