What Have I Done? - Cincinnati,OH

My cousin's hubby had a vasectomy after their 2nd child was born (against her wishes.) Several years later he regretted it, but did not want to go through a reversal, so he and my cousin ended up adopting a baby from Central America. I know that many couples would only want to adopt a baby (as opposed to an older child), so if you are open to adoption, I'd consider adopting across racial and perhaps national boundaries.

I think you could have 10 kids and still feel that baby ache when your youngest one outgrows the baby stage. You'll miss the smell, the utter dependence, the miracle that each baby is.

I think you should make a list of all the reasons you thought you were complete before, financial, emotional, family structure, etc. Then, make a 2nd list of everything the new baby would bring (both positive and negative). Evaluate all of this thoroughly before you even bring the idea up to your husband.

Then, if you still think you want another child, figure out if this one will be enough, or will you want more? Be prepared when you do approach your husband for him to be TOTALLY against the idea. The reversal is a far more invasive surgery than the vasectomy. (and what will you use for BC after you have your to-be-determined "final" child? - I would not expect your husband to get ANOTHER vasectomy after reversing the first).

You have a lot of difficult decisions to make, don't make them lightly and respect your husband's opinions when you are discussing them (he may not have baby fever, or may see the financial burdens of educating an additional child, the limits it will add to vacationing, etc.)

Good luck. Also, I do agree with the mom's that offered adoption or foster care for a child as an alternative to having one of your own. It sounds like you have lots of love to give.

I agree with Denise. As your baby gets older and needs you less, you feel the need to have another child so you can feel needed more again. I find that is why a lot of women keep having children so they can always be needed by someone. It is a co-dependency situation. At some point in time you'll just have to let yourself find out who you are outside of being mommy and don't let that scare you. Then someday you'll have grandbabies to take care of. Do some soul-searching and figure out why you feel you need to have another baby. Is it for the baby's sake or for your own?

make sure it's not just "baby fever" since your "baby" is getting much more independent! Google it and I'm sure you will find all sorts of facts. here's O. site:
http://www.vasectomyinfo.com/

I don't know anything about vasectomies, but have you considered adoption. There a lot of baby's out there that need good loving homes. For that matter there are a lot of kids who need good loving homes you could adopt an older child as well.

Just to argue here, yes most ARE reversible. I had my tubal ligation reversed a year ago and we are happily expecting again. From what I know about vasectomy reversals, as with the procedure initially, it is less evasive and easier as well as less expensive than a tubal. My tubal reversal was 4000.00.

Now this list is for doctors that do tubal ligation reversals but it lists many doctors and websites.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.

Dr. Gary S. Berger
Chapel Hill, NC
$5600 (discount fee due within 24 hours of scheduling)
$6600 (standard fee due 3 weeks prior to surgery)

Fee Includes:
•Preoperative record review and consultation
•Dr. Berger's surgical fee
•Anesthesiologist's and nurse anesthetist's fees
•Surgical supplies
•Operating facility fees
•Postoperative pain medication and antibiotics
•Follow-up care
Financing: They offer a "pre-payment account." To open this account one would send $100 non-refundable payment and then send payments in any amount you choose, whenever you choose. The fee must be paid in full three weeks prior to scheduled surgery.

Success rates: (by age and method of tubal ligation)
Ring/Clip Method: Under 30 - 86%, 30-34 - 82%, 35-39 - 71%, Over 40 - 43%
Ligation/resection: Under 30 - 74%, 30-34 - 66%, 35-39 - 62%, Over 40 - 36%
Coagulation: Under 30 - 74%, 30-34 - 74%, 35-39 - 60%, Over 40 - 30%

Website: http://www.tubal-reversal.net/

-------------------------------
Dr. Richard M. Levin
Louisville, KY
$6,200 outpatient (inpatient - $6,700.00)

Fee Includes:
•Dr. Levin’s surgical fee
•Preoperative blood work
•Operating room fee
•Anesthesiologist’s fee
•Medications
•Recovery room fee
•Postoperative stay in the hospital (inpatient package)
•Stay at the Inn at Jewish Hospital both before and after the procedure (outpatient package)
•Post-operative wound care by Dr. Levin
•Post-operative pain pills
Financing: They offer a 24-month pre-payment plan (the rate is locked in when you start paying).

Success rates: They claim "America's Highest Success Rates"

Website: http://www.babies-by-levin.com/

--------------------------
Dr. William Greene
Lakeshore Tubal Reversal Center
Gainesville, Georgia
$6,300

Fee Includes:
•All lab work
•Anesthesia services
•Doctor's fee
•2 Night Hotel Stay
•Initial evaluation and exam
•Medicines
•Use of Surgical Center
•Dye testing of the repaired tubes to make sure they are open
•Multiple layer repair of the fallopian tubes
Financing: "We will help you save for your reversal. We require that you make an initial payment of $500 and then you can pay as little as 100 dollars a month."

Success Rates: No information about success rates on website

Website: http://www.pregnantagain.org/

---------------------------
Dr. Edward A. Zbella and Dr. Mark D. Sanchez
Clearwater Florida
$5,500 fee (or $6,500 for high risk patients)

Fee Includes:
•Consultation fee
•Tubal reversal surgical fee
•Anesthesia fee
•Operating room fees
•Hospital fees
Financing: No financing information on website

Success Rates: "Overall pregnancy rate is approximately 70%"

Website: http://www.TubalReversalExperts.com

--------------------------
Cleveland Clinic
Cleveland, OH
$6,250

Fee Includes: All professional and hospital fees

Financing: No financing information on website

Success Rates: "Under optimal conditions, the pregnancy rate is 75 to 80 percent"

Website: http://www.clevelandclinic.org/surgery/news/tubal.htm

--------------------------
Dr. Bernard L. Rosenfeld
Houston, TX
$6,000

Fee Includes: pre-operative lab work, surgeon’s fee, anesthesia fee, operating room and post-operative care through the evening of the surgery

Financing: “A $1000 deposit is required to schedule the surgery. The balance of $5000 is due in full 2 weeks prior to the procedure. If canceled, $200 of the deposit is non-refundable. $800 will be refunded to you providing 2 weeks notice is given. If less than two weeks notice is given the entire deposit is forfeited.”

Success rates: did not see any posted on web site.

Website: http://www.rosenfeldmd.com/1-0_tubal.htm

--------------------------
Dr. Michael Vermesh and Dr. Eliran Mor
Los Angeles, California
$8000.00

Fee Includes:
•Consultation fee
•The Center for Fertility and Gynecology surgical fee
•Operating room fees
•Hospital fees
•Postoperative follow-up
Financing: No financing information on website

Success Rates: "Pregnancy rates in the range of 70% are achieved"

Website: http://vermesh.com/tubal_reversal_main.html

---------------------------
Donald I. Galen, M.D.
San Francisco, CA
$10,900

Fee Includes:
•Surgeon's fees
•Anesthesia
•Operating room fees
•Recovery room fees
•Initial consultation fee
•Followup posteroperative physician visits
Financing: No financing information on website

Success Rates: "In women under age 38, average pregnancy rates in our program are 75%"

Website: http://www.rscbayarea.com/articles/micr ... _0499.html

------------------------
Dr. Roberto Perez
Rio Bravo, Mexico
$2150

Fee Includes: This price includes all of your fees including lab work, hospital, doctors fees, etc.

Financing: None

Success Rates: None given on website

Website: http://www.riobravoreversal.com/

------------------------
Dr. Dennis L. Streeter
Merrillville, IN
$4300.00

Fee Includes: "Price does not include pre-surgical testing. Testing should be performed at location near you within 30 days of surgery." Fee covers procedure, facility and anesthesiologist costs.

Financing: No financing information

Success Rates: Website says "High Success Rate"

Website: http://www.surgicalreversal.com/ (They have the sweetest pictures on this site. You should check it out just for that reason!)

-------------------------
Washington Fertility Center
Annandale, VA * Reston, VA * Leesburg, VA * Hagerstown, MD * Rockville, MD
$6,900

Fee Includes: This fee is "all inclusive"

Financing: Website states that "financing is available."

Success Rates: "Together, our team of doctors has over 35 years of experience and a success rate of over 90%."

Website: http://www.washfertility.com/pages/serv ... l-rev.html

Dr. Sherman Silber with The Infertiltiy Clinic of Saint Louis, MO http://www.infertile.com/treatmnt/treats/tubalrev.htm
This guys success rate is about 95% for the trs!!!

Dr. Michael Doody with Center for Reproductive Medicine in Knoxville, TN
http://www.tubalreversal.com/
This guy offers a $3500 refund if once in surgery he finds that the tubes can not be repaired or 3500 toward an IVF cycle. Also, if no conception after 1 year, he will check the tubes again if they are blocked he will give you 3500 refund or that toward a IVF cycle.
$7,000 all inclusive

Fertility Center of Florida in Sarasota
http://www.drpabon.com/fcs-prices.htm
This guy offers a $1000 toward an IVF cycle if he does the tr and you haven't conceived after 1 year.
All-inclusive 4,500

Southeastern Center for Fertility and Reproductive Sugery Knoxville, TN.
http://www.baby4me.net/index.shtml
This guy offers a $500 discount for a friend referal if the treatment is scheduled for the same day.

Outpatient Surgical Center in San Dimas, CA
http://www.cosmetic-plastic-surgical-ce ... ersal.html

Nashville Fertility
http://www.nashvillefertility.com

Dr. Barry Ripps is in Pensacola, FL. http://fertilityleaders.com/ Cost $5900 all inclusive

Dr. Edward Moore is in Columbia, S.C. http://www.infertility-sc.com/index.htm Cost $5900 , but there is a $400 discount for paying cash, c/c, money order, etc. They also offer financing.

South Jersey Fertility Center in N.J. http://www.sjfert.com/index.htm Cost $7485

In North Carolina
http://www.reversemytubes.com/

Dr. Liu with University Hospitals in Cleveland, Ohio The charge is $7500
http://www.uhhospitals.org/tabid/1709/p ... fault.aspx

Arkansas Fertility & Gynecology
http://www.arkansasfertility.com/tubal-reversal.html
Their site says they do it for $6,200

North Carolina
http://www.nccrm.com/
4900.00

There's also another one in Bedford, TX near the DFW area.
http://www.tubalreversalusa.com/
Estimated cost - $6200 - excluding pre-op consult and semen analysis

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morgan City, LA
$5250
http://www.mybabydoc.com/index_reversal ... ation.html

A Master List by State
http://www.ihr.com/infertility/provider ... ersal.html

No matter what decisions we make at any time in our lives, the possibility exists that we'll regret it later. That could even include the decision to have another baby. If another baby ends up being impossible, for whatever reasons, I hope you discover that you can still be happy and fulfilled.

An unfortunate truth about being a thinking, feeling human is that the grass is frequently a little greener when it seems out of reach. I've learned that practicing attentive gratitude makes my life richer, fuller, happier. Total commitment to whatever decisions I make is fulfilling, whether that choice is to have more of something, or less. Wishing for what I don't have guarantees unhappiness. This is true of babies, relationships, material goods, popularity… everything.

I've experienced that baby ache – in fact, I've been feeling it now that my 4yo grandson is no longer a baby. I can hold that ache happily in my heart when I realize it's as much my love of my memories of his babyhood as it is about actually having another baby available to cuddle.

So good luck with your quest. But if you don't end up having another one, there are plenty of precious babies who could benefit from your tender love. You might consider volunteering in a hospital nursery, cuddling babies born to substance-abusing mothers. You could make a lasting difference in some of those little lives.

is from about
6,000-10,000

Just keep in mind that a vasectomy is not considered to be reversible like another poster said. It is considered to be permanent and is not a quick snip like the initial surgery. I know at least two people who tried to reverse it and it did not work at all. There was a lot of heartache and money involved. Have your husband go talk to a urologist to get an idea of what can be done and cost and then discuss what you might do if it doesn't work.

Okay...I am going to shoot from the hip and you may not like the answer. You need to ask yourself "Are my children happy? Does my family live comfortably? Can my husband and I afford to put any and all kids through college? Where are am I at in my marriage?"

Every woman gets the baby ache at one point after age thirty. I have one child and my husband and I agreed we could only have one. He willingly had a vasectomy when my daughter was four. I get the baby ache all the time but I am not so selfish as to have my husband go through a procedure that will only cause him pain. Yes it is just as painful as the first time. Plus a new child would only completely change the entire dynamics of your family. Would you seriously be willing to do that because you want to feel a baby kick, or have that nussle on your neck, or have a tiny being completely depended on you? You are living in the now and you need to think about the future. Don't completely change your life because of a simple ache. I am 38 and I have lived through eight years of the baby ache. What keeps me focused is my family that I have. By saying that you want another baby, you are telling your children that they are not enough. You were blessed with the children that you have and you need to focus on them. No your selfish need.

No idea how much it cost. My husband also had a vasetomy after our third child. We would of liked a fourth child if we would of started earlier having kids.
I heard that it doesnt hurt having it reversed.

My husband had this done, and it worked for us. It cost about $7,500 and was done in an outpatient surgical center. Full anesthesia, and it took several hours. About a day in bed with ice, then no heavy lifting and supportive undergarment (jock strap or tight athletic briefs) for several weeks. It took us about 9 months to get pregnant following the surgery (I think there was a six or eight week no-sex rule too)... it can take the little swimmers a while to get back into full swing! Good luck!

Hi Sarah, the good news is that there is a reversal process and you can get the family you want. And he's only 2.2 years and that's a good gap. I don't know personally of anyone, but I had come across a site that might give you valuable information: http://bit.ly/9ARZQy hope this helps.

I don't know much except they are 80-85% reversible. Good Luck:)

My friends brother had his reversed and it was $3,000. I have a friend going through the same thing. Her husband actually agreed to having his reversed but after talking it over she felt bad and decided against. If you're a Christian pray about it before talking to hubby. You don't want to cause any tension in the household.

I had the worst experience having my tubes reversed in Gainesville, Georgia.
Many false promises were given to me. I spent thousands and the surgery failed. I have been having pain in the same area where the doctor left steel surgical clips inside me. He did not inform me. I found out by an x-ray taken.
When I called the doctor and I called several times before reaching him, he laughed at my concerns. When I questioned the false promises, he remained silent. When I told him the surgery failed, he coldly replied, "It happens."
My advice is to talk to more than one doctor and if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.