My husband and I have a 3 years old boy with speech delay. Last week we had an appointment with a Developmental Pediatrician which we had to wait for long time to be seen by her. After she evaluated our son, she gave us questionnaires to be completed by us and one by our son's teacher. Our son has been going to a Special Ed school through the county for about 6 month now. We sent the form with our son yesterday and the teacher completed it and sent it back. Oh boy how we were shocked to read the report. It is as if we are reading about some other boy. Nothing she puts described our son. He goes to school twice a week for half day each. Every time, she has been sending us her own daily report how our son did for that day. We have been saving those. What yesterday wrote was totally different. It is not only different, it was totally untrue. For example, the report asked if he has an usual behavior, she stated that he is spinning toys all day long and chews not edible items. On the questionnaire, it asks if he gazes or stares at nothing for long time, she said yes, it asks if he does not show any affection towards to people, she said he does not, it asks if he is unaware of what is going on, she says yes, etc... the list goes on and on. Believe me, if our son was showing these behaviors, I was not going write this but he does not. He does plays with toys appropriately, he DOES NOT put anything into his mouth other that food (even when he was younger and we always thought we were lucky) he is a very loving boy. He hugs and kisses people all the time. He loves playing with other children. He is very smart for his age and is well aware of what is going on around him, etc Ok, may be you will think we are the parents and we are not seeing all these... but why all these behaviors were not included in her everyday notes, OR even on her evaluation report that she presented just few weeks ago for the county. We were in the meeting to go over it and how his next school year will be and none of these was mentioned. My husband called her yesterday and told her how we felt. She defended herself by saying that she has to be honest and there isn't anything that she can do. She also said that she was not trying to diagnose him. But to us, she kind of did. We were not asking her to not be truthful, we just wanted to find out if she has seen these behaviors, why we were not informed. At the last meeting with her and a representative from the county, we were told that he will not qualify for a summer school because his situation was not that severe. But after we read this, if she thinks that our son behaves this way, why was he denied for the summer session. Any way my husband requested a meeting with her and she agreed. He went to school yesterday. While they were going over the report, he said for all questions she was saying "oh, i didn't mean to put that" and changed almost everything. My husband said to her that how can she make this kind of mistake and she answered that she was in a hurry when she was filling it out. In a hurry? our son's evaluation by the doctor was relying on the information she was going to provide? how can she not cared? What was she thinking? We know he has some kind of developmental delay and that is why we are trying to figure it out with the help of the doctor but we certainly do not want our son wrongly diagnosed with something he does not show. I guess I am so bothered by it and I wanted to see how you guys will handle this situation?
P.S. I am a long time member here but I just opened a new account with a 12345 zip code just to be safe since this is a delicate matter.
Thank you for your help
Just to clarify, what bothered us the most is that if she feeling the way she described him on the first report, why did she change every question again? My husband asked her if what she wrote on the first report is true and may be he shows these behavior in school. She said no, he does not. She just said I was in a hurry when completing it and I made a mistake. Now we are confused which way is true? Did she change it becasue my husband said why he did not qualify for the summer school or did she change it because she made a mistake or did she change it because she still did not care and wanted to please my husband?
Is it possible that she read the scale backwards? For example, if 1=often, 2=some, 3=a little, 4=rarely, 5=never.....and she answered as though 5=often and 1=never? It's a common mistake. Still, if thus is the case, the way she handled it is terrible!!!!
Good thing you and your husband went in and spoke with her. I was GOING to say that maybe he acts differently when he is at school...but since your husband went in and spoke with her and she CHANGED everything than I would most definetly go and speak with her principle at the school.
I am really annoyed that her response was that she was in a hurry! REALLY? Than take a few days to fill the damn thing out. This is your son's education we are talking about.
ABSOLUTELY go and speak with her boss...and if he/she doesn't listen than speak to their boss. That kind of behavior is not acceptable.
L.
She is trying to get him labeled autistic. If I may project a bit of my experience onto your issue it was most likely the last class she took or the only disorder she understands.
My son has PDD or autism spectrum disorder but to speak to his preschool teacher he was rain man. She would let the other kids pick on him but then report he self-isolates. Yeah cause all kids love to hang out and be picked on. He ran his fingers down books that he walked by, yeah, so do I and I only have ADD. He doesn't make eye contact, another ADD. She would go on ad nauseum about all the signs that showed he was autistic.
I fought like the protective mom I am, I left no doubt in the minds of his elementary school that the truth did not lie in her reports. They designed a plan that laid in the middle of what we both reported and then had to change the whole thing when they realized mom really did give the accurate report.
His kindergarten teacher was so mad at her for the things she said about Andy that in a meeting a year later about another "autistic" child the teacher laid into her big time.
What I am saying is it was a mess, keep fighting for your son.
I would ask to speak to her supervisor. If she backtracked once you called to discuss this (I would have called, too) then one of those evaluations is not accurate and that matters to your son's education. If she "didn't mean" to answer the way she did, then she's not doing her job or taking it seriously. Overworked, maybe. But that doesn't explain the huge differences in her evals. You can say a kid is great just as quickly as the kid has issues.
I like the idea of writing it all out and presenting it and a copy of the evaluations (both the ones that never mentioned any of this) and the new one and your concern that she's leading a diagnosis for some reason instead of answering honestly and she can't even stand by her answers when you call her about it. Keep copies in case they get "lost".
I also think you need to discuss this situation with the developmental pediatrician since you cannot seem to rely on the teacher for a proper evaluation so what are your options?
Something I have learned is no matter where your kid is, you need to fight for them sometimes, but even more so if you need an IEP. Stay on top so your son gets what he needs and deserves. Sure he can be different at home vs school, but this is comparing two of HER reports. Something is wrong with her evaluations.
Here is a bit of sad honesty: I don't put much stock in the evaluations from the teachers and neither do the developmental specialists my son is evaluated by. Teachers in the public school system are overworked and often have an agenda. They are also not developmental specialists.
I would definitely write a letter outlining your concerns and send it through the mail with a copy to her supervisor. If this is a trend with her, there needs to be a paper trail.
Other than that, I would let it go. Explain the situation to the developmental pediatrician and you will probably get a knowing nod and move on.
Sorry you have to deal with this.
WOW! I am shocked and appauled that a teacher would be so lackidasickle about something so very important to you, your husband and espcially to your child when he goes to the doctor.
I do not think that you are over-reacting, this is your child! Your number one concern, priority, and love of your life, needs help and this teacher is treating it like it is "not worthy of her full attention and time".
If it were me, and this were happening to my child, I would have a meeting with the principal at the school without the teacher first, then ask that the teacher be brought in to explain herself to the principal/her superior. And if this doesn't get you anywhere go to the school board and speak with someone there...this to me is a very serious issue and could cause a misdiagnosis for your son. And could cause very bad reprecussion if he were to be put on the wrong meds, just because she is being lazy, inconsiderate, and unprofessional.
If you don't get satisfaction from the school board (she needs some form of written reprimand in her file for this!) then I would go to the television stations and ask to tell your story but keep your identity hidden if you don't want others to know who you are!
Just my humble opinion, I am very passionate when it comes to my child and from your post, it seems that you are too!
Best of luck to you sweetie and let me know how it goes or what you decide,
Julie Lynn
Lexington Ky
www.lexingtongotogirl.blogspot.com
I would be extremely cautious about this teacher and her actions/words.
I'd want to know exactly why she's saying one thing on a piece of paper that's to go to the specialist and then recanting, justifying that recanting by saying she was in a hurry. Completely unprofessional.
I wonder if it's a form that she has to complete fairly often and therefore has a "template" she uses - and inadvertently gave the wrong report when she submitted?
I doubt she'll want to admit to that but i bet if she works in a 'special needs' environment that she has these on file and just 'pulls out' the one she thinks best matches the child. She obviously messed up and is now embarassed and probably worried you and your husband are going to report her for negligance.
Good for you for stepping up and getting clarification - you know your child best of all and if he was exhibiting these kinds of behaviors it wouldn't be only during school - these types of disorders are pervasive.
good luck in getting him the help he needs.
Sounds to me like she got your child confused with another child. How scary is that? I would request a meeting with her supervisor and find out why this discrepency. In addition, I would request a different teacher for your son. I would have lost any confidence that I had in her.
Have your child re-evaluated (independently) as soon as possible.
Blessings......
I would make sure that the teacher knows you WANT an honest report so you can get the appropriate services for your son. Tell her you're not going to even read it until it's been read by the ped.
If she feels she has been honest, turn it over to the pediatrician.
That's what I'd do.
First of all the teacher's reports isn't going into some file that will haunt your child for the rest of his life. The physician will evaluate your son herself - but since there are different environments that your son will be in the teachers comments will help.
Keep in mind the teachers comments to you each day are to encourage you and your child and let you knwo of all of the positive stuff that's going on. The report for the developmental pediatrician is mroe about anything on the edge of developmental issues. IMO she changed commnets on the report becuase she had an upset dad on the phone and didn't want a confrontation. Children have different behaviors based on where they are - don't you? Are you a differnet person in chruch, versus the backyard, versus the grocery store or bar? Of course - when at school your son doesn't have his mom there watching, correcting, guiding, etc.
Finally - it could be that the teacher is trying to get your child services and maybe she knows that budgets are tight and unless behaviors are a certain way the services won't be aproved.
I would say to go with the teachers original report - her answers were her first instinct and that may reflect how your son is at the extremes when not under guidence of loved ones - and a typical school classroom offers very little personal guidence. He's 3 - not 12. Don't allow yourself to get anxious about this.
We have been thru this with all 3 of our kids. My step dtr is 15, moderate retarded so she is evaluated annually. My 11 yo is ADD and we are currently in the process of having our 8 yo evaluated for ADHD. All of our kids reports that the teacher filled out came back not only different than what we filled out but things on there that we didn't know either. The fact is, kids are different at school than at home. Its a different enviroment and different situations. So that is normal. There is no reason for the teacher to lie on these forms. I know its hard to accept that fact that our kids may have "issues" but its more important to focus on the fact that they need to be addressed and handled appropriately, which is why you are doing what you are doing. So try not to take anything personally and keep getting the help your son needs. Good luck.
There could be so many things going on here.
1. The teacher could be right since she deals with him IN a classroom setting and where it might be uncomfortable for your son to "fit in"
2. You could be right about your perspective because you are with your son, you know him and you see him interract IN a comfortable setting.
3. You should take both evaluations and weigh them based on situations. You can let the development Pediatrician know that you do not think all of this is true of your son. Call the teacher and have her explain her report/findings and see what her real motive is behind it.
Is she bias because she does not know how to deal with a delayed child
Is she honest and want him to be professionally evaluated and this is her chance to do so.
I know how you would feel offended by the comments, but you are the parent, and you should take the measures you see fit to remedy the situation with your son. Don't take someone else's word as law, but don't ignore it either. Use your best judgement and do what you think is best for your son.
I don't know this teacher, or your child. what you might want to do is ask her to make a list of behaviors that she does see that she thinks he needs extra help with.
I have filled out forms like that before and found them very difficult, because i always try to look at what is happening in the situation or the child's life on why he might be spinning things or chewing things. The form doesnt give you aplace to say "joey bites his fingers when he's scared when we have a fire drill" it just says does he chew on things, well Yes he does, does he do it all day, no. its' really hard at that age to say what is just beign a 3 yo and what is a sign of something else.
I will also say from the forms i've filled out for my own children, the more severe it looks the more help you get. Suzie might only sit in the corner and rock 2 times a month but the fact that she does it at all is a sign that she needs some help. and if it gets blown off, then they might not get serivices.
sounds like a bad situation, BUT that form was only a small part of the pie, A good dr will take alot of other things into account.
I would report her to the principal or whomever. There is no way she should have been in that much of a hurry that she didn't realize she was putting a ton of falsehoods on there. Those evals are serious business, not like some silly chain mail. Smh at her being so irresponsible.
Although there are many teachers out there who are passionate and dedicated and knowledgeable, sadly, there are some who are not. I would enlist the help of someone other than your doctor. If it were me, I would have my child evaluated by an occupational therapist or child development specialist, in addition to a medical person. Bring the reports (the most recent one and the weekly ones you have been receiving). Since your pediatrician needs input from the teacher, you need to bring this matter to the attention of the special education supervisor. Don't attack the teacher or seem upset, just say that your child's doctor requires information, and the information you have received is contradictory and confusing, and request a meeting for clarification with the teacher, her supervisor and both you and your husband. The supervisor should wonder why the teacher filled out the form so differently from her reports to you, and then why she changed the form when your husband went to speak to her about it.
Sounds to me that the teacher knows if she doesnt put down the "behaviors" it could make your son ineligible for the programs. That might be why she exaggerated a bit, so it would be in your favor.
That's kind of how govt programs work with the tax dollars.
Reading through your post I was curious as to whether the teacher had an ulterior motive such as making his case seem more severe so that he would be eligible for more funding than otherwise. If that were the case than she should have just explained that to you when you questioned her, but she did not. Could she have been that careless when filling out the paperwork? Only your husband who sat down with her could judge that.
It sound like she needs to focus and take the time to fill out the questionnaire truthfully. She doesn't sound like she has your son's best interest in mind so is it possible to change teachers?
At least you got to see the questionnaire before it was turned in. Irregardless I think you should take the daily reports with you to the next appointment so that the pediatrician can get a clearer picture of your son's situation.
D.,
I would go above her and talk to her boss. This is not ok. She was being lazy and this is something incredibly important and you are depending on it to get your child the correct care and course of action. Her reasoning was completely unacceptable and the teacher shouldn't be in her profession if she is going to do things like this. Her explaination of being human and making mistakes? Come on! She made the whole report as "mistakes?" thats crazy and I wouldn't stand for it. I would insist on another person to come in and evaluate your child-watch him in her class, observe his behaviors etc. Then give the form to THEM and have them fill it out for you. Don't rely on this woman--she is incompetent! Best wishes and I hope you get the care your child needs. Push forward with the summer school and dont take no for an answer. I would think your child qualifies. GL
M
