What to Call Adults

I have my kids call them by Mr. or Mrs. Jones..... I dont care what other parents are letting their kids call people. I was brought up that is a form of respect. I choose to teach my kids that same form of resepct.

I do too, and I never give kids permission to call me by my first name. I teach my kids to use sir, and ma'am, and to call adults Mr, Mrs, and Miss. It is polite, and kids need to know that they are not little adults.

M.

I still have my child refer to adults as Ms., Mr. and Mrs. Being respectful is never outdated or old fashioned. If the adult request to be called by another name, then that's different, but other than that, it is Mr. and Ms.

I call them um, hey, you.... because I can never remember their names or not sure what to call them myself ;)

But for my kids, it's usually first names for friends, or Mr./Mrs./Miss for teachers/acquaintances/formal people, or Brother/Sister last name for church.

Some people prefer Miss Smith (last name) while other's prefer Miss Jenny (first name).

Personally for me, I would cringe if a child called me Mrs.

My kids call our friend Miss, Mr and their names. People we don't know they call by their last name.

I always called adult friends of the family "Mr." or "Miss" and their first name (Miss Martha, Mr. Joe, etc.). I have my children do the same. If it's a different adult, it's the Mr. or Miss/Mrs./Ms. and the last name. I WILL correct a child who calls me "J.." I am 40 years old, and in my book no 4 year old or 8 year old is my peer. That may make me old fashioned, but that's the way I am about it! I think parents who allow their children to address adults by the adult's first name are lacking in manners.

My children's friends usually call me by my first name. I work in a school, but have a complicated polish last name. I'm not a teacher, but I usually request that the kids call me "Ms. R.". The children in my son's classroom can say our last name, and call me "Mrs. Rutkowski".

With my older 3 children, I was divorced from their father, and remarried, and it always made my skin crawl when they would call me "Mrs. _______" I just think in this day, you cannot assume that parents have the same last name.

At school/work, I have my son call the adults by Mr. or Mrs. - but around the neighborhood, I let them call by first name.

My kids call adults that aren't relatives Mr/Mrs/Miss "first name" unless it is a teacher or something like that then it is the last name.

When we were growing up kids were allowed to ride in the back windows of cars and women smoked in the hospital while giving birth. I don't think because "we did it" is an appropriate reason to parent a certain way in any circumstance. If you have a preference of what you want your kids to call adults, that's a parenting choice that is yours, and yours alone. If the adults your kids are around have a preference and you want to know what that is, simply ask. If people are upset over children calling them by name without a title, they need to lighten up. There are much worse things out there to worry about IMHO....

For me it depends on the person and the relationship. For poeple we dont really know it Mr and Mrs but for close friends I let them decide. A lot of poeple just want to be called their 1st name, so I let me dauughter do that. I always start off with the Mr or Mrs and then if they say no just "Jane" is fine then we do that. Because we dont have family here, my close friends are Aunt and Uncle.

I still have my kiddo say "Mrs/Miss/Mr" when they are not already uncle or auntie or something to that effect, however my son has such a hard time with names we are greatful when he says something other than my girl or my bigger girl ... same for boy ... however we do Miss Heather if it is a friend and use the last name when appropriate. I saw the turn take place from last names to first names when I was a Mgr ... my "kids" all called me Miss K. ... I thought it was the cutest thing ever to hear from teens trying to be polite and respectful of me and really appreciated it.

It is purely Regional and Cultural.

In my State/Culture/Region.... kids refer to Adult family friends as "Aunty Sally" or "Uncle Bob." EVEN if they are related or not.
"Strangers" that kids are NOT familiar with... can be called "Ms. Henderson" or "Mr. Thompkins" etc. It denotes.... "social distancing"....

Teachers, are called "Miss Mary" or "Mrs. Smith" or "Mr. Sam: ... depending on what the TEACHER tells the kids to call her.

It is Regional.
Not wrong or right.
Regional, and cultural.
THEN when kids become Adults... and depending on where they live, well do as the Romans do.

What IS polite or not.... is ALWAYS with respect to the CULTURE that you are living in...

all the best,
Susan

I've taught my kids to call friends' parents, neighbors, etc. Mr or Mrs, and if the person invites you to use their first name, then it is fine. I am fine with the neighborhood kids and my kids' good friends calling me by my first name, I am not a terribly formal person - and I grew up with a mom who wanted to be called by her first name.

Hi Lucky, I agree with you. But even in school kids are calling teachers/staff by their first names. A preschool I worked in we were not called Mrs/Miss, we had the kids use our first names, sigh.

It's a very casual world these days. The use of an adult's first name by a child is no longer considered disrespectful. Good to hear I'm not the only one having trouble getting used to it.

It's a regional thing.

West Coast tends to be first names, Midwest tends to be Mr Lastname, South tends to be Miss First Name, and the NE varies wildly by area and generation.

I teach my son to follow local customs, whatever they are, since what is "polite" is different in different regions.

I think saying Mr. or Mrs. unless told otherwise by the adult is acceptable. I had a mom insist her children address me as Mrs. " " even though I voiced my displeasure at being called that. The old "Mrs. is my mother in law" adage. I am more comfortable being called by my first name unless it is a business issue.

Most of my friends let my kids call them by their first name but I do have a few friends that are 10 years older than me that prefer to be called Mr, Ms. or Mrs X.

The children at the church call me Sister Kim which is really cute coming from those little wee voices.

I personally wasn't that formal when my son was younger but now he is 16 and his friends call me Mrs Fisher. Friends really close to my son and me just call me mom. I'm like the second mother. My step son call's me by my first name.

It depends. If its a teacher or what not unless the kids were told otherwise by the teacher they address them Mr./Ms. "last name". However for example I have a very good friend since the 4th grade her daughter and my daughter will address us as "Ms. Cindy" or Ms. Jennifer". I have a cousin that I am very close and the address is the same Ms. Melissa. I think it just depends on what the person "prefers" them to call them combined with what we have taught them to say. I would never allow my children to call an elder by their first name even with a Mr. or Ms. in front of it unless the elder told me to do so or them. It's just how I was raised. My sister-in-law her mother was almost like a Grandma to my kids when they lived here but they addressed her as Ms. Debbie. I think it also depends if the person has a nickname too like my cousin Shannon her nickname is sho sho because when I was a kid I couldn't pronounce her name so it just stuck-well now my kids call her aunt sho sho-I know it gets confusing-lol!

I would ask each person what they would like to be called. For very close friends, we go with "Aunt or Uncle" and for most friends we go with "Miss so-and-so" or with the first names IF it is okay with the person!

I have always assumed Mr. and Mrs. and allowed the person to correct me. Personally, my friends' children call me by my first name, but when I first meet someone I prefer that their children call me Mrs.

I ask the person what they want to be called Ms/Mr./Mrs/ Miss First name or Ms/Mr./Mrs/ Miss last name. I personal cringe when I hear my last name exp. Mrs. XXXX. I do not get along with my Inlaws so... My kids NEVER call anyone just by fist name unless they are a cousin. Aunts and aunt XXX Uncles UncleXXX

Family and friends my daughter calls by 1st name. As long as the adult is ok with it I don't see a problem with it.

It just depends. If its one of YOUR friends I always let mine call them by the first name, if it was someone older than me and more of an acquaintance I introduced them as Mr or Mrs until that party said they would be more comfortable being called by the first name.

Well, having come from a long lettered family maiden name and a difficult to pronounce properly married name, we've chosen to take the preschool's lead and simply call grown-ups Ms. Nancy and Mr. John. We do this for every adult.

I see no point in having young children try to pronounce difficult last names when they hear me calling friends by their first names.

I mean we do this for Aunt Allison, so why not for other grown ups?

I've heard my mother telling friends that she finds this to be a practical, respectful way to help our kids address neighbors and other adults without sticking with the tradition of expecting a 3 yr old to spit out "Mr. Adomowicz".

for a teacher or educator name it's always mr/mrs, unless other wise asked etc, family, they only call aunts and uncles and cousins by first name aunt so and so etc, grandma's grandpa's it's grandma/grandpa then first name, especially for my daughter, she has 8 sides to her family since her dad and i are remarried and both our parents are divorced and remarried so therefore a lot of papa's and nana's so it's papa then last or first name of the person

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I have my 3 yr old and 10 yr old call my friends Miss and their first name. If it is a relative it is Aunt and first name etc...my son who just turned 15, I follow whatever my friends introduce themselves as, if they offer the first name I allow him to call them by first names otherwise I have him use Miss or Mister and first name. I just think it is more respectful than just first names.

Relatives and Close friends are called by their (title and) first names, anyone else gets the Mr./Mrs. Lastname

I feel that adults should be treated with respect...so I encourage my son to call a person by Miss or Mrs (if I know they are married) FIRST name. That way, it is not too formal, but at the same time conveys respect.

It is pretty casual here in the Pacific Northwest. Our close friends are called Auntie and Uncle plus their first name, and sometimes just their first name. Our nanny is first name. Teachers are usually Ms. Firstname and Mr. Firstname. This is in preschool, by the way.

I am glad I live on the West coast :)

My child(ren) will be taught to call adults Mr/Mrs. Last Name. I think it is disrespectful for children to call adults by their first names and I do correct other peoples children if they use my first name. They will only be allowed to use first names with Aunts/Uncles.

In our house it is based on familiarity. But in any case all adults are referred to as Mr., Ms., or Mrs. If they are friends and have a close relationship with my son it will precipitate their first name. Less familiar to us is a last name. I find that I see many youth disrespectful of authority roles and adults and I would like it to be different in our household. I believe this is one place to help create that distinction.

Mr. and Mrs.(LAST NAME). They still do and my kids are 19 and almost 21. If someone elses child calls me by first name I politely ask them to call me Mrs. O (hard last name so we shorten it). This is one time I do not feel it is up to the parent what their child calls me. All my kids friends still call me Mrs. O.

How you treat a person not how you address a person is a mark of respect IMO. You can call an adult Mr/Mrs/Miss Last Name all you want and still be disrespectful to them. I do not like the whole Mr/Mrs/Miss convention at all. I find it insulting to women. If you are a man you are not identified by whether you are married or not, it is not considered a part of their identity. Where as a woman's identity is instantly whether she is married or not followed by who she is married to (her husbands last name) or what family she "belongs to"(maiden). A woman completely looses her identity to marriage. Yes, there is now Ms. that came into heavy use in the 80s but it still isn't that huge an improvement.
In today's world of divorce, remarriage, hyphenated last names, keeping of maiden names it's not always practical to stick with the "Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms Last Name". You could have a hard to say maiden last name as well.
Ms First Name is an OK solution. My mom was a teacher and went by that.
Personally kids call my husband and I by our first names. It's my name, it's what my parents named me. I never feel disrespected by a child calling me by my first name. I do not see it as a sign that they are considered my peers. My age vs there's means I've had more experience and have had more time to learn sociatial rules and accepted behaviours. This has nothing to do with my name.
I have a very Ancient Egyptian view of a person's name. They believed that a person's name was an extention of their soul. They protected their written name within a rope trim called a Cartouche which then in turn protected their physical being. You're name was "you". When we named our children we chose very carefully, taking into consideration the meanings of the names, what it reminded us of. My parents carefully chose my name to mean something very special to them (named after both grandmothers). We use those names because they are who we are.
My children call adults by first names. If we do not know a name they are addressed as Miss or Sir (Excuse me Miss or Excuse me Sir) or refered to as Ladies and Men (that was a nice Lady, that was a nice man).
My children respect PEOPLE period. And if they're not deserving of respect we do not spend time when them and that's the end of it. This happens whatever you call a person.
Edit: I thought I would add that I'm 40 so I'm not "of the younger generation" persay. I grew up with all the formals, I just don't agree with them.

I am sure I must be a repeat, but I have my son call adults Mr/Mrs and their first name. I don't do last name because it comes across so formal and I don't know a lot of people's lasts names, like when I meet them. The rule we have is you always address adults when you are introduced or when you enter or leave a room and you call them by Mr/Mrs and whatever name they give. It does seem strange to have a three year old child referring to a grown person as a peer. Plus if you do the Mr/Mrs thing you will never offend someone who doesn't care either way and will never offend someone who does.

My kids call there teacher's my their Sir names Mrs. or Mr. whatever. At the latchkey they the younger adults in there 20's by their first name but put a Mrs. or Mr. on it (Mrs. Valerie or Mrs. Tracey). with aunts or uncles its always aunt betty or uncle charles etc.

We are teaching our little ones to call adults--- Mr ______, Mrs.________and for those unmarried--Ms.etc. If the last name is too hard to pronounce it is ok to call them Ms. Mary or Ms. Teresa etc. Our focus is for our kids to respect adults in this way.

M

Being Southern our children call adults Miss or Mr. First Name. So I am Miss L. to all my son's friends. Heck, I still call people older than me Miss and Mr. - feels wrong not to.

I think it is a matter of respect for a child to use a preface with an adults name.

SO glad you asked this - I was going to post this myself! I have a huge problem with my friend's kids who call me Mrs. R..... ugh. I am not my MIL. I was brought up to call my elders by their first name and see nothing wrong with little ones addressing me by my first name. My daughter was in daycare last year and the owner and all the aides were referred to by their first name. I know that a lot of people have a problem with being referred to by their first name, but the majority of my friends allow their children to call me and our other friends by their first names. There are only a couple of kids that refer to us by Mrs. So and So (and it totally makes me cringer). It's a personal preference for sure.