What to Do for a Deployed Spouse

Updated on January 19, 2009
K.P. asks from APO, AE
7 answers

HI. My husband will be deploying out in a few days and I know that he is worried about us, since he really never goes on deployments that much. (In the past 4 years we have been safe from deployments since we were on a controled tour. Now however we just moved and we are going throw the first of many.) I want to do something for him to let him know we are going to be ok while he is gone and we are thinking about him. If you could help me with some sugesstions on what you have done it would be very helpful. Many thanks in advance.

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S.C.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

My husband Loves Photos! Before he deploys, I print him off a mega amount of 4x6 photos from our fun family photos. I put them onto clear contact paper (front & back) & make a collage out of the photos. It's foldable & he Loves having it to hang on his wall. If he's going to someplace that has metal walls, I send him with magnets to hangs things with.

While he's gone, I make sure to keep him up to date with what's going on on the homefront. Just hearing about normal day to day stuff, like making cookies with the kiddos or seeing photos of ya'll having fun on a picnic or playing at the park are worth gold.

Hope this helps!

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S.A.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

Hi K....My husband and I have also been doing the military life for 4 years and 3 of the four have been in germany where we are now. My husband just finished his first deployment and somehow made it through together. When we was away I gave birth to our first son. WOW! So what I did is made little photo books. Every other week or maybe more I would either order photot books from walgreens.com, or I would buy cheap photo books and put things together. I also made him goody bags and sent DVDS down to him. We have an advantage since we are on post you can send boxes free from APO to APO. On top of that you have the flat rate boxes which are amazing. I also sent a diaper everytime my lil man would go up a size to let him now just how big he is. The guys down there have such a hard time, that all they need is a letter, a photo, just anything to know you are functioning and thinking of them. Good luck on the next few years to come. Being you are in Italy, I can imagine what area of work he is in. So good luck!

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H.P.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

K.,
You may want to contact the family center on your base. They usually do stuff with the deployed families. Some have the families do crafty projects like pillow cases with hand prints of family members painted on. The crafts are usually geared more for the kids but you may get some good ideas from them.

You may want to get a couple of SD cards and have him take a laptop with an SD card reader. You can take pictures and videos on the card and send them. If you have more than one, you can send them back and forth every week or so.

If your spiritual growth is important to both of you, you may want to consider finding a couples devotional and getting a copy for each of you. You can do the readings alone and then do the discussion portions when you talk to each other via email and phone.

I hope these suggestions help.
H.

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C.H.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I understand also where you are coming from. We have been in the miliraty for almost 19 years and been on many deployments. We have four children with one on the way. One thing that I did for my husband is made him a scrapbook of the family and at least once a month made him a page or two of what the children have been doing and sent it with a care package.
A good thing about this day and age is most places have phone and internet so he should be able to keep in touch that way.
With my little ones I have a hug jar and we put in the amount of hugs and/or kisses that their father will be away and every night before they go to bed they get a hug or kiss from daddy. It is a great way for the little ones to know that daddy loves them and a great way to count down the days until he returns.
Hope these ideas help.
C.

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A.C.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

When my husband deployed I sent out a note to friends and family asking each of them to choose a "Dave Day". Basically, I made sure we had 31 people/families who were committed to praying (in whatever tradition they were comfortable with) for my husband once a month while he was gone. So, for example, my dad chose the 5th of every month. When the 5th of Jan/Feb/March...etc arrived my dad would say a special prayer for Dave that day. We had Protestants, Catholics, Budhists, Athetiests, Pagans all "praying" for him once a month in a tradition they felt comfortable with.

I sent each person a magnet that had been made on the computer on that cool magnet paper you can get at office supply stores (maybe order online?) with a picture of Dave on it and their "Dave Day". Then I gave Dave a copy of the list of 31 people/families so he could post it in his own space and know each morning who was sending him a special prayer.

We also stayed up all night before he left video taping him reading stories to the kids. They watched them over and over and over again while he was gone. It was the best time investment we made in those last hours... the "daddy books" were such a joy to my little ones (3 months and 20months when he left). And there were days that was my only quiet time while he was gone, so I was grateful too!

Good luck. My prayers will be with you as well.

A.

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L.I.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

if you go to militaryonesource.com and check out the trooptube option, its a site where you can upload videos that they can see on their work computers... a lot of the websites that support blogging are prohibited on military computers. we made a flatdaddy for us and noticed that the company has a new option to make a photo blanket for soldiers of family pics that is extremely lightweight and folds small enough to fit in a pocket. I also tried to write a little to him everyday and then once a week sent what I wrote, I suggest writing as if you were talking to him instead of the typical format, that way he gets your personality in it... if your husband is marine or with a marine group they have a website that you can write to him that they print off over there and hand deliver (usually w/in 24 hrs) good for if he doesn't get internet access. I don't remember what it is but I can find out if thats something that applies to you.
extra bonus, if you are stationed somewhere with an apo address you get free shipping to him if you send MPS, it gets there just as fast (just make sure you don't pack the items in a priority box). good luck!

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R.J.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

Being a deployed spouse just last year, I can really relate with your husband. It's hard not to worry about your family when you're gone and I think I was even more worried because my DS was 15 mon when I left.

I was blessed to be in a place where I could make a daily call home which really helped. But what I really appreciated from my DH was weekly videos of them so I could actually see them and what DS was up to. Also, I had my own laptop and paid for internet service so about once or twice a week I was able to go online and chat real time. Random "I love you" cards are also a nice touch!

Communicating is the best thing but also the hardest thing especially with the time difference and distance but try as hard as you can to keep him in the loop about things and hpoefully he'll feel better about being gone. Good Luck!

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