What to Do with a Biter?

Try getting and rading this book, "No Biting! by Karen Katz (Hardcover - May 27, 2002" It talks about that teeth aren't for biting others but for chewing out food, something like that I don't remember exactly, it also addresses hitting and other behaviors. GOOD LUCK

All humans and even animals learn better from something unpleasant. (no pain, no gain.) Words alone just simply won't do. I haven't seen great behavior come out of time outs, either. I am surprised that parents will tell you this works. I've seen agressive kids remain agressive throughout the years when parents use time outs.I know two women who both have 4 year old boys who constantly bite other kids. They have been telling them for years (with an average voice) - dont bite, and then they sit them on a chair for 2 or 3 minutes. Now if time out worked, why would they still be biting two years later? Both of these families have older boys (7 and 8) that they also use time outs with and they are aggressive as well. it has not curbed thier behavior, at all.

If you got caught doing something wrong, like speeding, and you knew that every time a cop pulled you over, he was going to have you sit on the curb for two minutes and then you would get released to go back to what you were doing, would it curb your speeding? What would teach you better? Someone asking you to sit on a chair for a minute so you can rest,.. or a painful sensation? Pain is a natural consequence and it immediately tells the brain- dont do that again! ( like a burn when you touch something hot, for example) You have got to give him some kind of pain sensation along with a STERN command to stop. Even out in nature , the moma dog will give a growl and a quick bite at her pup's neck to teach him he is doing something wrong.

I used a slap on the hand and a stern command with my children when they were that age. There is now a product on the market for nail biters to keep them from putting their nails in their mouth, called "No bite." It is very unpleasant. but it is safe. It probably has capsaisin (hot pepper)oil in it. You can use it with a sharp command - NO!NO BITE! You can put a tiny drop on your finger and put it directly on his mouth/tounge the minute you see the infraction. I guarantee after two episodes he will have learned he doesn't want that sensation again, and the problem will be RESOLVED. Also the idea of using separate cribs next to eachother is a good idea, and you need to do that anyway to protect the child being bitten.

I would say since you know it is happening to make sure you are watching for it and give the offender a time out in a porta crib . With a firm ( we do not bite people!) place him in for approprate time and then when you take him out again tell him( if you bite people you will get time out. Biting hurts. With 2 years old you can't get to long winded about it but consistantly doing time out will work in my opinion. You can then go with him to the brother and help with a sorry and a hug. My kids always hug after an offense. And they say "I forgive you". You just have to make it a priority to be watching for it constantly. Don't leave them alone together as much as possible. Also watch for it about to happen. You can see the body change and going in for the bite. Intervene and say" I saw you were going to bite, It is never okay to bite. We bite food not people". When my 3 year old was younger and biting it wasn't because she was mean spirited ,she just got excited and if they were playing she would just lean in for a bite. But a time out for it helped her to gain control of it and become aware of herself. The idea of time out made her stop and think before she bit. My interventions before the bites also helped her become aware of what she was doing. Good luck

Hi R.,
May I suggest that you put them in separate cribs but put the cribs together or transition them to toddler beds. I think it is best to protect the one who is being bitten. If they are in separate cribs but pushed together the biter can't get to the other one. Making a change in sleeping arrangements may be tough for a couple of nights but don't back down (not even once).
S., mom of many

I have a similar family. My daughter is 8 1/2 and I have twin boys who just turned 6. We also had a big biting problem with one of my boys when they were about 2. The biter was less verbal and had a very hard time dealing with frustration and acted out physically. But only towards his twin and me. I talked to a therapist who thought he was confusing kissing and biting. She recommended more affectionate one on one time with each boy. She also felt the non-biter was just as much at fault as the biter and not to make him the victim. The biting did stop. They still fight a lot but I give both a time out. Even though the biter no longer bites he is more aggressive and physical.
Good luck, just know it will get easier! I had a very hard time when my boys were two. Things got so much easier once they started preschool.
If you don't already have a double jogger go get one. Getting them outside for a walk helped them and me.

I guess you first need to ask yourself some questions like what is causing the biting? He is frustrated about someething. Is his speech delayed? Sometimes biters have trouble verbalizing their thoughts. Does he have any other habits that might be tactile....in other words does he put other things in his mouth? Some kids need to self stimulate themselves or pacify themselfs because they are over stimulated and need a way to express themselves. I would treat this with a time out if I found bite marks on his brother to let him know that biting is not OK. Same is true if you catch him in the act.(designate a spot or a chair that is off by itsef and make him sit there with no interaction for 2 minutes....3 minutes.....etc) This may not sound like a long time but it is for a child who knows they are being punished . (I saw a math teacher once in trying to make a point how lon 2 minutes was ask a kid o hold a book outright for two minutes....the kid couldn't do it) If it continues I would get the advise of an Occupational Therapist. They are very famililar with behaviors like this that are behavioral and tactile,

Sorry about that. It is not uncommon. I used to be a 2's Montessori teacher....biting happened everytime I looked away. They do the lean.... and then OUCH! Two year olds are very much into CAUSE and Effect...they like to see things happen and they enjoy this discovery. Can you find some more Cause and Effect things for your child to do?
They like doing things for themselves.....Check out some Montessori materials for them.....sweeping, washing dishes, mopping, making food, cutting, grating, polishing plants, watering plants, arranging flowers.....Keep em busy. There are some good Montessori books out there. Check out the Michael Olaf web-site and see the activities he does w/ children in his online book. At least you can have some fun!

I'm going to agree with the last gal, timeouts and biting don't go well with each other. First check to see if his molers are coming in. If they are then at least you know the cause and it will end soon but punishing the bad behavior is a must. I'd show him what he did to his brother and say with a stern voice "NO, NO BITING" then flick his mouth/cheek (it is the offender, not the bottom) This should work after just a few times. I've also heard of several mom's who resorted to biting their child just hard enough to hurt but not too hard. I've never used this method because flicking worked really fast for my boys but good luck!