What to Do with My Crying Baby?

I was in the same boat. My fraternal twins are now 4 1/2. My son needed much more attention as an infant and my daughter was quite content sitting in the swing or bouncy chair. She was usually always happy and he was not. I always felt so guilty about spending more time with my son than my daugher. But as you know with twins, you have to do whatever keeps you sane. At about 16 months the tides turned and my daughter became more of a handful and needed me and my son mellowed. I have noticed this over the past 4 years. They tend to trade off who needs me more and I figure in the end it will all even out.
I think you give each of your kids what they need when they need it. There will be times that your daughter will need more attention than your son, and you will give it to her, just as you are giving your son now.
So hang in there....the first year is tough with twins no matter what. When my kids were younger I often felt guilty because they didn't get much one on one attention. But now at 4 1/2, they play together so well and always have a playmate. Their relationship is so special. Honestly, they don't know what it is like to be the only child. When I had another child when they were almost 3, it was no big deal to them. They had never known what it was like to have mom or dad to themselves.
So, enjoy every moment, because it does go fast!!! And know that each year gets a bit easier!!

J.

Get a baby carrier you can use to keep your high needs twin comfortable and happy but still keep your hands free to tend to his sister. A few brands that moms swear by are Ergo, Patapum, BabyHawk. I have a friend with twins and she says she could not do it without a good carrier, it's like her third hand. Come on over to the forums and articles at www.thebabywearer.com to chat with moms of twins who are in the same boat and see what has worked for them!

Unfortunately, babies just have different needs - you just have two at once. The twin sister does not know any different, so lose the guilt. Trust me, the girl will soon be the needy and demanding one - so snuggle your little guy now!

If the twin sister doesn't need you as much, and he does, then let him have more attention. A baby that needs a lot of attention should get it, so that he will be self-assured when he is older. The time spent now will be well worth the payoff later. Some of us just need more attention when we are little than others, and that's ok.

Don't ever feel the need to make things "even" for your kids. Give them what they each need individually.

I'm not sure if this is it, but, my daughter had gas and I would get something for it or see what's out there, it's been a long time for me, my daughter's 16yr.old. Then, if that doesn't work, go to your dr. and see what he/she suggests, maybe there is something more to it than just a crying baby. Does a warm bath help?? Sometimes, that will sooth them. Good luck on this...

N.,

I don't know if you are open to this or not, but maybe consider hiring a nanny or mother's helper. Or if you have family/friends around ask for help from them. Both of your children need you and I think it would help if you had an extra pair of hands.

Molly