What to Do with Toddler While Delivering Baby #2!?

Updated on December 02, 2008
M.A. asks from Chicago, IL
4 answers

Hi Moms,

I'm expecting my second daughter in mid January. We have no family in the area that can help us out during the delivery. I of course have friends who have offered, but I worry if I go into labor in the middle of the night. I'm afraid taking her to someone's home may be a bit traumatic for her. I've also considered having a sitter 'on call' to come and stay at our home. Anyhow, I'd love to hear from other moms who have been in this situation! Any advice or recommendations that worked for you!?

Thanks!!

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J.

answers from Chicago on

We don't have any family in the area either. Luckily when baby #2 came, my M. was able to stay with us but that was just lucky timing. (she didn't arrive until a few days past my due date.) Our backup plan was to have my older son go to a close friend's house. We told him about it in advance. We also had a couple of neighbors "on call" in case our friend wasn't around when the big moment came.

There's definitely something to be said for not having to get a child up in the middle of the night, but I'd want to make sure she knows and feels comfortable with the sitter.

Congratulations!

1 mom found this helpful
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V.D.

answers from Chicago on

We are a military family and don't have family around either. I was 7 1/2 months pregnant with my second daughter when we moved here, so I knew NOBODY....so I had to do my homework quick in order to find care for my then 20 month old. I researched Home Child Care Providers in the area and did interviews and then had a "mock" 2 hr. stay with one provider to see how my daughter would do. She did great, but still felt a little strange...if it would have been a middle of the night labor. My husband and I ended up paying to fly my mother-in-law (who doesn't work) out here...just in case. Mind you, my mother-in-law is practically a stranger to my daughter (since we are a military family, we are very rarely around family)...but felt somewhat more comfortable with the idea of having her be here than a total stranger. Ended up my water broke in the middle of the night. My husband took me to the hospital (while my mil stayed at home with my daughter), her dropped me off (I was 5cm) so he came back home, got my daughter up from bed, feed her breakfast, etc., then headed back to the hospital...to which he made it just in time because I delivered 25 min. later. :) After I delivered, he stayed for about 30min. and came back home. So all in all, he was with me for about an hour. A lot of people think we are crazy for that, but our first daughter was priority....NOT him being with me and baby. Baby and I were fine...I'm a Labor and Delivery nurse, so I know all the things to expect etc., so I was totally fine, if by chance he did miss the birth.
Anyway, all that to say.... honestly, if I were you....I would NOT feel guilty about calling your friends in the middle of the night (should you go into labor). Your friends offered, because they want to help you. They KNOW that labor can come at any time of day, so if they didn't want to take your child at 2a.m. then they wouldn't have offered. Also, don't worry about your daughter being tramatized. Kids are VERY VERY resilent...it probably won't phase her one bit...especially if you choose someone that she knows VERY well and feels comfortable with. Or another alternative is having the friend come to your house. I think the sitter "on call" is a great idea...but make sure your daughter knows who that sitter is...just in case you have a long labor and your daughter wakes up with the sitter in your house.
Good luck to you. I'm sure you will figure out something. Try not to worry about it...it will all fall into place, just have your back up plans ready!

1 mom found this helpful
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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

We involved her in the birth and she was there in the very beginning and towards the end of my labor. My husband had her in another room sleeping till I called them in to be there for the birth. It was the most incredible inspiring experience I could have had. The two held eachother immediately straight from my womb, even before they cleaned her off. They just wrapped the baby on top of me and they were together. My daughter, 2 at the time sang a song to her and was cheering that her baby was here. I think that is what bonded them so closely even now. My daughter was involved in bringing her baby sister into the world. I know its not for everyone but if you consider sibling involvement feel free to email me. I would do it again that way if we aim for another one.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

We don't have family here either. What we did was pick a person to be "on call." Luckily for us it was our neighbor. She does have a toddler but her husband has flexible work hours and was able to watch their son for a bit. We actually called her at 6AM the morning I went into labor. She came over and slept on the couch till our son woke up. She got my son up, ready, and fed and then had her boy come over and the two played until my family got into town. After that my family rotated who watched my son for the 2 days I was in the hospital. Hope this helps!!

1 mom found this helpful
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