What Was the Hardest Part About Having a 2Nd Child?

Never getting a nap because when the baby naps you spend time with the older child so you get one on one time. Baby sitters are easier to find when you have one child.

everything is easier the second time(provided you have a healthy baby, which you will!), except for losing the baby weight. A lot harder with #2 ive noticed.

As a baby, figuring out a schedule and how to get it all done. As your second gets older, realizing they are a completely different person than your first and that you can't treat them the same. What worked for your first may not for your second. It is kind of like starting from scratch. Good luck.

The hardest thing for me was the lost "alone" time with my older child. Now they are one and six, and I still wish I had more time just to spend with my older daughter and to cuddle with her. Now, I late her stay up way too late on Friday nights just so we can have a few hours alone every week, and it's a wonderful thing we both look forward to and makes me appreciate my time with her. We plan all week for what we're going to do on her "stay up night"...which is tonight!!! :) We're going to play with her castle and knights, and do a page in her scrapbook.

For me it was especially hard the first year juggling attention to them both. I don't know how far apart your kids will be, but ours were 26 months. So-initially having a needy baby AND needy toddler was really hard. I felt so guilty when my son would say 'mama play w me" and I had to say..I'll be right there or I can't or wait a minute, cuz I'm with the baby. I never seemed to be able to put my daughter down - she's a snuggly baby and still is at 15 mo so I was feeling constantly conflicted. It was much better when I could get out with them-outside, at the mall, zoo, gma's...that alleived some of the pressure and I didn't feel so torn. Also-once my hus was home we could share and each got indiv focus and that helped a lot.

I eventually just had to accept that it is hard and it will even out. Once I leaned into it more it was better, but it takes time.

I think the hardest part for me was no downtime between things to do. My older son was 2.5 when my baby was born and it just felt like there was literally ALWAYS something I needed to be doing. Also my older on was very used to all the attention and did have a hard time adjusting, so that was tough. I was at home and breastfeeding, so I was just physically depleted, more than I even realized. The house was a wreck most of the time as well, which I did not like! But well we made it and are now pregs with number three!! The great part of having two is truly watching them play and love each other so much and even in the begininng craziness there was nothing like having a baby in my arms again. I also love watching my little one grow and see how he is very different from his brother. It amazes me that we have made two people that are so stinkin' cute and yet so unique. I really love that part. Congrats, for me it has been one wild ride but totally worth it :D

I don' t know if I ever looked at having a 2nd child as hard. We just adapted at every stage as it came along. My son was 2 1/2 when his sister was born. We just added her in to the mix and maybe kept to home a little more, but isn't that what you are supposed to do. While nursing, I would read to my son. He held the books. We all took naps at the same time in the afternoon, hey mom still needs one after getting up at night too.!

My son did start preschool the week before she was born. He was gone 2 hours for 2 days a week. I looked at it as independent time for him and bonding time for the little one. Now they are 9 1/2 and 12, both get their own time and are very independent.

Don't look at it as hard, just another change. Soon enough they will not even want you around.

The biggest challenge for us was that we went from 1 to 3 children since we had twins the 2nd time :) Everything you do with the 2nd got magnified x2. We got NO sleep at all.

For me it was feeling guilty bc I could not have all that one on one time with my older child. He was 5 at the time and we were able to go on bike rides together and do all kinds of stuff. When his sister was born it was hard for me to adjust to not being able to just go and do something fun with him anytime we wanted to. We were a little more tied down with what she could do with us and with doing things around naps. I missed that time with my son. He started Kindergarten that year too, so suddenly he was gone a lot and that was part of the adjustment! Really, it was a mental adjustment for me bc most of the time we still can just all do things together.

For me they were:
1. Figuring out which kid to put in the car first.
2. Figuring out which kid to comfort first when they are both crying.
3. Figuring out when to catch up on sleep because my kids would never sleep at the same time.

Everything else was easier the second time around. Congrats!

The biggest challenge other than the assumed time management, for me, is learning to divide your love, patience, time, and energy amongst two kiddos. I was a single mom with #1 and #2, so it was all me. I can imagine that being 2 independent professionals, you would probably face a lot of the single parenting issues as busy as you both are. They say the hardest time in a marriage is the first year of a babys life... you've made it through once, now you'll have to totally change the gameplan to work together as a team all over again with the new baby. Every child is different; I hope this new little one is a better sleeper than your first ;) CONGRATS!! The good news is, if you ever try for #3... that's a breeze ;) The jump from one kid to two is the hardest... anything after that is a cake walk!

Yes never getting a nap would be at the top of my list.

As for the sleeping at night, I think it was easier for me because I knew what to expect.

I think the only thing for me that was really hard at first and I remember complaining to my Pediatrician about it. My oldest was 2 at the time of my second and its like she had this special power to get into and climb on top of things when I couldn't stop her because I had just started feeding the baby. She definitely tested her boundaries with me, but eventually we all got into a routine and I figured out ways to stop her.

I have a daughter who turned two in February and I have a four month old. For me, it was a HUGE adjustment to balance time and attention. My husband and I are in a very similar situation to you...we are both full time working professionals. The hardest part has been finding time to spend time with each child, my husband, taking care of the house and still doing my job well. The days are crazy and I have had to create whole new ways of staying organized. Having said all that...seeing them look at eachother and the adoration the baby has for his sister makes it all worth it! Yes, sleep has been an issue...but no more than with the first!

To let you know...... The sleep part was easier because my first child had prepared me. I was more able to enjoy late night feedings and quiet time with my new baby.

The hardest part was time...... giving my older child time. Balancing activities as they grew.

Balancing all the time and attention that a new baby needs with a toddler that was used to all the time and attention. It is important to spend the time that the baby is sleeping giving the older one attention. Also, we would take my oldest on errands, out to play, to the museum/zoo while one of us watched the baby. He needed times that were all about him!

The hardest part?

You've forgotten all the little things that just really sucked at each different stage because your brain has repressed them. Then, child #2 does them and you'll be like "oh yeah, ugh I remember this awful stage!".

Also, your older child has hopefully learned a lot of independence which likely has been nice for you. Now you're going back to a little baby who depends on you for everything!

The best part? You're probably going to be much more flexible with your second child, as far as childrearing goes. With the first there was probably so much second-guessing. With the second, you'll likely be more laid-back.

I think the only thing that really threw me for a loop with 2 was when my Dh was out of town and I was home alone, and both kids were up at the same time at night needing me. Dh is now deployed and my DD is almost 4 and DS is almost 1 1/2 and the toughest part of the past 6 months so far has been when they are both sick and both need me, and there is only 1, exhausted, sick, sleep deprived mama in the house with NO break at all.
Otherwise...i love it! =0)

Sleep deprivation, of course, which you already know :)
Other than that I found the second one so much easier, just because I knew what to expect. My son was two and a half when my daughter was born and I never felt that he got any less attention, he "helped" with the baby and was good at playing on his own. Congrats on the impending arrival of #2!

Sleep will still be an issue :)
Are you a SAHM? If not, make sure child #1 still has the same daily routine and goes to daycare while you adjust to #2.

You are going to become an expert at multitasking! There's always something to do for each kid and their needs are so different. When my second was born, my husband and had this plan that he would give all his attention to my son (the older one) while I was with the baby. That seemed to work but my son did act out but we know it was just a cry for attention, positive and negative. It was hard and still is hard at times especially since he seeks more negative attention than positive. Just try and divide your attention to both kids. good luck and congrats!

To be honest, I found the transition from 0 to 1 way harder than from 1 to 2. Then again, I spaced mine about 3 years so my daughter was out of diapers and could dress on her own by the time her brother arrived. A HUGE advantage. I am a much better, less stressed mom to my second because I learned so much with my first. Now that they are 2 and 5, I'd say the biggest challenges are streamlining their activities so they are not overscheduled and I'm not a crazed chauffeur and also te occasional sibling rivalry. Otherwise, for me, having 2 has been a treat. You may ET a different response from those that have 2 under 2 ;) Good luck and enjoy!!