I had a friend offer me her 9 yo little girl who is very mature and sweet and helps with her 3 yo.
My daughter however, is 20m and my son 9m. I'm expecting a baby due in Nov so I really will need someone to come in and help me with what I call my "zero hour"
What I'd like is someone to help feed them, bathe them, dress them, take them down to the basement to play, maybe walk outside on these beautiful days...son on the stroller, my dd likes to walk and run off and throw down when it's time to come in.
Her daughter is 9 - after speaking to some friends with 9 and 10 yo children they've made me quite skeptical that a child that age under no circumstances could handle children this young.
My dd still sticks everything in her mouth, she is obedient but still a toddler.
The require a lot of attention for at any second ,y son will try to pull up on something and take hard falls etc.
I will be home at all times, but don't know if it is realistic to think a 9 y/o could handle the responsabiity so we can actually relax, prepare dinner, and simply supervise without breathing down her neck.
Any opinion is welcome, we just don't want to bring her in and the crush her by realizing she can't handle it, hurt our friendship....I just don't know what age is realistic since my experience ends at 20months ;)
Thank you in advance!!
Amy
I personally would not feel comfortable with a 9 yo watching my young son. Like you said, you will probably be constantly watching her to see if she is doing a good job. The youngest I would feel comfortable with is a 12-13 yo.
You know, I could tell you that I was taking care of my baby sister when I was 10 and babysitting alone when I was 11, but it was different then. I am not very old but even since I was younger, things have changed and I think in some areas, children are not maturing as fast as we might have.
Saying that though, I have 4 children and my oldest 2 are 8 and 7 and they are amazing helpers with my 3 and 2 year old daughters, even with our friends little kids they are great help.
Age is relative. Every child is different I know of some 13 and 14 year old that have a hard time taking care of themselves let alone other children, and I know of other 8/9 year olds that I would not leave alone with my little girls. You would really have to meet the child, see how she does, watch her with her own siblings, etc, to really tell if she would be a help to you, or more of just adding to your already heavy work load.
Finding people to help take care of your precious children, can be a hard thing. We rely on our instincts a lot and we ask our kids how they feel about certain people.
Even your almost 2 yo daughter can show by action, people she is comfortable with.
I wish you luck.
I would trust a 9 yr old to help watch two children and keep them entertained, but I would not trust a 9 yr old to give a baby a bath, feed the children, or go for walks.
If you just want some alone time upstairs reading while the children are quiet and entertained, it might be a good idea to try out the 9 yr old. Maybe even after the 3rd baby is born you can coordinate it during nap time (since newborns sleep all the time!)
But if you're looking for something more (baths, walks, etc), the YOUNGEST I would go would be 13.
I would say it would depend on what exactly your looking for. My 5 y/o is very capable of sitting in a room and watching his 18 month old brother and 12 month old cousin while I cook or hop in the shower. He knows when a situation is not right and when to come get me. I'm not saying it's an hour of uninturrupted time, but it's an hour that I can walk out of the room and know that I will know if there's a problem. When we go to the park or zoo, he is my extra set of eyes, and hands if I need it, but it's definitly not like having an extra responsible person around. I have cousins of all ages, I would have to say that any of them younger than a freshman in high school would not be mature enough to handle a situation and give me uninturrupted time, being able to handle things that came up, on their own. I would expect a 9 year old could handle entertaining them for an hour or two each day so you could get stuff done but probably only two, definitly not 3 children. Especially if you are in the house. I would never leave her alone.
It totally depends on the child. When I was 10 I would babysit for my neighbours. I could call my mother any time (as she can call on you) but was alone in the house with the baby without any problems.
You will still be in the house.
I think it is indeed a good idea to ask her to come over and just see how she handles the kids.
not sure about 9, but when I was 13 I was almost completely raising a friend's 13 month daughter & newborn son since she was more into partying (she'd just turned 18). I did care for the kids completely on my own for about 80% of the time & just would call my parents or aunt for advice. not saying my situation is the norm or the best by any means,just that some younger teens/pre-teens are capable. Maybe let the girl come in & watch her handle the 2 you have now for an hour or 2 at a time, working it up to longer, to see how she handles them when you're right there without the newborn to fit into the mix so you can properly judge how she'd handle them after the new baby's born.
I have a 5 y/o son that helps me and my mom when I'm at work pt w/ my 3 mo old daughter and my 6 1/2 mo old niece. He mainly sticks w/ my niece and entertains her. But he will get their pacifiers and put them in their mouths if they get fussy or rinse them if they fall on the floor. He likes to help feed my niece her baby food. He even offers to make their bottles or change diapers, but haven't let him. He is a great little helper.
I think it depends on the child. I was babysitting the neighbor kids alone in the house when I was 10 and they were 6 & 2. They were good kids and I was very responsible. Oddly so for that age. My daughter is the same way.
On that same note, I don't think that I would allow her to give a baby a bath. Assisting you by holing the towel or getting items ready is ok, but babies, especially a 9 month old in relation to a 9 year old little girl, can be slippery and too much to handle for smaller hands and muscles.
Feeding the kids is easy so I think that she'd be fine. Just go over the rules of what to feed or have the stuff pre-made for her to feed them. Keep it simple.
So basically, I say follow your gut. If you are uncomfortable with that situation, be honest and upfront with your friend. I'm sure that she'll understand. Good luck!
Age is a number. Look at her maturity and how she handles your children. I was babysitting by nine and that did include all the things you want her to do and more and the parents weren't even home. It all depends on the child though, I have had to babysit for children who are 13 and still can't be left home alone. Have her over as a trial run. Give her little jobs to do and see how she handles it. Don't throw her in all at once, start out with just playing down in the basement while you clean the kitchen. Have her help you with bath time. Show her how you do everything and see what she seems comfortable with. If she jumps in right away, you'll know she's ready!
Good luck!
Hi Amy,
As soon as I saw your question I knew I had to respond to you. I have a 10 year old VERY smart girl and a 2 year old girl as well. I can tell you from experience that a 9 year old will get WAY too distracted to handle children this age. I have asked my daughter to watch her 2 year old sister while I do something quick, like change clothes, check a quick email, etc. I would recomend contacting your local High School to see if you can find a teenage girl to come and help you out when need be. My niece is 13 and extremely intelligent, and she has babysat my 2 year old with the men home(they were in a different part of the house)while my SIL and I ran to the store, etc., and if very competent. My daughter LOVES her!!! As for your friend, tell her you want to get someone a little older. Be honest with her so there are no hurt feelings.. I really think even a 9-11 year old in your home would be like having another child for YOU to watch! I wish I could offer my nieces services to you :O) If you attend church, check there also... Good luck!
My niece is 10; I would not put her in charge of bathing my children or taking them for walks outside. Those are situations where a person has to be on top of things and paying attention every minute, or something could go wrong. I would let her go out in the backyard to play with them for awhile or read books/play inside.
It might be good for you, if you really want her help, to have her do those less risky things while you take a nap or relax. My husband and I take turns on who makes dinner and who gives baths. When I was on maternity leave I made lots of oven dinners (pot roast with carrots and potatoes, roasted chicken, lasagna, etc.) so you can have an awesome meal ready but not need loads of time to watch it. And don't forget the crockpot. Just ideas (where your hubby can help with the prep) to have easy dinners that he can even put together before he leaves, while you go through those first months of being tired and still wanting more than PB&J at dinner time. :)
9 is WAY to young to be left alone with two children. If you just had the one, then maybe. It's just too overwhelming. I have an extremely mature 12 year old cousin and sometimes two kids is too much for her to handle. At 9 they just don't have the coping skills they need to handle two babies. I don't think I would let a 9 year old outside the house alone by herself, let alone with two little ones. Maybe in the backyard if it was fenced in, but certainly not for walks around the neighborhood. Summer's coming and there will be lots and lots of high school kids that need to make a little extra money. Ask around in your area, I'm sure somebody in your neighborhood has a teenage daughter that would like to make a little extra money.
