Whiney 4 Y/o Son!

I do the same as Brown eyed girls... I whine back and I make it really loud and whiny. I tried all the love, attention, decent talk, adult talk, time outs and reasonable give ins. I dont do it anymore. The whinning has almost stopped NOW I am dealing with vanity, and anger. yikes

My daughter(s) rarely whine. But they've each had their moments and sometimes still do. When they do...I whine right back at them. They get the point and stop and talk to me in a normal voice. The first time I did it I had to point out that it was how they sounded and I did not answer to people who whined but instead to people who used their regular voices.

"I can't understand you when you talk like that. I can't help you until you speak in a normal voice." When he learns he gets what he wants with the right voice and he gets NOTHING without it, he will start to turn it around.

If he continues to whine afterward, he needs to stop what he is doing and go to his room until he is finished. As long as that takes. He should absolutely in no way be rewarded for whining.

My four year old girl has gotten much worse about whining since she turned four. I feel your pain! Anyway, we employ one of two tactics. We'll tell her, "I can't understand you when you talk that way. Use your regular voice, please." And if she keeps whining, we repeat that until she says it calmly and normally. If, instead of stopping the whining, it makes her upset (if she's in a bad mood or something), we let her know that she's welcome to keep whining as long as she does it in her room. She usually calms down really quickly, but if she has to be sent to her room, then she really needs to be in there for a while to chill out anyway. LOL Good luck! This too shall pass...

I personally cannot stand whining either. I fortunately have never had a really whiney child, but I think if I did, I would have to tell him to go to his room and adjust his attitude and when he can talk without whining then he can come out.

4 is a hard age.
They are not fully developed yet.
So... teach him skills... to manage his emotions.
They don't even know their emotions yet, articulately.
Teach him how to SAY how he feels and teach him the words for it.
So instead of whining... he can say it.
Then teach him coping-skills, for managing frustration.
Even using humor.
Teaching a child, how to look at things differently.... thus, helping them manage a frustrating moment.
Thereby, you are teaching your child skills... for managing their upsets.
They are not born with knowing how, so they have to be taught.

Your son could also be like that at certain times, because he is tired.
My son gets like that, when he is tired or over-tired.
He naps, still. And my son is 5.
When tired, a young child has nil patience or ability for staying in a good mood.

My 5 year old has been like this for YEARS lol...I guess you just have to be patient & yes I know that's probably not what you want to hear because I HATE hearing that lol we have learned to just ignore him and we repeatedly tell him "whining is not going to get you your way" or "whining is not going to do anything" and slowly but surely he is learning, I believe :)

We disciplined whining. When my son was between 2 1/2 and 3, he was a chronic whiner. I spent at least a few weeks doling firm consequences after warnings for whining. Not angry, just clear, calm and firm. He finally got it and quit. It was BY FAR his biggest challenge. Everything else was much easier to nip, even tantrums were cake compared to the whining. Eventually though, if he whined and I said, "Oh, do I hear a customer trying to order up a smackeroni and cheese?" He would quit on a dime and run away laughing. Now he's almost 4 and no one can believe he was ever a whiner. But oh boy, he was.

In what I have witnessed, it often gets worse if you allow it in cry it out or whine it out. He wants to whine, so letting him do it by ignoring isn't going to make him stop. My friend is constantly telling her 6 year old son she can't hear him when he whines....since he was 3! If you want it to stop, you probably have to discipline it. Otherwise, prepare to white knuckle it until he decides to quit! Could be years though.....hope not-good luck-whining is a draaag.

I was just discussing this yesterday with another mom of a 4 y/o! My daughter just turned 4 too and she has been SOOOO whiney the last few months. It's awful. I feel your pain for sure. Yes, I do all that other stuff of 'I'll listen when you talk like a big girl", etc., but it sure is annoying and hope it stops soon!

I have a sign in my house that says " No Whining." It sounds so silly, but for some reason kids respond to signs!! And sometimes the other kids will say, "Didn't you see the sign in J.'s house? There's no whining here."

Things that have worked for me have been the same as others have suggested. I tell kids that I don't understand the voice they are use them and ask them to use their normal voice. I'm always matter of fact about it, and I don't mimic, condensed or get bothered when they do it, I just say , " I'll be happy to help you when you ask me in your normal voice." if you're consistent about doing that your son will understand that whining doesn't get him what he wants and he'll stop.

For my own kids I have sent them to their rooms for excessive whining... I just tell them that that voice hurts my ears and I would like them to go in their room and do it until they are ready to use their normal voice again. Just because he wants to continue to do it, doesn't mean you have to listen.

I would however, teach him how to identify his feelings and use words for how he's really feeling. Try the book Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child, or How To Talk So Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. They are great resources for all kind of issues you'll have coming up. Remember also that 4 is a very hard age... kids are often held to an expectation that they are not always ready for. They waver between wanting to do things by themselves and for themselves and needing Mom or Dad to dress them because suddenly they "can't" do it. It takes some time and guidance for them to learn to manage their feelings without losing it.

Good luck!