Whining for Mommy, Mommy, Mommy

Updated on August 30, 2008
L.P. asks from Geneva, IL
4 answers

My daughter will be turning 2yrs old next week, and just over the past few weeks has started to be very clingy to mommy. Almost like she is afraid I am going to leave her or someone is going to take me away. She won't let dad put her to bed at night, she throws a crying spree when I leave her at daycare in the morning. Any time anyone comes up to me to give me a hug, she clings to my leg and says "My Mommy". It is exhausting for me and just wonder if there is something I can do or say to her to get her past this phase.

Things that could be causing some of this...she is turning 2yrs old, she has a new baby brother due in October, we have switched her schedule at school recently so she goes 3-days to daycare and 2-days with grandma's. It could be one or all of these, but really, what can I do or say to help with this. The whining and crying and sobbing for mommy is wearing me down, and once her baby brother is here, I won't be able to attend to her as much.

Any suggestions or experiences?

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

I've been there too. My now 4 1/2 year old went through this for the same reasons you talk about... new school, new addition to the family.

I think they just need to know that they are still important. All the changes are disconserting to them and they don't know where they are in the world. Know what I mean.

I would spend as much time as I can with her so she gets reassured that you are still there for her-- remember she's still a baby. Hard to understand when you're feeling touched out-- but try to enjoy this time with just you and her. It's hard for everyone with a new sibling in the family too-- so expect regression and anger (more likely toward YOU). With love and patience-- they'll come through it in a few months. Make her feel like a "big girl" on how she can help you when baby comes.

Take some time for yourself too. Have daddy take care of her and leave the house!!

Good luck. It is so fantastic to see your children love eachother!!

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K.R.

answers from Chicago on

I'm in almost the EXACT situation. My son just turned two last week and we have a new baby due in early November. My son, too, has become VERY clingy in the past few months. What has helped is just letting him have his mommy time when I can. I give him some extra cuddles whenever I get the time. I think he (or she in your case) just needs to be reassured that mommy is there. As far as dropping him (or her) off places (daycare or babysitters) I just kiss him and hug him and tell him I love him and that I will be back soon. I tell him where I'm going (mommy is just going to the store...or to work...or to the doctor) and that I will be right back and we can play when I get home. Sometimes this works and sometimes I have to leave while he's crying. I feel terrible but all you can do is reassure them that you will be back soon. Eventually they will get the point that you have to leave sometimes but will be back. My son has been getting better so I hope you're daughter will too...Good Luck!

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter (19 mo) is the same way and I am also due in October with Baby #2.
We just try to stay pretty firm and consistent with a routine...my husband always put Maddie to bed, so even though she cries for me a little, he keeps putting her to bed and she is coming around more and more at bedtime. Now we say, it's bedtime, want to go read books with Daddy and she turns to me and says, "night night".
She does the same thing though, when we're out in public, and someone talks to me, she will point at me and say "momma". She even reminds family and my husband who I am, saying "momma" and pointing. I think it's funny...I think it's just a phase, and I'd rather be the one she wants rather than the one she pushes away (my husband). Poor guy.
I also worry about what will happen when the baby comes, but we will both get though it...
Good luck!

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D.O.

answers from Chicago on

L. - It's probably just a phase due to all of the changes in her little world. She probably feels like she can't control anything and wants security from you. I hate to say it, but be prepared -- only time will tell what will happen when your son is born.

My twins were 16 months old when our new baby arrived in May. The smaller twin (Sami) had always gotten extra attention from us because she had some health problems in the past and she needed a little more help. She has become COMPLETELY clingy since Meghan was born. It's not easy, but whenever I'm feeding or holding the baby, I try to talk to Sami and give her some verbal attention. I tell her that she's a big girl, a good big sister, praise what she's doing at the time, etc. And when she gives positive attention to the baby, I really lay it on thick. It seems to help her a little. She still has her fits when I'm the only one who can calm her, but she seems to be getting adjusted and working thru this phase. I'm exhausted (physically AND emotionally) but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Good luck with the pregnancy and with this Mommy stage. Both shall pass!

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