Who's Responsibility Is This?

If the mother were dropping the child off, I'll bet she would change the diaper. The dad wants you to do it. He doesn't know or possibly wouldn't care about the red bottom.

I would talk to the mother about it and see if she will talk to her husband.

All my best,
Dawn

I think it's fairly obvious that you feel it is the parent's responsibility. The parent, on the other hand, probably is thinking this is what they pay you for.

I think you need to speak to them and ask them to change their kid before they leave if you are otherwise engaged. Explain to them, what you explained to us. You don't want the kid to get a bad rash because you cannot change them at that moment. Or you can wait to feed the baby until the other kid gets dropped off and change him right away.

It depends... Sometimes the parent just doesn't have time to stay and clean up the child. (gotta get to work, appt. whatever) BUT... If the parent has time they should clean it up IMO. It's not the daycare provider's fault the parent didn't have their child 'go' before leaving the house.

I always make sure my kids are poop-free before handing them over to the care provider.... even if that means running late. If the poop didn't happen on "their-time", they shouldn't have to clean it up. I generally just keep the mini-van side door open and do it right there (I keep wipes and diapers in a side pocket on the door and some baggies). If your care provider is nice and doesn't care, that is one thing....but I wouldn't want to change extra poops I don't have to :) We now have an au pair and if we are running late, she OFFERS to do it. If she didn't, I would do it and run late....

If it's en route, then it's the parent's responsibility.

If you've already dropped him off and your time has started, in which you are paying, then it's theirs. BUT if you are still there, then common courtesy would be to change your own child's diaper.

This has happened to us a few times. When I'm dropping him, I apologize, let them know and always offer to change him. They always smile and refuse saying they will take care of it. I think the important thing is to offer and apologize. Not to ignore it.

If the provider is feeding another child... well in our daycare there is always more than one provider present?

Ok..I am sorry but this seems silly to me? I have done home daycare for 14 years, and for many reasons I would never be so nit-picky as to make a parent change a poo diaper just because it happened in the car en-route. Not that its the best way to start my day...and it might take a few minutes for me to get to it (and we all suffer the stench till I do), but really?

For starters, my changing set up is down in my playroom, off to the side at the start of the hallway... .and kids go right to the table (on the main level where they enter) to eat upon arrival (so a parent would need to remove shoes and such, go downstairs, etc and get to it..sometimes my playroom is not even lights on or whatever yet). I just always tease the parent a little...finish up what I am doing enough to run down quick and change the diaper (I am super fast! Loads of assembly line diapering experience!). Then we return to our regularly scheduled "program". No biggie and part of my job.

Responsibility? I guess that's not the word I would choose. I've done some providing, and the morning rush can be crazy. I always said, "Don't worry about it," because I know it's tough, and mom really needed to get to work. When the situation was reversed, I would have wanted to change my own kid and not put the burden on the provider, but she always looked at me and said, "It's not big deal. I do this all the time."

Really, is it that big of a burden either way? If you have time and want to, fine. If you need to get to work, you need to get to work. Don't stress!

Mine don't go to daycare now, but my oldest used to...We had a 45 minute commute, so this happened quite a few times.
I always offered, and the daycare always denyed my offer. I believe that they have certain procedures for changing diapers and cleaning up, so she would not let me do it.

Totally depends on the situation, it's not an answer that would apply all the time.
If the parent is in a hurry and doesn't have time then the childcare provider should do it. If the parent has the time and ability and the childcare provider is too busy to do it right away, then the parent should do it. If the childcare provider is busy and the parent is in a hurry then its the childcare provider who should make the time to change the diaper. (They are the paid service provider in the situation)

I would change my child if they pooped in route to the kids day out. And it happened like 8 times out of 10. But it is only nice to hand your child over clean and fresh...I am sure they change plenty of your child's diapers with out having to start the day that way.

I think I would tell the Dad that if he didn't start changing the poopy diapers AT DROP OFF and at home and the boy kept having rashes that I would be calling CPS. That is so rediculous. It is his child. I can guarantee if either one of my children had pooped en route they would be changed. That is beyond pathetic.

I know with my son he's pooped on the way, but then when it came down to it, in the moment of him crying and realizing where he is at and then me needing to leave, I forget. On days that he has a cloth diaper, I try my hardest to remember to take it off. But I'm human and I have forgotten. But that guy is just rude.

I always either change my child or offer to change him when we arrive if he's dirty when we arrive. My youngest always has 2 or 3 teachers and aides in his room, so usually someone is available and they just say, "No, no -let me do it." If the provider was alone and feeding another child or otherwise occupied, I would automatically change him myself.

I am a Toddler Teacher at a center and that's one of our pet peeves. IMO the polite thing to do is change your child before you leave if you have time - however we recently (Monday!) had to change our policy that parents can't change their children at the center because they were not following our licensing/center guidelines (washing hands, spraying the mat, diapers in the diaper pail only, changing in the bathroom not the hallway). It'd be nice if they apologized "oh I'm sorry Johnny pooped on the way over".

IMO, the dad should change him as soon as he walks through your door. :)

I would change my own child. Maybe on an odd occasion if I was running super late I might ask if you could do it knowing that means a slight wait

I think it is the parent's responsibility

No I would not normally drop off my daughter with a stinky diaper but this week (Tuesday) I took my daughter out of the car and noticed a stinky diaper. I was wondering as I walked in what should I do? Should I change her or hand her over? But the protocol at my day care is that they don't allow parents to come all the way inside the infant room due to germs on shoes. You either have to stay at door or put on these hospital type shoe covers to come in. I didn't have time for the shoe covers and they really don't seem to love us parents coming all the way in even with the covers (its a small space and they have plenty of teachers) so I just told them "by the way I think I smell a stinky diaper....sorry, bye!"

They were fine with it but I felt guilty about it all day. When i picked her up I realized.....the flowers beds had just been replanted, fertilized and mulched - smelled full of manure! It wasn't my sweetie after all - haha!

If your child poops while going to the daycare--- mommy should change him/her always! Not childcare responsibility to change stinky diaper the min child gets there.

M

If I were you, I would have a talk with Mom about this. I'm guessing she would not be happy.

If you show up with a dirty diaper I think you should attempt to change it before you leave. If the caretaker offers to do it then so be it. My mother has had her own in home daycare for almost 30 years and that seems pretty fair, unless you're running late then let them know and apologize as a courtesy as you dash out. Ha just read your update, maybe you should have rephrased the question. I think you should ask him to change the diaper or mention it to mom.

honestly, if i had the time as the parent, i would do it. but if you dont have the time, i would simply give the child care provider a very polite "im so sorry, he did this in the car, and im going to be late." something like that. i mean honestly, its not like the child care provider hasnt changed a poopy diaper before or something. no its not fun, but its not like you can do anything about the time your child poops.

That is a tough one but my opinion on the matter is I should drop off my child in the same state that I expect to have him/her back. I know how upset I would be if I picked up my child and they were soiled so why drop them off in that condition? Until the parent leaves the facility the child is in their parents care and they are responsible for them.

Good luck.

It's been awhile since I've drop babies/toddlers at daycare. However, if I knew they did and I wasn't running late to work, I'd change it. If not, I would assume the daycare would change the diaper. My kids however, had a thing about doing that at home right before I planned to leave anywhere... It never failed either, I would be on my way out the door and you could smell it...

I don't know that I would focus so much on whose "responsibility" it is as much as I would focus on communication with the daycare. .

I usually don't have an extra 5 minutes to stand and change my little one each morning, so on the mornings I wouldn't have time, I would simply say, "I think he went to the bathroom on the way here, could you check? I will be late if I stay or I would be happy to do it." If they are feeding another baby, they will likely get to the diaper soon after feeding is complete. If you do have time to change him or her, then offer and see what they say. Then be thankful for whatever they do, say so, and get them a nice little gift at Christmas. That should make up for any poop they have to deal with - or at least we hope! =) God bless our daycare providers!!

I went to a daycare facility that wouldn't LET me change him after he had been brought in. It was their responsibility as soon as he was signed in. I would offer, they would decline. I didn't mind doing it and I would have prefered to do it for the reasons you stated (red bottom, squishy, up the back) but understood they had other pressing issues and would just have to wait that 10 to 15 minutes (which is understandable). They sighted legal reason such as if he had fallen off the changing table or whatever the case may be. The only way around it would have been to change him in the car before entering the facility (on a military base). For our situation, it was the provider's responsibility.

Change your baby. I wouldn't risk that my baby sit in it till she can get to it. Or heck maybe she'll forget for a bit after that. Change your baby then get out the door.

Oh and read your update just now. What a D word. Feel bad for that kid. He'll always be ignored by dad how much you wanna bet. Sucky

My daycare's procedure is that they check and change, if needed, all the kids as they come in. Knowing that, I have a handful of times in 3.5 years dropped off a kid with a dirty diaper. However, if that weren't the policy or it happened frequently, I would at the very least, let them know and apologize, and would likely offer to change the baby.

I have had this situation happen a few times. Once I changed his diaper myself and another time I offered to and they said they would take care of it. So I think your best bet is to let them know and offer to change them and see what they say.

I think a person should bring a clean child to daycare.

Back when I took my son to daycare I always thought it was mine. I didn't want to leave a dirty diaper for the provider to handle first thing. If I was in a huge rush though I would just say, "I think he may be dirty, do you mind checking? I've got to go or I'm gonna be late."

I'm not a provider, nor did my kids ever spend any time in daycare.. although they did spend time in nursery at church or at the gym. My take is that if it is habitual (like it sounds it might be... 3 out of 5 mornings)... then the parent should expect that it is going to happen in the car and take appropriate steps to deal with that. Ideally, they begin leaving home a few minutes earlier. That way, either they allow themselves time to clean up their child once they arrive (since you are obviously busy at that time) or they arrive BEFORE you have started feeding the baby so that YOU are available to deal with it.

I would have changed the baby before leaving also but I know my sons and my husband would have left it for the day care provider. Dad's don't think like mom's do on somethings. Next time just say "would you mind changing him before you go since I am feeding the baby" The most he can do is say "no, I have to go" Chances are though, he pooped at home and dad didn't want to change it so brought him with it knowing you will take care of it.

I would change my child but especially if I knew that your hands were busy when I arrived at drop off.

You should probably say something the next time it happens. Perhaps, "Oh my, Tommy has a poopy. I am feeding Alexis right now, do you think you could get that? I don't want him getting a rash."

The next day, "Oh, look at how regular he is! I am in the same predicament feeding Alexis. Do you think you can get that so he doesn't get a rash?"

Hopefully that father will get the hint that you care greatly about his son and are just looking out for his best interests.

Good luck!

I agree that this is not an issue of responsibility, but communication. It simply sounds as if the dad is uncomfortable communicating about it with you, which is understandable. I think that if this is a regular occurrence as you say, perhaps you could feed the baby 15 minutes earlier or 15 minutes later to be able to be available to change this child's diaper when he arrives. Or you can communicate to the dad that he needs to change his child's diaper before he leaves.

I always changed mine.