Why - Occoquan,VA

Updated on July 28, 2012
M.B. asks from Occoquan, VA
21 answers

**ADDED. Okay, I know it is really hard to convey tone here... I'm really meaning this in a light manner... REALLY:) I'm all smiles and relaxed and have had a couple beers... I'm good. Really. Yes, I honestly would prefer to not see someone naked... but I'm not raging over it- I'm okay with it... JUST if I had a choice.....**

...WHY be naked in a "grouped" shower area and try to hide yourself (she tried to simultaneously cover herself with a towel while washing herself- first naked grown woman my girls have seen and it wasn't me) when there are SINGLE curtained showers also available in the locker room (6 of them, to be exact)? Never mind rinsing/showering with your swimsuit on when in public (I was a swimmer my whole childhood, swim team, and NEVER took a shower w/o swimsuit on). in FACT, it is quite convenient because not only you get the chlorine off your body, but the swimsuit as well and all you gotta do (unless you've worn it a bunch of times) is put it out to dry and you are good to use it the following day as opposed to constantly washing it.

Why be naked in the open at all when there are strangers and little kids (boys and girls) all over the place? When there are closed changing rooms and closed showers???

I REALLY think there should be clear rules for locker rooms- especially to protect children and other people from stuff "happening" (Sandusky, anyone?)... also, for not only that, but WHY must you be forced to see someone naked when you don't want to? It shouldn't just up to the naked person, but it SHOULD be up to all those around the naked person, they are involved as well; in fact, it is worse for THEM -the witnesses- than anyone else....

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So What Happened?

KIKI: you didn't read everything I wrote... and sadly, I WAS one of those fully clothed children that was molested... SEVERAL years... by a family member that was totally trusted. I'm not an effing idiot, and I have NO TIME on my hands. I have 4 children and I'm a stay at home mom, I volunteer, work hard and and have NO "me" time or anything. i GUESS saying that I mean something in a "light manner" means nothing and you will go ahead and assume the exact opposite!!! you are absolutely wrong. i NEVER said my kids are gonna be molested in a locker room (for ONE, I'm NOT a stupid mom that lets her kids be alone in a situation like that)and I SHOULD KNOW if anyone how/when it happens. I'm scarred for the rest of my damn life!!! My precious angels are NOT put into the hands of some retarded momma who is naive and clueless... GEEZ, you've got no idea!!!! Bad assumption. and read everything first... geeez!!!!!! You just made something that was meant to be a casual issue into something that is the opposite. take it easy!! I've been on this site for 6+ years- I know etiquette and who's got it and who doesn't..... YOU take it easy, I don't need to.

Reverend Ruby- homeless or not, there are private showers and she COULD have kept her swimsuit on...

Mama zita: NO, not at all! :) LOL:) I'm separately saying that rules in locker rooms could possibly be awesome.... and separately HELP PREVENT what happened. really. If children AND adults see the rules posted in both the male and female locker rooms then things are more clear in what is acceptable. I'm just saying that rules could benefit beyond satisfying a person like me that would rather NOT see naked ladies and kids all over the place. LOL.

Cheryl: No, that did not happen. There is an area of like... 8 or so shower heads and they are all in one place, no diving curtains or dividing ANYthing. and THEN there's another area of about 6 showers where each is separate and enclosed... private. This lady was ALL about privacy in the open shower area. I had my four girls in the open shower area because all I wanted them to do was rinse off, and thought it would be RIDICULOUS for each of them to have a private shower (I assume are in place in case someone wanted to be naked in the shower) because they had their suits on. this woman came in and showered and tried to cover hersel the whole time when she could have just easily taken a private shower... that's all. No biggie:)

BTW, I'm in a good mood- I'm not mad. I'm just expressive, and I have a beer right next to the keyboard and thought I'd bring up this -not so important- subject:) all smiley, really!

Yes, I KNOW that my kids will see naked people... like I said I was a swimmer... and i was all year round meaning I saw indoor and outdoor locker rooms- and many of them because of the traveling with swim meets. I just don't understand people like her AND ALSO, why not have some rules in place in them? why does it have to be a free for all JUST BECAUSE it's a locker room?!? Some things can change, and I don't think rules are bad in this case.

I'll still let me girls in the locker room and I honestly know that they are not being harmed just by seeing a naked person, but It would not hurt to change things a bit and make it so ALL people in locker rooms feel comfortable. ALL PEOPLE.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

Why go into a locker room if you can't handle seeing naked people? Just go shower at home. We don't need rules governing locker room nudity, you just need to stay out of places where it is normal to encounter it. It is up to you, no one is forcing you to be there, get over it or get out.

And by the way, nudity is perfectly normal and safe for children. Children don't get molested as the result of proximity to nakedness, they get molested as the result of molesters.

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

Maybe she didn't see the private shower area???????

Maybe she is a homeless person and snuck in to get a shower??????

Who knows????

5 moms found this helpful

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A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have a problem with nudity, especially in a locker room. What I find interesting is that she tried to hide herself with a towel while washing herself when she could have simply used a curtained shower. That seems so odd. So, I have no answer for you. It seems like she made an odd choice.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I don't ever remember being forced into seeing someone naked. There are plenty of other things for me to look at, that don't involve nakedness.

Good lord, maybe she was covering herself from you!! You seemed to be VERY observant of her. She was probably fine until your eyes were burning holes.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Really? You are comparing a woman who may be lacking in shower room etiquette (in full view of others) to a child molester who went out of his way to get himself alone and nude with young boys?
Again, really?
I suggest you go pour yourself a glass of wine and RELAX. A naked woman in a locker room may be annoying to you, and perhaps be a bit weird for your kids, but unless you are sending your children in to shower all alone with strangers what is your point?

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

ETA, your reaction the situation makes more sense now, and I am sorry that you went through what you did. I'm guessing that is has affected you very negatively where sex, nudity, etc. is concerned. If that is the case, maybe the locker room isn't a place where you should be.

So, now you have to be fully covered in a locker room, where people shower, dress & freshen up? Good god. Seriously, what planet are you from?!!

You have the option not to look. You have the option to change in a single stall. No one is forcing you or your kids to look at anyone in various states of undress. It's not anyone's fault if you're a prude or that you haven't prepared your kids what they might experience or see in a locker room. Comparing that to a disgusting pedophile is completely out of place.

I think you have too much time on your hands and need something more important to worry about. If you think pervs aren't checking your kids out when they're fully clothed, you have another thing coming. Not to mention, kids are usually targeted by pervs they already know & trust, not random people in a locker room.

Might I suggest that YOU are the one with issues, and not the people actually doing what you're supposed to do in a locker room?!!

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

I'm with you! Honestly I hate seeing other people nude in the locker room. When I was in my 20's I used to go to a gym near my office before work where there were separate curtained shower stalls, each with a curtained, dry anteroom. So you could shower, then dry off and either dress completely or just put on some underwear (or at least a towel). It wasn't crowded so it wasn't like someone was waiting for the shower if you were taking a couple of minutes to cover up a bit.

Well there was one woman about my age who paraded around completely naked every day. Seriously the last thing that she would do was get dressed. She would shower, exit dripping wet and then towel off in the main area while sitting her naked behind on a bench (gross), legs splayed, then would blow dry her hair, brush her teeth, put on make up all totally naked, pubic hair and breasts right there in the mirror next to you, casually chatting away for 20 minutes. Then she would finally dress and head out. I can understand wanting to groom in panties and a bra, or a towel or a robe because it's hot in there, but I don't get the need to be without a stitch of clothing in a room full of people who are all somewhat covered up. Have a little modesty, right?

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I have no issues with a locker room and someone in there naked. No one is holding me down and forcing me to look.

If you are uncomfortable with it, so what... that is how you feel so you go about your business the best way that makes you comfortable.

What I think is bad here is the potential message you being sent to your children that nudity, bodies are "dirty", etc which in turn can hurt them in the long run by having body issues and even viewing sex and dirty as well.

I am sorry you went through a horrible experience as a child. Molesters are typically friends of the family, not some stranger in the locker room in the shower.

As far as her covering herself somewhat while in the shower, maybe you made her feel uncomfortable by gawking a little too much. You don't have to look.

I hope you are able to work through this for yourself and maintain to your children that nudity is a part of life and nothing to be ashamed of.

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I get you.

I don't want to see naked people either. Sometimes you have to if you are in a locker room, though.

I don't think people understand the "forced' thing. If there is someone naked in front or nearby you, you don't need to stare to notice them. They have taken it upon themselves to dress/undress/shower nakedly in public. If they are in a place that you are in, it IS "forcing" because they choose to be RIGHT THERE. LOL. It is not like someone chooses to have people that get naked or not be with them when they enter a locker room. The people already there make that choice. It also depends on the locker room. Some are more private than others.

Either way, anyone giving her a hard time should relax. I really do take it to heart that she is being casual about this issue. Why must people get so mad about a person not wanting to see them naked anyways??? HAHAHA!

Do YOU guys get naked and want people to see you or something? Are YOU guys the ones that choose not to use the private areas? Are you craving attention that you don't get at home or something? LOL. Yes, I'm kidding... sorta;)

I've been on Mamapedia for a while, but this is my first response:) Yea for me!

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I am never ever ever ever going to be naked in a shower. That being said...if a woman is taking a shower in a woman's locker room and she is naked *I* have the option of averting my eyes.
Sandusky happened because he is a perv and the person that came in and SAW it happening is a sack of sh!t and couldn't get enough balls to go over and pull that man off of that boy. If I saw some woman being innapropriate with a child you better believe I would be there in a heartbeat. But, I don't think that taking a shower is wrong. She is obviously more comfortable with her body then I EVER will be.
L.
I have a friend who is living in Japan and they go to these things called an "onsen" where women go of ALL shapes and sizes, naked as the day they were born. While my girlfriend certainly felt a bit weird at first she is now in there just like everyone else. It's normal for them. In fact, they probably think we are prudes. lol

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M..

answers from Detroit on

Its..a..locker room. If I had a dollar for each boob my children and I have seen in a locker room, I would be a rich woman.

Explain to your kids, locker rooms are private areas and you will see things like that, or dont go.

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

You can't equate what you would do with what others are comfortable with. I know at the YMCA most leave their suit on but those that don't it matters not which showers they use. We are all grown ups.

Granted I would find it funny that she is trying to cover up with a towel if she is using the public area.

I can say, since I have used the stalls, if you are even slightly claustrophobic you would not be able to handle a shower in those stalls.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

If it was a ladies locker room then she shouldn't have to cover up. Locker rooms are gender specific so that people can feel comfortable exposing their naked bodies in order to shower and change. Some people feel very uncomfortable in confined spaces, such as small shower stalls, and I'm not sure that showering in a swimsuit is very effective either (hard to wash all the important bits). Many people don't have time to shower in a swimsuit at the pool, then go home and have another shower just to wash. Now if she was in a mixed gender/family change room that is another story...

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

sorry - I don't get it. It's a locker room. people should expect to see nakedness in there....you aren't "forced" to see it.

our locker rooms have shower curtains and actual doors in some gyms. Our pools have plastic curtains....

this is the time to talk to your children about privacy and not running in a locker room and opening shower curtains (which it sounds like what your child did, right?) or am i misunderstanding your post?

I wouldn't stress over it. It's a locker room.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Do you think there's a chance that she was completely unaware of the existence of the private showers? And never thought of keeping her suit on? Maybe it was her first visit or the first visit that she had to take a shower? That would explain it completely.

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A.K.

answers from Bloomington on

I'm a frequent gym goer & that seems odd to me. Just like when I was in the hot tub & looked up from my magazine, to see a woman layed completely out on the tile floor, on her back, boobs hang'n over, nips on the tile, totally naked. I was forced to look at her because I thought maybe she was having a medical issue but nope, she was fine. She was gone , when I got out, thank goodness.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I can understand some of how you feel. It makes me uncomfortable to see naked people in the dressing room and as much as i try to look at the ground ceiling or wall they alway want to strike up conversation with me sometimes while they are clothed and then start undressing! I'm like whoa! Cause I always make eye contact when talking to folks, but a if breast pop out while your talking to me or you turn around and bend over while talking to me (yes had happened) and i see all your butt, it makes me uncomfortable, because I really don't want to see all that but its there! I can look away but naked is naked! I get your point M. B. And I get the point that women have the right to be naked in the dressing room too. to me its just something I deal with.

Bug-you're funny and probably right! lol

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

While I did not see your original question, it reminded me of a couple of issues discussed the other day. Here's one of them:

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/18366139368588115969

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

If you don't want to see naked people, don't go somewhere that there is a likelihood that is going to happen.

When my daughter was very young, we had a swim membership. I took her swimming every night when I got off work. It helped relieve the stress and tension of the day and we had a wonderful time together. Before we ever went the first time, I explained to her that there might be people in the changing room taking off their suits, showering, and naked while they changed their clothes. I told her it wasn't polite to stare or point or giggle. I told her if she wasn't comfortable with it, we didn't have to swim. She actually had no problem with it at all. There were only a couple of stalls that were private, not nearly enough to accommodate everyone in there. I had my daughter rinse off in her suit and dried her off pretty well then put a very large t-shirt on her so she could take her suit off underneath. I dried her off a little better and then slipped her little tank top and panties on under. Then she could take off the big t-shirt and continue getting dressed. She didn't mind other naked woman at all, but she was a little more modest and we found a simple way to keep her covered up.

I certainly wouldn't want to see someone naked walking down the street, but if I go into a locker room where there is a common shower area, I don't see the need to get all upset if there is someone showering in the nude.

I'm sorry something terrible happened to you as a child, I really am. But, other people being comfortable enough to shower and change in an area that is clearly designated for that purpose shouldn't be taken as an intended affront to your tender sensibilities.

It also certainly doesn't mean that people who shower or change in such areas are the same as molesters.

Just my opinion.

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P.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I think its funny how in the US people are so oh thats's taboo...i was raised in Korea where they have bathhouses where lots of naked women bonding and talking and we dont stare at each others parts. Unfortunately being in US so long now am teaching daughter to be too modest...should let go of body issues esp in a locker room. I guess PW county is diff than FFX Co too. At all the rec center pools they actually have a few locker room rules posted, one being that children of opposite gender can't go into a women's locker room after age 7 and vice versa for men's locker room. But it is odd the woman wa showering publicly and then tried covering up..maybe she did it when you and the kids came in to try and be modest for the children.

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V.Z.

answers from Washington DC on

Me having 6 kids and sometimes having to deal with locker rooms and all the unknowns with it (Should I bring a 5 year old boy in here? etc.), I think set rules would be a great idea. It is actually odd that rules have not been set in place regarding age and also in ways of GUIDING the women to use the private areas to dress and undress. It baffles me that some people choose not to use those areas. I do not think it is a crime to see naked women in locker rooms, but i also do not think it is a bad idea to help those parents and any other woman who don't wish to see the nakedness to have more 'freedom" in the locker room and set rules so that everyone can be at ease. Although, most I have been in have areas already set in place for privacy- it is just that some women totally ignore the privacy thing. Not very proper or considerate if you ask me!

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