Why We Hurt Overself for others,Is That Gud or bad???...or Just the Human Nature

You are definately not alone. I too, constintly get hurt in situations because I do not speak up for myself. Its hard for me to tell a friend or family member NO, so I get taken advantage of and walked on. Its not fun, and I wouldn't do that to anybody else. I think we're just too nice. And I don't want to start a fight or have them mad at me so I don't say anything. I know exactly how you feel.

I got some good advice recently from an old friend: "Never make someone a priority if they only make you an option."

If you have friendships with people that really care about you, speak up if someone says or does something out of line. If you think your friends don't care about you, then it might be time to find some new friends.

Good luck,
R.

That always happens to me too. I think it's because we come from a different generation or culture. Sometimes it hurts to be honest and careful. When you make sure you're doing the right thing, it's easy to get hurt sometimes. I just did it today, which means I may have very nievely messed my family up because I want to try to protect myself and everyone else from possible problems. In the process, I've created a bigger problem and am nervously waiting the results. Things aren't always straight forward and that is why it is so easy to think you're trying to do good, but wind up being your own enemy. There's no way to prevent this, but to learn from the experience.

Niv,
I am so glad you wrote. Maybe this will help you. In my Christian faith, we learn how to love everyone as we love ourselves. This doesn't equal saying yes to everyone for their approval but learning how to live a balanced life. I have also learned that not every friendly person is my friend, not all friends will be in your life for forever. Some people are only in your life for a season but everyone is in your life for a reason.

We learn so many life lessons through our interactions with others. We learn how to love, forgive, the value of saying yes and no, time management, what is really important and so many other things.

One of the things I love about God is how he made each of us. He gave us a heart to love others but he was wise enough to put that vulnerable, strong yet fragile organ in our chest behind our rib cage protected from most hurt or harm that could come to it. We can learn so much from that by keeping our hearts protected.

Sometimes our hurt feelings don't come from the other person intentionally hurting us but because we tend to take everything so incredibly personal. Everything isn't personal. That "friend" didn't rush us off the phone or didn't speak to us out of malice but because they were just consumed by their own life struggles.

As a Christian, God is teaching me how to love myself better and as an extension of my relationship with God and myself the quality of my relationship with others is changing and becoming richer and more fulfulling but God is always my best friend and there for me and someone I can always talk to about everything from small to large and in between.

I'm not really sure from your post what you mean by getting hurt.Sometimes we are afraid to say no because we think we might lose that friend. If doing something for a friend is too much or makes you neglect something then you should say no. If they are a good friend they wont get mad. If it is something your friend says that hurts your feelings, then think about why your feelings are hurt, are you too sensitive? Or maybe your friend was being rude. Talk it over with them and tell them how you feel.