Wiping

I have a 5 year old and she wipes herself only after she pees. I help her when she has pooped. I think it is ok. First of all she can't reach properly nor will she get it clean. I'd rather do the job until she can reach properly and get clean rather then get some sort of rash or smell bad. At her school (in Sweden) the teachers help her and all the other kids who need it. Don't make a big deal out of it. I think a lot of times we look at other kids and compare too much, which is wrong since they all develop differently.

Wow, I think he is doing very well actually!! It's not a bad idea that you still wipe him - he is not quite ready to lose that baby connection with you - and you get the job done properly. In order to wean him away from this you could start by being with him while he wipes himself, and then rewarding a job well done and then move on to rewards for doing it alone. But for him the wiping is not the issue, it's the one on one attention with Mom.

Have you tried Kandoo wipes (or something similar)? My kids use them and love them because they're much easier to use than toilet paper. Good luck. :)

The same was true for my son...but fortunately he was going to preschool for two days a week...I had several discussions with him that he would need to start practicing to do it on his own because he would need to do it himself at school...at first he would say that he never poops while at school...but eventually I kept asking him to try to do it and he would practice until he was confident enough to fully do it on his own...those wet flushable wipees are great!! after he would do it I would always inspect and he did a great job because he knew that I was checking on his progress....good luck...he will get it soon. =)

I bought my son the flushable wipes. They are easier to use and don't stick.. He just turned 6 and can use regular TP now without problem.

J.,
I suggest using the "sticker" reward system, as used for potty training. It would go like this:

Create WEEKLY calendar on a large colorful poster board.(I suggest covering it with clear contact paper so it can be used for each week)
Then place his favorite cartoon or superhero stickers (cut into individual ones) in a small basket, or open container placed next to poster. Each time he wipes himself he will EARN the reward of taking the sticker, of his choice, peeling off the back, and placing it on that day of the week. At the end of the week, if he earns 7 stickers (or you decide up front how many he should earn, to start), then he gets to pick a SURPRISE out of a Grab Bag (items
should be gift wrapped or in sealed colorful bags).
Each week you INCREASE the number he needs to earn for the week, in order to pick out of the Grab Bag. All of a sudden, he's doing it EVERY time!
Best of everything! A Gramma of 4 GREAT kiddos

I am a SAHM also with 5 children. My oldest is 15 and youngest is 4. My 4 year old has been potty trained since just after two....I wouldnt worry about it. He still likes me to wipe him also. He is almost 5 and will be starting kindergarten in the fall. The funny thing is if I am not around, for instance he is at my moms or a sitter he will do it just fine. I think he just likes the fact that it is one way to still stay a baby and not grow up. We talk about having to do it at school and he says he will...so we will see. Two of my other two boys did the same thing. And when they went to school it stopped. Something you might try is the wet wipes that are flushable and having a special soap for him to use when he gets done...Mine likes the froggy one...I cant think of the brand name off hand but it is green with a frog on it and foams out of the despencer. Good luck to you.

My son does it because I do it to his baby sister and he wants to be babied.

Same deal. We potty trained our son the week of his 3rd birthday and around 4, we completely stopped wiping him. We got him flushable wet wipes which allows it to go easier, plus we rewarded him with gold coins that he gets to put in his treasure box that he can exchange for fun days with Daddy or Disneyland, etc.

During the process, he could cry and say, "I need you to wipe me." We told him no. He was big enough. I also asked him how would he like if if Daddy asked him to wipe HIS butt? He didn't think that was such a good idea. I explained that wiping your own butt if very important...and it's not something that someone else should do when you are big and using the toilet. We've been asked twice since he turned 5.

I had the same issue with my daughter... she's 5 years old now, and only this year, has she been "able" to wipe herself after making Number 2. She'll also do it fine, if she has to poop at school... she tells me and is proud.

Sometimes it 's just hard for them to reach back there.
He'll be better about it when he's ready.

With my girl too, her thing was also that she didn't feel she could wipe it COMPLETELY clean as I could do it for her.

I imagine lots of kids are this way... potty training is one thing to master, then wiping themselves after making number 2, is another thing to master. It will evolve.

Is your son in school yet? Maybe when he is in school, he will be more able to do it.... since Mommy isn't there to do it. LOL.

Good luck,
~Susan

Alot of kids can't properly wipe until they are nearly 5 years old, so I would just continue to encourage him, but not worry about it too much. You might suggest that he do it first and then you'll do "clean up". As time goes, he'll become more independent, especially if you don't rush to assist him every time he needs some help.

Try rewarding him with a sticker or something pro active to stimulate him succeeding in wiping himself. If he can wipe himself for a full week without your help tell him he gets to go to the toy store and pick one toy for example. Other wise make it a game.

He eventually will do it himself...I think he just likes you to do it. Probably because at one time you made some innocent little comment like "I can make sure you are clean" and he feels like he needs your expertise! Try getting some of those flushable wipes and show him how to use them and how he can figure out himself if he's "clean". Don't worry, my daughter was the same way. Now that she's in school, she is more comfortable doing it herself.

I had to help my son wipe until he was at least 6 (if I remember correctly, it may have been a little longer).
He just couldn't reach it that well and had a little trouble with the dexterity of getting back there.
He's 12 now and has been wiping all on his own for quite a while now.
I would have him wipe the best he could and then he'd holler for me to come wipe.
I think it was a little bothersome at the time but now, it's just a faded memory of the once, very, little boy who is now beginning to become a man...Now we're dealing with the issue of his having hair :)

I am in the same boat, so I will read the responses to your request. I feel better knowing that I am not alone and this appears to be a normal process.

Have you tried the toilet paper with the puppy & paw prints? That can be used as his very own toilet paper that only HE can wipe with; or the kids flushable wipes can be used the same way. If he has his very one stuff he might feel important & want to wipe himself???? Good luck

My daughter is four and she occasionally has a potty accident and I too ask, should she be doing this at her age?
When my son, now 8, was around seven years of age, I wiped his bottom for him for the very last time. Now that's pushing it! BUT he is very innocent and honest. He just couldn't get himself all the way clean and it frustrated him! I then explained to him that was the very last time EVER!! Anyway, your son is very little and may need extra help for awhile longer. Keep helping and encouraging and don't worry, he'll get it one day. After all, they are babyish in some ways until they are about 9, then those days are gone forever.

Mother of 3 and I used to be a preschool teacher over a 11 year period. All the schools required that a 4yr old be able to wipe themselves. It's not to young for them to do it alone! You supervise and show them how."Wipe until you don't see anymore poop" and show them what to do with the toilet paper before and after wiping. At 3 even it can be done, but for the most some still need help. A 4 yr old CAN and should be getting dressed alone, feed themselves, learn to write their name, the alphabet and numbers (they can wipe)!!

Hi J.,

Try to bring a calendar or something that you can patch a sticker. Everytime he do something by himself, give him a sticker and praise him by saying god job.

Hope this help.

G.

Hi J.,
My son is almost 6. He just started to wipe himself on his own. He can wipe himself if it's not messy but if it is messy he still needs help from a grown up. I still check him most of the time because sometimes he misses a spot. I think 4 is still too young to wipe himself on his own without supervision - they can't really reach around to make sure that they are clean and if it's messy they really can't do it on their own. But if you really want him to try, maybe try some special treat as incentive if he does it. If not, he may just not be ready to do it on his own. Also, he sees you wiping the younger kids so that is probably part of the reason he wants you to do it.

Good luck.

J.,
My son is also 4 and still wants either myself or daddy to wipe him. I use Huggies clean team flushable wipes to help him, but when he goes #2 he still wants to be wiped. Since your youngest is only 4 months your son probably wants some extra attention. He sees you wiping the baby and wants that same closeness with you. Pretty soon he will be over it and you will miss all the little things you did with him.

Just stand there and tell him he has to wipe his butt or he will have to sit on the pot all day untill he does.
Be firm Mom ,you are in charge.

Hi J.,

I have two boys, now 11 and 12 years old. The older son had me wiping him until he was six!!! I finally decided that it needed to stop. He was perfectly capable, but just wanted me to do it.
I had been been using a sticker chart and prize box reward system for other things, so I decided to apply it to wiping also. It worked immediately!!!
It works like this: Tell your child that you are going to start rewarding them with a sticker each time he wipes himself. Make a weekly chart and hang it on the fridge. Let your son pick out the stickers at the store and let him stick it on the chart after he successfully wipes. When he gets to five stickers, (less or more, depending on how many times he goes in a day) let him pick a "prize" out of the "prize box". Then start over. The "prize box" consisted of a few items I picked up at the 99 cent store, such as books, balls, crayons, markers, cars...whatever they are into at the time. You may have to adjust the amount of stickers it takes to earn a prize. You don't want them getting a prize each day. At first, keep the goal attainable so they will be motivated, then you can stretch it out, and eventually stop. This technique also worked for getting him to stop coming in my room EVERY night and wanting to snuggle. I couldn't handle my sleep being disrupted anymore! The key is being consistant! It also teaches them to work toward a goal, and they like it because they are in control.
Good luck,
Pam

ou need to be firm, and tell him big boys wipe themselves, and you need not come out of the bathroom until you wipe, My kids were wiling themselves by 2 and a half. J.

Hi J.,

I was wondering when kids should start wiping themselves, too, and a Supernanny show said about three or four years old. I have a four and a half year old and an eight month old. My older son just finished potty training a few weeks ago (it took forever, but he decided when he was ready!) but he is wiping himself. First I showed him how to wipe himself. I give him one or two flushable wipes and then I do the last wipe myself to see how clean he is (he usually does a good job!). He likes to see how much is on the wipe before he puts it in the toilet (yuck!). So maybe you can see if your son will wipe himself once or twice and then you can wipe him after that.

Just so you know...the Kandoo wipes are thinner than the Huggies wipes, and the Huggies dispenser is easier to use and doesn't dry out as eaily as the Kandoo wipes' dispenser. I just use the Huggies dispenser and buy whatever wipes are on sale.

At first I insisted that I wipe my son's bottom, but he was willing to do it. Then I realized that he goes to daycare, and I want him to know how to wipe his own bottom when I'm not there. So far, he has been doing a good job, but I will probably do the last wipe for a while whenever I'm with him. Good luck with your little one! :)

P.S. I just spoke to my son's daycare teacher (she works with the 2 and 3 year olds and potty trains them) and she says the kids pretty much wipe themselves starting at three. So they all seem to be wiping their own bottoms at school at three and four. She says they do fine (she checks them, too). Good luck again. :)

Dear J.,

So sorry - no help . . . just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I have a 6 year old friend whose mother was worried about what would happen when he started school, because he too wanted her to wipe him when he went to the bathroom. AND, for a long time after he finally started wiping himself, he would come out of the bathroom and bend over in front of her (basically grabbing his ankles) so that she could to check to make sure he had gotten everything . . . I don't remember going through this with any of mine (1 boy and 2 girls), but I think it's just another of those things that is individual, and that he will come into it in his own time.

Good luck!
B.

(He'll get it eventually - or become awfully uncomfortable - because eventually Momma won't be there!)

Have you tried talking to him about school and his friends house that you can't always be there to do this job. If so then once he has to start doing it because you aren't there, he'll stop asking you because it will be faster for him to do it himself then to wait and yell for you to stop and come help him. At the same time this will be his learning curve so half the time he won't do it good enough and it will get sore back there, but that's when you teach him to do a better job and he'll understand why. I promise you won't be wiping it forever, then one day you'll look at him and say I use to wipe that cute but of yours. Good Luck! J.

My daughter is 5 and still asks me to wipe. At school she is on her own. I have heard that a child can wipe themselves after pooping when they can tie their own shoes. This makes sense to me. At home if she asks me I am more than happy to help out even if it's just peepee. I feel if she is asking for help (regardless of the circumstances) i will try to be there for her...