Wondering What to Do with Child # 1 If I Am Breasfeeding #2 - Rolling Meadows,IL

I BF my 2nd son when the first was 2 1/2. It was hard to occupy him while i did it. I would give him toys or let him color or something to keep him busy while i was BFing. With and older child it should be easier. Explain it before the baby comes and i think she will be fine at that age.

Explain to her with great happiness and excitement about the process of nursing. How cool it is that your body is making milk and that the baby lives off of that for the first part of their life. When I was nursing, I let my older ones look really close and answered all their questions.

I taught them that I could talk to them while the baby nursed, but would not be able to get up and do anything. (Try to get them that cup of juice before you sit down with the baby.)

My daughter liked to "nurse" her doll under her shirt all the time. It was too cute watching her copy me.

To keep your big girl busy while you are nursing, put a box in the baby's room with very special (quiet) items to play with while you nurse. My oldest was always excited when it was feeding time for the baby...she got to play with the things held out exclusively for that time. Keep a rotation, and wrap some things too.

L., I would suggest getting started on the explaining what and why soon before the baby gets here. Maybe start with a book and go from there. Explain that your breasts produce the milk the baby needs. Kids are amazing about what they will question. You will get way more questions about the breastfeeding than you will about how the baby gets out of you lol. I second the basket of stuff to do only why mommy is feeding the baby and also the snack time. we did the snuggling on the couch with a snack and blues clues while I fed the baby. worked out perfectly. if you tivo a show that is a good length you can watch it whenever the feeding time happens.

One doctor I know used to say, "Give your body to the baby and your mind to the older child." I liked that saying a lot! Once the baby has learned how to stay latched easily, you'll have a free hand to do things with your older child.
K., IBCLC

I'd explain it to her before the baby comes. We got a book by the Drs. Sears called "What Baby Needs". It's pretty crunchy, but does a great job of explaining about how much time a baby can take and how it was the same for your daughter when she was small. Talks about nursing, baby wearing, co-sleeping (the illustrations are of a co-sleeper, not the baby in the bed, but as our newer one was in a pack'n'play in our room, it did the trick).

My daugher was only 2 1/2 whe my son was born in July and she was fine. She knew that she could bring books over for us to read, stuff like that.

I also made sure that we had our regular babysitter come over to take my daughter out while the baby was really small and unpredictable which was very helpful!

Good luck!!

I have six children all 20 months apart so mine were younger when I was nursing the next baby. What worked for me was to include the other child while I was nursing so they didn't feel excluded. I usually had them sit next to me on the couch & bring a few favorite books & that would be our special story reading time. It also gave me a chance to put my feet up & relax a bit. Hope this helps & congrats on baby #2.

You might be pleasantly surprised! My daughter was 3 1/2 when I began breastfeeding #2 and I was very happy to see that there was actually no jealousy involved. Primarily, she was just curious about what I was doing. I saw this as an opportunity to teach my daughter to have a healthy body image. There are still women out there who get "weirded out" about breastfeeding because it involves their boobs. One of my closest friends felt this way. I would like for my daughter to realize that her body serves many different purposes and how wonderful it is that we can produce the healthiest food possible for our babies.

The next thing I knew, my daughter was breastfeeding her own toys! Too funny! She would take pillows, lay them in her lap, put dishtowels down over them (the way I used burp cloths), the whole thing! I thought this was very healthy role playing and something that came very naturally to her.

Just explain to your daughter that your baby has special needs because he is so small and that when she was that age, she needed the same special care. Focus on reminding your daughter that she's a "big girl" now...chances are she'll latch on to that idea and relish the idea of being the big sister. In that way, she will feel special too.

Good luck and congrats on your pending new arrival!

Hi L.,
Congrats on the new baby! Central DuPage Hospital offers big sibling classes, you might check on that type of class to help. Your hospital might have one, if you're not in this area. It was really cute to hear some of the answers kids gave to basic questions. You might pick out a new doll or stuffed animal before baby comes so she can take care of her baby, too.

Enjoy this great time!
D.

My DD was almost 5 when my twins were born, and she didn't have a problem at all with me nursing. She had a lot of questions which I answered as simply as possible. Once she understood, she would sometimes bring her little rocking chair and sit next to me and pretend to be nursing one of her dolls or stuffed animals at the same time I nursed. I also tried to always ask her if she needed anything (snack, drink, DVD started) before I sat down to nurse so she wouldn't feel like I was not responding to her needs.

I would say to have reading time with your first born. You have to occupy him while nursing. My kids were 21 months apart and I reall having very little issues. My son loved the reading time. You can explain to your first born that this is the only way the baby can eat and he/she needs not to be disturbed. It will all work out.

I'm just very frank about it with my 4 yr. old. I prepped him in advance (the Dr. Sears book does a v. nice, simple job with this), and he's asked a few questions about milk/breasts. But at this point, he's seen it all, even when I've pumped - I figured no need to hide at home. Actually, I think the visual of me pumping really stuck with him, he was like, "oh, there IS milk in there" - and then he's been SOOO excited to help dad give baby bottle, so I encourage you start a bottle routine after the first month.
But 5 is great - its not like she's going to run off and get into trouble when you are otherwise occupied like a 2 year old might. W/my son, I've just said, "its time to feed the baby, do you want to hang out in my room or yours?" or "What would you like to do while I feed her??" and we do books, or simple card games. He likes to play games on my iPhone, or cuddle up, or I can just watch him play whatever when we're in his room. I just try not to let the TV be the default all day. The only thing that has taken a bit of adjusting is when he asks me for something mid-feeding. He's def. had to learn to wait 10-15 minutes longer for stuff, which is new, but now that he's not an only child any more, necessary going forward. Indeed, his self-care and self-restraint has increased because of this!
The only thing that was sad was like a week or 2 in he said, "when is daddy going to take that baby and just you and me do something!?" - so again, whenever you can start a bottle routine and get out with your daughter for a bit just the 2 of you, that's v. important. You may just have to explain that its going to take a few more weeks to get there!
Best wishes!

I would often have my younger child pick a book to read during feeding time. They can hold the book and turn the pages while you read. Sometimes we would even turn on the TV and watch a program together while I nursed. Or since baby is eating, your daughter could have snack time too. You could even nurse at the table so you can all be together. This was my biggest concern when I was expecting #2, but my son was only 2 when I had my daughter. I don't know if he even knew enough to be jealous, but I still made it a point to spend a little bit of time alone with him each day. Fortunately, our transition went very smooth. It is amazing how quickly things seem to just work themselves out.

dr. Sears writes a great book called "What Baby Needs" that I bought for my daughter when my son was born. Mine were only 2 years apart but it's a great book and she still loves it at 3 1/2.

Hi L.!
I didn't nurse mine but during feedings I used to make sure I had a drink and snack ready bc it was inevitable that as soon as I started, my older ones(i have 3) would ask for something to eat or drink. I also had a little basket or "special" toys or crafts that they could only play with during feedings. It is difficult to balance at first but you'll be surprised how fast you and the your child adjust.
Congrats and best wishes!
K. :0)

I'm a breastfeeding Mom on my 4th little one... Your daughter is a perfect age!!! My 1st and 2nd where that age apart. I think they are so excited to have a sibling and are having their own life as well...they adjust quickly. As you probably remember nursing is so time consuming especailly in the beginning...the read a book to baby is a GREAT idea...just do a little pre explaining that baby's need to drink Mommy Milk(that's what we call it) especailly when they are brand new...let them know Mommy needs your help with that and give them a little project! Spend as much one on one time as you can especially in the beginning with #1. As this is pretty simple to do with baby taking lots of naps! Best wishes....sleep well, no worries just take one day at a time. You already have tons of Mommy experience your going to do just fine and with baby #2 it's even easier because you have done this before!!!!
D.