Hi Guys :)
My boyfriend just got a promotion at his job to supervisor. Problem is, now he works 2:30pm-11pm every stinkin night (M-F) and one Saturday per month. I work 8-5pm. We are on Day 3 and this truly SUCKS. The people that have made this work in their relationship - pleeeassssee tell me how? It's Wed and we've talked maybe 2 minutes TOTAL in person since Monday and probably an hour total on the phone with text messages here and there as well. (on my lunch break or his lunch break we try to call) - I'm starting to get a little depressed. (could be also that this week my daughter has been with her dad so I'm extra lonely) don't get me wrong, I've been to the gym and out to dinner w/friends but it's just not the same when I still come back to an empty house. Then my boyfriend gets home around midnight and I'm sound asleep :/ I wake up around 6am, leave for work around 7ish and he is sound asleep.
Advice please?! How does this type of relationship actually work?
Well, I just found out that til 11pm is until June 25 - then after that he will work til 10pm and until 11pm every 3rd week (rotating between 3 supervisors) - and he works one Saturday per month (rotating between Supervisors) .... His day off will more than likely be a Thursday, which will be nice to have the nights together that one night. He is the night Supervisor of his Dept - a great job opportunity (though not THAT much extra money) If he sticks this out for a while (probably a year or more) then he can potentially apply for a day supervisor position which would be absolutely AWESOME. It's just rough right now. I miss him. When he gets off at 10 at least I will see him for 30 min or so before I'm tired & ready for bed. Thanks for the advice so far. I agree, we will really have to make the most out of the time we do have together.
We've made it work. I was working 6:00 a.m. to noon. My husband was working 1:30 to 11 p.m.
It was hand off the baby, get the food/poop status, smooch & run!
Actually we got along very well.
But we're both pretty independent people.
Yes, it works. Does it suck? Absolutely! My husband and I have been doing it for almost 2 years now. It's great for childcare, but it's unbelievably hard to always be parenting by yourself. I miss my husband, but I get more stressed about always being with the kids by myself. Make time for each other on the weekend. Be sure to do things as a family, and also make a date night. Take this time to strengthen yourself as a person and find out who you are outside of being a mom and a girlfriend. Believe it or not, you will come to cherish the time you have to yourself, and you will appreciate the time you have together so much more.
My husband works M-F 3-11:30pm. I am a SAHM, but work part time outside the home a few mornings a week. I don't really miss spending time with him in the evening, but we've been together over 20 years and I am busy with kids in the evening. For me the hardest part is not eating dinner as a family. I actually really look forward to the quiet time after the kids go to bed and before he gets home. Make the most out of your weekends. Way back when we were first married he drove truck long distance, but I learned to appreciate my time alone, and it made me appreciate our time together even more.
My husband works 3-11pm Tuesday thru Saturday and I just started working 11:30pm-7:30am Wednesday thru Sunday. We literally do not see eachother because when I'm sleeping my husband is with the kids. When he leaves for work I get up and watch the kids. He gets home and I go to work. You get thee gist of how our house runs. It is very challenging and you have to keep all communication lines open. It's not easy on the parents, but the kids love that they do not have daycare, and they are never home alone. It takes getting use to, but once you find your routine you will see that it is possible. You need to give it a few months to see if it is something you and your boyfriend can handle in your relationship. This will be the second time that we have done this, but I know that it is right for our family.
The best of luck to you. Hang in there, and remember you can adjust to it as long as you both put effort into it.
My last two jobs and now my currant job is like this. My husband leaves at 4am for work and gets home at 4pm M-Th then has a 3 day weekend. I leave for work at 3pm and get home between 11:30-1am depending on my schedule. My days off are all over the place, I don't have the same two days off week to week.
It does suck because the only time you spend together is when you are laying in bed sleeping by one another when I work. But the days you have together are that much more special! We don't have the same time breaks to where we can even talk during the day. But we do leave each other notes if we have to relay something important and then during the day we will leave each other little heart felt texts.. just something to bring a smile to the others face and let them know we do love each other and we are thinking of each other.
For us it does work because it cuts down on daycare costs. Our marraige is strong enough to where we can go a few days with out seeing one another. We always make up for the missed days when we are together and spend all of our time together as a family when we can.
It will take some time to find what works for you both schedule wise around the house and with the kids. You will find that when you are together you do more as a couple and as a family other than sit around the house ( if you are like us).
It truely does make family time more of a bonding than a given. Good luck and I hope the best for ya.
I don't have any experience with this, but I know folks who have similar situations and they do make it work.. THey take care of all errands etc durng the times they are apart. And they make the most out of the time they have together and they try to find extra time... getting together for lunch once or twice a week, and maybe on his dinner break once or twice a week as well?
Good luck!
this is not for everyone....and that is why it is so very important to talk a lot about this decision well before doing it...is the extra pay he gets worth never seeing him? Most of the time it is not worth it...the only people I ever know that do this do it becuase they have to and that need outweights the desire to see each other...my guess is you probably do not need the extra few dollars he gets an hour...hugs and best of luck
Is his work schedule permanent? Or rotates among other Supervisors and changes every so often?
