Worried About Surgery..

I had my hysterectomy 10 yrs ago and I know you have heard this before.... It was the BEST thing I ever did for myself. I opted for everything to be removed abdominally and I went on the HRT patch. I am fully aware of any risks associated with my choice and I still, 10 years later, have ZERO regrets.

Some people will attempt to put the fear of God into you for having surgery. I noticed on a thread not too long ago (possibly yours) someone said why would you choose to have this surgery.. well, I didn't have the surgery just because I wanted to, I had it because it was indeed medically necessary. I don't know any people who like to just go through surgery for fun.... msot everyone does have surgery if it is medically necessary, DUH. If someone has not been in the position you are in (or anyone facing surgery) they have no say other than their simple opinion.

That said, everyone is different. I got a lot of info, sometimes TMI from www.hystersisters.com They have a lot of been there done that stories, what to expect at the hospital, recovery, etc.

For me, the worst part was waiting and stressing out before the surgery because it is a fear of the unknown.

Personally, my family was complete and I had no emotional ties to my female parts that were so sick. I was glad to be rid of the pain. I have a friend who was very depressed when she went through surgery because she felt like a failure. You are no failure if you need surgery and you get it which in turn you get your life back.

My surgery was at 10am, I was in my room recovering by 2:30. I spent 2 nights in the hospital. They did put an abdominal binder on me and I wore that thing faithfully for 6 weeks. I feared swelly belly worse than the surgery. Stay on top of pain meds and so you are not catching up to the pain. Actually, I only had pain meds in the hospital and not at home. I had 1 very bad day of pain and that was it. I laid around at home for the rest of the week and did not over do anything. You'll know if you overdo it.

I was very fortunate. I am petite, no weight issue, and I came through it like a champ. I do believe attitude has a lot to do with recovery. I went into surgery scared to death but when I came out, I knew it was all going to get better, a little at a time which it did. I was back to myself within a month.... still being careful and taking it easy though.. not running any marathons but realistic.

I never had the swelly belly (which I feared most), any weight gain, and I was at a track meet for my daughter within 3 weeks. Waiting 2 weeks to drive was not fun but doable. Right now you can barely tell I have a scar because I treated it with vitamin E oil to help minimize it. I still wear my bikini and rock in it. I have never felt or looked better in my life.

Of course the decision is very personal and between you and your Dr. My thoughts are why not have the surgery so you can be a better you in the long run.

Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions or concerns and I will gladly tell you what worked for me. I'll be thinking about you... Best wishes.

If you need it you need it. But I understand that no matter the reason, losing your female organs can be very emotional for many women. It is okay to grieve this loss, but I bet you will feel much better in the end.
You don't go into a lot of detail about what has been done/looked at, but one thing I would encourage you to do is get tested for bleeding abnormalities, especially Von Willebrand deficiency. In midwifery school I read a research report that looked at many women seeking hysterectomy for excessive bleeding and found over 1/3 had previously undiagnosed Von Willebrand disease. Something to consider if that has not be checked yet. I wish you the best of luck.
ETA: I forgot to mention that your family history puts you at a higher risk for this because Von Willebrand disease is the most common inherited bleeding disorder. It is possible your other family members have it as well, if they were not tested in the past they still should be, it could cause an issue with any physical trauma or surgeries in the future.

My mom had a lot of fybroids which caused very heavy bleeding during her periods. She had a hysterectomy in her early forties. At first she was feeling like you-nervous, less of a woman, worried about the recovery. Now in her mid-sixties she would tell you it was a piece of cake and would do it all over again. No more standing up hoping she didn't leave an embarrassing mess behind her. It made her anemic at times from all the blood loss. In short, this particular surgery is so routine that doctors have really found ways to make it less invasive and recovery much easier. Good luck! I think you will find you worried a lot about nothing!
HTH,
A.

Wow, you've made it years past other family members! That really shows that you've overturned every rock you possibly could to deal with this issue and delay what sounds to be the inevitable. You may have a sense of failure because you've been fighting the fight for so long and have always found a new option, but it sounds like you've finally run out of options. Maybe this is silly but could you have a little get together with your female family members and friends who can welcome you into this new club? Go out, have some drinks, crack some hysterectomy jokes :D Part of fighting a good fight is knowing when to throw in the towel and welcome the new change :) Best of luck in your surgery and recovery!

My mom had this problem to. She was 49 when she has her hysterectomy and she was beyond happy to have the sugery. She feels ALOT better now too.

if you haven't already, i suggest reading "women's bodies, women's wisdom" by dr. christiane northrup. it's a wonderful book in general, but she also has a really positive section about her hysterectomy. good luck letting go! xx C.

It does sound like you have tried everything to keep from having this done and that's great!!! If they do it laparoscopicly the recovery will be a lot easyer. I have not had one done YET but they tried to remove a cyst that way and didn't work. If they have to open you up the healing will take longer. I encourage you to do not more than the drs say to do. Take it easy and take care of yourself.

Good luck and God Bless!

I'm sorry you feel such a sense of loss. I come from a long line of women who have had fibroids and I know how you feel to some degree. Mine was discoverd about 5 years ago, but I have been really fortunate that it was on the outside of my uterus, so when I had a c-section almost 3 years ago, the doc just took it off.
But, my mom and my aunts and grandmas (yes both of them) were not so lucky. All 5 of my aunts, 3 of my cousins, and my mom ALL say it was the best thing they ever did!
I know you don't want to surgery, but you really will feel so much better. You'll have more energy, more 'life' and after you heal up you'll feel so much better. My mom's surgery was basically a c-section so the recovery time was the same and the pain was the same. She said it was a little harder to recover because it was her 5 one...3 kids, 1 staple repair, 1 hysterectomy. My aunt had the vaginal one and they messed up her ovaries, so she lost those, but with the abdominal one they can see what they are doing better so they shouldn't make a mistake like that. I don't think the vaginal recovery is too bad but I don't know for sure. I know it has to be easier than the ab surgery, but in the end, it might be worth it.

I am so sorry that you are scared, but as long as you are done having kids, it really IS for the best, and if you leave your ovaries, then it will be just like life before without bleeding, periods, cramping, pain, less bloating, etc.. You'll still have the hormone ups and downs with your cycle because that still happens, you just don't have a uterine lining to shed. Think of how much easier and less stressful life will be without all the added pressures of dealing with the firbroids. You didn't fail, its just a realistic part of life that many women have to deal with. I know you will do fine, good luck!

Go for it. You will feel great afterwards.

You will be very glad that you don't have to wear Depends as a backup to keep blood from messing up your car seats or any other seats. The painful cramping will be gone and the mood swings.

I had an abdomenal hysterectomy about 18 years ago and it was the greatest thing I could have done. No more break through bleeding, no more anemia, no more worrying about being pregnant. My doctor said I look great after the surgery before surgery. I also was prepared mentally for the surgery and did not feel like I was losing my female parts and being less of a woman. I now could do what I wanted when I wanted without the fear of Aunt Flo showing up unannounced. I also had fibroid that were large. My daughter said I looked like I was about 5 months pregnant because of the swelling.

The other S.

You did try to preserve what God gave you, and now he gave you a doctor who could help you with this next step. As others said, this may feel like a loss that you need to grieve. Even if you are done having babies and your uterus is causing you nothing but trouble, it's difficult to have part of us removed. Talk to others who have felt this way to see how they reconciled it. You fought the good fight, and though you feel doubts about this, hopefully once you are on the other side you will be so glad and feeling better that you will be proud of yourself for braving this and taking this opportunity. I wish you a speedy recovery.