Would You Invite Her?

I think a lot of parents go to places they don't like for the sake of their kid having a good time and being included.

I would take the high road & continue as planned.

Yes, invite them. Why screw the kid because the mom is a dufus? Don't waste time worry about her making others miserable. She can drop him off, or she can suck it up and stick around when she brings him. Most parents suck it up and deal for the sake of their kids. She'll probably do that.

the KID probably loves the joint. the party is NOT for HER it's for a kid. Yes. they should be invited.

The mother can choose to drop off or stay. But it's NOT HER PARTY.

Most parents hate those places designed for kids entertainment. Yes, they should be invited.

Yes, they should invite them. They already said they were going to and her son is probably expecting it and looking forward to it. If they hate it that much, they can choose not to go.

Did she post a picture of the actual save the date? Or just of the place itself?

To send a save the date and then not invite her is pretty rude and will probably cause more problems down the road than it's worth.

I HATE Chuck E Cheese. HATE going there, it smells like feet, kids are running all around screaming, the parents are often no where to be found. Bleh.
But my kids love it. So, when they get invited they go! It's not my party, it's theirs!
I inwardly cringe, but laugh and smile and take pictures while they are there.
This woman probably feels the same way. You invite her kid because it's a kid party and mom just sucks it up.
L.

IF it's a child that you would have invited (prior to reading the awful post) then I would still invite the child. Could be, the mom will make up an excuse as to why she can't go and then no one will have to deal with her..
Also, I wouldn't worry too much about her hating the place, truly that is HER problem.. let her suffer through it if she decides to go.... Also, I have a feeling she will find an excuse not to attend..

It's not up to you or the parents having the party to be concerned about the comfort of this mother. Invite her and her child and let her decide if she wants to go. And if she goes it's up to her to take care of herself. It's not up to the hostess to be sure she has a good time.

I suggest that you needn't mention that you know she said she hated the place. It's just not up to all of us to take care of everyone else.

Who sends out Save the Dates for a kids party??? Those are for weddings.

Would I still invite the kid? Yes. The invitation isn't for the mom. If she really detests whatever the party venue is and doesn't want to take her kid there, she'll decline the invite. That's her choice. While I think what she did was rude, I wouldn't exclude a child because of it.

I would still invite her. This isn't about her but the kids. I HATE Chuck E Cheese... still I would let my DD go if she was invited and I am sure that SHE would have a blast...
I am also not too preoccupied how entertained the parents are at our b-day parties, especially the venue ones. I think we are all adults and can act like one when it comes to hanging out at a place we dislike for an hour or too so our kids can have fun....

The only way I would not invite her was if I knew she was a sour puss and would stand around whining and complaining, ruining it for everyone else... as long as she can keep it together, invite the kid +1 adult for supervision.

Good luck.

What?! It's about the kids. Never punish a child for a parent's lame social media post.

I hate Chuk E Cheese. For a whole lotta reasons.... None of them earth shattering.

Do I boycott them? Nope. I go there on a fairly regular basis (bday parties).

I LOVE Jump Planet/Pump it up/ bounce house places.

I put on my happy face for BOTH. Just like other parents who hate "it". Whatever "it" is. We do stuff for our kids, and for other parents, that we would never do for ourselves.

Unless we're selfish self centered jerks who actively try to ruin a child's bday, or guilt/shame a parent for choosing their child's loves instead of an acquaintance preference.

PERSONALLY... I'd invite the kid. If their parents make a scene, well, lesson learned. Until then, I presume the parent will rise to the challenge.

(Unless I'm asking for $. I don't assume others can pay. That's one thing I hate about the pizza rat place... I don't HAVE $30 for tokens. When I'm hosting a party, I pay. Period. Most people I've come across have taught me to keep $40 in my pocket as its more of a "Dutch" bday party. I grin and bear it, but its a hardship for me. But, my son's bestie loooooves the Pizza rat place. And his parents love that one CAN only spend $2. They're broker than I am, so that's really Important.)

Point being, I can hate the place, but be thrilled for the kids, and respect the choice.

Not always. There are a VERY SMALL handful of places I will neither go, nor allow my son to go (moral reasons). But if that's the case, an invite won't hurt, as they won't be there!!!

She's kind of an idiot for the timing of her comment. However, I would totally ignore her comment as if she didn't make it at all. It has nothing to do with the parents or the child. If they don't care for her enough to invite her after this, they shouldn't have sent her a "save the date" invitation in the first place. If they were just inviting a group, like their child's entire class, and don't know her and her son well, then I don't know why they'd care if she's miserable. Also, just because she is invited doesn't mean that she will come. Their "slight" on not inviting her after asking her to save the date would be just as rude as what she posted on FB.

There are venues I absolutely hate too, but would suck it up and go anyway according to the circumstance.

And remember, just because she groused about it on FB (where LOTS of people grouse about stuff) doesn't mean that she would have an "attitude" and try to ruin the atmosphere at the actual party. Some people are like that, but not everyone.

Dawn

Invite the child. It's not the child's fault that the mother doesn't have a brain-to-fingers-to-social-media filter. If she hates the place enough, she'll decline the invitation. And SHE will be the one who ought to be embarrassed or uncomfortable, not the parents of the birthday child.

I can tell you honestly that if that had happened while I was planning one of my children's parties, I would NOT be preoccupied with making sure that mother wasn't miserable and didn't have an attitude. SHE is responsible for her own behavior and attitude, and if she was rude enough to bring it to the party I would have no issues taking her aside and asking her to tone it down for the sake of the children who are enjoying themselves. I would absolutely put her on the spot and make it HER responsibility to put on a poker face.

EDIT: For the record, my MIL has hated nearly every place we've ever held a birthday party including my HOUSE. But she's polite enough to hold her tongue. :-)

People post stupid things on Social Media sites that get them in trouble!

I would still invite the child. I have taken my child to places I hate, simply because the party is for the CHILDREN, and whether I like the place or not has no bearing on whether my daughter will enjoy it. I do, however, keep my opinions on the venue to myself!

If the parent was sulking about it at the party, I would be sure not to invite them in the future. If the child got a "save the date" then he/she is looking forward to going and would be disappointed to not be invited.

Save the date seems weird for a child's party, but I do know that a lot of kids have birthdays around the same time and so some parents have started sending "save the date" emails, just so two parties aren't scheduled for the same time.

Is there a popular children's venue that virtually all adults do NOT hate? I have not found one (ok, maybe the zoo). You sent them a save the date - you are pretty much obligated to send them an invitation.

I invite people to my party wherever it is taking place, it is their choice to attend or not, is the same when I do something at my house, which is not big or fancy but this is what I have to offer, take it or leave it, that is their choice.

Some times I have attended parties at places I am not fond of but I go for the birthday child and/or parent, plus the kids always have fun anywhere their friends are.

invite the kid and let the parent make the decision........it's not the kids fault

I would be tempted to pretend their invite got "lost" in the mail.

I wouldn't take the mama's attitude out on her son. I would invite him anyhow. If Mama says he shouldn't go, that's her decision.

Ditto Cheryl O.
Kids' parties are for kids, not adults!

I hate Chuck E. Cheese. Hate it. It's loud, the food is crappy and the idea of my 4 year old spending two hours in an arcade makes my skin crawl. There, I said it.

Having said that, though... he's attended 3 parties there in the last 8 months. Why? Because the party is about the KIDS not the adults. If the birthday child likes the place and likes the other child, then the adults need to get over themselves and just let the kids have fun.

Of course they should invite that child- they kind of already did. If that mother doesn't want to send her son, then that's her choice. No need to "entertain" her. Excluding the child now is mean. The mom is tacky and classless, but revoking and "already extended invite" is cruel to the child.

People are allowed to hate what they want. But they can still be invited places. They always have a right to decline. Go ahead with the original invite.

I agree with Laura.

i want to make sure i understand.

So lets pretend just for the sake of arguement that perhaps the party was goign to be at oh ... say... Chuck E Cheese.

So Birthday mom sent out a save the date ( i sure hope it was an email or something because a paper snail mail save the date does sound like wedding to me, although if it's dec maybe it's smart... anyway)
DID the save the date Say it was at CEC?

Then it just happened that invited kid and mom were hanging out with mouse and invited mom posted that invited mom hated this place or invited kid is quoted as saying invited kid hates this place??

Also is the place generally not liked so much by parents as in a ChuckE Cheese kind of place or an unusal venue that the pary parents thought whole families would enjoy??

cuz it kind of seems to me like if it were the mom commenting and she didn't know that the party would be there then oppsie bad timign but no reason to feel mortified by having the party there.

If the kid said he hated the place then that would be the only instance i would lean towards NOT inviting. but i would still probably do it and hope they didn't come.

if it was an unusal venue and i was already worried about people being like WTH why are you having a children's party at the ritz carlton or something then i would change the venue or just deal with the fact that it might not have been the best place and learn from that for next time whle making the best of it at the moment. but yes still invite.

Edited I am still confused. You never said if the VENUE was listedn on the SAVE THE DATE.

It think the host mom is full of herself and should NOT assume that the invted mom was specificially saying she didn't want to come to host mom's party.

Believe it or not she and kid coudl have been there on their own or at another party,

Honestly, I can't see myself pulling up an old picture of me and my kid at that VENUE just to insult the host mom. unless i HAD been good friends with her and for what ever reason WAS NOT a freind anymore, but even then i woudln't do it becasue that woud be mean.

bottom line ----over thunk,

I haven't read the other responses, but if it's the rat house on a Saturday afternoon, I'm right there with that mother.... I hate the place. However, I'm also mature enough to recognize that the party is NOT about me. It's about the birthday child, and for my daugther, it's about celebrating with her friend. So, we graciously accept invitations, and she attends. some of my daughter's friends' parents automatically reject invites to parties there unless it's a BFF, and that's their business.

I'd go right ahead and invite the child and let the parent accept/reject as they see fit. As for entertaining the mother, I wouldn't worry about it. Hopefully, she'll be mature enough to model gracious behavior for her child to learn how to be a gracious guest. Adults really are not the target audience for a kid's birthday party venue.

If they want the kid to participate in the celebration, if they want to share the celebration with the kid, then they should extend the invitation. It's simple to me. Either the kid will be there, or he won't. I think that too much attention is being paid to her post.

Also, they should not assume that she will cause trouble at the party. It's not their job to make sure that the parents are sufficiently entertained at a young child's party. They are borrowing trouble to fret over what could possibly happen in the event that blah, blah, blah. Just give the kid a party. Invite his friends, and let them all have a good time. The adults will do what adults do in this situation, and you'll all respond accordingly. Unless you guys are shooting a Real Housewives...episode, the kind of drama you're talking about is likely far-fetched.

I agree with you - she's already expressed her feelings. I would not send the official invite. How rude!

Send the invite to the kid. To do anything else would be cruel to the kid. What the mom posted on her own site page has no bearing.

I would still invite the kid. I would also make a deal about saying to the mom something like 'I am surprised to see you-I know how much you hate it here .' just to kind of call her out on it.

It would be hard to decide. Is their child close to her son? Whatever they decide, they shouldn't go out of their way to make sure she has a good time. They're providing a party for the children and if she has a bad attitude about it, that's not their problem.