11 Year Acting Out.

This sounds like a major change in his behavior. Stealing and getting suspended are starting the misbehavior at the top of seriousness. What did he do to get suspended? I suggest something serious is going on with your son and you need to find out what it is.

Have you talked with him? In a calm non-judgmental way? This is the first step. Also talk with the teacher and the principal to find out what their take is on his behavior. If he hasn't seen the school counselor arrange for that to happen. If doing these things doesn't get to the reason why and/or stop the behavior it's time for a child therapist.

It's important to deal with this without anger. Being and showing anger to your son will shut him down and you won't learn anything. Try to understand why he feels that he needs to steal. Be compassionate while remaining firm about this behavior ending.

Punishment doesn't work as well as discipline. You have to know why he's doing this. Discipline is teaching him that this behavior will not get him what he wants in the long run. Give him logical consequences related to his behavior. For example, for stealing have him return what he took and apologize to the owner.

I could answer more completely if I knew more about his behavior. Who is he fighting and why? What did he steal? Why was he suspended?

Have you sat down and had a conversation with him to see what triggered this behavior? These things don't happen out of nowhere. There is almost always a reason. I would be very concerned about the reasons for the fights and getting to the bottom of his thought processes. Simply punishing him and taking things away from him won't work if you don't know what's really going on. Punishment without cause isn't beneficial at all.

My best advice isn't to lecture him or punish him, but listen to him. Actually listen to what he has to say. Talk with him, not at him. Discipline, not punishment, may be the way to go here. That's not saying "don't give him consequences." Behaviors that harm others and himself should have consequences, but the consequences need to fit the situation.

Hey P.,
I have found boys to be alot different from girls. Boys at 11 are going thru so many changes. It could be certain friends he may be associating with? I know that is a common cause. Even other boys at school that you might not be aware of. Also, he may have some stress at school. I would ask him if he is having any problem with anyone at school as well. Sounds like overall, somthing is bothering him or that he is wanting attention. Maybe all of the above. Anytime a kid starts acting out suddenly with no apparant cause or nothing leading up to it (that we know of as parents) there is somthing that happened. If theres nothing going on at home, then somthing maybe at school.

Seriously, is it the mom or the kid asking the question H.? It would be helpful to know so I can answer this question properly.

He may be friends with some new kids that are trouble makers. Find out from him who he has be hanging out with. Talk to the teachers and principal to see if they can pinpoint the cause of the behavior or if he is hanging out with a bad crowd. My friend's son is a good kid but when he got to 6th grade he became friends with some really bad kids that caused lots of problems. Your son may just be trying to fit in with some new kids and feels he has to act tough or bad to fit in. Good luck.

He's bored....and needs attention. Also, remember hormones are in FULL swing. I find that angry tweens and even kids or adults have liver issues that are subclinical, so they don't show up on labs until much later. Maybe milk thistle or even AndroXY from BioSpec might help nutritionally.

Ask HIM what he wants to do. Have him help plan a trip with just dad and son. Go camping with him, if he wants to do that.