1St Grader with Anxiety

Lots and lots of mirroring his emotions.

"School can be scary sometimes, can't it." "It's hard going to school sometimes, isn't it." etc.

And, avoid perfection in his schoolwork at all costs. Go easy on him.

Is he anxious only on Mondays or do you see anxiety seeping in through different areas of his life? I'd talk with his pediatrician about it. Anxiety can become really problematic if it's allowed to get worse (trust me, I know) and the best time to nip it in the bud or to give your son coping skills is to treat it earlier rather than later. So talk with his dr to see if they're normal anxiety symptoms or if he maybe he should be treated (i'm not talking drugs btw, just some behavioral techniques to calm him, etc.). good luck!

Please call the school counselor today - if there is not one actually based in the school daily, there is one assigned to handle issues or questions for your school. Meet with the counselor by yourself to talk about this, then arrange with the counselor for your son to have a few talks with him or her. This is what school counselors are for and what they do! Ask the counselor for specific tips on what to say and do at home, yourself, to help your son; ask how you can work with the teacher on classroom issues that may be causing anxiety; and ask the counselor to work with your son one on one for a while (could be just a few times over a few weeks, or could be for a few months). It is typical for kids at his age to be anxious -- first grade is a big change and much, much more is expected of kids in first grade than in K.

Also be sure to rule out things such as possible bullying or a bad fit with his new teacher.But if he's always been uneasy and easiily upset about new situations, you probably are dealing with classic stress anxiety here and not a bullying/fear of the teacher problem.

Please call the counselor today and say your child is so anxious he's actually nauseated to the point of vomiting. Any decent counselor will want to see you, and him, as quickly as possible. Also, have you talked to his classroom teacher about this as well? Are there routines that really throw him and therefore upset him, etc.? Does he not know a single kid in his class so he feels isolated? Does he feel pressured about the reading you mentioned, for instance, even if that pressure comes just from inside himself? Is he used to certain routines at home and in kindergarten, and this classroom is just so different he is not wanting to adjust to it?

Both the teacher and the counselor need to be involved now, so that this does not continue. If it goes on, your son could start to dislike school itself and that could linger and affect not just this year but ones to come.

This may sound rediculous, because it sounded rediculous to me when my son's teacher suggested it - BUT, she bribed him into the room. We had mornings where he would cry and cling (he is also a first grader) and I had to literally DRAG him through the door and leave him with the teacher restraining him.
Our ordeal was seperation anxiety more than performance anxiety due to his dad being gone SO long on military duty (we on are month 10 right now with 10 more to go), but my son ALSO is a people pleaser and wants everything to be right. He gets extremely embarrassed if he gives a wrong answer, and refuses to order hot lunch even on pizza day because he is afraid to go to the cafeteria to pick up his tray with the rest of the class; he says he doesn't know what to do and is afraid to ask his teacher for help.
Her suggestion was to tell him that if he came inside without crying for three days in a row she would buy him his favorite candy, which was a small box of nerds. I thought this was rediculous because it wasn't actually solving the underlying problem, it wasn't addressing his needs for security and confidence, and I don't bribe my kids at home for these reasons.
Guess what? He went to school without tears for three days in a row, then the teacher was out sick the next two days so he continued going in with a smile in the hopes that when she got back she would deliver on her promise of candy. Monday morning she forgot the candy after being sick (understandable) but he took it in stride and went to school Tuesday with a smile, and got his candy! This was now over a week without crying, and we have only had minor setbacks here and there since then. Usually our bad mornings are ones where he felt rushed during breakfast, or he is tired from a busy weekend without enough sleep.
Once we had formed a habit of smiling through the door, it stuck! He still won't go get hot lunch on pizza day, but I'm going to just let him work through that one himself. I figure if he wants it bad enough, he'll take my advice to stand next to his best friend in line and ask the teacher for help.

The reward systems can really help, also giving him some things to do if he feels that way may help such as giving the teacher a special signal so he can go get a drink from the drinking fountain, go see the school counselor or psychologist, etcetera. I would talk to his teacher as well as the counselor or psychologist to see what kinds of plans or one on one they could do to help him manage his anxiety : )

Anxiety is a medical condition, so I would start with his pediatrician. It's not something you can fix on your own; you want professional guidance on this. The right medical help can make a world of difference.

I used to have similar when in grade school. I had to change schools fairly often and I hated it. Being shy it was not easy to speak up, and feel like I fit in. I got pains in my chest and had all sorts of tests done. Strange thing they came at night before bedtime ( probably thinking of school next day ). I would lay in bed in the mornings and be late and miss the bus. My mother surprised me one day by walking to school with me and taking the little siblings and it made me very late but I did not miss the bus again. Still it wasn't much help with the dread of going. I also threw up on the VBS program night due to stress of going up in front of people. I can definitely understand how our son feels. I think the way it was handled for Kathleen R's son sounds great if it works for your son. Maybe you could help out at school some and make him feel like he is comfortable and maybe you could eat lunch with him some day. Be patient because he may never be outgoing and carefree but he will get so much better. Wish there was a way to just make it go away but we are all different and we just have to learn how to function well for each of us.

Yes, anxiety could be the thing. Throwing up and fainting are typical.

Does your boy seem healthy and happy the rest of the time?

If I were you I'd talk to the teacher, to see if she (or he) is aware of this anxiety. Ask how he is during the school day - maybe he's better once the day starts. If your son is afraid of failing for some reason, the teacher needs to know it. This is a situation where mama and teacher need to be a team.

You really need to sit down and have a talk with him about school. Find out why he feels anxious/nervous about school. This way you can deal with any fears or problems you may not know about. He might even be the victim of bullying. If none of that helps, find a really nice pyscologist not a psyciatrist. You want your child to be able to deal with the situation without drugs. You might even want to think about taking him to kung fu, yoga, or karate classes to help him learn to concentrate, build self-esteem, and focus.