Help with a 1St Grader Having Stomach Issues and Not Wanting to Go to School

My son went through this and thankful I persisted enough that my doctor listened to me. My son had anxiety about school,which he has somewhat out grown. We were sent to Children's Mercy and he they ran tests. He had small ulcers in his belly from the extra acid his anxiety caused and he was extremely constipated. His intestines were so full they were up to his ribs. So we did diet changes and he was put on an antacid. While we treated these symptoms we took him to a child psychologist to help him cope with his anxiety. Now he is nine still has a sensitive tummy. He cannot handle oranges but the constant pain is gone. By the way my doctor originally tried to tell me it was just because he did not want to go to school. While that was part his anxiety he was having real health issues. You are her mom and you know her best.

Good Luck,
E.

I'll mention something the others haven't. Anxiety about going to school can also be a result of not understanding what is being taught. Children with dyslexia often experience this, and it can manifest itself in physical problems. She may be a bit young for real homework, but real battles often ensue once homework begins, because the child cannot do the homework. AND, teachers generally have little knowledge about dyslexia, so don't make the mistake of thinking your child's teacher is an expert on this.

I agree w/the others. I would contact the school counselor & her him/her find out if there are problems w/kids on the bus, class, lunch, etc. Also, contact your pediatrician. The fact she is anxious about you loosing your earrings, her future, etc. are not normal for a 1st grader. I would try to determine if that is because she is extremely anxious about something else or if she may be exhibiting symptoms of General Anxiety Disorder.

You are right to be concerned. If she feels miserable, there must be a reason.

Good luck Mama in finding the culprit.

J.

T., we just went through the same thing before the holidays with our 6 y/o, stomach hurting and headaches in the morning before school and sometimes in the evening before she went to bed. I was literally pushing her to get on the bus when she was upset. Some days i took her to school, walking her to her class. I felt awful about it. When she was not at school she was fine weekends days off ect. I got really concerned even took her to her pediatrician. He said she looked fine. She can be shy and worry a little too. I talk to another mother about the same problem her daughter was having. After weeks of going through this we come to find out there was a classmate of hers that was bullying her. So, she would worry about it and didn't know how to handle it. We talk to her and made her feel better about it gave her some confidence. She hasn't had any problems lately. But sometimes it could be something going on at school. Try talking to her a little more or to her teacher. Sometimes they just don't know how to handle certain situations that they make themselves sick. If she is feeling uncomfortable, there has to be a reason. But you have a right to be concerned I hope you find out soon what it is. Good luck

My daughter had this problem at lunchtime each day, she would tell the lunch helper that her stomach hurt, the helper then told me. This was just after I was diagnosed as allergic to milk, I had worked in a preschool where a boy was falling asleep all the time and his doctor took him off milk, he was a different child! So taking my daughter off milk in the morning seemed advisable, it worked no more stomach ache. She's 27 not and drinks milk, she's just sensitive to the fact that it could bother her. She used to eat cereal daily before school, we changed to other foods and it worked. Also it could be the problem with feeling tired. If it works, you need to talk to your doctor about how to make sure she gets her nutrients.

There is probably something going on at school or on the bus. I would start with making a phone call to the teacher. See what she tells you. Explain your situation to her and your concerns. If she has no insight, then I'd talk with the counselor. I've seen this before. I teach 4th grade and recently was made aware of a boy in my class that suddenly didn't want to come to school. Apparently 3 girls in my classroom were passing rumors on the bus that he was gay! The counselor spoke with the child and his dad. Your first grader is probably being bullied either on the bus or at school. Maybe the teacher can make your daughter her "assistant" in the morning so she'll look forward to going to school. I would, however, get to the bottom of the situation, don't let it go on!

Not sure how 'normal' I am, :-) But I was like that in 2nd and 3rd grade and we'd moved to a new school and I was shy. Hated going and purposely missed the bus and finally one day my mother took the baby in the stroller and other sibblings and walked me to school and I was very late but went. I was so embarrassed I didn't miss the bus again but still hated school. I hated it until out of it but that was just me. I did well and was not behind or anything like that. Just shy. Not so shy now but took years and always had a few close friends I was loyal to but not a socialite ever. I have grandsons now who tell me over and over they hate to go to school in the morning but once there they hate to come home. Some kids just can't adjust to the little change each day of home to school to home, etc. Time and maturity help some though. Be patient and check out the other suggestions you were given on here and maybe there is a problem and maybe just her personality and needing an understanding mother to help her face the hard times in life. Being away from home and mother is hard for some kids at this age. Some day you won't be able to keep her home. :-)

Hi T.,

Children who complain about stomachaches and dizziness, who complain about going to school, can be telling you that something just isn't right.

While I’m not saying that your child is dyslexic, the things you’ve listed are some of the most common characteristics of dyslexia.
I agree with Kim P.’s post as well; trust your instincts about your daughter and don’t let anyone tell you this is simply something that you should ignore.

I've listed some of the 37 common characteristics of dyslexia on my website if you'd like to read over them: http://www.onpointlearning.org/2.html

C.

Hi T.:

Your situation sounds exactly like mine earlier this year. My son started complaining of stomach aches in the morning and I would send him to school (after taking his temperature and making sure he was ok of course). When we got to the classroom in the morning, he would hold on to me and scream and cry until the teacher had to pry him off of me and I just had to walk away. This was very hard for me to do so I had to try to figure out what was going on. I would ask him if anyone was picking on him or if anything was bothering him and all he would say is his teacher talks to loud which I blew off as an excuse. I took him to the doctor just to make sure he was ok and he was constipated. I also spoke with the school counselor and there were a couple things going on. He is very shy and was having trouble making friends even though some of the kids were in his Kindergarten class and it turns out his teacher is very loud spoken which is a complete change from his Kindergarten teacher. The stomach aches were not only him being constipated but his nerves as well. After speaking with the counselor, she helped him make adjustments and everything was been going great so far. I would keep trying to contact the counselor until you have a chance to sit down and discuss your situation with her.

I see others are thinking like I am. I would talk with her teacher, as well as the school principal, who can look into potential problems on the bus, be it other students, or even the driver. My radar definitely went off when reading this one, so please do look into it further.

Hi wow your daughter sounds like mine.Are you sure that bullying is not the issue. My daughter does that too where she says she doesn't feel good and i asked her why she doesn't want to go to school she finnaly sat down and talked to me and told me that there where a few girls at school that where picking on her, so we mentioned it to her teacher and since then she has not hesitated once in the morning to go to school. She has even made a few friends now and is excited to have playdates with them. She may not want to tell you if there is an issue at school for fear of being a tatle tale. Now the dizzy issue, maybe you should have her eyes checked out. When i was younger i used to get sick and dizzy, and have bad headaches at school too. My mom took me to the eye doctor and he said i had very sensitive eyes and that it was caused by going in and out of the florescent lights in the classroom. I wore glasses for a while and i didn't feel sick anymore. To this day anytime im in a store and go back outside to natural light i still get that feeling a little but its not as bad. Hope this helps, sit down and have a honest talk with her about this there may be more to the school thing than she has let on, You may want to have her eyes checked, or she may be just fine and would rather be home with you. Only you know your child. Good luck.

Hi T.,

In my opinion, she does feel uncomfortable going to school, it is not necessarily a matter of bullying always, she just may feel uncomfortable with the teacher, a classmate, a subject, another person from the staff, or she just misses you and her little brother. She needs something comforting, sometimes at this age needs something to hold on or to feel less shy and more secure about herself, ( a daily sweet note from you everyday w. her lunch...a little stuffed animal to take with her, etc...) something you may want to talk with her teacher so she knows in advance. It would be a good idea to let her stay at home for a couple of days, and while she is with you talk in a very casual way about school (what do you like at school? what's your favorite activity/subject, what's your favorite friend....the nice questions first, and then ask her about her not favorite classmate, or sad moment or the minutes she felt mad at something or someone..I am sure you will find something, not necessarily too bad. Do this little by little, don't start rushing her or asking questions one and another at once, please!..T., I did the same with my kid time ago, and I found out interesting things that helped me to help him in hard times for him. These situations happen sometimes. Kids won't say most of the time when sometimes is happening to them for different reasons, we have to find ways to reach them. keep always a very open communication with your kids, and it will be easier to get to know their feeling, thoughts and ideas.
T., if you see nothing is wrong about anything, check what she is having for breakfast. She may need more breakfast or less breakfast.

Good luck!
Alejandra