2Nd Wedding

I have never heard of registering for housewarming gifts????? Also, with it being a second marriage, I think it is distasteful to again ask for MORE gifts!

I would register for gifts, let people know that gifts are optional and this is where you registered at. That way at least people know what you would like, or need, but that they don't really have to bring anything.

I would still register. Your family and friends will want to buy you something and it might as well be something you want or need....and most people find registries really helpful in finding something! They want to find you something that you can actually use and registries save a lot of people time!

(I went through a divorce and remarried - which was the first marriage for my hubby....had the big wedding and registered, it went fine! I did keep the guest list to close friends and family.)

Congratulations! Best wishes for a future filled with love and happiness!

I don't think it would be a problem for you to register for gifts, even though you had a housewarming within the last year. Frankly, if someone doesn't feel like getting you a gift either because they attended your housewarming, or because they gave you one at your first wedding, then they don't have to. We had a destination wedding in Key West and most of the guests felt that their "gift" to us was attending our wedding and did not give us a gift. Others (on my husband's side) felt that since they had given him a gift for his first wedding, that they didn't need to give a second one. We were (and still are) fine with it and would never hold it against anyone. The point of our getting married was to be united, not to get gifts. I wouldn't worry about what others think about your registering and just enjoy your special day! Congratulations!!

we had a very small wedding. 50 people and did it in 6 weeks (He came from overseas, so we had only 90 days to get married). I did not register because I already had a house (full of everything). Most people gave cash or gift cards. It was really fun to see what people bought if they wanted to give me a "real" gift. I got a beautiful crystal bread plate wih freash bread and some salt (it's a tradition in some cultures for a bountiful home). I got some nice artwork. and lots of other stuff. I made sure that people didn't feel the need to bring gifts at all, even though they mostly did. One thing that was helpful, I told my sister (who was the person to RSVP to) some bigger items that I wanted, just in case people wanted to buy things for us! We got those items, too.

It all works out in the end. You cetainly don't want to rob your husband of his first wedding/ marriage experience, so make sure some of the items you request are with him in mind. My cousins who gave us the Home Depot gift cards are still my husbands favorites!!!

P.

Congratulations on your wedding! I don't think it is tacky, in fact I love registries because I am going to get folks gifts, so why not be ones you can use and appreciate?!?! If you aren't registered, you run the risk of well intentioned gifts and receiving 15 candle holders!! That would be a waste of money for everyone involved. I am sure that there is a fun and appropriate way to let folks know.

J.

Hi Erika,

First off congratulations!! Second, why don't you have the housewarming and the reception all as one big party. Then there would be no need to register again. I agree having the housewarming and then a reception and registering for both in my opinion would be tacky. Now if you had gotten married first and then down the line gotten the house and had a housewarming, that would have been fine. But since they seem to both be happening around the same time I would put them together.
And it doesn't matter if this is your 2nd marriage, it's your husbands first. I got married for the first time and it was my husbands 2nd time and we had the whole shabang. Now if it were both of yours 2nd marriages then it would be a totally different thing.
Good Luck and Congratulations!!
J. in Macomb

I've been married twice. I registered with my second marriage also. Your "current" husband deserves to have all the bells/whistles and fun of a first marriage, after all it *IS* his first marriage and it will be his family's first time celebrating with him. I don't know.. I don't think it's tacky at all though. Everyone on both sides should be happy to celebrate this new union of Love. It's not about what someone gave in the past, but what is being celebrated now - a beautiful union between two people who love each other and intend to make it last. If someone has a problem with you registering, well then they will likely just send you a card - still a nice gesture, but I think this marriage deserves all the pomp and circumstance of the first. You certainly don't want to "lessen" this wedding's celebrations and joys for the sake of a nod to a "failed" marriage you had previously. You'll feel it and so will your hubby. I say go for it. Register. Be happy. And if you run into naysayers (aren't there always a few at every family gathering) just find peace with yourself that the joy and love of your new marriage can't be touched by the "fuddy-duddies" of tradition. :)

Congrats! You could register; but only include that information when you send out to "his" side. If anyone asks you or mentions that they plan to purchase you a gift; you can tell them or email them the information?

This way you can say "it's his first wedding and I wanted to give his family all the trimmings as it is a Vegas wedding." or something creative like that? You are not fibbing and you are not out for the presents. And you get what you still may need.

(Vegas is awesome... That is what I did! Totally LOVED it!)

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I am engaged to be married for my 2nd time in September & his first and I'm sure was asking myself the same questions you are. My first marriage was in 2004 so I felt since my friends & family just did this a few years ago, how can I ask them to do it again. But in the same thought process, how can I deny my fiance of all the things a big wedding entails. We decided to have the big deal all over again, including showers. We are having close family & friends for my side & his mom is organizing one for his side...we did register for gifts, but since we are combining 2 house & my ex husband loved kitchen gadgets(which I still have all of), we registered for other things...patio furniture, bedding, movies, and other needs. I think you should go ahead & register anyways. Then you will get things you need.

It depends a lot on how your family feels about such things. My family would frown on it because of the repetitiveness, and a general disdain for the focus on material things, but that's my family! If you registered, and then didn't really "advertise" it, but let key people tell anyone that asks, it wouldn't offend anyone that didn't ask. And for his family it is the 1st time so its not inappropriate at all. Anyway, congratulations!

Hi Erika,
I would look at it like this, this is how I looked at it when I had my second baby but my husbands first. Just because you've done it once doesn't mean he should get to miss out on everything for his first time! People are going to buy you things, wouldn't you rather register and be able to get what you want?! People want to get you what you want and are going to use, not hide in the closet. How would you feel about it if it was a friend of yours? I'd say go for it what's it really going to hurt? You are starting a new life with a new man, you don't really want all your old stuff from your old marriage, do you?
Congrats on your wedding, hope you have fun in Vagas!

With 100% accuracy I couldn't say for sure. And there's the ever changing ideas about things too. My son got married a year ago, almost, and it took a long time to send out----get this----form letters as thank you notes, whoever the dummy is that suggested that!
But my oldest sister is on her second marriage and I don't think she registered. If between you you have everthing you need, some left over from your first probably, I personally wouldn't. It might appear tacky. Hard call tho, with your intended embarking on his first marriage.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

I would not register at all. If you need something that badly, you no doubt will receive some gift of money and put it towards whatever you need. With the housewarming party and a wedding, it is going to be overkill. It looks greedy to me. Put the shoe on the other foot - how would YOU feel if you got an invitation for a housewarming party, with a registry card and a short time later, another invitation for a wedding with yet another registry card? I don't think you would be that thrilled.

I understand your concerns. I would register and in the invitation may be say, your presence at our reception is a gift in itself. If you would like to bring a gift, we are registered at.... or something like that. And in the registry include some inexpensive gift items.

Hope this helps.

M.

When people want to know what you'd like for your wedding gift, and people will want to know, if only the folks on your hubby's side... but probably lots of people on yours, too... you could do what people did before rampant commercialism took over etiquette at weddings.

Give you mom, sister and best friends the list of preferred whatevers, and when they are asked 'what do they need/want' they'll have the list ready. Many people never refer to any list, registry or otherwise, so you'll get what people think they want you to have, rather than from the list anyhow. He can give his mom, brother and best friend the list, too.

Registries popped up to stop people getting 15 toasters, but getting 15 toasters isn't the worst thing in the world, 1st, because then you have 14 future wedding gifts for your friends, and 2nd, you get to select the one you like the best from the collection instead of only getting to choose from one.

If the worst thing you have to do with the year following your wedding is take things back to stores and pick out other things using other people's money, you'll have a pretty good year.

Dear Erika K.,

Sure, register. You are not forcing people to buy you gifts by being registered at different stores. What you ARE doing is giving ideas or suggestions for those who would LIKE to purchase something for you and your new husband to celebrate your marriage. Make it easier on those who want to buy for you. Who cares what others think? People will think what they will; you can't hear their thoughts.
I don't know of a tactful way to inform interested parties where you are registered. Perhaps other readers will have good ways to do it. I find that there is much help on this website. I learn a lot of info just by reading others' ideas about different subjects.

L. C.
Zeeland, MI

I would register at one or maybe two places and not include that information on the reception invitation. That way if someone asks, you can give the information. Make sure the parents also have the information so they can answer if someone should ask them. That way you aren't advertising for gifts, but giving helpful suggestions if someone wants to give a gift. Most people will appreciate it. (of course, there is always the one who has negative thoughts)

Hi Erika,

I too am married for the second time. I did register. I had been a few years between marriages and it was a first marriage for my husband. Honestly, I think people are rather forgiving on things like this if it is a second marriage... if someone becomes a 'serial bride' ... well, then... yes, that is tacky.

I say, go for it! Have fun, enjoy your wedding, your reception and your new start! Don't worry about what everyone else thinks.

Big Congrats!
R.

Being this is his first wedding, it may not be a bad idea to register. If your friends and family know the fact that this is the first time for him, I don't think they will take any offense to it. Plus, I think it would be something nice for him.