3 Y/o Meltdowns - Stratford,CT

my husband and I talk about this every time we go to visit either set of our parents. All they talk about is how good we (and our sisters) were as children, and it honestly makes me feel bad about my 2 year old. But whenever we are with them, either they are visiting us or us visiting them, nothing is normal for my daughter, so of course she is going to have a couple more "meltdowns." We always try to tell ourselves what a bright, loving, wonderful little girl we have. Sure she gets frusturated easily, but she is highly inteligent and we think it is upsetting when she can't clearly communicate with us.

I'm sure it is more selective memory as another poster mentioned. What parent would want to focus on the negative about their child? I'm sure when our daughter is grown and with children on her own, all we will remember is the wonderful things she does. Not how she yells "Never Mommy" when I ask her to sit down.

Oh, I think your aunt has selective memory. Granted, maybe she was lucky and had kids with very easy temperaments, but I'd be surprised if she's remembering correctly. This is so normal. Remember, vacations are exhausting for adults, even more so for kids. Seeing relatives they hardly ever see is very stressful. There may even be a bit if jealousy as far as who is getting your attention.

If the behavior continues after vacation and things have settled down, then it might be time to work on this with him. As parents, it is our job to teach proper behavior, not matter how age appropriate it may be. Just keep working with him and guiding him. He'll get better.

My kids really didn't have meltdowns/tantrums, but if your family rarely sees your kids and was seeing them during a vacation time, it's not appropriate for them to make judgements. They are not seeing the kids during a normal time. Your 3 year old was away from home, staying in a strange place with a lot of people and activity and his schedule was way off (as happens on vacations). This wasn't your normal life, this was your vacation. Your aunt's kids probably didn't have tantrums everyday (mine didn't have them at all), but your aunt was thinking of her kids during their normal life, not during their vacations. When my daughter was a toddler and my mom was alive, if we had a big family event, she'd comment on how unfriendly my daughter was ... ummm, yeah, she's suddenly being mobbed by a bunch of people she doesn't see all the time. Ignore them. Why are you questioning yourself? If your child was having meltdowns every day at home, I might be concerned but when his routine and sense of normalcy were all out of whack, I think it's understandable.

S.,
Every baby is different. Your baby is sensitive to SOMETHING - regardless of what - and is reacting to it. What you call a meltdown is his inability to process the information ina positive way (or at all!).

Hug him. Then hug him again and acknowledge his feelings. yes it is awful he is not getting something. It is. it is. it is. Acknowlegement is not giving in - itis recognizing that he is a human being with wants, needs and feelings. And part of growing up is learning how to acknowledge others, so you will be showing him - teaching him - how to do this.

You are your child's first teacher - Rahima Baldwin dancy - great book - even if you are not going to home school.

Your little guy is 3. not 7, not 10, not 20. 3. My husband does the same thing. Tough cookies. get over it. NONONO! He does not understand no! You have given him everything he has asked for (food, love, hugs, a place to sleep, clothes etc) and now he is running into gray territory - maybe I can and maybe I can not.

Another thing: DO NOT, CAN NOT, WILL NOT - = - Use THESE words (AVOID don't, can't, won't) Children this age (and often up until age 7) are unable to process them. They are unable to process them. They hear the last 3 ewords of your sentence, and that's it. Don't pull the cat's tail. Might as well just tell the cat - hey, you're on your own! Fend for yourself - sic that kitty little boy!

AND ADULTS RARELY REMEMBER ALL THE TANTRUMS BECAUSE THE GOOD TIMES ARE THE ONES THAT ARE REMEMBERED!

I run into this constantly. I also run into another truism: everyone remembers things happening differently.

good luck,
M.