3 YO Very Curly Hair and Hair Washing :)

I'd brush or comb his hair before trying to wash it.

My hair is heavy and wavy so it's a nightmare to deal with if I don't comb it first.

You could try a 2-1 shampoo so the conditioner is already doing it's magic while you wash it.

I also have a reasonable little person at home and have to say that sometimes I will give in to her, when she makes a compelling argument.

However, you don't want end up with the tail wagging the dog and some things are simply non-negotioable for us and proper hygiene is one of them.

My daughter has wonderful long blond hair that tangles easily, so I get where you coming from. She has been through phases where she didn't like it washed, so I washed her hair with screaming and crying or she agreed after I made sure she understood the only alternative to washing, brushing and blow drying is to cut it short.

It may help if you let him help choose a shampoo - and as much as I am against licensed characters on everything, last time we ran into resistance princess shampoo really helped ease the ordeal... or maybe it's the scent he objects to and you can find something that is more appealing to him.
Conditioner is a must if you're dealing with tangles and I have to say that the "grown up" kind beats any kid shampoo out there.

But all in all, as much as you can try t make it easier for him, I think this is an instance where you simply have to establish a chain of command and put your foot down - it would be a fight I'd pick.

Don't "convince him," just do it. Let him know that if his hair isn't clean, his hair will look greasy and yucky.

Shampoo his hair, then use a good detangler/conditioner and a large toothed comb in the bath to comb out the tangles while you're rinsing.

When you dry his hair, try to blot his head with a towel, but don't rub...you'll rub the curls out. Since you combed in the shower, you should only need to finger-comb it to straighten things out.

I don't really understand, you are the mom, you tell him I am going to wash your hair now lean back so the soap doesn't go in your face...then you do it. You are the adult you just do it. When he doesn't lean back the soap goes in his eyes he learns to lean back, it only takes a time or two of you being calm and patient telling him "now lean back" and he will start doing it. If you must then allow him to hold a dry washcloth over his eyes to keep the water and soap out.

I always wash the kids hair in the shower with a hand held shower. That way I direct the water flow and no soap goes in their faces at all. Water usually doesn't either. If you do baby shampoo then you are double protected, it doesn't burn either way.

I have used regular shampoo and conditioner since both kids were very small because I have taught them to lean back and they do it because they know it they don't they will get the soap in their eyes and that it's not pleasant.

If he were a girl I'd also tell you to use a wide tooth comb and comb the tangles out while the conditioner is in it then rinse it out. It makes tangles a thing of the past. Not an issue anymore.

We curly hair types tend to HATE our hair very, very, young.

Why? It hurts. And it's a (literal) pain to deal with. So we start trying to avoid having to do anything with it. And then people go on and on about how pretty it is, and we just want to shave the stupid stuff off.

Biggest Curly Hair Trick On The Planet:
-Never, ever, ever brush it dry OR without conditioner in it.

Straight hair you're not supposed to brush wet... because it breaks. Our hair is shaped differently. It doesn't break when wet. ((I didn't get this until I had my hair chemically straightened to a fare thee well and for the first time in 25 years could only brush it dry. I thought y'all were nuts!)) This includes running your fingers through it (people have a hard time resisting attempting that with curly hair... which not only makes it ugly later on... separating the curls into frizz, but ALSO -and this is going to get repetitive- it hurts. In includes while shampooing.

Ringlet curly hair doesn't need to be SOAPED that often (it's natually 'dry' the vast majority of the time) but for those of us with ringlets we DO have to "wash" it every day, or we start getting dreadlocks. Fast. By "wash" I mean CONDITION. So we can brush it out.

Use a LOT of conditioner in the beginning. Sounds like he's had it up to here with his head hurting (I cried every morning for YEARS, my mum didn't want to "weigh the curls down"... so I didn't get to use conditioner until I was 9). Absolutely saturate his hair with a wasteful amount of conditioner. Let him feel how SLIPPERY it is. Let him run his fingers through it. See? Slippery? THEN brush it out. Let him run his fingers through it again. See? Slippery!

Then rinse it all out and "style" it right then and there while it's still wet.

PRODUCT
_________

You may feel silly using product in a toddler's hair. Esp since until 4 or 5 it's still "baby" textured, so it doesn't frizz out (every hair for itself!). BUT it will cut down on 90, THAT'S RIGHT! NINETY!, percent of the tangles that are gotten throughout the day.((Anyone who says product in a toddler's hair is ridiculous has never dealt with curly hair, and doesn't know what they're talking about... it's like non-parents talking about parenting)). The product keeps the curls from separating. It's the separating that creates the tangles. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT TANGLES when he has shampoo in. The curls separate when they get wet, the conditoner makes it slippery so the tangles fall out. When his hair is dry and the curls separate (from sleeping on it, running, wind, etc.) massive tangles. Product keeps that from happening. Overdo in the beginning, and then back off until you figure out what the "perfect" amount is for the length.

For baby hair I recommend 1 of 2 products:

Best Option: Bumble & Bumble Get Straight Gel (it won't make it straight, it's just a "holy grail" of gels, because it does the trifecta+: Glossy, Bouncy, Run Your Fingers Through / able to style while dry (can't do that without a holy grail product or it will hurt or get big or both), SOFT, AND NOT sticky, crunchy, drying or oily. It is uber expensive. $25 a bottle. With short/ kids hair, you'll probably only need a teaspoon or tablespoon... BUT the trick with ANY product and curly hair is that ALL THE HAIR HAS TO BE COVERED/SATURATED IN IT. Very unlike / opposite of what you do with straight hair. It will feel WEIRD while it's wet, but after his hair dries it will feel completely normal.

"Cheaper" Option: No More Tangles. Ha. But here's the catch. SATURATE the hair until dripping (see above) and do it while wet. With my son's hair (I'm ringlets, he's big curls... slight difference) I ended up using something like 20-30 sprays in order to saturate his hair. So you end up going through about a bottle every week or week and a half. I say "cheaper" but in all reality, at $4 a bottle... you're spending about $20-25 every month or two... so it ends up costing the same as "the good stuff" (B&B GS won't make his hair oily feeling like NMT will), but it's a LOT less expensive to "start".

When he gets older, a mousse (like garnier fructis) which is super cheap but works well will make his hair glossy BUT crisp/ can't run your fingers throught it. It's really really important to use something that makes the tangles "slide" when they're little (aka more expensive).

Whew. Okay. Nuff from me! And specific Q's about anything, though, feel free to PM me.

That's just the opposite of what my kids have done. They didn't like the water but the soap was fine most of the time. Maybe some of the soap has gotten in his eyes at one time or another. I bought a visor for my son and that helped tremendously. My other son would put a washcloth over his face and my daughter looks up at the shower head and occasionally uses a washcloth. I have also given soap to my daughter and let her put the soap in her hair by herself. I have also noticed that I have to be gentle putting the soap into their hair. Maybe because your sons hair is so curly you have to really work it in and that's the part he doesn't like. Try to just ask what you can do and give some choices. Now that my daughter is 3 I can work with her a little. Good luck!

If the problem is soap (as it was with both my children), I bought goggles and put them on them! This worked like a charm and they have learned since to wash their hair without the goggles, but in the mean time, it lessened the distress. I know that others said you are the mom just do it, but fears are fears, and if you would want someone to respect your fears, you have to respect others fears even if they are a child. If it is a hair combing and it hurts issue, try brushing or coming his hair before showering, or comb his hair while you have the conditioner in his hair. Good luck!

Can you give him a toy that will distract him? Maybe a hand held sprayer that he can play with the water while you add shampoo and wash his hair. As for the tangles, I use a conditioner in my daughters hair and brush it in the tub.

i wonder if his little tangels are hurting his head. try some baby oil in his hair to soften the tangels or make them slippery to get out. also have him try to wash his own hair. it might be a control thing more than anything.most kids hate to take a bath and its a battle to get them in then once they are in its a battle to get them out.

if its not a battle thing try having him sing a silly son about washing all the bugs out of my hair. or a silly rhyme or rap.

Is the issue that he's afraid to get the soap in his eyes? My suggestion is to let him have some fun time in the bath tub first. Have his water toys etc., and save the hair washing for last. Have him stand up and look up to the sky..can you see the stars, is the sky light blue or dark blue, can you count the stars, come up with goofy questions, you get the idea. As he's looking up at the ceiling/sky and answering the questions you wet his hair, apply the shampoo, etc. I always have a tall plastic glass to use to wet and rinse so it seems to go rather quickly. Good luck!

Hi Jilly!

You could try a little shaving mirror (shatterproof) so he can see the suds in action (And maybe a few mowhawks). We use the handheld sprayer and it really cuts down the gush of water and the risk of soap in the eyes.

As for the curly hair, I couldn't agree anymore with Riley J she is spot on....you have to treat the curls foremost over the age of the hair. I have a curly q with ringlets and i have to leave globs of conditioner in her hair with out rinsing and it cuts down on alomost all the tangles (and makes her ringlets nicer!). We love Aveda curl products and their leave in curl creme. Also in a pinch Herbal Essence Totally Twisted line works great too (and is usually on sale). With the right products you will be totally surprised at the difference and your son will be so happy too!

Good luck!

Maybe just rinse his hair real well and only add conditioner?

Before the bath put a vibrator on his head and also alot of pressure. Have him blow heavily through a straw or blow bubbles or a horn. HIs sensory systems will be better able to process the feeling of the shampoo and rinsing.
Another option is a good ol fashioned buzz cut...pick your poison.

http://search.ouidad.com/?q=Kids
I love these hair products, no more brushing and no more tears. You should never brush curly hair, especially when it's dry. There is also a special hair cut specialized for curly hair.