I have a child that has ODD and OCD and one that has Generalize Anxiety Disorder. One of the most important things for all children but especially ones with disorders is consistancy and routine. What I mean by consistancy is to try to do the major things in your life all the time at about the same time. This would include meal times, bed times, and your work times. Also, if you say no to something one day it has to be no all the time. Children have a way of reading you and they know when you are weak, tiered, and not in the mood for an arguement. This is when mine double team me. I find that if I make the rules when I am refreshed and alert it helps set the ground rules for when I'm exhausted or sick. Don't make drastice changes in your life unless abosolutely neccessary. My child lost it every time we moved. Which was quite often when they were young and I was a single mom.
The consistanceies were much easier when I got married because my husband is the type that likes things the same all the time. My son is now sixteen and we made a move last year, which was tramatic for him and my four year old.
We still try to keep a consistant routine to some degree. This is very hard with all the diffrent things going on in teens lives and four year olds lives. We just try to keep some things the same all the time. For instance we go to my mom's house to visit every Friday, rain or shine. There has been very few weeks we have missed.
I have never been a plan it all out, do it all the same type person, but this was forced on me by the wellfare of my children. There is always some unexpected things that comes up and changes our plans but we find that if we talk this changes over with the kids they deal with them better.
Parenting is very difficult and with disorders and disabilities it makes it even hard. It is very impportant to find a support of some sort to keep you up when it gets tuff. I have often had great neighbors, family and church members threw the years that have saved me often in times when I could have never made it alone. Seek someone that is close enough to you that can be there in a matter of minutes. Some times I have had to call in a "911" to my neighbor. See was right over and gave me the hugs and support I needed. This neighbor was also allow to scold my children if she saw them doing something that We did not allow, as I watched out for her children. Great neighbor aren't always easy to find but generally if you find a church home you can find someone that has been through it and will graceously help you.
God bless you and I hope the best for your family.