Am I the Only One? - Orlando,FL

nope you are not the only one!!! I am 22yrs old with a 2yr old boy and expecting twins! I am a single parent and trust me it'snot easy. I worked a temp job 9am -5pm and I also attend college mnday and wed. nights from 5:40pm -9pm MY 2yr old stays with my aunt on those days bad.. I feel like a bad mother not dedicating time to my son.

J.... I'm right there with you... I'm a 36 yr old single mom of a 21 month old boy and have NO family here in Florida other than my son. I work from 8:30-5 Mon-Fri and That's It.. the rest of my time is with my son... I can't even imagine juggling 5 other things... I've simplified my life the Best I could and I think that you'd be better off doing the same.

J. darling-you should be so proud of yourself! You are doing so great. I know it gets exhausting, and you do have a full plate,but i know that everytime you look into your daughter's eyes, you know every ounce of sleep you lose, every tear you cry, every waking moment you spend busting your hump at work and at school-it's more than worth it. I am a single mom of two beautiful boys-jesse is 91/2 years and jackson is 4 months. They have the same dad,but he's gone out of the picture. See, he left 8 days before jesse,(our oldest) was born,(jerk) then we got back together when he was 6 months old, only for him to decide "family" wasn't what he really wanted-(bigger jerk)-so he left again and we were seperated for 8 years. He came back in april of last year, we got engaged-(you think after 8 yrs. Someone has changed)-jesse had his dad around and was ecstatic-we were planning on marriage when i got pregnant with jackson. It turned out that he didn't want me to have the baby,asked me to have an abortion,of course i refused,he told me that if i decided to have the baby that he was going to leave again-so i said "goodbye"! I did it without him before, and i'll do it again! In the meantime, my mom who had helped me raise jesse, developed terminal breast cancer and is unable to help with jackson. Jay is currently $23,000.00 in arrears to me in child support for jesse, and hasn't even so much as acknowledged jackson's birth. I struggle day to day, but i can't complain because i am truly blessed to be their mommy. Remember sweetheart-god doesn't give you more than what he knows you can handle! Take a step back-enjoy that precious angel you created-and breathe!!! I'm praying for you girl:)

Hi J.,

Wow, I thought I was the only one too! I know that I am a single mom even though I dont want to believe it. I am of course with my son's father but its long distant relationship. GO Figures. I am the only one who is taking care of my son 24/7. I know he tries to see his son once a month and is in the process of moving here. I rarely believe that until I see it! Its a figure of speech that he has been saying for months and months. But, I understand where you are coming from. I am working M-F 8am-430pm. My sister is watching my son but is getting to a point where she cant watch him anymore. I am in need of looking for a babysitter. I do feel alone all the time and need that support. Its very frustrating time in my life where I really know I am a single mother and I refuse to accept that. But its the truth. I am looking to work a second job from home to have an affordable lifestyle. I rarely get sleep nowadays! I feel like all my energy is into my son and work. I have no time for myself. I was used to my own lifestyle where I can go tanning, get my nails done, workout, hang out with my friends and more! NOW, thats been cutoff! I feel you girl! But, God put us on this earth for a reason. It may seem like we sometimes dont like where we are at some point in our life but it will all work out in the end. As far as having a relationship, don't rush! It will come to you when its unexpected. Thats the truth. Don't go looking for one! Let them come to you! Once that person you meet later down the road, you will have time because that person will be sharing that bond with you and your daughter! It will happen when its ready! God is with you all the step of the way! Stay strong! I hope this helps!

If you are feeling depressed, tell your doctor, he will run down questions for you and evaluate if you shoudl take medicine to raise your spirits. I went thru it and before i knew it, i saw sunshine again.

J., I guarantee you are not the only one. Unfortunately the exaustion will not end for a while to come. The key thing is to take at least 2 days out of the month just for yourself. If it makes you fell any better, i am a 28 year old single mom of four girls. I go to college and babysit thre more kids to make extra cash, which is never enough anyway. I am trying to establish a for profit corporation and a non profit at the same time. However, even I know that baby steps are essential to one's sanity when you are a single mom. Please feel free to view my website at www.lucafamilyservices.com or e-mail us at ____@____.com luck

I definitely applaud you. Wow! I'm 37 and have a 20 month old and 3 animals that demand my attention, and I'm tired most of the time and I go out of my mind crazy at times. And I am a stay at home Mom. I don't know how you do it. Perhaps it's that you are 12 years younger. I too feel alone at times since all I do for the most part is care for my child. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. I think it is totally normal the way you are feeling. But I would try and find some time to yourself or doing something fun once in a while. I know I need it once in a while. Good luck!

Nope, you arent alone! Isnt it nice to know that? Thats why I love this website. You have a lot going on, and parenting has got to be the TOUGHEST job in the world. I also work full time, have 2 year old twins, and am divorced, but I dont go to school on top of it! I did enter into a relationship that kind of fell into my lap and I'm glad I did, this man helps me keep some of my sanity when I think I'm going to lose it.

I'd love to offer babysitting to you so you could have a night off, but I'm in Melbourne, that would be a long drive for you I think. Hang in there!

Being a single mom is not easy...and you have all these jobs!!! Maybe you are feeling burned out but that is normal. We all do when we do not have a "person" to give us support both emotionally and financial. Whether you are in a relationship or not it's what you have probably decided I do not see how you could have time working 2 jobs and having a young child. Hang in there, things have a way of sorting out on their own most of the time. Good luck, L.

www.joinfamilysquad.com

They can help.

Hi, wow! you're doing a great job! Keep reminding yourself. A couple of suggestions. I'm not sure where you live but you could try to find a mom's group that organizes playdates etc. Gymboree or My-gym is a great place to meet moms too. Park district. Develop a "mom" network. Sometimes just being around other moms and being able to talk to someone really helps. Also, you could join a babysitting co-op. (or create one). How it works is you all can trade off babysitting time, sometimes it's a set time other times it's more come and go. (I know you don't have much time) so you can spend a little time to yourself. Sometimes even having 2 or 3 moms in the group can work out fine. Plus your daughter would love to make new friends. Best of luck to you. Please try to find some time for yourself. :-)

J.,

Reading your Bio made me exhausted. I only have one thing to say: simplify, simplify, simplify!!!!!!!!!! It sounds like you fill every day with activities. Take your child home, have dinner, read a book, go to bed early. Get rid of the second job, and talk to your first employer about a raise if money is the issue. Explain to them that you are the sole breadwinner in your family, and pay is a priority. Plan a budget and stick to it. Even if that means no movies or Chuck E Cheese. Drive an older car for a while - stay of out the malls!
Its great that you are going for your Bachelors degree, but perhaps take a semester off. It took me 10 years to complete my degree, and I have no regrets.
As for a relationship, that is the last thing you need right now. Spend time with your daughter, family and close friends. A good relationship takes a lot of energy, which you don't have a lot of right now. You'll have plenty of time for relationships when your daughter gets older, and you'll meet a better class of men in their late twenties, early thirties. Guys in their early twenties are idiots for the most part.
Enjoy your youth and your life - it only comes around once.

Its okay to feel this way, you are exuasted. I bet its just time for some down time. You are making a life for both of you, and being careful with who you spend you time with. It is important that you are okay with what you are doing in life. There is nothing wrong with the choices you've made, and as long as you know that you'll be okay. But if it is encroching into you and your daugther's life (the loneliness) then you might want to talk to a counciler or religious advisor or a doctor. They might have some suggestions you can go with, or even goose off of. Good luck, Jen

You are most vertainly not alone. I hope fo ryou that things are more hopeful since your posting was a long time ago. I am new to FL and although I do have a boyfriend, I still feel very alone as well. Being a single parent is difficult, but knowing that you are the best thing your kid has is the best reward.

J.,
You should be proud of yourself and the example you are setting for your daughter. You sound like an amazing person and mom. There is a great mom group online www.orlandomoms.proboards106.com (I hope I got the address right) We have working moms, stay at home moms, single moms, etc. I have met some great people and there are playdates and events, chances for you to meet other moms and kids. It's also another good place to get advice and such!

I can completely relate to your situation. You sound like me 6 years ago. I had to work full time and go to school at night while caring for my 2 young daughters, which were newborn and 4 years at the time, without any help from their father to top it off. It is completely overwhelming especially when you don't have a support system. I disagree with one posters reply to quit school. Don't even entertain the idea! When I was in school I saw several single moms that were overwhelmed also "take a semester off", they never came back. Stick it out, it will NOT last forever and you and your child will be better for it. Take this time to get to know yourself. My dating advice that I live by is: It's better to be single than sorry! LOL! Feel free to email me. It helps to have a friend thats been there done that even if its only online. I wish you the best.

J.!

I hope you find time to smile everyday and appreciate who you are. I just found some old journals last night about how I felt the same as you. But then I started reading all the love letters I've written to my two children and realized how far I've come.

I move to Avalon Park on May 15th, and we enjoy doing BBQ's. Perhaps you'd like to come? Please email me or call and I'll let you know when we have our first one. We have a fenced in backyard so the children can't escape!

J.
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J.,

You are not the only one! I too am a single mom to a wonderful almost two year old boy. I truly believe that for us to be the best possible mommies to our children, that we have to strike a balance and find some happiness (outside of our munchkins) for ourselves. However, like you, I find it extremely difficult to find (or make) time for me because I feel guilty for all of the time I have to be away from my child to earn a living for us. All I can honestly say is that it will get better over time. You are doing everything you have to do right now to make a life for you and your daughter and once you have that degree in hand (and a higher paycheck to go with it) you will feel such a sense of accomplishment. The way I justify the hard times is that right now our kids are small and really need us. Soon enough, they will be in school, attending extracurricular activities, playdates, the occasional sleepover...that will be the time for us to "get a life" again. These years are too precious, and very brief, in the bigger picture and it is our job as mommies to be here for our babies now while they are so very dependent on us. Do take time for yourself, even if it's just a good book, a hot bath and an occasional glass of wine. Pampering yourself is important, but I think once school is behind you, your daughter is a bit older and you are truly ready to meet someone, you will. Right now, every date I've attempted to go on ends with me thinking, "I'd rather be home with my son." And just remember -- no men = no man-related problems/issues. :)

Take care.

E.

J.,
I just have to say I admire you for doing what you do. I have a 16 month old boy, work full time and I'm finishing my bachelor's in Architecture. I have a husband and eventhough he helps a lot it is overwhelming sometimes, I jut feel like crying. I know most of the time you're probably exhausted, but think of how proud your daughter will be when she gets to see you graduate. Hang in there!

It sounds like you are over extending yourself. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help. If you have someone who can take your daughter for an afternoon once in a while, take advantage of it. This time will pass. Hang in there.

No you are not alone! I am a SAHM of a one year old and I have a wonderfull husbadn, yet still I feel overwhelmed and exhausted all the time. My husband works 48 hours then is home for about 20 hours which is mostly spent sleeping, so I have very lonely feelings as well. I feel as though I am a single mother. The difference is that most of the single moms I know have a job to "escape" to. I know it sounds off, but staying at home can be more work than a full time job! First off I almost never leave the house! Do you have any idea what that can do to a person??? I havce a one year old that is not talking yet so no conversation at all-do you kno0w what THAT can do to a person?????? I think I am crazy most of the time, but my doctor told me I am still carrying some of the post partum depression, I didnt get it until late like 7 months after he was born, and it wasnt serious so I never got on any meds or anything. Here lately it has gotten a lot worse where I dont even want to get off the couch-I make myself but I seriously could just lay there all day!!! The doctor gave me some very mild depression medication, Zoloft. I have not yet taken it because I dont know how I will react to it. I am waiting until my husband has a few days off in a row so I can get used to them efore I am alone with the baby on them. I will let you know how it goes! Good luck with your situation, I hope it is not serious! What I always remind myslef of is that we were blessed with beautifull children that will always love us NO MATTER WHAT! So I do everything in my power to stay healthy and strong and motivated for him! Be safe!!--C.

Oh you poor thing. I totally understand what you are going through. I feel like I will never date again or at least until my kids are old enough to move out of the house! You are going through alot right now but what is most important is that you are spending time with your daughter. You can never get those years back. Just try to spend a couple minutes a day on yourself, I like to sit outside for about twenty minutes and just relax, it usually gives me the boost I need to finish the day. And about the dating, well, I have no idea. Let me know if you find an answer to that one!