Angry Mother

sounds like you're mom pretty stressed out herself...and taking it out on you. probably becuase she doesn't have any one else to take it out on. do you have the reciept from the money order? if so, then there should be no reason you can't get your $$ back. i went through a situation just recently. my car loan people took out 1 too many car payments from my checking account and ran me around for almost a month about carrecting the mistake and giving me $ back(plus over draft fess that mounted becasue of their screw up). it finally took my filing a claim with the BBB and speaking with the president of the bank the loan is with. learn from mistakes...if one person isn't getting the job done go to next highest person, and the next highest and then keep going up the chain of command until you get the results you want. those companies pay people to give you the run around so the big wigs don't have to deal with you. your mom was wrong for calling you at your job, but she's probably more upset about her dog than she's letting on. you just need to call her and get together for rational, face to face, one on one conversation. explain that you are doing your best and doing everything you can to get the money back that you owe her, you are sorry her dog is missing but maybe you can help find it. show her the $ order reciept, and every time you speak with some one at the $ order co, write down there name and extention # and what they said. maybe helping you has put her in a bit of bind and she needs the $ back quickly to get some things settled and that's why she is so rattled about it. most grandparents will do with out so there grandbabies won't suffer. jsut talk to her. as single mom, have you tried to get any government assistance. you can probably qualify for housing, daycare, food stamps, medical care, even tuition. i think it's the cabinet for health and family services.

Ok, time to set boundaries with mom and your dependance on her. Since this has happened, DO NOT take her calls at work anylonger. She is jeopardizing your job. DO NOT use mom as an answer to money troubles any longer. Go to your church, to the local food bank, to government agencies, anywhere but to mom. You NEED to find the resources to be totally independant of her care. DO NOT divulge any more personal information to her than necessary. I'm sure she loves you, and wants to know that you are being taken care of, but more importantly, she NEEDS to know you can do this on your own. It also sounds to me like you don't need more jobs, you just need a better paying ONE. Check your local community college. You can get grants and scholarships that are set aside for single moms who are struggling. There are grants that pay for child care, and you can also take your child with you to class in some situations. DOWN SIZE... can you move to an apartment that has lower rent? Can you get a roommate?
What about help from your child's dad? Are you spending money on unnecessary things like eating out, partying, excess clothes shopping, etc? these things can be changed and a major life change is needed to correct this situation.
ABOVE ALL... get into a good CHRISTIAN church. You need the LORD'S Help first and foremost. He can set everything in order for you to be independant. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" Philippians 4:13.
I'm a "been there done that"; there is a way to get through this. You can be independant of mom and grow to have a wonderful relationship with her as well as succeed for yours and your daughter's sakes.
Good luck and God bless!
L.

I can understand her frustration she took her own money to give you for rent and it should have been mailed out immediately.I'm sure she wants you to be responsible and taking care of your own business. Maybe she feels used and taken advantage of I'm sure you do not want her to feel this way. Maybe, you need to show her you can take care of your business. She may not always be there for you too count own. Maybe you need to look into a better job that pays more don't give up just remeber god will provide if you work hard at it and I'm not talking about your current jobs and talking about making your life better by looking for better options for you and your daughter.Good Luck I'll be praying for you.

J.-
You have learned so good life lessons today. First, you should have gotten a receipt from your rental office, and they should have some sort of documentation that you "paid" your rent. If they lost it it's leagally not your responsiable to pay twice... think about it, if you paid cash - which is a money order bassically at Walmart and at the end ofthe night the cashier came up short, would they expect you to pay twice? Also, the money order company can "trace" the order, and you should have a receipt for it as well. If you never got either receipt... Lesson Learned. As far as your mom's anger goes, its admirable that you are working so hard to support your child, however that is only your "job" until that child is 18... at 24 your mom is not expecting to support you finianically... it's admirable of her to even "pay" for your mistake of not keeping receipts.. etc.. Have you even considered that she may be strapped for cash? Another lesson learned, your need to take care of you and your baby it's no one elses job...
That said, this is my advice.... Talk to your mom, explain you have learned from this mistake, and make a payment agreement with her... if you move back in you can't / shouldn't expect her to foot the bill for two other people because you need to "stand back up" you need to hold you own, exspecially in this situiation, or you will be allways getting bailed out. Another peice of advice, Stop shopping and spending. make a list and stick to it no instant purchases at the store, if you see something you like make another list and if you still NEED it get it a month later, your see that once you control the spending habit and money stops being so tight you won't need those things anymore.... 3rd try to consolidate and loans / credit cards you have and cut them up.. so you can pay them off and become debt free... again only buying what you need not want... and lastly, request an increase in child support, with gas / food expences increasing for a single mom, it's hard... so have your babies daddy help more, if you are not receiving child support this is the week to PUSH for it... Or you could find yourself in this situation ever few years or so for the rest of your life... If mom still thinks your lying,... do not move in with her, do what you got to do to keep your head up and prove her wrong... cut out the cable and internet... that you kid for a walk to the libary (free internet there) get involved with your community... you will quickly see that you are one of the moms that has her stuff together, and that there are alot more out there worst off... Hold your head high, and remember your the grown up now, (I know it stinks) but your child relys on you to know the answers not grandma!
Good Luck, and God Bless/

J., you sound really stressed out and with the relationship the way it is right now, moving back in with her will not help. Do you have the receipt for the money order? showing her that should alleviate her doubts about whether or not you purchased it. If you had to submit it for your claim, I hope you kept a copy of it. Take care of yourself and your three year old. I know its hard, I did it too. It will get better. Three jobs and being a mom is impossible. Check with social services and see if there is some support you can receive. Good luck.

Hi J., if I were in your shoes I would try EVERYTHING I could to try and make it on my own, it sounds like you are triing very hard. Have you ever heard of Financial Peace University? Alot of baptist churches have meetings on them, and offer childcare for free. It is a way of managing money penny by penny. You can also do it on your own, without the church group meetings, Dave Ramsey is the author, do a web search, he has a website and it might be helpful. Try not to let your mom's harsh comments upset you, yes that's easier said than done. Hold your head up, you are a strong woman and can do this, if you need to stay with your mom to get on your feet, just make sure you make the most of every penny(and if you live with her put paying her back on the top of the list, might make things easier with her), take a rest when you can and write down a plan for you and your daughter's future.
I left my husband once and took me and my 3 boys to my dad's, he didn't care and always said it was fine, but it was still very stressful just being in a home that is not yours. Good luck and I know you will get on your feet, and like the other girl said, look into help from the government, it can really take a load off of you and that is what you have been paying taxes for: help when you need it.
A.

J.,

I wish I had a mentor when I was going through the tough times like this - we all get through it so please stay positive, even with your mom. I suggest having a mother daughter sit down (heart to heart) and let her know how you are feeling - in turn she will most likely share her tensions also - I would not put an emotional block between the two of you, but instead break the ice and get some true feelings out on the table.

Housing - I would not move in with your parent(s) unless you are or her have become physically disabled (not financially).

Housing is a massive expensive when you are single and working. Look at inexpensive alternatives example: move to a rural area where housing is less, rent a "flat" instead of a one bedroom apartment or look into Habitat for Humanity and purchase a home.

Seek a budget counselor or a mentor to look over your total budget - if you are a member of a church, ask your pastor for a reference. Since finances are generally the biggest "stress" we have - give that chore to the experts -they see the whole picture that sometimes we don't see.

Be willing to give up that 3 job....although money is tight, remember that you are a mom first and your daughters time is more valuable than the 3rd job. I agree with the one post that it is "ok" to get assistance. Too many single moms are made to feel we are "using' the system when in actuality that it why they are put in place. When you are back on your feet, give back to the system by you and your daughter volunteering together at a shelter, or ministry of choice.

Let the small stuff go right now and have that heart to heart with your mom.

Good luck and stay strong.

Having been a young single mom in the same nearly the same situation, i understand what you're going through. You mother sounds like she's using abusive language and definitely the LAST THING you need to do is move in with her - for your own sake and that of your child. Your daughter DOES NOT need to witness your mother behaving this way towards you (she will start to also, with your mother's approval) and it will damage her future relationships and make her suspicious of other people throughout her life. Your relationship with your mother is exceedingly damaged due to her vicious tongue. I would HIGHLY recommend skipping a payment on SOMETHING (credit card, something) in order to pay her back, shut her up, and get her off your back. You are an adult and it is your responsibility to protect yourself and your child - refuse to allow your mother to treat you this way.

Also, I would refuse to take her calls at work. A boss once told me at 22 that I had to keep work and home separated.....and ended up getting fired when I couldn't bc clients could hear me on the phone with my attorney or the police, etc. The easiest way to do that is other than your child, don't allow anything from your personal life to invade your professional one. That way you don't have to worry about any emotional experiences at work that may be damaging to your career. You will be better for it.

That said, I definitely recommend seeking a FPU class in your area that will allow you to attend on scholarship....I'm certain Southeast Christian does. There's also 12 other churches in your area that offer FPU. For a direct link copy this into your browser: http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/classfinder/index.cfm?fuseA... -OR- check out Daveramsey.com and type in your zip code in the blue box that says,"LOOKING FOR DAVE"S CLASS IN YOUR AREA?"). Call and any all creditors and try to work payment plans and stop using any credit cards TODAY.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

I am soooooo sorry. Number 1, I know how hard it is to be a single mom. I was one for 6 years. I had to move away to start fresh on my own a long time ago. I am not saying that is what you need to do. It is something I miss from moving, seeing my mom and family and having their support. BUT, I did it on my own for a long time. I never thought that I could. It wasn't easy, but I used all the resources available to me. Have you tried KCDC? Its not easy moving back in with Parents!!! (for you or your child). I wish you luck! My family will be praying for you!

Do you have any financial support from your Daughters' Dad? You should also concider filing for welfare, food stamps, section 8 housing, whatever you can get. If you are having to work 3 jobs to make ends meet and they still aren't meeting, something is not right! Sounds like you don't want to move back in with Mommy and I can't blame you, but do you have somewhere else you can go? As for your Mom, she probably feels frustrated and is taking everything out on you.

Hi J.,
I don't know that I have any advice ... I just really feel for you and this tough time that you are going through. I have a tough relationship with my parents at times and I know that can be very upsetting and stressful. I agree with the other moms that you would be better off not moving in with your mom. I am pretty organized with finances. Could I help you at all to figure out your budget if you need it? Hang in there!!
Cyndi

Do you have any other options to stay with for a short while till you get on your feet?
Your mother is not as angry with you as she is being out money. Money is hard to come by and it is upsetting when you really really need it and you have to part with it for a reason that shouldn't have happened.
Do you have a track record of lying to her? Is that why she is accusing you of lying now? If you don't, talk to her and explain to her calmly. Give her a plan to get her money back to her. Sometimes when someone can see the light at the end, it does help.

Look for a decent room mate, (one who do not mind that you have a small child)to try to help out with your rental and other household expenses. Moving back is only going to get worse. Because there is the possibility that you you will hear things like, this is my house, if you do not like the rules you can leave. Think long and hard.

There is a lot more to this story than what you were able to present in your post. It seems you are both stressed, but one thing I kept reading in your post was the word I. You can't figure out what is wrong with your mom; I've found that it helps to look at me to see what the problem could be. She seems to believe you aren't managing your money correctly and you've lied about the lost money order. Have you given her reason to believe this by past actions? Maybe you need to sit down and talk calmly to her and determine what she is feeling, and focus on her at this point. She is upset about something, and her feelings need to be validated at least.

I'm not sure moving back in with her is the best idea. You are a mother and have a child, and she has raised her child; it's not fair to her or you. I know money is tight at the moment and you are doing the best you can with what you have, but you need to arrange another living arrangement.

J., I did not read this before your inquiry about your dogs. I do not see moving in with your mother as a positive situation for you or your mother. Your mom is stressed about the rent money which she fronted to you - obviously not a nominal sum - and it may be that this has put her under some financial constraints as well. Look into Section 8 Housing or anything else you can find where you will not have to move in with Mom.

Working two or, God forbid, three jobs is not healthy for your or your toddler. Apparently you are working low paying jobs or short hours at each. If you have not gone to, and completed, college, now's the time to think about it. Maybe your mom would volunteer to babysit while you go to class? Look at local programs, there are many through Sullivan, Jefferson Community College, IVY Tech, UofL, and IU where you can take classes on weekends, at night, or some even online. You can get your Associate Degree and that can, in turn, get you into ONE better paying job and allow you to go on to get your Bachelors and give you more time with your daughter. There is still Federal Grant money available to help you pay for it and, after that, low-interest education loans that you pay back after you complete your studies. Check with your bank on that. Not only would this help you out of your current bind but it is an incredible self-esteem booster and you are creating a wonderful role model for your little girl.
You are close by so contact IUS registrar's office and ask them about your options for two and four-year programs. IVY Tech is close, too, and they have great programs in nursing, paralegal studies, etc. that you can complete in two years. This is one thing that you will only regret if you don't do it.

Good luck.

I know about difficult mothers. Just wanted to suggest a Financial Peace course. It is by Dave Ramsey. You can find a course on line or through a church program. It is well worth it. This may also help your mother see that you are a responsible person and trying your best to get on your feet. You can also see Dave on Business Fox or radio 1030am from 3-5. Good Luck.

I'm really sorry to hear this. It seems you are doing everything you can do to get your feet on the ground and you, obviously, are getting no help from the one person who should be there for you. It sounds like your mom has problems of her own and is taking them out on you. I don't know what to say except to keep on trying to get your own feet on the ground and see if you can find a roommate in a similar situation. (Believe me, there are plenty of people having financial trouble now!!!!) I would NOT move in with your mother, not even as a last resort. She sounds like she is trying to minipulate you. Is there a reason for this? I will pray for yall and things WILL work out eventually. Try not to worry too much - you don't need any added stress!

Remember that our parents are human too, and have their faults just like the rest of us. However, just because she is mom does not make it ok for her to talk to you like you are a child. Just tell your mom when she starts up that you really need her love and support right now, and it is probably better to wait and talk again until she has had a chance to calm down. If she calls and starts again, tell her you have to go and promptly hang up. Don't argue with her- if your mom is like mom, that just makes it worse. Hopefully, after she has time to cool down, she will be feeling a lot better.

Sounds as if something else is going on with your mom. Can you get with her (or on the phone) calmly and caringly ask her, "Mom, is there something going on that's bothering you even more than my problems?" A soft touch can bring out a lot of vulnerability that would normally be covered over by fierceness (I know. I'm the one who acts ferocious when I'm hurt instead of letting it out healthily). If this is the first time you've had such a vehement upset with her, maybe she's the same way and it really must be something out of the ordinary bothering her deep down.

On the other hand, if she's simply a bad tempered, irascible, and/or hateful person, maybe you'd just better stay out of her way and don't ask any favors of her.

I have been where you find yourself at today. I had to move in with my folks at 24 with a two year old. I worked two jobs and still heard about how I didn't doing anything right. I finally decided to get a cheaper place to live and I had to cut alot of corners to live plus I applied for help from the state. That help to get me on my feet. Just remember don't ever get a credit card and think that will help you it will only get you another bill. I also found that out. But once I did all this I didn't have to move back in again I can't live with my parents I have had roommates which that helps too but I will never live with my parents again. too much stress for me.

whatever you are renting, get out of it and into a smaller place. Try a 1 bdrm apt, put the baby in the bedrm and sleep on a pull out. Don't go back with mom. She sounds spiteful and vindictive and I am betting that you have borrowed money before. You are an adult, and need to make it on your own, esp, when she is like she is. Good luck. I wouldn't give my mother the time of day, if she treated me this way.

Hi J.! I too am a 24 yr old single mom...I have a lil boy turning 2 in Sept. First I am sorry to hear you and your mom are having outs during a time in whihc you need all the support you can get.....I don't necessarily mean financialy either. Has she been going through anything in her life lately to make her react in such ways? I know things are always easier said than done, but maybe try talking w/ her to see what's going on....OR if her actions make u feel too uncomfortable to talk to her right now (afraid of her blowing up) get her a card and write your thoughts, concerns, cares, etc. I know sometimes I do better at writing things down. Although I'm not in YOUR shoes w/ the exact same situation, I can honestly say I am there.....single mom, 50.00/mth in c.s., graduated from college when my son was 8mths old (during which I worked 2 jobs, college full time and a newborn on my own)...so I can understand whre ur at. I know times are hard but dont give up-you've made it this far. Remember that things have to get worse before they can get better-u'll see a rainbow after the storm. I dont know if I've helped but I am here if yuo ever need to "vent" lol Ur mom is ur rock....there's something bothering her or going on-keep the communication flowing btwn u 2.
*On a Financial Note* For over a yr now I have been looking for a legite home business for extra income....and I am proud to say I HAVE FINALLY FOUND ONE!! :) there's no certain amt of hrs, its all through ur home, on ur time, on ur computer. ur not selling avon, mary kay or nething like that. Visit my ____@____.com/ec2109 there are a few tabs u can view but to get all the info click on the "request more info" tab on my site and we'll go from there. I think you'll be interested in this company...we are a wellness company promoting healthier, cleaner, and safer lives. Good luck and hope to hear from you soon! God Bless!
E.

J.,

For NO reason??
Why haven't you paid her back? The money order company should have reimbursed you immediately or within a day or so of your reporting the incident. All you had to do was give them the number on the receipt. If they are giving you the run around you can report them to the Better Business Bureau, file a formal legal complaint with the company that issued it, notify the local newspapers about the scam, or even have the company investigated. Money Orders are automatically GUARANTEED.

Do you have a history of lying or using mom to get money every time you have a crisis?? And why do you keep expecting your mother to support you, why not get help elsewhere, like from the baby's daddy??

Your mother loves you or she wouldn't have helped. But she may need the money now to pay her bills. If you don't want momma in your business, stop leaning on her financially and dragging her into your own crises. Learn to take care of business yourself, then the time with your mom can be focused on your relationship with each other and your baby daughter.

Nobody says it's easy, but you made the choice to have a child, become divorced for whatever reasons, and having to work several jobs. There are several programs out there for single moms that help with rent, utilities, childcare, food, medical expenses, and training programs to help you get on your feet and get a better job.

What did you do with the dogs you had?? Did your ex-husband take them, or did you find somebody to adopt them?? Just curious, but maybe your mom thinks you have your priorities confused. I don't know the whole story, and I'd bet your mom would have a tale to tell and at least a partial explanation for her hounding you about the money. There has to be a history there.

The best indicator of character is one's past behaviors.

D. P.

sounds like a very bad situation for you but I honestly wouldnt want to live with her if thats how shes doing you.and I wouldnt want to subject my daughter to that hostility or her calling you a lier.what about getting a room mate to shair your apartment for 1/2 the rent and utilitys that would make it easier and you could just stay at 2 jobs so you have time for rest and to spend with your daughter as well as someone shairing expences would make it easier to pay her back even if it was a little out of each paycheck.if you do get a room a room mate just be sure to check refrances and if your gut says dont trust them dont.also ask for a deposit maybe 1/2 a months rent and right up a contract maybe 6 months at a time like a 6 month lease where if they move earlier you can leagally hold them responcible for there 1/2 for the 6 months.a realtor can help you write up a binding contract.
your mother probably has let some of her bills go to help you and the finactual burden its caused both of you makes the stress level very high you dont need the accuzations but you need to reley on food stamps,medicade,afdc,low income housing not your mom there are agencys that will assist you short term food pantrys,churches,st vincent de paul,volenteers of america,salvation army and if you babys father isnt paying child support its high time he realized that little girls his responcibility to everything is going up and he needs to contribute to her support.I truely wish you well and I pray that you can get on your feet without more tention between you and your mother.

We all have our stressfull days and your mother just might be having one of hers.Keep on the money order people about the claim.If you have the proof you bought it and it got lost stolen you should have no problem.Sometimes these things take away for them to go though..good luck..
S. B

J., my mother used to yell & scream at me all of the time too. Then she started taking anti-pressants and it got alot better. Mayber your mom needs to talk to doctor and start taking some medication.

J., I really feel for you. I can relate. My mom OFFERED to help me and the same thing happened.Show her receits!
First, if your mom is too angry and argumentative and you can't talk to her heart to heart, sit down and write her a LETTER: 1.Tell her the facts about the money order. 2. Express(without pointing a negative finger at her)how being called a liar really hurt you. 3. Express how stressed you are trying to make ends meet as a single mom and how the stress of her anger is making more stress and damaging your relationship. 4.Be bold and state that IF you move in with her, that the anger and accusations have to be settled first. 4. Make a written contract, so that she knows that you are serious about how you will eventuall pay her back. Your good intentions may cause her to give you grace and be more patient with you. In your contract, say about how long you think it might take to get caught up, how long you would live ther, how much out of each pay check (even if it's just $10)you will give her, etc.
If there is any way of finding a roomate or another relative that you could split the rental or utility costs with? That would probably be better than moving in with your mom, especially if she's already feeling resentful about helping you.
I will be praying for you. God will show you ways to work through your delema if you seek His help.
Matthew 6:25-34:"Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you...do not worry about tomorrow...each day has enough trouble of its own."

Dear J.,
I have a mother just like yours. She is the only one that is right and you I am always wrong.

Start right now go to your social seervices office and start getting some help. Explain this to your landlord. Ask them if there is any way you can work it out with them to pay the rent. be up front with every one. Go to local churches, call the chamber of commerce and ask about community programs that might help. A lot of the time the community can help you out.
A

Have you tried getting help from your local church or social services?

Don't despair! I think we've all had days like this with our mother or another family member! Almost 3 years ago, I found myself and two daughters moving back in with my mom and dad after a divorce and a move across the country. There were days I thought one of us was going to die...and it wasn't going to be me!

Now, I live about 2 miles from my parents and we still have our bad days. Just yesterday, she came over to "help" and we both ended up being insulted with me almost in tears. She tells me that I am her best friend but she can't seem to treat me like one of her friends. She says things to me that she would NEVER say to my sister or to her friends. She told me that my hair looked terrible (needed my roots done)and compared my hair to my ex's new wife's hair. How she knows she has great hair and flaunts it and that I need to get something done soon??? I was like...you have got to be kidding me! What does she have to do with my hair?

Before I got divorced my mom once told me once that Mr. X saw a picture of me and said that I better lose some weight if I wanna hang onto my husband. I looked at her and knew she was lying b/c she has always done this to me. She says that someone else says things to her when it is really her thoughts...just so I won't be angry with her. So I start asking detailed questions...which picture, when did you see him, what were you doing and why would he say something that rude. She finally admitted to lying.

The good news is that almost 15 years of therapy, I now know that you can pick the kind of relationship you can have with others...and your mother. It's all about boundaries.

She gave you the money and now wants it back...well, she knew the situation when she helped. If she brings up lying again, tell her to contact the leasing office herself.

Wait a while and see if she calls to apologize. If she doesn't, call her with an update on your missing money order and thank her again for helping you. Maybe she just thinks you're not appreciating her enough.

I know you are stressed out and you don't need to hear anything else...especially from her, but I'm pretty sure she does love and trust you or she wouldn't have helped in the first place. She was probably just having a bad day herself. Give it some time, call her and talk to her about it.

About moving in with her...discuss it with her. Tell her how much you appreciate her letting you maybe move in and that you sincerely hope doing so can make your relationship stronger. Don't be afraid to bring up the phone call. Ask her if she meant what she said...if she did, she wouldn't be letting you move in with her.

Good luck and stay calm. Things will start looking and going up. It's the only place to go once you've hit the bottom. Show yourself and your mom that you've got the poise and confidence to make your life a success!

Hey J.,

I emailed a long note and somehow it deleted so I will make this one short! Did the complex give you a receipt for your money order? is there a way to see if it was cashed? did they make a copy of it when you gave it to them? does the leasing agent remember you giving it to her? If any of these are true, it is their responsiblity. would they not give you any extra time to pay the rent due to the situation? I used to be an apt mgr and we made copies of all payments. I worked at a HUD property, can you contact HUD or the city to find out about help with housing? There are complexes that help with the rent that are safe. You can get a list of them and drive through to see the location. They are to help elderly, handicap, single mothers, etc There are waiting lists here so you may want to get started on it. You can also check into where you live now and transfer to a 1 bedroom. You can get your daughter a cute toddler bed and the two of you share a bdrm until you are back on your feet..it might be fun! Some complexes have a 1 bdrm with a den or office that you can change into her room. You did not mention your 1st or 2nd job.....waitressing is a good 2nd job. You can pick up shifts and make good money! I bartended and waitressed for years and made a ton of money! Also, I am not sure what your day job is and if you are happy but a thought....I applied for a job as a leasing agent in my complex so I could get a discount on my apt...I got it and got 20% off, some offer up to 50% off. I was mgr within two years. Check into this, it is something that most don't think about but it gives you a discount where you live and many other perks. One, no gas money, you live on site! If you do not want to work where you live, start applying at other complexes and when your lease is up...move to your new job site!

As for your mom, don't let anyone disrespect you! Not a man or a family member. The only person who has the right to make you cry is your daughter. Don't answer the phone if your mom is going to make you cry I would NOT move in with her. I would everything else before I did that. Get a roomate, etc Move to a 1 bdrm, borrow it from a friend, etc. I would definitely get the money as quick as you can and pay her back. You may even want to add an extra $20 just to prove to her that you did not lie, you truly did pay the bill. Just don't let her be mean to you anymore, no way would I move in. Get help from where you can, even if it is the state/gov't. You would be surprised at all the help you can get if you are under a certain income. try waitressing, pizza delivery, etc they pay well b/c of tips. Not sure who watches your daughter though, don't get a 3rd job if you can help it, try to spend time with your daughter. You can even babysit for someone in your home so you can earn money while being with your daughter. It gives her a playmate too. Start thinking about your friends, their friends, etc Is there anyone who has a need for you to watch their child or is there anyone who wants or needs a roomate? Try not to move home, you can do this!

W. M

do you have ANYONE else you can go stay with for a while? It seems like if you move back in w/ your mom she's going to hold it over your head.. and possibly take it out on your daughter.

Well...I know it's been a couple of days since your post, but I am a single mother too; who works, so you know it's hard to find time to sit in front of a computer. I am 27 years old, my daughter is 1. My mother is mad at me all the time. I'm never good enough for her, I don't make enough money, I got pregnant while in college, I'm not married, etc. I know you need her help, because things are tough, but try hard to do things on your own. I just stear clear of my mother often and when I see her I always ask how she's doing. I stay away during the week and ask for help with the baby on the weekend. There is nothing you can do about the money order, so your mother has to get over it in her own time. So, when she brings it up, just ignore the conversation, when she's done yelling, start talking about something else. Or just say okay, and walk away when she's done. I know being a single parent is hard, I can barely pay the bills myself. I have had to borrow a lot of money and things don't look to good for me either. Don't let your mother stress you out even more than you alread are. Just keeping working hard, pay the bills, and play with your daughter every chance you get.